Hereafter
by RosieRathbone
Summary: It has been three months since Isabella Swan was last seen. Police have been working around the clock following thousands of different leads, but to no avail. Until one night, when a scared young lady arrives at a strangers house. AH.
1. Prologue

Hereafter

Prologue.

**May 18th 2018. **

Isabella Swan started off her day like any other. She woke up at 07:05 to her alarm, went for a brief shower before getting changed for work and headed downstairs for breakfast. Everyday was the same for Isabella; she had a routine and wouldn't change it unless necessary. She lived in the tiny town of Forks, Washington, and had done ever since she was a teenager when she moved in with her father.

Isabella worked in a local bookshop, and started work every day at 8:30am. It took her ten minutes to drive there from her house, and she left the house at eight o'clock. This was her way, and she was set in it.

0-0

08:30am. Isabella's manager, Gloria, peered out of the shop door wondering why she hadn't seen Isabella turn up yet. It was very unlike her to be late, and even more unlike her not to inform the store if she was ill, or was going to be late for whatever reason.

09:15am. There was still no sign of Isabella, and her phone went straight through to voicemail. Worried that something might have happened, Gloria asked a colleague to mind the store as she drove to Isabella's house.

09:30am. Isabella's car was seen parked in the front yard, but nobody came to the door when the bell was rung. With fear that something was seriously wrong, Gloria phoned Isabella's father, who just so happened to be the Chief of Forks Police Station.

Despite her car being in the yard, Isabella was nowhere to be found, and so within the hour a search had begun.

0-0

**May 25th 2018. **

Seven days after her disappearance, there was still no sign of Isabella Swan. The police had found a few things, but it hadn't lead them anywhere. During the investigation of her house, fresh scuff marks were found in the lawn which indicated a struggle. Her bag was found in a trashcan near a Shell gas station. It was filled with all of her items for work including some packed up lunch, and putting two and two together, the police were of the belief that Isabella was steps away from her car, or even at her car, when the kidnapping took place. The cameras of the gas station hadn't caught whoever threw the bag into the trash.

Neighbors reported seeing a dark blue SUV driving up and down their street a couple times roughly around eight o'clock, however they couldn't say for certain whether it was linked. They also couldn't give any specific details of the car, apart from its color and that it was an SUV.

Isabella's father, Charlie Swan, ruled out the chance of a runaway; he knew his daughter and he knew that this was not a planned thing. Somebody had taken his daughter, and he worked around the clock in order to find her. Within a few hours of her disappearance, Charlie had gotten in contact with border control to stop anybody from leaving the country before a full search of the vehicle had been done.

He hired police from all over the state, and even surrounding areas to help with the search. Sadly, things were not looking good for Isabella or her family. The chances of finding her alive dropped every twelve hours that passed.

The police continued to have no suspects, and whoever was responsible had clearly planned this out, which only made things harder. They never found any suspicious behavior on any security cameras, and after swabbing the handle of Isabella's car, the only fingerprints found were her own. They only thing that they could rule out, however, was that Isabella was not a planned victim - she was just unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, because nobody would be stupid enough to kidnap a policeman's daughter.

**May 27th 2018. **

The blue SUV that neighbors had reported seeing became the main point of interest. The cameras at the gas station, where Isabella's bag was found, caught a car driving past that matched the description, and after zooming in onto the image, they managed to take note of the license plate. Police then took recordings from every security camera in that area of the town, and they saw the same car passing every one of them. They were caught driving past the Umpqua bank and again near a Thriftway supermarket. It all happened between 08:22 and 08:47. From the direction they were headed, it was clear that they were leaving town.

While running the plates, to Charlie's dismay, it turned out to be stolen. After losing the car on CCTV, that lead went cold. While Charlie had a gut feeling that his daughter was in that car, the thought of that footage being the last he might ever see of Isabella filled him with cold dread.

0-0

**From now on the story will be in 1stPOV, but this was just to help you get into the story. **

**Please let me know what you thought and I'll post chapter 1 as soon as I can. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Long A/N at the end. Enjoy!**

Hereafter

Chapter 1

**August 22nd 2018**

**Edward**

_"And now on KATU Morning News, we return to the story of twenty-four year old Isabella Swan who was kidnapped whilst on her way to work three months ago…"_

With a disgusted sigh, I shut off the television. This world can be such a horrible place, man. Whether it's a twenty-four year old woman, or a twenty-four month old baby, how someone's mind can bring them to harming anyone is simply beyond me. It all just seems to happen far too often these days.

Without the distraction from the news, I poured myself a coffee, added a drop of creamer, and then got stuck into my work for the day. I worked from home, for a computer company, which basically allowed me to work my own hours, just as long as I had the pile of jobs completed before a certain time every day. I wouldn't say I live a _secluded _life, I just live my own life. I've always preferred my own company, and working from home allows me to do that, but I also meet up with my brothers once a week and go on some dates (the dates are seldom, but I go on them from time to time).

I have company for the next two weeks though, because my parents have gone on vacation to California and had asked me to look after their dog, Nora, whilst they were away. Nora is a Hovawart - she looks like a cross between a German Shepard and a Labrador with fluffy ears like a spaniel. I never had a dog growing up, but when my little sister, Alice, finally flew the nest, my mother needed to fill that hole with something, and now Nora is the fourth child.

Hovawarts are known for their protective nature and how they are great watchdogs, which is clear to see when I get down to work and Nora sits at my feet the entire time, and watches me whenever I go somewhere. It could just be that she doesn't want to be alone, but I also think it's in her nature to keep an eye on people, and if anyone comes to the door who she doesn't know, God will they hear about it.

But Nora doesn't have to get through these three files, I did, and all before I had to leave to meet my brothers for coffee.

0-0

I live in Middleton, Oregon, and majority of my family live in Portland, so when it comes to getting lunch or a coffee we tend to meet half way. For example, today we planned to meet at a coffee shop in Durham. Emmett chose it so usually you should be worried when he makes the plans; but today he had done pretty well. We sat down with our drink of choice (mine was a double espresso - simple but effective) and caught up on whatever had happened in the last week.

Emmett worked for the Portland Police Bureau, so he always had a story to tell, but Jasper, my brother-in-law, worked as a History teacher at Catlin Gabel Middle School and his stories were never as interesting, especially as they were still on summer vacation.

It was during Emmett's description of the drug raid he was part of last week, that something behind my head had caught Jasper's attention. I turned to check out the television on the wall and saw that once again, the news was broadcasting the disappearance of Isabella Swan.

"I wonder what happened to her…" Jasper mused, mostly to himself.

In response to Jasper's words Emmett shrugged and said, "Dude, I don't think it's going to have a good outcome."

"You don't?" I asked.

"I don't know… I've never had a good feeling from the start."

Jasper turned his attention from the news report, back to Emmett. "You helped search for her, right?"

"Yep," Emmett threw back the last of his coffee, "we were all recruited to search certain areas but nothing has ever been discovered. Which is why I'm preparing myself for the worst news. It's almost like she vanished, y'know?"

"What do you think happened, then?" I don't like discussing this sort of thing - it angers me too much, but I couldn't help but get involved.

Emmett huffed and scratched at one eyebrow, "my best bet… probably sex trafficking, or being sold for… illegal purposes."

_Fucking sick. How anyone could do that, I'll never understand. _

Once again Jasper had tuned out to watch the news article. It showed recordings of searches and CCTV footage of a car that they were interested in at the beginning of the investigation. It also showed pictures of Isabella to help jog peoples' memories. Majority of the pictures shown were of Isabella smiling a very timid, shy smile and with dark hair that fell behind her shoulders. She was pretty… unfortunately, too pretty. Not that I'm clued up on sex trafficking, but I can imagine that a petite girl with a pretty face and long brown hair was right up their alley. Who knows, the son of a bitch probably got a kick from her shy side too.

"She's been missing for, what, three months? And nothing has been discovered apart from that car?"

Emmett stretched out his back. "Nope, which is why I get a bad feeling. Sure that car was spotted, but we don't know for certain that she was in there. It's like the guy has done this before, perhaps many times before, and he knows exactly how to disguise things and hide from the world."

I frowned, "a guy?"

"Well, we don't know who it is! But I'd say there's a very high chance it is a man we are looking for. Sometimes a husband/wife couple who are just as fucked up as each other, but it's seldom that a woman alone would be responsible for this. I mean, Isabella is not a child; she really is of no use to woman. Unless their only intention was to harm Isabella, in which case we'd no longer be looking for a person…"

_They'd be looking for a body. Fuck. _

"I'm getting another espresso," I stood from the table, "You guys want anything?"

"I'm good, brother."

"I've barely drank this one," Jasper gave a sheepish smile and picked up his mug. He was too invested with the news report, whereas I wanted to get far away from that topic. At least the news had moved on to the weather. We were expecting a heavy downpour later on which, when you live in the Pacific Northwest, isn't so much news as it is a permanent state of existence.

I had to distract myself and leave that table for a minute. This is exactly why I don't take part in this sort of situation, and also why I like to keep myself to myself - I'm known for getting far too involved, and it never ends well.

Fortunately, for me, when I returned with my second double espresso the conversation had changed to a completely different topic and I could relax without constantly worrying about a missing stranger.

0-0

My evening was rather non eventful.

I took Nora for her second walk of the day, finished off the last of my work and carried out any house duties that needed to be done. Sort out the ever-growing pile of washing, for example.

That evening I decided to turn in earlier than normal - my sleeping hadn't been great recently, and it was clearly effecting my mental health and overall mood in general. By ten o'clock I had shut everything off downstairs and let Nora outside for one last bathroom break. She tends to wander around for five minutes, do her business, and then I would hear a scratch at the door as her sign for me to let her back in.

I was upstairs when my suspicions first arose. I peered out of the bedroom window which overlooked the back yard, but Nora couldn't be seen wandering around. I brushed it off as nothing and thought that maybe she was simply out of eyeshot.

After ten minutes, I went downstairs to await the scratch at the door and that was when I heard the barking. Nora very rarely barks; only if she's trying to catch someone's attention, or as protection.

"Nora?" I called out the back door. Perhaps something had spooked her and she was trying to scare it away.

But she never responded to my calling.

"Nora?" I tried again, but this time a little louder. "Fuck's sake," I sighed, throwing a jacket over my bare chest and pyjama pants, and shoving my feet into a pair of sneakers that sat by the door. The downpour that the weather report stated had started an hour ago, and the last thing I wanted was to go outside.

With the torch on my phone I shone the light across the yard in hope to catch Nora somewhere. I called her name again, and this time she did respond. In a major way.

The large, black dog was seen sprinting towards me barking loudly. Barking for attention.

"What's going on, hey? You're getting me all worried." I tapped my thigh to call her to attention, but she only continued to bark. Nora stepped back towards the way she came from, almost as if she was telling me to follow her. "Nora come on; it's fucking horrible outside."

Instead of getting me to listen, Nora sounded one last loud bark and ran off. With a loud sigh, I followed. Around the side of the house that lead to the front yard and down, passed the drive way, and onto the road.

That was when I saw it.

The reason for the calling.

Why she was so keen for me to follow.

Because stood, sheltering beside my car, was a girl.

Scared as hell and dressed in clothing that nobody should be wearing in such awful conditions - a baggy t-shirt, gym shorts, and sneakers that looked far too big for her feet.

It wasn't until I took a good look at her face that I instantly recognized who she was.

"Help me." Isabella pleaded.

0-0

**Thank you to everyone who left a comment on the prologue - I'm so invested in this story and you made it all so worth while. **

**I have been asked a few questions, and so I thought I would answer a couple here. So, in regards to an upload schedule I cannot give you one right now - my days off work change all the time, so I never know when I'll have time to write them. Also, yes, this is an E/B story… However, I know some of you don't like knowing if it's a HEA or not, so that one I will keep quiet for now. Just… trust me. **

**If you'd like to keep updated on what is happening or possible character profiles then please come and join my Facebook page - RosieRathbone FanFiction. **

**Chapter 2 is already in the works, and so if you enjoyed this one please let me know and I'll be sure to post it as soon as possible! Let me know what you thought! **


	3. Chapter 2

Hereafter

Chapter 2

**August 22nd 2018**

**Edward**

Without a seconds thought I brought Isabella into the house before she caught pneumonia. My mind was running a million miles a minute. _She was here, she was alive… but barely. Where has she come from? How long has she been in the cold for? Who did this to her? Who hurt this terrified young woman? What do I do? Do I phone Emmett? Do I phone 911? What do I do?!_

Isabella stood as still as a statue, clearly unsure of what to do. She had her arms clenched around her middle, and she didn't look anywhere apart from the carpet beneath her feet. Her hair hung lifeless down her back, and it was clear from the state that she was in, that she hadn't been allowed to even bathe in a very long time. Maybe even since the day she was taken. I wanted to offer her a shower, but I knew that swabs would have to be taken and I didn't want any DNA evidence to get washed away.

"Here, come and take a seat." I plumped up the couch pillows and cleared away the books and paperwork that sat there. "I'll get you a blanket and I'll put the fire on." In better lighting I could see that her clothes were completely soaked through. I wanted to get her some fresh clothing, but I waited until I had spoken to Emmett before doing anything like that.

Isabella did as I said, but she didn't mutter a single word.

She was obviously used to obeying every command without question.

"Can I get you anything? A glass of water, or something to eat perhaps?"

Nothing. Not even a nod of the head.

Without an answer, I headed to the kitchen to get some water and any food that I could get my hands on. It must have been a long time since she had last eaten a proper meal, so I don't think it would matter what I gave her.

"Isabella?" I crouched down beside her - the last thing I wanted to do was intimidate the poor thing. "Isabella, are you okay?"

Again, nothing.

"I don't want you to be scared; I won't hurt you. I promise. I just want to make sure that you're okay."

Nora had appeared beside me and without any commands she sat beside Isabella and simply watched her. Protected her.

I stroked Nora's back, mainly as a 'thank you' for everything she had done. "This is Nora," I started, "She is my parents' dog and she is the reason why you are safe. She is exceedingly gentle. You don't need to be scared of her."

I caught Isabella's glance move over to the giant dog at her feet. "Do you like dogs?" I asked, in hope that she would say something. But again, nothing. That was when I chose my chance to call Emmett - he was probably the best person to call in this situation.

I knew Isabella could hear me; she was simply too scared to respond, so I decided then to keep her up to date with everything I did. "I'm going to call my brother, he works for the police; he'll know how to help you."

Emmett kept his phone on him at all hours of the day, so he answered within a few short rings. _"Hey there, brother."_

"Emmett." I answered, my voice laced with concern. "I need your help."

_"Why what's up? What's going on?" _

How did I say this? How do I tell him that the girl who is all over the news, who we spoke about just hours previous, was currently sitting in my living room. I just had to say it. Rip off the band aid.

"I've found Isabella Swan. She turned up at my house just five minutes ago."

From the other end of the line a faint scuffle could be heard, I assumed it was him jumping out of bed or throwing some clothes on.

_"What the fuck are you talking about? She's there? How?"_

I replayed the situation to Emmett, how Nora found her and brought me outside. "Look, she is absolutely terrified. I need you here, right now, but please do not bring anyone else with you. At least not until she's calmed down."

_"Okay… I'll need to inform the station, but I'll come alone. For now I need you to lock every single door and keep all the curtains closed; for all you know, that guy could be out looking for her, and you do not want them to see her sitting in your living room." _

I followed his instructions and checked every door and window, "okay, done."

_"Great. Right, I'm in the car now and I'll drive on blue lights so I'll be with you soon. Does she need any sort of medical attention? Does she appear injured at all?" _

I stole a look at Isabella. It was almost as if she was made of stone, because she hadn't moved a single muscle since the second she arrived. "I don't know, she's clearly in a state of shock, but for physical injuries, I couldn't give you an honest answer."

_"Can you ask her?" _

I rolled my eyes, because I knew that that wouldn't work, but I tried anyway. "Isabella…" I spoke softly, "I'm on the phone to my brother and he needs to know if you need to seek medical attention."

For the first time in the ten minutes that she had been in my house, I noticed a reaction. Her eyes, sad and brown, began to tear up. A sudden rush of concern and care filled my entire body. At that moment I would have done anything to help her.

"What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

_"What's wrong? Is she okay?" _I was so distracted that I had forgotten Emmett was still on the phone.

"Er… I don't know. I asked her if she needed medical attention and she just started crying. It's the first response I've had, Emmett."

Isabella's tears dropped one by one, slowly down her blushed cheeks. Nora, sensing the change in mood, lifted her head to rest it upon Isabella's lap. I tried asking again why she was crying, but I didn't get an answer.

_"Okay," _Emmett broke the silence once again, _"I'll be fifteen minutes. Do not answer the door to anyone. I'll phone you when I'm outside." _

I refrained from asking Isabella any more serious questions, only because I knew that she would have a lot directed at her in the next few days, so instead I decided to introduce myself properly and keep her distracted with a simple conversation. It may have been one-sided, but anything was better than sitting in silence.

"My name is Edward, by the way - I forgot to tell you that." I noticed that her gaze never moved from the dog who lay at her feet. "I don't like nicknames - names like Ed or Eddie make my skin crawl. Do you have any nicknames?"

I realized then that that question may have been a trigger, her abductor may have given her a nickname, but to my astonishment she whispered a word. Her voice was low and full of sadness, but she spoke! "Bella."

"Bella? That's a beautiful name. Would you prefer me to call you Bella?"

Nothing.

So I rambled on some more. "My brother is on his way now - his name is Emmett, and some people describe him as a giant teddy bear, so you have absolutely no reason to be scared. But until he arrives, is there anything else that I can get you? Or do for you?"

I looked over the tiny, terrified shell of a person and spotted her hands clenched together so tightly that her fingers looked as if they were about to snap. I wish I knew what was going on inside her head; I wish I could help her. I knew that her world would never been the same again, even if her abductor is caught and thrown behind bars for the rest of their miserable existence, Isabella (_or, Bella, I suppose) _will live in fear for the rest of her life, and that thought alone filled me with so much sadness and anger.

"I think Nora deserves a treat for helping you this evening."

"Nora…"

Every time Bella spoke I had to stop myself from jumping up out of my seat and cheering. "That's right. My parents will be so proud when they hear what she did."

"Nora…"

Before I could say any more my phone came to life with Emmett's text message: **'outside'**, is all it read.

"That's my brother here. I'm just going to answer the door."

As I stood up another tiny word was whispered. "Edward." It sounded like a plea - begging me not to leave her.

Hearing her say my name in such a desperate tone literally made me want to cry, and I never cry.

"I promise you I will be thirty seconds. Nora won't leave your side." I practically ran to the door, unlocked it, and ushered Emmett inside. He wasn't dressed in his cop uniform, instead he wore a casual pair of denim jeans and a sweater.

"Have you managed to get any more out of her?" He asked me in a hushed voice.

"I know that her nickname is 'Bella', but I didn't ask her anything too intrusive." I spotted the bag that Emmett carried and the large red cross on the side. A first aid bag.

I took Emmett through to the living room, where he took over the job. In the handful of seconds that I had left Bella alone, her hand had moved from balled up against her stomach, to lying softly on top of Nora's head.

"Hey there, Little One. We've been looking for you." Emmett sounded like he was talking to a child; soft and gentle. A smile spread out across his face as a way of telling Bella that she has nothing to fear.

"Edward."

"Edward is here, would you like him to stay with you?" Emmett was all but sitting on the floor in front of her.

She never responded, but from the way she said my name, I knew her answer anyway. I retook my original seat and reassured her that I wasn't going anywhere.

"My name is Emmett, and for right now it's just going to be me, you, and Edward. Okay? I'm going to look after you the best I can, but I'll also need to ask you a few questions, Isabella. Is that okay with you?"

Bella nodded. Blink and you would have missed it, but it was definitely a nod.

"Thank you. First of all I just need to know whether you need any medical assistance urgently, or whether that can wait until later?"

Bella shook her head. I wondered why she could answer Emmett's questions, but not my own, but then I remembered that she grew up watching her Dad do the same job, so she probably knew that Emmett desperately needed answers.

"Good. That's good." Emmett adjusted the way he sat before bringing over his bag and unzipping it. "Now, I'm pretty sure you already knew this, but I will need to take some samples and swabs to collect any sort of DNA evidence. It'll simply be from your clothing, skin and mouth. Am I allowed to do that?"

Again, she nodded, but hesitantly.

From the bag, Emmett brought out a smaller bag which, when opened, revealed a selection of plastic vials, and a bottle with a clear liquid inside. He pulled out a pair of blue vinyl gloves and some plastic baggies.

"Thank you so much for allowing me to do this. I know it isn't easy." Emmett slipped on the gloves, popped off the cap of the plastic bottle, and then opened one of the vials. A cotton swab was attached to the lid. Carefully he poured a small drop of the liquid onto the end of the swab, and rubbed it in a circular motion onto a tiny part of Bella's forearm. Once he was done, he placed the swab back into the vial and then put it into one of the baggies. With a marker he quickly scribbled a word onto the bag.

Emmett repeated this with separate swabs until he had collected samples from every place he mentioned.

"We will need to collect some more later, but I'm finished with that for now."

Emmett didn't explain the additional tests in much detail - he didn't need to. We all knew that he would need to get a doctor to perform the more detailed and uncomfortable examinations that were sadly necessary in cases such as these.

From the expression on my brother's face, I could tell that he was thinking carefully about how to word his next question.

"Bella, I need you to tell me what happened. Can you help me?"

0-0

**Fuck, I had about six cigarettes whilst writing that. Just to make you all aware, any chapters that discuss sensitive subjects will come with a trigger warning.**

**I you'd like to see a picture of the shining star, Nora, then head on over to my Facebook page, RosieRathbone FanFiction. **

**Thank you reading, please let me know what you thought. **


	4. Chapter 3

**Possible trigger warning - panic attack. **

Hereafter

Chapter 3

**August 22nd/23rd 2018.**

**Edward.**

_"Bella, I need you to tell me what happened. Can you help me?"_

I don't know what it was about that question, but something flicked a switch inside Bella's head. The second it left Emmett's mouth all hell broke loose. It began with a tremor in her feet which quickly worked its way up her entire body, it's almost like you could see its progression. Once the tremor had reached her chest, Bella's breathing became short and labored; she was hyperventilating. Her hands scratched and pulled away at the sodden shirt, like she was trying to take the imaginary pressure off her chest. Tears streamed down her face and I could tell that she wanted to scream and cry out, but the labored breathing wouldn't let her.

Emmett jumped into action. He managed to take both of her hands into his own and spoke in a smooth, calm voice. "Bella… look at me, Bella." After her head had stopped thrashing around, she managed to take control and followed Emmett's every word. "That's good; you're doing good. Now, I need you to take long, deep breaths. In through your nose… and out through your mouth… Copy me - don't think about anything else. The fear in your mind will pass. Just focus on your breathing…"

It must have only been about five minutes since the panic attack had started but already there was a major change in her breathing. "Excellent," Emmett complimented her hard work, "See, it's passing now." He continued to talk her through the exercise for a couple more minutes until Bella's eyes began to shut and her head lolled back against the couch. Although the panic attack had subsided, I knew from experience that we had to be careful not to let it creep back up again. Whenever I had had one in the past I always looked for food afterwards. The adrenaline killed off any energy that I had and I needed to bulk that back up again quickly. Dark chocolate always helped me, and I made sure to always keep some in the kitchen in case an attack started.

I ran to the kitchen, found the chocolate and returned to the living room all before Bella had even noticed I was gone. "Hey," I tapped her shoulder lightly. Her watery brown eyes looked up at me. "Do you want some chocolate? It'll make you feel better, I promise." Bella didn't refuse the offer, so I broke off a small square and handed it over. She hesitated before finally eating it.

"Has this happened to you before?" Emmett asked.

The tremor was still to leave. Bella's feet tapped against the floor and she held her shaking arms close to her chest. "Nora…" She whispered.

"Do you want Nora?" I said.

"Edward."

Whenever Bella said my name, in that broken voice, my chest tightened. _Who could do something so tragic to someone so innocent? _"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Nora…"

When the attack had started Nora was quick to move out the way, probably so that she didn't get kicked by Bella's legs, but on hearing her name she returned to her original position. I thought my next move out briefly in my head, wondering whether it was the right thing to do, but at the same time anything that could help Bella was the right thing to do.

"Nora, up." I called, tapping the back of the couch. In one simple move the large dog jumped onto the couch next to where Bella sat. "Good girl. Lie." She made herself settled. This is what I love about dogs - they always know when something isn't right, and they never hesitate in trying to help a person in need. Bella is a complete stranger to Nora (to all of us), however she was hurt and Nora was clever enough to realize that and help in anyway that she could. Bella threw her arms around Nora's neck and rested her head upon it. The comfort you get as a child with your favorite plushie, is the same that Bella got with Nora. She felt safe, she felt protected.

It didn't take long for Bella to fall asleep. The poor thing must have been exhausted, and the panic attack really took it out of her. I didn't want to leave the room mainly because I didn't want her to be alone when she woke up, Emmett however muttered something about making a phone call. He excused himself to the kitchen. Luckily I had plenty of books lying around, so I picked up the first one my hands touched and started reading.

Five minutes later Emmett had finished his call. He stood at the door of the living room where he called me over with the flick of his hand. "So, I've informed the station of what is going on and one of them is going to get in contact with Forks Police Station and try and get a hold of Bella's dad."

"That's great." We kept our voices hushed so as not to wake her.

Emmett scratched away at the scruff on his jawline. "Are you good, for now, if she stays here? I don't think it's right to move her around from place to place and it could be five-six hours until her dad arrives and even when he arrives he's not going to instantly run her back home."

My honest answer was that she could stay as long as she wanted to. "Absolutely. I mean, you know my house isn't huge, but if she needs to spend another night here then I can find the room. Probably space for her dad too, if he wanted it."

Emmett clapped my shoulder in gratitude, "Thanks, brother. Also I'm not sure when Mom and Dad get back, but you might need to keep Nora for a bit longer if Bella is still here." His words held humor; it was good to get some laughter out here in this tense atmosphere.

"I'm also thinking I might need to get my own damn dog after this."

An hour later, the time was nearing midnight and apart from some stirring, Bella was still fast asleep, she clung onto Nora for dear life. Emmett made himself some food and a coffee, which I also enjoyed. It was going to be a long night. We were standing in the kitchen drinking said coffee when our attention was suddenly brought back to the real issue at hand.

"Edward! Edward!" Bella screamed from the other room.

Running through to the living room we found Bella sitting up on the couch darting her head in all directions trying to find me. "Hey, I'm here. I'm here." I crouched down and took her hands into mine. "Are you okay?"

She began to pant, and I hoped it wouldn't turn into anything more serious. "Edward." She breathed.

"I'm here. Emmett's here. You're safe."

"Emmett." Her eyes moved from mine to search for my brother. "Emmett."

"Hey." I scooted over so that Emmett could take my place. "You're okay now, right?"

Bella's lips began to tremble, "The Coven." She whispered so quietly that I barely managed to work out what she had said.

"What is The Coven, Bella?"

"The Coven. People. Bad people."

Oh fuck.

As much as I wanted to thank her and applaud her for being so brave, I also never wanted her to mention that name ever again. It seemed, (to me, anyway) that we were no longer looking for a single person, but a group of people.

Emmett scribbled down notes onto the notepad he brought out from his jeans pocket. "Can you tell me about The Coven?"

Bella shut down again. She had answered enough questions for now. Instead, her fingers got lost in Nora's silky black fur. Her comfort blanket.

"Bella?" I caught her attention after remembering what I had wanted to do when she first arrived. "Would you like some clean clothes? I mean, I only have mens' clothing, but at least it'll be clean and fresh?" She looked at the dirt stained t-shirt that still held damp patches from the rain. "That would make you feel better right? I'll see what I can find."

I hadn't even made it out of the room before she cried out my name in that heartbreaking voice. "I'm not going to be long - I'm just going upstairs to find some clothes, remember?"

"Edward."

Emmett laughed softly and said he would get the clothes for me. "Okay, I'm here."

"Stay."

If she wanted me to stay, then I was more than happy to stay.

0-0

The following few hours had a couple difficult moments - Nora needed to be let out, for example, and so we had to come up with a plan for that to happen without Bella having another panic attack. But overall things were slowly improving. We found some clean clothes, and her old ones were bagged up by Emmett for evidence. I also got Bella to eat a sandwich. She, obviously, wanted me to stay with her, and so on weak legs and with the support of Emmett, she joined me in the kitchen, watching my every move.

At two in the morning Emmett was informed by his colleagues that they had finally managed to get in contact with Charlie Swan and he was on his way here. The drive takes roughly four-five hours, but that was driving at the speed limit, which I couldn't imagine him following. Emmett had been instructed that Charlie had been given his number and that he would receive a call when he was outside, just like Emmett had done with me.

I was given the job in telling her the good news. "Bella," she was in her usual spot on the couch with Nora's head still on her lap. "Emmett has been able to get in touch with your dad, and so he's on his way here now to see you."

Once again Bella's eyes filled with fresh tears, but this time I knew they were happy tears. "Charlie."

"That's right, Charlie will be here very soon."

"You'll stay."

I couldn't work out if it was a question or a demand, so I replied with, "I can stay if you want me to, but you'll have your dad now."

"No. You'll stay."

0-0

There wasn't a single dry eye in the house when Charlie was reunited with his daughter. Emmett's wife, Rosalie, was currently expecting their first child and so I gathered things hit quite close to home for him. I also had to mask my own tears when Charlie lifted Bella straight up off the couch and pulled her in for the tightest hug that he could muster. "Oh, Bells, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this happened to you. But I can't explain how happy I am that you're okay."

"Charlie."

Without saying a word I managed to get Nora to sit beside me; I wanted to keep her out of the way for now. Miraculously she didn't think anything of Charlie coming into the house. She was probably tired like we all were - it was just before six in the morning, and apart from Bella's hour-long nap, none of us had had any sleep. As father and daughter reunited, Emmett left the room to phone Rosalie and keep her up to date with things, and I sent a brief message to work explaining that a situation had occurred and so I wouldn't be online today.

"Edward?" I turned away from my laptop to see Charlie Swan standing next to me. He looked as though he hadn't slept a wink in the entire three months that Bella had been missing. "Thank you so much for everything that you have done this evening. I, er, appreciate that you have gone out of your way to help Bella."

A lump had formed in my throat. "It's my pleasure. But I can't take all the credit - my dog is actually the real hero this evening." I brushed Nora's ears with my hand. "If it wasn't for her, I'd have gone to sleep being none the wiser."

Charlie smiled down at Nora, who still sat patiently beside me. "Even so, you brought her into your house and out of harm's way, and for that I'll be forever grateful."

"Chief Swan," Emmett broke the silence, "I was wondering if I could run a few things past you?" With his thumb he gestured towards the kitchen where they could talk privately. I assumed it was about 'The Coven', the one-word answers and whether Bella had a history of panic attacks

I returned to my seat beside the couch and Nora jumped back up so that she could sit beside Bella. "How are you feeling?" I asked, leaning in slightly.

Bella looked at me with tired eyes, but the fear behind them had gone, at last. "Charlie." She mumbled.

"Yep, Charlie is here. You can feel safe with him now."

Bella gazed down towards her knees, a slight frown formed in her brow. "Safe." It killed me to hear her say that word so unsurely. She may have only been missing for a few months, unlike some other cases you hear about, but whatever she had to face in that time was obviously so horrendous that she no longer understands the word 'safe'. She is sitting in a room with her own father, two policemen and an intimidating dog, yet she still has the fear that she is in danger.

"You are so, so safe. I promise you that. You are safe with your dad, you're safe with me, you're safe with Emmett, and you are most definitely safe with Nora. We won't let anybody hurt you again."

"Nora…" For the first time ever, a smile appeared on her face. That lump returned in my throat.

Unfortunately, no matter how sweet a situation could be, something always needs to pop it. Emmett and Charlie had finished their private conversation and from their expressions I knew they had come to a decision about what to do next.

Charlie sat in front of his daughter and took her hands in his own. His words were calm and smooth. "Bells, you understand that more… _tests_ need to happen, right? Okay, good. Well in order to do that we will need to take you to the local hospital where they have all the right equipment."

"No, no." Her head thrashed around from side to side, and more tears dropped down her face.

"I know it's hard, but there isn't much of an option."

"Nora."

"The dog will need to stay here, Bella. She can't come into a hospital." Charlie sounded as though he was getting frustrated, but I knew that he was frustrated at the situation; not at Bella. His daughter was in a bad way, and it must have angered him that whatever he needed to do to help her, would only end up hurting her.

"Edward."

"If you need me to be there, then I'll be there." I answered honestly.

"You can have whoever you want there, apart from the dog."

An idea came to mind, which may have made the situation easier. It might not work, but it was worth a try. "Why don't you take Nora's collar?" I suggested. "That way you can have a part of her with you?"

Like before with the panic attack, one word pushed Bella over the edge.

Her hands shook, her face turned a dark shade of crimson.

"No! Stop it! Stop it!"

Luckily it didn't escalate into anything serious this time, but it didn't take a genius to work out which word had set her off.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett open up his pad of paper. I could just make out the words that were written there.

_Can you help me? The Coven. Collar. _

0-0

**Same of you may know this, but I also suffer from panic attacks, and so I just based that off my own experience. Please don't come at me if you don't agree with the chocolate method - we all require different things after an attack. **

**Thank you again reading, remember to follow my Facebook group RosieRathbone FanFiction for information and pictures about this story.**

**Please let me know what you thought and whether you have any new ideas from those clues… **


	5. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all your love and support. It means the world. **

Hereafter

Chapter 4.

**August 23rd, 2018**

**Edward. **

Bella sat with Nora, her hands threaded in and out of her soft black fur, but like clockwork, every couple minutes I'd see her peer around the room just to check that we were all still there with her. The three of us - Emmett, Charlie and I - stood by the entrance of the room but again spoke in hushed tones so Bella couldn't hear us. We needed to discuss our next moves, and if she heard any mention of the word 'hospital' we'd have a tricky situation on our hands.

"Could we bring them here?" Emmett suggested, "At least then she can keep the dog next to her?"

Charlie scratched away at the graying hair on his head as he thought. "That is an option, of course, but I don't want to cause too much attention to the house. It's not unusual for there to be cop cars or doctors parked outside, but we don't know how long Bella walked for. It could have been a matter of minutes, in which case you want to keep a very low profile."

"What about a sedative?"

I looked at Emmett like he was mad. "Really? You think drugging her is the best option?"

He held up his hands in defeat, "It's either that, or you force her, screaming, into the back of a car where the conditions are only going to get worse. The sedative will calm her, not knock her out."

"That might be our only option…" Charlie mused. "Like you Edward, I'm not fond of the idea… but we might not necessarily have to sedate her. With enough reassurance it could be possible to get her there, and then if things turn ugly once we arrive we could think about that next step."

I was so busy working out the best solution in my head and wondering whether there was anything else that we could do, that I didn't realize Bella had called my name until Emmett tapped my arm. With a quick step, I wandered over to see what I could do to help.

"You okay?" I asked.

Her eyes darted around the room, "Edward," she whispered.

"I'm here. Are you okay?"

Bella's feet tapped away briskly on the floor and her legs squeezed together. She would open her mouth, take a deep breath, and then close it again. Almost as if she was trying to say something. "Whatever it is that you need to say, just say it. Please don't be afraid to talk." I had hoped that maybe with this constant reminder that it is okay to talk we could help her overcome the one-worded answers.

Bella repeated the mouth movement - open, pause, close.

"Do you need something?" Her hands slapped her thighs in anger. "Tell me the first letter."

"B… B…"

"Okay good, it begins with a 'B'. Now, think about the word that you want to say over and over in your head, and slowly say it out loud." I remember there was a kid in my class at school who had a speech impediment, and our teacher used this same technique on him. Who would have thought that twenty years later I'd remember that small detail.

"B… B… Bath…"

"Bathroom? Do you need the bathroom?"

She nodded her head frantically almost like she was seconds away from wetting herself. Again, my heart fucking broke. Was she used to holding it in until it was too late? Was she not allowed to say a single word throughout the entire thirteen week period?

I swallowed back my anger, because we had more important things to worry about, and held out my hands so that Bella could aid herself up. "Charlie, she needs to use the bathroom." As Charlie made his way over I whispered to Bella how proud I was of her for being so brave. He took over aiding his daughter and after I told them which room to go into, they made their steady way towards it.

"Y'know what I've been thinking?" Emmett broke the silence.

"What's that?"

"Have you noticed that in a scary situation Bella has no issue saying what she needs to say, but whenever we ask her a question the words get stuck? Like, she has a handful of words - your name, Nora, Charlie, and so on. - but everything else is like a foreign language to her."

"Yeah, I have noticed that. I have a few theories, but only she knows the real truth."

Emmett had his notebook out once again, "What are your theories?" He had his pen ready to jot down whatever I said.

I ran my hands through my hair, something that I did when I started to feel anxious. I really didn't want to voice my fears and make them seem real, but I knew I had to say them. "I think… I think she was made to stay silent all day, everyday - which is why she has such difficulty saying new words. But then the outbursts that we've witnessed…" _fuck, this is horrible. _"I think the outbursts are perhaps memories… that is what she said whenever the incident occurred."

"Sounds possible."

"When I found her outside the only thing she said was '_help me', _and in that case I think it was a fight or flight reaction - she knew she needed help and so her mute button switched off for a moment because otherwise she wasn't going to get the help that she desperately needed."

Emmett nodded, "I don't think that is too far from the truth. However it astonishes me that she's so comfortable around you, and even me."

I laughed lightly, "I wouldn't say she's comfortable around us just yet, but that is definitely something to ask Charlie about - was Bella are trusting person before this happened?"

"Yeah, but she's had months of abuse, dude. Even if she was a trusting person, any stranger would surely scare the crap out of her."

We had to stop our conversation there, as Charlie and Bella came back into the room, but it didn't stop my mind from running. No matter what her coping mechanism is, it's clear to see that Bella will need a lot of psychiatric help and counselling, and the 'Old Bella' that Charlie knew and loved would probably never return again.

0-0

A plan had been made. A plan to get her to the hospital as safely as possible.

Charlie admitted to me that he was astonished at how 'comfortable' Bella felt in my presence, almost as though she would believe anything I said. So with that in mind he had asked me to do the talking. Try and help her understand that this was not a dangerous situation, make her feel protected and hopefully she would trust us.

"I don't know how well that would work." I had admitted to him.

"Look, she can't have you leave the room right now. I know my Bells; I know how she works."

"But you're her _father, _she would trust you over anyone."

Charlie smirked, "It is because of that reason alone that I know you're the best person to do it. Bella also knows how I work - she wouldn't believe me for a second. You, however, are a different matter."

I knew instantly that it was not going to go well, and a tremor in my left thumb had begun which indicated that my anxiety was starting to build. It always flares up whenever I felt uneasy, or someone was in a position that I didn't enjoy - this one, for example. I had been taking medication for it since I was fourteen/fifteen, but I have no need to take it daily; only when I feel it creeping up on me. It is because of that, that I told Emmett I had to leave the room before we went anywhere. I needed to get my head together.

Bella seemed pretty relaxed with Nora and Charlie by her side, so I tried to slip away, but like every other time, she caught me. "I need to go upstairs briefly," I crouched down to her level, "I'll only be ten minutes. Plus, you have your dad and Nora here; you don't need me."

"Edward."

Without thinking, I slipped the watch off that was currently around my wrist and handed it over. "So the time right now is seven-twenty, correct?" Bella looked at the time to verify it for herself. "How about I promise to be back downstairs before it reaches seven-thirty?"

I didn't expect Bella to say anything - and she didn't - but she also didn't say my name as I stood up, so I chose that as my countdown starting. I took the stairs two at a time, and ran into the bathroom on my left. An empty glass sat on by the sink which I filled with water, and then from the top drawer I brought out the packet of Propranolol and popped one pink pill from the foil and swallowed it back. Bella need treatment, and she needed to get to the hospital. I had to get myself together; I couldn't be an anxious mess.

I ran into my bedroom to change my clothes into something other than pajama pants and a t-shirt, sprayed some Axe deodorant, before running back down the stairs. It took me a total of seven minutes, so I was back before my time was up. The smile that lit up Bella's face didn't go unnoticed. "Did I keep my promise?"

From behind Bella Charlie gave me a knowing look, to tell me it was time to get moving. I thought about what I was going to say and how to say it before asking Nora to step down from the couch. "Is it okay if I sit here?" I pointed towards the vacated seat. Bella didn't react negatively to my question, and so I sat down on the edge of the seat and at an angle just to keep my distance. I knew it was best to keep the atmosphere light so as not to get her worked up, which is why I started on a topic that Bella loved. "Nora is a good dog, isn't she?"

"Nora."

"She always knows how to make things better. When anything bad happens, she is always there for you." I took a deep breath… and went for it. "Do you know who else is always there for you?" Bella didn't respond. "Your dad," I smiled.

"Charlie." The word came out in a whisper.

"That's right. I'll also be there for you too, if you want that?"

"Edward."

"Yeah - if you want me there, for anything, then I will be. You can trust me when I promise something, remember?"

The next word that she mumbled was so quiet, that I barely heard it. "…Promise." I wanted to cry, I wanted to apologize, but most of all I wanted to say that everything was going to be okay when she got to the hospital, but that was the only promise that I couldn't keep.

"You're so brave," I started, "the improvement that I have seen in the ten hours that you have been here is incredible. Do you realize just how brave you are? Because you should." Another deep breath… "Now, Bella, I was wondering if I could suggest something? Do you think, to prove just how brave you are, that you could come with us to the hospital?"

She held her hands in a tight fist and tears pooled in her eyes once again. "No…"

"Nothing bad is going to happen, we won't leave your side for a second, and you'll soon be coming back here to see Nora."

"No…"

"I understand that you're scared, but I'm sure you know that this has to happen, right?"

"Edward."

"Yes?"

"Stay."

_Jesus Christ. I'm not the right person to do this. _

"Stay here?"

Like before, when Bella wanted to go to the bathroom, her mouth opened, closed, and then opened again before she managed to speak her first official sentence. "Stay… with me." She begged.

"Of course I'll stay with you. So will Charlie and Emmett."

"Promise."

I covered my heart with my hand. "I give you my word. You need to go to the hospital now, but everything else after that can happen wherever you want. Wherever you feel comfortable, and at your own pace."

After some more persuading, Bella hesitantly agreed. It was clear to see how terrified she was, and when Charlie lifted her into a cradle carry, her arms instantly went around his neck and didn't let go until we reached Emmett's car. I found one of my many hoodies for her to wear, partly because there was a chill in the air, but also because the baggy hood could be used as a way to stop people from seeing her face. We didn't want anyone to recognize her, and if Bella felt intimidated then at least she could hide away from the world.

The crying began the second the engine started, and it continued for the entire journey. Emmett had phoned ahead, so as we arrived someone was already waiting outside for us with a wheelchair, however Bella refused to be put down. Thankfully it wasn't a long walk to the doctors' office. When we arrived Emmett and I took the spare seats at one end of the room, whereas Charlie and Bella sat on the bed. She rested against her father for support.

Everything was going so well. The hospital had given Bella a health care adviser, who told us all to call her Abby, she was a lovely woman who clearly knew what she was doing. She helped Bella understand what was going to happen and what she was to expect from a physical examination. Abby needed to check her vitals, and had to look for any signs of internal injuries. The hardest part of the introduction was when Abby asked Bella whether or not she had been sexually assaulted by her abductors.

"Isabella, I know this isn't easy to answer, but I do need to know whether or not to carry out a forensic examination?"

I couldn't look anywhere apart from the floor beneath me. The sound of her sobbing filled the deathly quiet room. That gave Abby the answer she was looking for.

_I wouldn't say I'm a violent man… but what I wouldn't give to beat that guy to a pulp right now._

"Thank you, Isabella. I understand how difficult that must have been for you. I'll need to phone my colleague so that she can assist me with the test, her name is Brooke and she, like myself, is highly trained in this sort of situation. Are you okay with Brooke joining us? Or would you rather I do it by myself?"

Charlie answered the question for her; we all knew that Bella would not have been the one to do it. "I think it would be best if you carried out the exam yourself."

Bella stayed huddled close to Charlie's side. She was visibly shaking and tears continued to fall. He had a protective arm around his daughter, but I knew, from the look on his face, that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't protect her from everything.

Abby broke the silence, "If you would prefer for me to do it by myself that is absolutely fine. I'll need to phone Brooke and ask her to bring the kit to me, but she will not enter the room. She will stand at the door, hand it over, and leave. Is that okay?"

"Is that okay, Bells?" Charlie tried desperately to get Bella to say something.

All she said was, "Nora."

"Once this is over with you can go and see Nora."

"Edward."

My head perked up at the sound of my name. I sent her a comforting smile, "I'm here. Promise, remember?"

As this was all going on, Abby had phoned her colleague for the kit and had started getting equipment ready. The evidence that Abby collected here would go with swabs that Emmett took late last night. Within a couple of minutes there was a knock at the door. A whimper broke free from Bella, but Abby reassured her that it was only Brooke.

Turned out that the reassurance was not enough, because even though Brooke didn't walk into the room, something flicked a switch inside Bella's head. Within seconds of the door being opened and Bella had caught a glimpse of the lady on the other side, she had turned into a crying, screaming mess of emotions.

"Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry!"

Charlie pulled his daughter in close to hide her from whatever it was that had made her react this way, and as I looked towards the door all I saw was a lady in a white coat, with long flowing red hair walk away. Something about Brooke must have reminded Bella of her dreadful experience.

Instead of sitting beside her, Charlie sat up from the bed so that he could stand in front of Bella. "Calm down, deep breaths. It's not real." He soothed. "You're safe." Like before with the panic attack, Charlie helped Bella get her breathing under control before another episode began. I desperately wanted to go over and help, in which ever way I could, but I knew it was best if Charlie did this by himself. Once the hyperventilating had stopped, Bella fell into her father's arms; her body wracked with sobs.

"What was it about that lady that scared you, Isabella?" Abby asked, assumably to add to their notes.

"No… No…"

"'No', what?"

All of a sudden it seemed as though Bella was in a trance, like she was reliving her nightmare. Her words were cold and full of fear, it was the longest sentence we had heard her say, and it gave us the biggest lead so far.

"No, Victoria, please. I'm sorry! I won't do it again!"

0-0

**Like with the chocolate, I take Propranolol every day - I didn't want to get anything wrong, so I stuck with what I knew.**

**If you haven't already, then make sure to join my Facebook page RosieRathbone FanFiction so that you can keep up to date with everything.**

**Thank you again for reading, what did you think? **


	6. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry for the slight delay - I had some mental health moments and a long week at work. **

Hereafter

Chapter 5.

**August 23rd, 2018.**

**Edward.**

Despite how well Bella was doing up until Brooke came to the door, it was decided by Charlie that the best option was to sedate her in order to get the test completed. She was far too upset, scared and vulnerable to agree to anything, and this needed to be done. Her sniffs and whimpers were heartbreaking to listen to, and as the sedative began to work, Charlie laid her down onto the bed. A seat was moved up to the head of the bed in order for Charlie to sit beside Bella throughout the entire process. It was harrowing to watch - one of the hardest things I had ever witnessed.

Before the physical exam could take place, Abby had to check Bella for any visible injuries, or signs of something more severe. We hadn't noticed anything, but that was because the clothes she wore hid the real truth. Bella's back and sides were riddled in bruises and marks of all shapes and sizes. Some were healing, some were old, and some were very, very new. My entire body prickled in goosebumps and my hands shook as the anger set in. I didn't even want to know how Charlie felt.

Abby gently pulled the shirt back into place and helped Bella roll over onto her back again. "Do you have a camera?" She asked Emmett.

"I have my phone. I can transfer the pictures." With a heavy sigh, Emmett pushed himself up from the seat. The sign of physical abuse hit home for Emmett - it was the reason he became a cop in the first place - so I knew this was hard for him to watch. I sat, feeling useless, as Emmett snapped pictures of every mark on Bella's body. Abby mentioned that the damage to Bella's back and sides played a vital role in her weakness and difficulty moving, and that there was a high chance that she was malnourished and was suffering muscle loss due to the conditions in which she undoubtedly had to survive. Abby took a blood test in order to be certain.

A curtain was pulled around the bed for the forensic exam, which I was more than grateful for. Even though she was sedated, Bella continued to sob. I hated every single second of it. She had barely been in my life for twelve hours, yet I would have done anything to stop the mental pain she was currently experiencing. Every time that she cried, screamed, and even shouted, I wanted to find a way to make it all stop. I wanted to find this 'Victoria' lady and make her suffer the same pain, but ten times worse. A life in a prison cell should help with that.

By the time we left the hospital Bella still felt the effect of the sedative. As before, Charlie carried her to the car and held her during the entire ride back to my house. Nobody spoke, the only noise came from Bella's sad sniffles.

Nora greeted us excitedly when we walked through the door. Bella had fallen asleep in the car, so Charlie walked her straight through to the living room to continue her sleep on the couch, I was sure she would be happy to see Nora when she woke up.

In all honesty, sleep didn't sound like a bad idea - I had lost count how many hours I had been awake for. Our bodies were running on autopilot. Emmett was used to working on little sleep, so he mentioned heading home to see Rosalie but that he would return later. I knew that this morning was hard for him, he needed to see his wife. I told Charlie to make himself comfortable and that he could help himself to anything from the kitchen. Then, after letting Nora out in the back yard, I made my way upstairs and collapsed on to my bed; shoes on and everything. I was asleep within seconds.

0-0

It had just past midday when I woke up - I had been asleep for a little more than two hours. The reason for my wakening came in the form of a scream that seemed to fill the entire house. Without thinking I was up off my bed and running downstairs. Charlie was seen sitting on the floor by the couch trying to console Bella, but she continued to scream and scream. Nora had even made herself known by sitting beside Charlie, but nothing seemed to work.

"Look at me, Bells, look at me. It's not real - none of it is real." No matter how hard Charlie tried, it seemed as though his words couldn't filter through.

"Can I do anything to help?" I asked as I crept towards them.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do."

With a better view I saw that Bella's eyes were wide open and bloodshot. From the way she stared, it was almost as if she was in a trance again and that none of us existed.

"Bella," Charlie tried again, "I'm here Bella, I'm right here. Look at me." All of a sudden the screaming stopped. Her body shook as Bella came back to the real world again. She looked from Charlie, to Nora, and back again, before a sob rippled from her and she collapsed into herself. "Ssh, you're okay; you're okay." I watched as Bella popped one thumb into her mouth and found comfort once again.

Charlie delicately placed the blanket over her sleeping frame and then collapsed back onto his seat with a sigh.

"Was that the first time she had woken up?" I asked.

"Yeah… pulled me right out from my sleep and everything." It was no wonder given the volume of her scream.

I was exhausted - mentally and physically - but if I went back upstairs I knew I wouldn't have gotten any sleep, the fear that it would happen again was too much. Instead I went into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee. My stomach rumbled loudly, and so as the coffee dispensed, I fixed together a bowl of cereal and a bowl of food for Nora too. I found the two largest mugs that I owned and filled them practically to the top before taking one through to Charlie. "I don't know if you take anything with it?"

"As long as it's strong, I couldn't give a rat's ass what goes in it."

With a slight laugh I returned back to the kitchen where I opened up my laptop to check any new emails -I had informed work that I wouldn't be online today, but I wanted to double check they had received my notice. They had, and I had received a reply simply saying to inform them when I'd next be available. I browsed the internet briefly incase I had missed anything important, but the news held nothing of interest. My main concern was seeing Bella's face plastered across every news site, but thankfully nobody had spotted her just yet.

As I was shutting down my laptop, my phone began to vibrate loudly against the wooden surface of the breakfast bar. _Mom, _it read on the screen.

"Hello?"

_"Edward, Sweetheart, I hope we haven't caught you at a bad time?" _

Given the fact that Bella wasn't screaming the house down, it seemed like the perfect time.

"No, no. I'm not busy."

_"Perfect! We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay, and that Nora is behaving herself?" _It was crazy how my mother's voice brought a slither of light into the suddenly dark events.

"We're, er… all doing great."

My mother knew me better than anyone, and she could smell bullshit like a shark can sense blood. _"Edward…"_

There was no way I could tell her what was happening, not only would she worry unnecessarily, but she would also rearrange all of their plans to get the next flight home. And the last thing Bella needs is for my parents to barge through that front door. "Honestly mom," I reassured her. "I haven't slept much recently so my body is taking a while to catch up with my brain."

_"What have we told you about that? Sleep is vital."_

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." I may be twenty-nine, but Esme will always have that power over me. Instead of a continuous lecture, I changed the subject. "So, when did you say you were coming home again?"

_"The 28th - in about five days or so." _Had I really been looking after Nora for a week already? _"Why do you ask?"_

"No reason - I couldn't remember which day you said, that's all." Shit…

_"And you are still good to collect us from the airport, correct?" _

Double shit…

Not only did we have limited time with Nora, we also had to think of a way that I could leave the house for hours without Bella breaking down. Fuck.

_"Edward?" _Esme spoke through the phone to catch my attention.

"Sorry; my mind is playing catch-up, remember? Er, yeah, it should be fine to get you from the airport."

_"Excellent! Oh and I -"_

All of a sudden a loud cry began to filter through from the living room, any second now and my secret would have been found out. "Look, mom, I've really got to go. But I'll see you at the airport. Okay, bye! Love you!" I hung up the phone before Bella's wailing could be heard.

0-0

Bella slept on and off until roughly five o'clock that evening. Charlie and I weren't so lucky. We dozed off on our chosen seats, but it was never a solid nap. During the afternoon I decided to make some food for us, which was exactly when I remembered that I had nothing in the house and my original plan for today was to get that fixed. That was, until all of this started and food was the last thing on my mind.

"Does Bella have a favorite food?" I asked, scribbling the tip of a pen onto the back of an old letter to double check that it actually worked.

"Strawberries." Charlie had a blissful smile on his face, almost like he was picturing an old memory. "Whenever she would stay with me as a kid, I always had to have two punnets of the stuff on her arrival, otherwise there would have been hell to pay."

I laughed lightly. I obviously had no idea the sort of person Bella was before this all happened, but from Charlie's memory it made her sound like she used to be a feisty thing. And now that has all changed… Shaking my head of my negative thought, I wrote 'strawberries' onto the paper. "Any particular meal? Y'know, something a bit more filling?"

Charlie thought of his answer until he was certain. "Chilli. Chips on the side."

I add that to the list. "Anything you'd like me to get?"

Charlie looked at me with a smug grin. "Beer. Lots of beer. If I was a smoker, I bet I'd be on my second deck by now." I had come to realize that he was a very laid back kind of guy. When shit got serious, he would act appropriately, but when things calmed down he would also take that time to relax.

Confirming that I had my wallet and keys, I shoved the paper into my jeans pocket and reassured Charlie that I shouldn't be long at all. Middleton is a very small area, which had it's advantages when the convenience store was only a ten minute drive. I ran around the aisles collecting everything on my list, and picked two cases of the first beer I laid hands on - Charlie never mentioned a specific type, and as long as it held an alcohol content, I don't think it really mattered. I debated getting a drink for Bella, but, first of all I didn't know what she liked, and most importantly water was probably the best thing for her right now. I didn't want to fill her body with sugary drinks and chemicals.

I was home forty minutes after I had left. Luck must have been on my side, because Charlie said that Bella hadn't even steered in the time that I was gone. The fresh food I bought went straight into the fridge, including the pizzas I had picked up. Charlie hadn't asked for any food, but, I mean, he looks like a beer and pizza type of guy - I was sure a meat feast would go down a treat.

I took one can of beer from it's packaging and put the other eleven cans along side the pizza. "I got you Rainier. I don't know if it's any good, 'cause I don't drink… but… I dunno." I stammered.

Charlie wiped his hands on his plaid shirt before accepting the can with a broad smile. "Vitamin R! Son, it's almost like you _know _me_." _

I filled a bowl with some strawberries for Bella and placed them on the table in front of the couch for when she woke up, and then finally took my seat again. A tired Nora plodded over to my feet. "Hey," I ruffled her ears. "Good girl."

At five o'clock, when Bella woke up, we were astonished that she never woke up with a scream. Her thumb had stayed planted in her mouth the entire time. "Hey, Bells, how are doing, Honey?" With weary eyes she looked around the room to make sure no-one else was in the room apart from us. That was when she spotted the strawberries on the table.

"Edward got you some strawberries. Take one." Charlie shuffled closer to the edge of his seat where he was able to move the bowl closer towards her.

Bella imitated a sloth as her arm slowly, very slowly, reached out and picked up a piece of the fruit by the stem. Throughout the entire process, she had an expression on her face, almost as if she thought she was doing something wrong and didn't want to get caught. Either that, or she was scared that someone was going to take the food away from her.

"You're doing great." I smiled. I couldn't explain the feeling that rushed through me as I watched Bella take the tiniest of nibbles from the tip of the strawberry, and then another… and another… "Is that good?"

She looked over at me. Her lips had a red tint around them from the juice of the strawberry. "Edward."

"Yeah?"

Even from where I sat I could see the heavy swallows that she took as she found the confidence to talk. "Th… thank you."

Without warning, my eyes glassed over with a sheen of tears. "You are very welcome."

0-0

I needed to thank my mother for teaching her children how to cook. She wanted Alice, Emmett and I to grow up with the ability to cook for our families. If it wasn't for that, and for the trial and errors in the kitchen, I wouldn't have had a chance in hell when it came to making Bella's chilli. Again, like the drinks, I didn't want to buy a packaged chilli because I didn't know what went into that, but if I made it from scratch then at least I could control everything about it. The heat being the main issue - I didn't want to add any chillis which could essentially harm her weakened body.

Charlie aided Bella up from the couch and into the kitchen so that she could stand and watch as the pot boiled. He supported his daughter with his arm loosely around her middle so as to not irritate the bruises. "Do you like to cook?" I asked. Partly as a conversation starter, but when I made some sandwiches last night she wanted to watch me make those as well.

"Bella is a great cook. I wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her meals, right Bells?"

"Oh yeah? Maybe you could teach me something one day?" I smiled, to show that I wasn't being completely serious. But I couldn't lie to myself - whenever Bella felt strong enough, I would love nothing more than a cooking lesson.

"Edward."

"Yeah?"

"Promise."

"I like that promise."

0-0

Emmett must have some sort of sixth sense, because he appeared the second the pizzas were brought out of the oven. "Oh yeah, food!" He cheered, stole a slice, and curled it into his giant mouth. "I'm wasting away over here." Bits of pizza flew from his mouth as he spoke.

With disgust written all over my face and a roll of my eyes, I continued cutting the pizza. "I swear you were adopted."

"Sorry, baby brother." He curled his arm around my neck and pretended to constrict it. "Mom showed me the evidence; she would never lie to me."

As much as Emmett can annoy me, and how his mannerisms make my skin crawl, it was a nice change to have his child-like behavior to cut the atmosphere. "How's Rose?" I asked of my sister-in-law.

"Yeah, yeah, she's good. She offered to come and help, so maybe when Bella feels more comfortable. I dunno, a female figure might help her, or it could make her flip again like that 'Brooke/Victoria' chick."

_Yeah, Victoria… we were still to talk about her. _

We'll wait for now, but Victoria was definitely our next conversion starter once Bella felt up to talking… or, however she wanted to communicate.

I carried the pizzas through to the living room and Emmett brought the bowl filled with Nora's food so that she could join us.

"Hey, Little One." Emmett crouched beside Bella who was taking the tiniest of spoonfuls from her chilli. "Did you miss me?" His childish grin made Bella smile.

"Emmett… gone."

"Yeah, I needed to go home and see my wife. But I'm back now."

The sound of Bella dropping her spoon into the ceramic bowl shattered around the room. We all tuned in to look at her, even Nora put her eating on hold. Like before, Bella stared at the wall before her with a distant look. "Wife…" She mumbled. "Wife… Wife… Wife…"

Putting his pizza down, Charlie stood to sit beside his daughter. "Bella…"

"Wife…"

"Listen to me, Bells. We're here."

An idea came to mind. Like before, I didn't know if it was going to work, but it was worth a shot. "Who's wife, Bella?" Maybe, just maybe, if she was in this trance she could answer questions easier than when she wasn't in one?

"Bella… Bella wife."

I squatted beside Emmett so that I could take her hand in mine. "Are you someone's wife?"

_Did these whack jobs marry her off to someone? Fucking weirdos._

"Bella… wife."

"Who are you married to, Bella?"

"… James."

0-0

**That scene with Edward and Bella making dinner broke my heart!**

**Just to clear up any confusion from the last chapter, I know that some people were wondering, Brooke and Victoria are two different people - it was just the hair colour that freaked Bella out. **

**The next chapter will be a short one, but I think you'll enjoy it…**

**Again, if you'd like to follow my updates then feel free to join my Facebook page, RosieRathbone FanFiction. **

**Thank you for reading. What are your thoughts? **


	7. Chapter 6

**Trigger warning: this chapter holds descriptions to which some of you may be sensitive. **

Hereafter

Chapter 6

**August 24th, 2018**

**Bella**

Strawberries.

They remind me of childhood.

I really liked my childhood, growing up in Phoenix and Forks. I chopped and changed between living with Renee or Charlie, but I liked it. I was happy.

I was very happy.

Now, I'm very scared. Every little thing scares me. My mind scares me. There's nothing worse than struggling mentally, because you can never escape it. I can't stop the visions, or the nightmares, or the trances. This is who I am now. _They _made me like this. I have visions of seeing him through the window, and coming into the room. The flashbacks take over my entire body and I can almost feel the physical pain that I had to endure.

I don't know what my mind is making me see, and what I am actually seeing.

I know that these strawberries are real. Their sweet taste, the juice that dribbles down my fingers when I take a bite. This is real. It took me a while, but I can now trust this innocent plate of food. I remember, all too clearly, the first meal that _they _gave me and that it had been laced with some sort of drug…? I don't know what it was, but I know that I passed out for some uncountable amount of time, and when I woke up I was in a lot of pain. Red marks quickly turned into purple bruises. I was sore and stiff. I'm not stupid; I knew what they had done to me, how they had taken my innocence in their hands without thinking twice, but there was nothing I could do. I recall hearing their laughter. The dirty, nasty tone of their laughs. They made fun of me, of the vulnerable shell of a person I had become because of their actions.

I was a toy.

A puppet. They controlled the strings.

It has been two days since I managed to escape, and it doesn't feel real yet. They keep telling me that I'm safe, but it'll be a while before I believe that. Charlie, Edward and Emmett are all here for me, but my mind doesn't want to believe that it's real. That it is actually happening.

I was terrified of Nora when I first saw her, she looked like a bear. I hadn't been walking for long, but my body was so weak that I fell into Edward's car, which brought Nora closer to me. I remember her sniffing my legs, but I was too scared to move. My legs trembled so violently, that even if I did have the strength, I would have fallen over regardless.

When Nora ran away I was determined to keep walking, but Edward caught me before I could go anywhere. I don't know what it was, or what made me do it, but for the time in months I used my voice. I spoke and he heard me.

I'm not allowed to speak. If I speak, James hurts me.

His favourite weapon is his belt. The solid buckle at the end left the biggest mark. He was also fond of his boots.

I liked Edward, because he doesn't wear a belt, and he only wears sneakers.

He had a nice voice, and his green eyes reminded me of Forks. Of my childhood.

Emmett scared me at first, because he is so large, but he is a cop. Charlie is a cop. I trust them.

However, I don't know what I would have done without Nora. She saved me, she looked after me. I think Nora is my friend. I like it when she lies on my like a blanket, because, for the first time, I feel safe with her.

She has teeth which could do more harm than a belt or a boot.

I was unarmed for months, but now I have a weapon.

0-0

I take another strawberry.

Edward is reading, Nora is sleeping and Charlie is watching a muted game of football on Edward's tv. Emmett had to work, but like yesterday, he promised me he would return for dinner.

_I love reading _"…books."

Out of that entire sentence, I can only mutter one word. Again, my mind has more control than I do.

He smiles again, I like his smile. "I'm a bookworm - Emmett always made fun of me for reading so much when we were growing up."

_I have a room full of "…_books" _at home. _

Home. When can I go home? Can Nora and Edward come too?

"What is your favorite book?" Edward closed the pages over but kept one finger between them so as not to lose his place. He gave me his full attention. That is what I also like about him.

_Pride and Prejudice. _

_Pride and Prejudice._

"P…P…" _Argh!_

"It's okay - take your time."

I look at Charlie so that he can help me out. He knows my favorite book, but he doesn't help me. "C'mon, Bells. You've got this."

I want to speak. I want nothing more than to say the words that were in my head, but if I speak, I'll get attacked.

I don't know how long ago it was, but I know that the last time I spoke I was made to wear a collar around my neck which had a chain that was attached to the wall. I couldn't move for days.

This is why I don't speak.

_I'm _"…scared."

Scared is the wrong word. Terrified - that is what I am. I'm terrified.

On hearing my confession, Charlie moves closer to the couch and Edward forgets about the book he was holding. He kneels on the floor in front of me with Nora by his side. "Can I hold your hand, Bella?" He asks me.

_Can I hold your hand?_

_Can I hold your hand?_

Will he hurt me?

No, I don't think so.

Gingerly, I pushed my hand down my lap as an invitation for Edward to hold it. He puts his palm over mine, but he doesn't squeeze it. He holds it gently, almost like my hand was fragile. Or a flower that you don't want to squash. "What are you scared of?"

Everything.

I don't say anything, so Edward tries another tactic. "What do you think will happen if you talk?"

_If I mutter even the smallest of noises I am scared that you will _"…hurt" _me. _

Edward's eyes look sad. "We won't let anyone hurt you, Bella. Remember what I said about talking - think it over and over in your head and then say it slowly?"

_Pride and Prejudice. _

_Pride and Prejudice. _

"P… Pr… Pride and… Pre-judice."

On instinct my head whipped around to the door, expecting James to walk in with his belt in his hand. But nothing. I look at the windows, but the curtains are closed. He could be out there.

He could be standing on the other side of that wall right now, listening to everything I just said.

He'll have his boots on. The heaviest ones. The collar will be hanging by the chain. Victoria would be laughing at me. They will break down the door and I'll have nowhere to hide.

5…4…3…2…1…

_Boom._

0-0

I don't know what happened, but I sat up with a gasp. My heart was pounding and I was hot with sweat. Charlie was at my feet, and as I sat up he caught me in his arms. "You're okay, Bells. I've got you."

I wanted to ask him what had happened but I had already said too much today. I looked him straight in the eye, in hope that he could read what I was trying to say. He did. My dad understood me like no-one else. He stroked my hair with his hand. "You had a panic attack, and the force of the episode practically knocked you out."

Charlie looked worried. I desperately wanted to apologize, but I couldn't.

My eyes moved from Charlie, down to Nora. Her dark eyes looked as scared as Charlie's.

A piece of chocolate sat on the table next to the strawberries. For the panic attacks.

Next to the food was a book. A copy of Pride and Prejudice.

I peered over to Edward, silently asking if he put that there.

"I forgot I owned a copy. I thought, I you'd like to, you could read it - help take your mind off things? Of course you don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

This is why I like Edward. He doesn't wear belts or boots and he allows me to make my own decisions.

For the rest of the evening, we sat quietly. Charlie continued watching sports on tv - he enjoyed his favorite beer as the game went on. Edward continued reading his book with Nora lying at his feet.

I ate my strawberries, and I thought about my childhood.

0-0

**And breathe out…**

**There we have it, a little insight. We will be back with Edward in the next chapter, but I thought it was important for you to see why her speech is so limited, but also why she finds comfort in her new surroundings. **

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought. **


	8. Chapter 7

**This is a long one - you can thank me later. **

Hereafter

Chapter 7

**August 25th, 2018**

**Edward**

I felt as though we were taking two steps forward and one step back.

Yesterday we managed to get Bella to eat more than just a bowl of strawberries, and she had even improved on her talking, but then she had a panic attack so severe that she passed out, and now we're back to stage one again.

Charlie had mentioned that we needed to get started on the investigation and work out exactly who these people are - James and Victoria - but Bella had become mute again, and in the thirteen hours since her panic attack, she hadn't muttered a single word. Not even my name. I'm no expert, but it was clear that she was suffering with PTSD, and yesterdays events had pushed her over the edge. A tipping point.

We had started putting the tv on as a form of entertainment, and even though she was looking at it, I could just tell that she wasn't watching it. She was wrapped up in a blanket and Nora, as always, lay beside her, but she wouldn't responded to any of our questions. It's like they say - the lights are on but no-ones at home.

"Are you warm enough? Do you need another blanket?" I asked after noticing the shivers that ran up and down her body. I didn't get an answer. So instead I took the spare throw that usually sat over my seat, and placed it on the table next to her strawberries. "I'm going to leave this here, and you can take it if you need it, okay?"

Charlie and I had come up with a plan in order for us to get some sleep. It had been days since we last rested, and we knew that we needed to be alert in case anything serious happened. So we took turns in napping. I went first and set my alarm for three hours. Once those three hours were up, I swapped with Charlie. We had hoped that Bella would sleep through the night, in which case we both could get a decent sleep, however that is yet to happen.

At one o'clock that afternoon Emmett came bounding through the front door with a black folder clutched under one arm. He found me in the kitchen and couldn't hold back the excitement he felt with his new idea. "I am the smartest man alive!" He grinned and slapped my arm enthusiastically.

"And why is that?" I asked, whilst pouring a new cup of coffee.

"Because I have come up with a brilliant plan that might just work!"

"'_Might' _being the operative word in that sentence?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and carried on talking. "Look, if we don't try then we'll never get anywhere." He threw everything he was holding down onto the breakfast bar and unclipped his security belt from around his waist. Emmett was currently on shift, so he was dressed in his full uniform.

"Right," he unzipped the folder, "I was speaking to my buddy at the station, and he suggested trying a different form of communication." He pulled out sheets of A4 paper and a selection of colored pencils. "Drawing!"

"Drawing?"

"Yes! Bella is having difficulty explaining certain facts, correct? Well then why doesn't she try and draw them?"

"I don't know about this…"

"Look, baby brother, criminal sketches are the best way to get an image out there, but in order to do that we would need Bella to describe every little detail down to the shape of their fucking noses. There is no way she will be able to go through with that, or allow an artist into the house."

I thought about the idea as I lead us back to the living room. "I suppose it's worth a try. Also, did you not say that you thought of this idea? It sounds an awful lot like your friend did…"

"Alright, Negative Nancy." As we entered the room, Emmett was clearly taken aback but how empty it was. "Where's the Chief?" He wondered.

"Upstairs sleeping."

Emmett nodded his head - he understood better than anyone how we were feeling. "Hey, Little One." He dropped the pencils and paper onto the table. "I thought we could do some arts and crafts?"

Bella side-eyed the paper before her gaze went back to her fingers. She had started a new habit of picking away at the skin around her nails. Her finger tips looked red and sore.

Emmett waited on an answer which wasn't going to come, so instead her picked up the first pencil he came across - a blue one. "Our time is running out if we want to find these people, Bella. So I could really use your help right now in giving me something to work on. I'm going to ask you some questions but you don't need to say anything. With the description I just want you to draw," he scribbled the tip of the blue pencil onto the top corner of the paper as an example. "That is all I need - a color. Nothing more. Do you think you could do that for me?"

For the first time in several hours, Bella looked me straight in the eye. She pleaded with me silently. I didn't want to be the bad guy - none of us did, however we knew if we didn't work quickly, James and Victoria will be ten times harder to find. It was for Bella's own safety that we were doing this. To make it easier, I lowered myself down to her level and covered my hand with hers. "Sweetheart, I understand how difficult this must be for you right now, however we need to get some descriptions otherwise the police won't know where to start." Underneath mine, her hands shook violently. "Talking scares you, I get that. But I promise that you won't need to speak a single word if you don't want to."

At that exact moment, footfalls were heard coming down my stairs. Bella's eyes widened in panic. "It's just Charlie. No-one else is in this house." It seemed as though she didn't believe me until the second her dad entered the room. I watched as her shoulders fell and the panic subsided.

"Chief," Emmett stood to greet Charlie. "My friend and I have come up with an idea. For Bella to use color instead of words."

Charlie nodded in approval. "Sounds great. You can do that Bells, right?"

It was amazing how much brighter he looked after such a short nap.

0-0

It took a while, but miraculously Bella found the courage to complete her task. On one sheet of paper, Emmett had drawn a simple outline of two people. The drawings were left blank so that Bella could add in the hair style, eye color, and ethnicity of James and Victoria. Emmett slid the paper over to Bella. "Are we only looking for two people?" He asked. "I just need you to nod or shake your head."

Bella bit away at her sore fingers before she nodded her head slowly.

"Excellent. Thank you so much." Emmett brushed the pencils towards her. "Okay, we're going to start off with their hair. On each drawing I need you to show me what color their hair is, and whether it's long or short."

The three of us watched as Bella slowly chose her first pencil - a yellow one - and began to draw lines from the top of the head that stopped at the shoulders. Witnessing her bravery sent shivers down my spine. I had never been more proud of anything in my life. Once she had finished with the yellow pencil, she picked an orange one and continued the same thing on the second drawing. This hair was much longer, and from what we gathered, it was curly instead of straight.

"You're doing an excellent job; you should be so, so proud of yourself," Emmett praised. "Is this one Victoria?" He pointed at the drawing with orange hair. Bella nodded. With the confirmation, Emmett went ahead and wrote their names above each drawing. "Right, next I need their eye color." Facial features had been drawn onto the face, but the circle of the eyes left space for Bella to add in a color.

For James she picked the darkest shade - a dark gray - and scribbled it into the eyes. For Victoria she picked a light blue, and repeated the action. The fact that James had been given such dark eyes left us stumped. It could be that James had dark eyes in general, like brown for example, or Bella's fear and memory made her see menacing black eyes, when they could be on the complete other end of the scale.

For their ethnicity Emmett told Bella to leave the bodies blank if they are white, or color them in if they are black or Hispanic. She left them blank. He then asked if they are American, to which Bella nodded again.

"Okay, so we are looking for two white Americans, one male with long blonde hair, and one female with curly red hair. Now, of course this doesn't single them out, so what I need you to do is add in any special features that they may have. For example, if one of them has a scar or a visible tattoo, I want you to add that in the best you can. The same with clothing - do they wear the same item of clothing, like a jacket or a t-shirt?"

Bella's breathing became loud and labored. Noticing his daughter's fear, Charlie placed a gentle arm around her shoulders. "You doing such an incredible job, Bells. Remember this it's just a piece of paper, it can't hurt you."

Bella stroked Nora's head and gnawed away at her fingers, before she picked up a black pencil. On the drawing of James, she added a thick line around his waist, and then on his feet she drew a pair of black shoes that went up passed the ankle. It didn't show any specific details, but it did say that James wore a belt and boots majority of the time. On Victoria's drawing, she took a red pencil and added some high heels. Again, it held no uniqueness, but it was better than nothing. Going back to James, with a black pencil, she quickly drew something on his upper arm. It looked like… teeth but two of them were longer than the others. Fangs? Vampire fangs?

"James has a tattoo on his arm?" Emmett clarified, to which Bella nodded. "You're incredible. Thank you so much." He quickly left the room with his phone in his hand, and returned a few minutes later. "Okay, so I have passed on your small descriptions to my buddies who are scavenging the area as we speak. There is one thing they have asked me for and that is whether or not your know where you were during your time?"

It was clear that Emmett chose his words carefully.

Bella shook her head, meaning she hadn't stepped outside once during her ordeal.

"That's okay. How about inside? Can you show me any specific details of the room, or the building?"

After a small delay, Bella made an involuntary noise and tears filled her eyes again. I reached out to her to try and reassure her, but this almost made matters worse. Emmett did his best to encourage her, but after what seemed like a lifetime, she picked up a pencil and touched it to the paper. At first, it seemed like she was drawing again, until it became clear she was speaking through the paper.

_Mirror._

A tear dropped on the paper, smudging the markings she'd just made. Now we just had to figure out what to do next.

0-0

**Rosalie**

When Emmett first told me about Bella my heart went out to her. He was so invested in her safety and story, that I couldn't help but become invested myself. He hadn't told me everything, but he did say that parts of our stories matched. Before I met Emmett twelve years ago, I was in a very abusive relationship which almost cost me my life. Emmett was my knight in shining armor and saved me from those horrific events, and even now I still have nightmares from that time. When it happened the only person I could talk to was the therapist during my weekly sessions, and so when I heard about Bella I knew that she would also want someone who understand the trauma that she was suffering with. I offered my help, but I was quickly told that Bella probably wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone new coming into her safety bubble, which is why I was very shocked when Emmett came home from work the next day with an idea for me. He had been given the all clear and was told that they had all the evidence they needed, so Bella was free to have a bath.

"I don't know if it's going to work, but Bella may feel more comfortable being bathed by another female than her own father." Emmett tugged away at the collar of his work shirt that sat stiffly around his neck.

"Even if I turn up and have to leave again, I'd like to help in any way that I can."

After a brief trip to the store to collect everything I may need, we set off on the forty minute drive to my brother-in-law's house. Emmett chose that time to fill me in on Bella's different needs and troubles. He explained to me that she doesn't talk, at all, but that she knows what is going on and so it was best to keep explaining our moves to her. He also said that both Edward, and Bella's dad, knew I was coming, but Bella herself hadn't been told about my arrival. "Sometimes it's best to keep things a secret until they happen, y'know?"

"I get it."

I ran my hand over my protruding bump as we pulled up outside of Edward's house. I was currently half way through my first pregnancy, yet whenever I felt nervous I always found comfort holding my belly. Our daughter calmed me down like nothing else. We had only just found out that we were having a little girl that it still feels surreal to call her 'our daughter'. She had just started kicking which made the experience even more magical. I had wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. It truly is the greatest gift.

With the three bags in hand, we crossed Edward's yard. Emmett had been given the spare key, so that he could let himself in whenever he needed to. I was quick to notice that the living room curtains had been drawn, but a soft light seeped through them.

Entering the house, I was told to keep quiet and to stay in the foyer until Bella had been informed of my arrival. Emmett's soft voice as he spoke to her and his gentle actions reminded me once again why I had married him.

_"Hey, Little One. I've been told some wonderful news… we don't need to collect any more evidence from you, so if you would like a bath then it is all yours." _I tried so hard not to let the bags rustle and blow my cover. Emmett continued to talk. _"I know that this is a daunting task for you, which is why I have brought my wife here to see you and she has offered to help." _

I didn't hear anything else, but seconds later Edward came out from the living room. He gave me a tired smile. "Thank you for helping with this." He held out his hand to take the bags I was still holding.

"It's my pleasure." I pointed in direction of the living room. "Am I okay to… I mean, will she be alright if I go in there?"

Edward shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know. But she hasn't shown any sign of refusal, so I suppose we could give it a try." He lead me into the room, and the first thing I noticed was that the tv was on, but no sound came from it. I spotted Bella's dad first. He lounged on a chair next to the couch, where the tiny bundle sat.

Bella was wrapped, in what looked like, two blankets and Nora lay beside her. Emmett had mentioned how much she had grown attached to Esme and Carlisle's dog. My heart couldn't handle the sight in front of me. Bella lips trembled, she picked away at her nails and focused solely on the coffee table. The table held scraps of paper, pencils and a bowl with the remains of strawberries in it.

"Bella, I'd like to introduce you to Rosalie." Emmett held my hand to bring me closer towards him.

"Hi." I smiled, but she didn't see that.

Edward crouched beside the sofa and placed his hand over Bella's. I was told that he had some special bond with her, but until that moment I'd never thought it was as strong as it appeared. "Rosalie has offered to help you take a bath, but if you don't feel comfortable then it doesn't have to happen, okay?"

I could see from her expression that Bella didn't feel one hundred percent certain with this idea, but perhaps she was simply trying to wrap her mind around it. Another timid hand left the blanket cocoon and with it she stroked Nora's lush fur.

Edward tried again, "I'll get the bath water started and Charlie can carry you upstairs, yeah?" I watched as Bella's head turned in Edward's direction, and then back towards Nora. "Of course you can have Nora with you if that is what you would like?"

"Em'," I whispered to my husband. "I don't need to be here. If this is too much for her, then it can wait until later."

He kissed the crown of my head. "She's not refusing your help. If Bella didn't want this you'd know about it. Like I said; she isn't stupid - Bella knows what needs to be done, and I can only imagine how good a hot bath must seem to her right now."

I stood back and gave the guys some space. Edward disappeared upstairs, with Nora a step behind him, and with the help from Emmett, Bella's dad unfolded the layers around Bella before aiding his frail daughter up from the couch. She kept her head down and her hands around her chest.

In a cradle carry, he took her to join Edward in the bathroom. I collected my shopping bags and followed on afterwards. Edward's house was a typical bachelor pad, apart from the bathroom which looked as though it had never been touched. White walls, white tiles and blue towels. It was very different than my coordinated bathroom at home, which came with a selection of scented candles and artwork.

The bath was ready and with a smile, Edward left the room. Charlie lowered the toilet lid and sat Bella on top of it. "I will be right outside if you need anything, Bells. You are in great hands and Nora won't leave this room, okay?" He gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead and then squeezed my arm in thanks as he left. It all became very real once the door had closed.

I sat on the floor and brought the bags closer to me. I wanted Bella to be higher up in hope that she could feel slightly more dominant. "So as you know my name is Rosalie, but feel free to call me whatever you'd like. Rose, Rosie - I get called everything."

Nothing. Not a peep.

I changed the subject and listed everything that I had bought. "I'm sure Edward's body wash smells great, but I thought you might prefer something a bit fresher?" My joke fell onto deaf ears. "I don't know how sensitive your skin is right now, so I've picked Johnson's baby shampoo, body wash and lotion to save your skin from reacting - hopefully. But for conditioner I got Head and Shoulders. Clearly babies have no need for conditioner." Again, my joke seemed only for my entertainment, but I wanted to keep the spirits high.

"I also got you some towels, and a pair of pajamas and underwear so that you can feel more comfortable in fitted clothing." I'd picked up some things for her, not knowing entirely to expect, apart from one thing - she'd been locked away for a long time, and I'd gotten some clothes from the kids section because the girl was so malnourished, I wasn't sure if adult sizes would fit.

The other items were some sponges, a jug, hairbrush and even a pair of scissors. The ends of her hair had turned into one giant dreadlock from the lack of treatment over the last few months, so it was likely I'd need to cut it.

Next it was time for the difficult part. "Are you okay to take those clothes off, or would you like my help?" Bella sat there for a minute, not moving a muscle, before slowly picking away at the edges of Edward's t-shirt. She managed to get it up to her shoulders and then seemed to struggle. "It's okay, I'll get it from there. I was astonished that she didn't jerk away from me as I came up closer and assisted in pulling the baggy shirt over her head. I tried not to look at the bruises that marked her pale skin.

Last to go were the shorts, but this one I had to do for her. She used my arm to keep her balance as she stood from the toilet, and then with confirmation that I was allowed to do so, I pulled the shorts down to her feet.

"There we go! Now, are you okay to make it to the bath?" It was only two steps, but I had seen how weak she was. With her hand still clutched onto my arm, I took the steps with her and then held onto her sides as she lifted one leg over the side of the bath, followed by the second. I double checked that the water wasn't too hot before helping her lower into it. Nora popped her head up onto the side.

"I bet that feels really nice, right?" I opened the bottle of body wash and squeezed a decent amount onto a sponge. "I'll start with your body, and then I'll focus on your hair, okay? I'm going to rub down your back, but if you need me to stop then smack the water with your hand and I'll stop instantly."

From seeing her naked body, I saw that majority of her injuries were on her back and sides, so I made sure to be extra gentle in those areas. The soap was quick to build up a lather and I moved the sponge round and round in circles as I made my way down her back. The notches of her spine and ribs protruded in an unhealthy way. Her body trembled the entire time, but never once did she tell me to stop.

"Emmett says that you've fallen in love with Nora?" I didn't expect her to answer, but it felt rude not to ask questions even if they were one-sided. "She is such a lovely dog. I work with animals, and it truly feels like the best job anyone can have."

I swapped to a different sponge as I worked on her arms. "Do you have a favorite animal? Mine are whales, specifically Orcas. They are such beautiful and fascinating mammals."

I almost missed it, but in a tiny whisper Bella replied, "…rabbits."

I didn't want to say anything, however that little voice sparked a reaction which caused tears to appear in my eyes. Usually I blame my crying on the pregnancy, but I knew that this time it wasn't linked in the slightest.

"Rabbits are gorgeous. There is something so special about them."

As I was working on Bella's leg, my baby decided to make herself known and began a small series of kicks. "Ow!" My hand soothed the area where she kicked. I felt awful when I saw how my jump had made Bella quiver away in fear. "I'm so sorry, my baby is practising her soccer skills."

Bella turned her head slightly to look at my stomach. "…baby."

"Yeah. We're having a little girl, but from the strength of her kicks I'm almost certain it's a boy." As if she heard me, the kicks began all over again. "Would you like to feel them?"

Bella raised her arm out from the bath water, I brought her hand to the top right of my stomach where the kicks were happening. The sweetest smile formed on Bella's face as she felt them. It's true what they say - a baby can light up a room, no matter how dark it may be.

"Y'know, we're still deciding on names, so if you have any suggestions then please let me know!"

She didn't say another word in the time that I was there, but that didn't matter to me. The two that she spoke filled me with biggest rush of love and protection, and it was a moment that I'd never forget. I felt as though she trusted me, and I made a vow then never to break her trust.

When I started on her hair I knew that the dreadlock was going to be much harder to detangle than I first realized. I asked if it was okay that I cut that hair away, and a small nod gave me my answer. Thankfully her hair was long anyway, and so after the snip, it now sat just below her shoulders. The rest of her hair was fairly easy to work with once it had been doused in shampoo and conditioner.

Once we had finished in the bath, I helped Bella stand and make her way back to the toilet wrapped in a new, fluffy towel. When her body was dry enough I brought out the lotion.

"I want to thank you for allowing me to do this, Bella." I rubbed the cream into her arms. "I've been through something traumatic myself, and so I know exactly how scary the world can feel right now. I want to help you in any way that I can, and so if you ever need my assistance again, please don't hesitate to tell Emmett and I'll be straight over. I know it's not easy, and trusting people will be hard, but I promise you that it will get better, and there is always help out there if you need it."

She watched as I worked in the lotion. "I also want you to promise me that you'll visit the baby when she is born?" I shot her a sweet smile, to show how genuine and real my words were.

Once I had brushed her hair for the final time, and I had dressed her in the new socks, panties and pajamas, I called for Charlie who, like he said, had been sitting outside for the entire hour that we were in here.

"You look like a million bucks, Bells!"

After clearing up the mess I had made in Edward's bathroom, I joined the group back downstairs and overheard both brothers commenting on Bella's new haircut. I wouldn't call myself a hair stylist, and it definitely wasn't the neatest cut anyone had ever had, but it was better than the greasy mess before now. I was proud of myself for how it had turned out.

Emmett and I didn't hang around for too much longer after that. We both had work early the next morning, and it was already nearing 10PM. I stood off to the side as Emmett gathered together the pieces of paper from the table, and reassured Bella that she'll see him again tomorrow.

"Rose?" Edward called my name as I was leaving the living room. I turned to see that he was standing beside Bella. She had her arm outstretched in my direction. "I think this is her way of telling you something."

With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I went back towards the sweet girl. I stretched out my own arm and was shocked when she took my hand and squeezed it ever so gently. It was weak and faint, but it was a squeeze. Her eyes said a thousand words. She was thanking me for my help this evening.

"You don't need to thank me. Like I said, I wish I had more people to help me when I was in this situation. I can come back again whenever you want me to."

0-0

**Hmm… another clue…**

**Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought and what you think of Rosalie! **


	9. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all your wonderful comments on Rosalie, I'm so glad you all love her as much as I do. Now, time to meet some more characters…?**

Hereafter

Chapter 8.

**August 27th, 2018**

**Edward**

It has been five days since Bella first appeared in my front yard, and as much as I love helping her and would literally do anything for her, I have noticed my mental health declining as each day passes. In order to keep myself prepped and healthy, I need to do two things: keep myself distracted, and make sure I get plenty of rest. One of those is much harder to come by. Yesterday Charlie mentioned that Bella should sleep in a bed, for many reasons but mostly because it could help her get back into a sense of normality - downstairs during the day, and then in a bed at night instead of being cooped up on the couch all day long. I sorted out the sheets on the double bed in the spare room, and as nighttime fell, he carried her upstairs along with the blankets she had practically lived in since she had arrived.

At first Bella never seemed to struggle or refuse the offer, especially when she noticed that Charlie would stay with her, and it didn't seem to take her long to fall asleep. Unfortunately, a few hours into her sleep, I was torn awake by the earth-shattering scream of her nightmares. I ran through to the room and saw Charlie holding his daughter close as he soothed her terrors. It made me feel useless that I couldn't do anything to help. Nora had also entered the room, and without being asked, she lay beside Bella's side of the bed and did her bit however she could. I managed to get some more sleep after that, but it didn't seem to make a difference.

Which leads me to today, I was tired, cranky, and for once I was in desperate need to leave the house. I took Nora on her morning walk, and that helped, but only slightly. I had also been made to get some work done, which came as a welcome distraction. However, no matter how tired and cranky I was, whenever Bella looked at me with those sweet innocent eyes, I couldn't help but smile and forget about everything going on in my head, because I knew that whatever was going on inside of hers would always be ten times worse.

Bella had started to talk again. Of course she would only say one-two word answers, but anything was better than the deafening silence we had experienced. She was eating more, and when the tv was on, she would watch it. Re-runs of Friends became a Godsend. Charlie had mentioned how Bella used to be addicted to that show, and we even saw how it affected her when the friendly characters came on screen. The sweetest smile beamed across her face, and inside I could tell she was laughing.

"Edward."

I broke away from my laptop and looked up at Bella. She held out her arm, pointing to the screen and that the well-known character who had appeared on it. "Phoebe?" I asked.

Bella took a big gulp, before muttering her answer. "Smelly… cat." It wasn't until that moment that I noticed the song Phoebe was playing on her guitar in the Central Perk cafe.

I couldn't help but laugh - a proper, hearty laugh. "That song will always remind me of my sister, Alice. She once asked my parents for a guitar simply so that she could play that song."

A frown appeared on Bella's forehead. "…Sister."

Had I mentioned Alice to her before? I thought I had done, but it occurred to me that I had no reason to tell Bella about Alice up until now. "Yes, I have a little sister. She is younger than me, but a little bit older than you. She's lovely; you'll like her."

An idea made itself known, which had me put my laptop away and stand so that I could sit beside Bella on the couch. "Would you like to see a picture?" I brought my phone out from my pocket and unlocked it with a simply press of my finger tip. I opened up the Facebook app, and searched for Alice's profile. I wasn't sure how long Bella would be here for, or when she would go back home with Charlie, but I thought that if she met Alice it might make the situation easier if Bella knew what she looked like.

I opened up Alice's profile picture which was a photo from her wedding day. It was a candid photo of her and Jasper laughing at something. She was dressed in her over-the-top wedding dress, and her usual jagged hair style had been curled slightly. "This is Alice, and her husband, Jasper." I scrolled through the album so that Bella could get a better idea of what she looked like. Some of the photos were of Alice herself, and some were of Alice and Jasper together.

"…Pretty."

"She's a Kindergarten teacher at a school in Portland, and Jasper is a History teacher at the same school."

Next I went on to my mother's profile. Now, Esme uses Facebook as much as I do which is once in a blue moon, and her page is full of the things she has 'shared' from other pages. The last shared post was from three months ago. However, she does have a small selection of photos that I could use to my advantage. Including one of her and Carlisle in the same shot. I explained who they were, and continued to scroll through the album until I came across one picture that I didn't know Esme had posted. Then again, which mother doesn't use baby photos of their children as a profile picture?

The photo was of the Emmett, Alice and myself. Alice was a newborn when the picture was taken, which made me around two years old, and Emmett four. I held Alice in my chubby, toddler arms and Emmett sat behind us with a big, toothy grin on his face. It was very clear who it was, despite how young we were.

Bella pulled her arm out from the blanket and pointed at the photo. "…Edward." She said.

"That's right."

"… Happy."

I looked over at her and smiled. "Yes, I was happy - I had a great childhood."

Bella smiled, nodded and muttered, "…happy", once again.

0-0

That evening, like the others, was quiet and rather uneventful. I received a phone call from Emmett keeping me up to date with everything he was doing behind the scenes with his colleagues, and I also had a phone call from Esme informing me when their flight would land the following afternoon. A few days ago I was unsure of how that would go, and how Bella would react to me leaving the house, but after the progress of today I was no longer as concerned. After dinner I took Nora on her final walk of the day, and when we arrived back at the house I sat on the porch bench, took in the nighttime air and allowed myself to unwind before settling down for the evening. I lived on a cul-de-sac, so to speak, but there was a good distance between the houses - that is what I liked about where I lived; I didn't feel like my neighbors could watch my every move, or look right in through my windows.

I was peering off into the trees that surrounded our street, when a voice broke my distraction. "Lovely evening, isn't it?"

I looked over to the lady who stood on the sidewalk before me. She wore dark clothing, so I probably wouldn't have noticed her had she not spoken to me. I noticed the hood of her jacket had been pulled up to keep away the evening air.

"Yeah," I replied. "It's a nice change."

The lady took a few steps closer towards me, and because of that I thought it was only right that I stood from my seat. "I always enjoy evening strolls, especially when everyone else is in for the night."

Before I could respond, Nora joined me by my side.

"What a beautiful dog, is she yours?" The lady asked, walking closer to get a better look at Nora.

I knew that Hovawarts are known for being watchdogs and how reserved they are towards strangers, however I had never seen Nora act this way before. A low growl vibrated through her body, so much so that I needed to clip her leash back on, just incase I needed to take control.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "She isn't the best around strangers." Nora was only looking out for me, but I honestly felt bad for this lady. She hadn't done anything wrong, and was simply starting an innocent conversation, so I felt it was only right to apologize for Nora's behavior.

"You don't need to be scared of me, beautiful," the lady spoke directly to Nora.

In a flash, Nora's attitude changed suddenly. She stepped forward with one leg, her growl was louder and more fierce than before. Her lips curled up to flash her sharp teeth. She meant business. A bark was quick to follow, and then another, and another. Nora very rarely barks.

I pulled back on the leash and ended the conversation there before things could turn ugly. "I'm so sorry. I should get her inside." With a wave of my hand, I tugged Nora away and headed back to the house. Nora continued to watch the lady as she hurried away. Something clearly didn't sit well with her, but I had no idea what it could have been about. "Nora," I crouched to her level and held her head in my hands. "What has gotten into you?"

For the rest of the evening Nora appeared to be agitated. She sat beside Bella as normal, but her head was turned towards the door, almost as though she imagined someone walking through it.

0-0

**August 28th, 2018**

**Edward.**

Bella finally had a good sleep! Last night I only woke up once to her screams, and this morning Charlie was pleased to announce that she hadn't had any more nightmares during the night. You could see how much it had effected everybody, and the mood in the house was the brightest it had ever been. Charlie even made Bella her favorite breakfast - French toast with bacon. He only gave her half a slice of toast, and one rasher of bacon, but paired up with a few strawberries and I don't think I had seen a bigger smile spread across her face.

It was the perfect atmosphere, and I hoped that it would allow me to leave and collect my parents from the airport… I had a shower, changed into a pair of jeans and a black polo neck, and then went downstairs to find Bella curled up in her blanket throne. She was watching some reality show on tv. "Hey, are you comfy enough?" I asked, taking the spare seat next to her.

Bella looked up at me, smiled and nodded. One arm popped out from the blankets to push her hair behind her ear. She was wearing her new pajamas from Rosalie. They had just been washed, so I could tell that she was happy to have them on again.

"I need to leave the house for a little bit, but you'll have Charlie with you, and Nora as well. Do you think you'll be okay?"

Bella looked scared and unsure. She bit away at her lower lip. "…Edward."

"Hey, it's okay." I covered her knee with my hand. "You know that no-one would dare hurt you in front of Nora, right? And Charlie won't leave this room for a second. I won't be gone for long."

"…Stay." She pleaded.

Fuck, this was going to be harder than I thought. "Okay, what if I make you another promise? I need to leave the house now, and I will be gone for roughly two hours, but as soon as I get back I won't leave the house again, and I will stay right here." I didn't want to say where I was going, because if she knew I was collecting my parents, she could probably put two and two together. Nora won't be staying at my house for much longer. The idea of Nora not being here terrified Bella more than the idea of me not being here. I hoped to ask my parents if Nora could stay for longer, but until I have a proper answer, I couldn't help but worry about what this could do to Bella's progress.

"…Promise."

It broke my heart to hear her plead and sound so unsure of what was going on. "Of course. You know I wouldn't put you in danger. How about…" I picked up the television remote and went onto the movie options, a giant selection of films came on the screen. "How about you watch a movie, and then when it has finished it won't be long before I come home?"

Bella eyed the television and all the titles that it had suggested. You had everything on there from action, to romance, to family friendly.

"Also," I added. "Charlie has my number, and so if you need some reassurance you can phone me?" I knew it would be a one-sided conversation, but hearing my voice might calm her down if she felt scared. I don't know, it was an idea.

Charlie entered the room at that moment and patted my shoulder as a silent way of saying that I needed to hit the road. I rose from my seat but kept a hand on her knee. "You can do this, Bella, and I'll be back before you know it." Without thinking I leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on her crown. "Prove to me how brave you are."

Bella didn't cry, or call my name, but that didn't mean she was happy with the situation. I left before it could turn ugly. With my phone in the car cradle, I set off. The guilt was almost too much to bear, and every thirty seconds I would tap my phone screen just incase I had a missed call. For the forty minutes that it took to drive to Portland International Airport, I did my best to focus on nothing but the road before me.

I arrived at PDX five minutes later than planned, found a place to park, and then went in search for my parents. I hadn't even thought of what I would say when they didn't see Nora in the car, or how I would explain the situation to them. Not that I thought they would react _badly, _but knowing my parents they would make a fuss over Bella. The last thing Bella needs is for more people to enter the house and hover around her.

"Edward!" I turned around to see Esme running over to me, her suitcase abandoned. She acted like they hadn't seen me in two years, let alone two weeks. "Oh, my baby boy, I missed you!" She pulled me in for a deep hug. Esme may be smaller than me, but she's not weak.

"Missed you too, mom."

Carlisle dragged over his suitcase and my mother's abandoned one and greeted me with a slap on the back. "How was your trip?" I asked. Carlisle had recently retired after being a surgeon for thirty plus years, so I knew how much this vacation meant to them.

"It was amazing, and it was great to get some sun for once."

We retreated back to my car with Esme telling me everything about their vacation and the amount of things they managed to pack into their fourteen day stay. "Movies don't do Alcatraz justice; you'll need to see if for yourself. Hearing the voices of the prisoners as we went from cell to cell sent shivers all over my body."

We arrived at my parked Volvo and it took no time at all for Esme to notice what was missing. "Where is my baby girl?"

"I'm sure Alice is safe at home, mother."

She swatted my arm. "Oh, Edward, you know what I meant."

Carlisle and I both chuckled as we heaved the bags into the back. "Nora is at home, don't worry." A place that I was desperate to get back to. My only hope was that Charlie didn't phone me, and if he did then it was after I had spoken to my parents.

"So are we going to collect Nora now? You know I cannot part with her for too long."

I turned to look at Esme, took a deep breath and said, "I was actually wondering if she could stay with me for a bit longer?" Thankfully I had to keep my eyes on the road, so I couldn't see their confused expressions.

"You want to keep her for longer?" Esme parroted. "You've never been a huge fan of dogs…"

_Fuck, just rip off the band aid. _

"Look, something happened a few days ago -."

"Something happened? What happened? Are you okay?" Esme was very quick to jump in.

"Let the boy finish, Es'."

Thankful for my father's input, I continued to tell the story. "Yes, something happened, and Nora is a big part of that, which is why I think it might be best if she stays with me just for a little while longer until… until I can get things sorted."

There was a deep silence for several seconds before Esme jumped in again. "And? Is that all we're going to get?"

My hands squeezed around the steering wheel as my foot pressed harder on the gas. It was almost like when I had to tell Emmett about Bella's arrival - how do you mention something as large as this without getting an overreaction? I suppose it's the band air scenario all over again. "Have you heard about Isabella Swan?"

This time it was Carlisle who spoke up. "The young lady who went missing?"

"Exactly. Well it turns out that she was kidnapped and brought to Oregon, because she managed to escape and Nora found her quivering next to my car." _And exhale… _

For the first time in history, Esme was speechless. They both were.

The deafening silence filled the car for a minute, before my father spoke again. "Why has this not been in the news?"

Once the story had been told, the questions were easy to answer. "Bella only managed to escape five-six days ago, and so we're keeping a low profile until things are sorted. There is a chance that her kidnappers are still looking for her, and so we don't want to make anything too obvious right now."

"We? Wh-what is 'we'?" Esme stuttered. Shock and panic clear in her voice.

"Bella has been staying at my house since I found her outside. Her father, Charlie, made the travel from Washington, so he is there too. Emmett, of course, is involved and is being a 'translator' for lack of a better term."

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder. "You should be very proud with how you have helped this lady - your brother, too."

"I am. Bella is… dealing with a lot right now, so I want to help her however I can."

"And her health? Has that been dealt with?" Aah, Carlisle - always the doctor at heart.

"Yes. She has gone through all the necessary procedures; we're just waiting on the blood test results to come back."

"Unbelievable…"

I took the turn off for their town before continuing to talk. "It has been difficult, and because of Bella's struggles we have had to… adjust the way we would do things, but she has her comforts. Which is why I asked about keeping Nora for a bit longer."

Finally, after five minutes of saying nothing, Esme responded. "Nora is a comfort?"

"Oh, the biggest. Bella feels safe around her, I think because Nora was the one who found her and even from the second that Bella walked into the house, Nora hasn't left her side. So please, if it's okay with you, can Nora stay for a little bit longer just until we get things sorted? I really don't want to have to part them and deal with the consequences."

"Absolutely. This poor girl clearly needs my baby more than we do right now."

I shot my mother a smile, thanking her silently. I knew they wouldn't have had an issue with it, but it was nice to hear it. Suddenly, before anything else could get said, my car filled with the sound of my phone ringing. _Charlie Swan _appeared on the screen.

"Shit." I pressed accept. "Charlie?"

Before Charlie could respond, the sound of sobs echoed through. "_Edward, she's not coping. I've tried everything." _

"Okay, okay. How long has it been going on for?"

Charlie laughed, but his laugh held no humor. _"Since the second you left the house?" _

If my guilt wasn't bad enough already, that tipped it over the edge. "Fuck. Okay, so I'll be at my parent's house in ten minutes, and then it'll take -."

"Turn the car around, Edward. She needs you more than we need our house right now." Esme spoke quietly from beside me. "We can wait. It doesn't sound like she can."

I knew there was a reason why I loved my parents. Checking each side-view mirror, I made a hasty u-turn in the middle of the road, my foot pushing further on the gas. "Right, Charlie, forget that - I'm coming home now. I'll be thirty minutes maximum."

_"Excellent. I'll let her know."_

"Put her on for a second, and I'll talk to her."

_"Okay." _A scuffle was heard as Charlie passed the phone over to Bella and told her who was on the phone.

"Bella?" I noticed the automatic change in my voice.

_"…Edward." _She cried.

"Hey, why are you crying? I promised you, remember?"

_"…Promise." _

"Yeah, and I always keep my promises. Is Nora beside you?"

_"…Nora."_

"Good, Nora and Charlie are there, and in thirty minutes I'll be there too." She continued to sob. "Please don't cry, Sweetheart. I know you're scared, but I'm on my way home now and nothing will happen to you. Don't let the fear in your head take control. You have more power than it does."

Bella didn't respond, but from the sniffles, I knew she was still crying. I changed the subject. "Did you find a movie to watch? I hope you did, and I hope you found your favorite movie - mine always makes me feel better when I don't feel good. How about we watch some more Friends later? Phoebe can make you smile again."

_"Smelly… cat."_

I smiled at her words. I feared that she may have stopped talking, and I don't think we could have coped if that happened. "I'll find a video on YouTube of Phoebe playing Smelly Cat and you can watch it on repeat for as long as you want, deal?"

For the next ten minutes I continued to ramble on, asking questions that she wouldn't answer, with the hope that she would hear my voice and realize that I had kept my promise. I could have happily continued to talk until I pulled up into my drive way, but Charlie took over the call announcing that Bella needed the bathroom, but the sign for Middleton was five minutes away, so even if Bella began to cry again, it wouldn't have been for long. I hung up the call and had it not been for the fact that I was driving, I probably would have turned into a shaking, anxious mess.

"Edward," I turned to Esme and noticed tears that dropped down her cheeks. "How can we help her? What can _I _do?"

"Honestly? You already are helping her by allowing Nora to stay longer."

"Can we meet her? I feel like holding her in my arms and not letting go, and then letting all my anger out on whoever hurt her."

_Join the line; we all want to do that right now. _

"I don't know about meeting her just yet. I mean, she met Rose the other day and it was incredible, but she's very scared of strangers. I'll ask her."

"Son," Carlisle broke through from the back seat. "Let Bella take all the time she needs. From that call alone it is clear that you are doing an incredible job, and we'll only be an added extra."

There wasn't much else to say on that situation, and before I knew it we were driving into my yard. I barely had the car in park before I was running up the yard and into the house. Bella was in her usual spot and in her usual blankets, she held out her arm for me with a weak smile on her face.

"I told you I'd return." I sat down beside her and held her hand. "I'm home now, see?"

"…Edward."

Nora jumped up to put her paws onto my knees, she must have missed me too. "Hey, Nora reminds me of something. I have some good news for you." Bella frowned, but didn't say anything. "So, remember yesterday I showed you pictures of my parents? Well I just picked them up from the airport, and they have said that Nora can stay here."

"…Nora."

"Yes, Nora will stay here until you are ready to go home with Charlie." From the smile on Bella's face, I could see just how much this meant to her. "They are wanting to meet you, by the way, but only if you want to meet them."

She looked unsure, and brought her bottom lips between her teeth again. I took that as my answer. "It's okay - I know you're not feeling great right now, so I don't want to push you any further. I'll go and say goodbye to them, and let them know that you can meet them later, okay?"

Bella nodded as tears coated her eyes once again. "Hey, you don't need to cry. Everything is okay now." I stood from the couch and left the room to find Carlisle and Esme in the foyer talking to Charlie.

"Bella isn't in her best form right now, so she can't handle meting strangers right now, but I think she'll want to do it another time soon, if that's okay with you?"

Esme brought me in for a hug and kissed my cheek. "You do whatever is best for her. Your father and I can get a cab home, and we'll drop everything in order to return when the time is right."

"I'm sorry, mom. I would drive you now, but I don't want to leave her again this evening." I knew the money was no object for them, but I still felt bad that they had to get a cab when I was supposed to take them home.

"Oh, shush, Edward Anthony! We were the ones to suggest it."

My parents said their goodbyes to Charlie and Esme phoned for a cab whilst Carlisle collected the suitcases from the back of my car. It wasn't long before a car pulled up outside and after giving both my parents a hug, they got in and drove away.

0-0

**August 29th, 2018**

**Edward**

**3:24AM**

At first I didn't know what had woken me up, that was until I noticed the loud, constant vibration against the wood of my nightstand. With sleepy eyes I focused just enough to see that Emmett was calling me. "Hello?" I answered with a gravely voice.

_"Edward, I need to talk to you. We had a call a few hours ago, some old lady found a body behind the old ballet school near your house. Paramedics got there as soon as they could, but it was too late. She'd been dead for hours."_

"Jesus Christ, that's terrible. What happened? That's just a few blocks from here."

_"The girl had been pretty horribly killed, her hands were tied. I don't really want to go into details, but there's something you should know. When we looked over the body for forensics, we found something. We untied her hands, and someone had carved words into the palms of her hands."_

"Fucking hell, this is sick. What did it say?"

_"Bella Swan did this."_

0-0.

**I know, I know, I'm a bitch. Also, Nora didn't seem too fond of that lady… hmm? ;-) **

**I am currently off work for the next five days because I'm sick and need to be careful with this virus going around, so luckily for you I have time to write the next chapter… **

**I hope you are all safe and well and that this chapter caused you some distraction during your self-isolation. If you'd like to be kept up to date with my uploads, then make sure to follow RosieRathbone FanFiction on Facebook. **

**A huge thank you to my fiancé, Christopher for helping me finish this chapter, and please let me know what you thought! **


	10. Chapter 9

**This is the chapter that you've all been waiting for… well, one of them. To all of those who think this story is going 'too slowly', this is what you are looking for. **

Hereafter

Chapter 9.

**August 29th, 2018**

**Edward**

**4:04AM**

My kitchen was alive with people. Policemen that I had never seen before, and a couple that I had noticed Emmett working with. After his strange phone call, I told them to come over and we could talk about their discovery. The body of a young female had been found behind the abandoned building not ten minutes from my house, and it was all linked to Bella because of the carvings found on her hands.

"When you say a 'girl', how old are we talking?" I investigated.

Emmett scratched at the scruff on his jaw. "Mid-twenties, say about Bella's age?"

That changed things completely. "Oh, so she wasn't a child?"

"No. I…" Emmett huffed and rubbed at his face. There was something he was keeping from me. Something that he probably couldn't say out loud right now. "We need to talk to Bella. Right now."

I was afraid he was going to say that, but I understood why it was so important. Before I went to wake them up, I wanted to run one thing past Emmett. At the time it didn't seem necessary, but I thought it was best to mention it, just incase. "I had a strange… encounter the other day, it might have been nothing, but better to be safe than sorry I guess."

Emmett pulled out his notebook. I spotted how my words had caught the interest of his colleagues who stopped what they were doing to listen in. "Well? What was it?"

"I was walking Nora the other night, and when I got back a lady approached me and started up a simple conversation - nothing of importance, just about the weather, but Nora's reaction was strange. She clearly didn't get good vibes off of this lady."

"Did you recognize her? Was she another one of your neighbors?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'd never seen her before, but at the same time it was dark and I have plenty of neighbors who I've never met before. A new family moved in not too long ago, so it could have been them."

"Okay… and you said that Nora didn't get good vibes off her? What do you mean by that?"

My hands ran wild through my hair. The retelling of this story and the entire situation in general had caused my anxiety to peak. "She snarled at her, and barked. You know what Nora is like, she doesn't do that unless she feels like we're threatened."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

I felt interrogated, but I knew Emmett was only doing his job. "Because it didn't seem overly important - not until you mentioned a murder that happened a stone's throw from here."

"Can you describe her?"

I thought back to the encounter and listed off every detail that I could recall. "She wore all dark clothing… and either a jacket, or a hoodie and a jacket because she had the hood up, which stopped me from seeing her hair… She had a young face…Pale complexion." I stopped there after seeing Emmett and his friends all eye each other. I had tipped them off with something. "What?" I broke their silent conversation.

"No, no it's nothing. Can you get Bella for us now?"

The dismissal of my question told me that it wasn't 'nothing', but I let that slide and did as Emmett asked. Before going into the spare room I went to take my anxiety meds to keep my mind at rest, and then knocked gently on the door. Charlie was sitting up in the bed when I entered the room, he must have been awake when all the men arrived.

"Something serious has happened… the police need to talk to Bella."

As Charlie woke Bella from her slumber, I called Nora to heel and had her follow me downstairs. Emmett knew that Bella would have felt more comfortable in the living room and with as few people as possible, so he had set up a mini office using the coffee table and had brought in two extra chairs from the kitchen. Along with Emmett, two of the detectives sat in the room, whilst the others kept themselves in the kitchen. I knew that Emmett couldn't do the interrogation himself, simply because of his friendship with Bella.

It was clear in her eyes that Bella was not happy with the situation, she was terrified and vulnerable, but allowed Charlie to sit her down on the couch. I sat back and away from the set up. I wanted Bella to be able to see me, but I didn't want to come across as part of the situation.

"Hey, Bella," Emmett crouched beside her with his charming smile and caring voice. "I know this all seems quite intimidating, but something happened last night which we need to talk to you about. I understand that it's difficult for you to talk, but I would love it if you could find the courage to say even just a few words? We won't be able to give them the justice they deserve if we don't have anything to go off of. Do you think you can do that?"

Bella looked around the room, biting her nails aggressively. With a slight move of her head, she nodded.

"Excellent. Okay, so my buddies are going to ask you some questions, but just imagine that it is me that's asking you them. You'll never be alone, and if there is a question that you find too hard to answer, then all you have to do is shake your head, and they'll move on to the next one."

**Bella. **

Emmett introduced me to Detective David Fairweather and Detective Theo Barnes. Both men were tall and well built like Emmett, and their size definitely intimidated me, however when they spoke they had very gentle voices and told me to call them by their first names. David brought out a voice recorder and informed me that they'd need to record our conversation incase it had to be used in court. He spoke into the recorder, stating the court case, my name, the time and the date.

"I will be asking you some questions, and I will need you to answer them as honestly as possible. Does that all make sense, Bella?" I nodded my head, however that was not what David was looking for. "I'm sorry, because this is being recorded I will need you to verbalize your answers."

"…Yes."

I wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. My fingernails were getting dangerously short from all the biting I had done to them. Nora sat at my left side, Charlie at my right. I was surrounded by people that I trusted, however it didn't stop the nerves from taking over.

"First of all I'm going to show you some pictures, and if you recognize anything in them, I would like you to tell me, okay?"

I watched carefully as Theo took four pieces of paper out from the pile that he held and slid them over the table for me to see. Each one was of the same building, only from different angles. I had never seen the outside of where I was kept, but the windows were the same - the shape and where they sat were similar. I twisted my hands in my blanket. I wasn't crying yet, but I knew it wouldn't take long for the tears to appear.

_I remember the _"…windows" _that sat above the _"…mirrors."

James took advantage of the mirrors. He enjoyed making me watch as he used his belt and boots. Over and over again.

"The windows?" David spoke up. "You recognize those?"

"…Yes."

"Anything else that stands out?"

I looked closer at the pictures. I didn't recognize the surrounding areas, or the old signs that were pictured above the old main doors… Doors…

_A loud steel door shut, followed by the sound of chains as The Coven locked me inside with them. The natural daylight was lost, I could only make out the occasional shadow cast over by the lantern in the corner. His evil laugh filled the room. Danger was coming. _

"Bella?" David broke me from my trance.

"…Doors." I mumbled and pointed at one in particular.

"The side doors? Is that how you entered the building?"

_I didn't enter the building, _"…only The Coven" _would. _

Charlie squeezed my hand in support. It was almost like someone had shoved a burning hot rod down my throat - it was tight and sore from the pressure I had put on myself to talk. I knew it was going to get easier with time, but for now I was finding it very difficult.

Theo took back the pictures. David adjusted how he sat. "Bella, during your time with them, did you ever see James and Victoria with anyone else? Did they bring anyone back to that building, or did you see anyone when you first arrived?"

"…No."

"Okay… and the night that you left that place, can you tell me how that happened? How you managed to escape?"

I understood why he had to ask me all these questions, but I wish that he didn't. It didn't make them any easier to answer. I didn't know how I was going to answer.

Before I could respond to him, I looked around the room and counted every person. Five - the same amount as when I walked in. No-one else had entered, and no-one had left. I caught eyes with Edward, he gave me a wink and a smile, silently telling me that I'm brave enough to get through this.

"James…" _liked to play a _"…game." _It was a game that he called _"…The Hunt." _He would _"…set me free" _so that he can get a kick out of _"…hunting me down."

The Hunt was James' obsession. He wouldn't stop until he won and it was over.

_That night I was _"…told to run", _I didn't know where to, so I _"…kept walking".

My throat was on fire now.

_In the background I heard _"…James…scream." _He was angry, but I _"don't… know why." _I stopped because of the scream, and that was when _"…Nora…found me." _I think _"Victoria… helped me."

"Victoria helped you? Why would she help you?"

"I… don't know." _Victoria was in the "…_same situation"_ before me, I think she _"…wanted" _me to be _"…free."

"Victoria was in the same situation? Was she kidnapped by James too?"

Before I could respond, I thought back to the night that Victoria sat next me. She thought I was asleep, and started to talk. I heard every word. She spoke about her childhood, and how one day, when she was walking home from school, James approached her… and she never saw her family again. She was fifteen at the time. For ten years she was taken all around the country. James made her use a different name.

Her real name was Cara, but he put on this false pretence that they were married, and enjoyed travelling the country, experiencing all of its glory. I remember hearing the emotion in her voice, this is not a life that she wanted me to experience, but she had to follow James' instructions, and when he voiced his idea of kidnapping someone else, she had to go along with it. Every time she hurt me, starved me, laughed at me, it was because of him. Everything was because of him, she was simply a victim like me.

_Victoria's real name is _"…Cara", _she went _"…missing… ten years ago."

I watched as Emmett, David and Theo all looked at each other. A cold missing persons case was about to be reopened and solved, all because of me, because I told them the truth. Perhaps my talking had more advantages than disadvantages?

"Bella, I want to thank you for telling us all of that. However, there is something we need to run past you." David took a deep breath before continuing to talk. "Last night, the body of a woman was found next to the abandoned ballet studio where you were kept… I need to know whether you recognize this woman."

My body trembled in fear. Someone had died… someone had been murdered.

Once again, Theo slid over another photo. I didn't want to look at it, but I knew I had to. My entire body turned to ice when I took a glimpse of the headshot in front of me. With the flick of my hand, I pushed the photo away and fell into Charlie. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The photo didn't show me how she died, which I was thankful for, and at least she had a peaceful look on her face. She was at peace now.

"Bella, can you tell me who that is?"

"…Victoria."

_I'm so sorry. You never deserved this. _

_You helped me get free, and this is what you get for it. I'm so sorry._

"Thank you, Bella. I know that can't have been easy for you."

Nobody spoke for the next few minutes. Nora had felt the distress in the room, so she put her head on my lap to offer comfort in any way that she could. After some time, David announced that he needed to talk to Emmett. All three of them left the room, leaving just Charlie, Edward and myself.

"You did so well, Bells." Charlie kissed my forehead.

Edward also got up off of his seat to crouch down beside Nora. His eyes were red, like he had been crying. I uncurled one arm from around my stomach and reached out to stroke his cheek.

_You're _"…sad."

Edward smiled, "I'm more angry than sad, but don't worry about me. I'm so proud of you for saying everything that you did."

It had to be done.

We all went back to our original places. I started to get impatient and anxious, it seemed like forever until the three men joined us again. By the look of the clock, it had been at least a half-hour. Emmett had brought me a glass of water while I waited, "for your throat' he whispered. I liked how he always knew what I needed.

"Bella…" David started. He was no longer using the recorder, so I knew this was now a conversation, and no longer a questioning. That calmed me slightly. "Before you came downstairs this evening, Edward told us of a lady who spoke to him the other night. It might have been nothing, but we don't want to take any chances."

I looked over at Edward, his face was very pale. Almost like he was about to be sick.

David continued to talk. "His description of her was vague, but because of how the dog reacted to her, and because we are so close to the ballet studio, it only makes sense that this young lady was Victoria, quite likely out looking for you."

Edward spoke to Victoria? Was she outside the house? Was James there too?

The tremors started up again.

"You can't be sure of that, surely?" Charlie asked, taking my quivering body in his arms.

"No, we cannot. However, when Bella arrived she was wearing James' clothing, which obviously would have had a scent on them. Edward mentioned that the dog acted differently then normal. It's not out of the question that she would have picked up on the scent, which sparked a reaction."

"Okay…"

"Obviously, there is a lot of new information here, but our initial theory is that James wasn't happy when Victoria came home without you, and so he took his anger out on her. It is possible that they have either marked out these houses, or were suspicious of this house in general. Perhaps they were watching it, or recording any movements."

I'm not safe here anymore. That is what he was trying to tell me.

_I need _"…to leave."

"Yes. Until we have him in custody, it'll be much safer for you if you weren't here anymore."

But what about Emmett, and Rose, Nora and… Edward. Will I be able to still see them?

Charlie spoke for me again. "So what are you suggesting? A safe house? Forks?"

David shrugged. "I'll leave that decision up to you, Chief. Right now, Bella has no real reason to stay here. You'll only need to return when he is found, and the courts need you. So if you'd like to go home, Bella, there is really nothing stopping you."

But there is a lot stopping me. Do I want to go home? Yes. Do I want to leave these people behind? No.

"We will get in touch with psychologists who can help you when you're at home, or you can do that yourself, Chief. Either way, we think it'll be best for your development, if you go home to where you are familiar."

I looked over at Edward. He sent me a smile, but it never reached his eyes. I then turned my gaze to Emmett, and finally down to Nora. In the short time I had been here I had grown fond of all three of them. It was the right thing to do, but at what sacrifice?

With a quiver in my lips, and tears in my eyes, I spoke to the room. The pain in my throat was unbearable.

"Please. I don't… want to go."

0-0

**Please don't hate me. This had to happen. **

**We have learnt a lot more about Bella's story, and don't worry - the other questions, will be answered in time. **

**Thank you for kind words, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be uploaded, but I'll keep you all informed on RosieRathbone FanFiction on Facebook - make sure to come and join us!**

**What did you think? Let me know! **


	11. Chapter 10

**Tissue warning - you might want to have some nearby if you cry easily. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 10.

**August 29th, 2018  
****Edward  
****5:30AM**

Emmett and his detective friends packed up their stuff and left the house. They thanked us for our time, and especially thanked Bella for all of the information that she could offer. The couple of hours that they were here was hard for everyone involved, but I knew it had taken a lot out of Bella. She continuously rubbed her throat with a look of discomfort. I had asked her if there was anything I could do to help, but she just continued to tell me that it hurt. In my bathroom I managed to find some throat lozenges, and I always had some tea in the kitchen for whenever my mother of sister came for a visit, so I boiled some water, made her a cup, and took them through to her.

"Try this, I've been told it can help a sore throat." I placed down the mug and handed her the packet of lozenges. "It's berry tea, but if you don't like it then I can happily make you something else? I dunno… it's what my mother drinks when she's here."

Bella looked up at me with a thankful smile. I knew that her sore throat was down to the talking, so I wasn't worried when she didn't say much. I was amazed at how much she managed to say to the detectives.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, settling myself into the couch. With sad eyes, Bella shrugged her shoulders. She told us that she didn't want to leave, which effected me more than I thought it would, but I knew it was for the best. "Bella, if you go home with Charlie then you won't have the fear of… _him _being around the corner. You'll feel better when you're home, I assure you."

For the fist time, the look on Bella's face was a look of anger. She had never appeared angry before. "You… promised. Stay… with me." Her face scrunched up in pain and she took a sip of tea.

"I know I said that, and I'm sorry. But you need to understand that even if I'm not there in person, you can always phone me. This is for the best."

"Emmett… Rose… Nora."

I took her spare hand in mine and made her look up at me. I wish she knew how guilty I felt, maybe then she wouldn't have been as angry. "How about I come with you to Forks, and I can stay for a couple days until you're settled again? I could bring Nora with me?"

"…Forks?"

"Yeah, I'll come to Forks. Would that be okay?"

"You'll…stay."

"For a couple days, yes."

Bella nodded, however I knew it wasn't the answer that she was looking for.

0-0

After the early wake up call, we all chose to nap for a couple hours. We had left Bella to sleep on the couch with Nora as her blanket. Charlie found me in the kitchen, typing away furiously on my laptop as I attempted to catch up on as much work as possible.

"Mind if I fix myself a cup?" Charlie thumbed towards the coffee maker.

"Be my guest." I signed off my last email, closed the laptop and turned around in order to face Charlie. "So what's the decision?"

"This morning was a big wake-up call for us. I know Bella doesn't like it, but deep down she knows where she needs to be."

"Yeah. I told her I could join you for a couple days to help her settle in, if that's okay with you, of course."

Charlie grinned and scratched at the harsh stubble that had formed over the last few days. "I have a lot to thank you for, son. If it wasn't for you and your family, I'd still be looking for her. So yes, I'd say it's okay."

"No need to thank me." I threw some bread into the toaster. "When are you thinking of leaving then?"

With a shrug, Charlie took a gulp from his coffee cup. "Probably tomorrow morning. I don't want to drag it out too long for her; especially if that creep is lurking around."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

I grabbed my popped toast, thinking about what Charlie had asked me. Of course things were going to be different - this last week had thrown me, but it wouldn't take me long to return to my normal lifestyle. "Once I've caught up on all my work, life will be back to normal for me."

"That isn't what I mean, Edward." Charlie smirked. "If that guy has pin-pointed this house, you'll also need to watch out. At least until things die down and he's behind bars where he belongs."

For whatever reason I hadn't thought about my own safety. I mean, James is clearly a psychotic son of a bitch, and who knows what he is capable of doing, but it never even entered my mind that I'd also need to find a place to chill. "Shit, you've got a point there."

"Always do, Edward. Always do."

0-0

For the first time in two weeks, I changed the route for Nora's morning walk. It made me feel slightly nauseous that our usual walk lead us past the ballet studio where Bella was held captive. I wondered how many times I had passed that building when she was in there, without a care in the world and completely none the wiser. Sometimes, when I walked by myself, I would throw on some headphones and allow the distraction of music to keep me walking. Had she ever been calling out for help? Would I have heard her had I not been listening to music? That thought alone sent shivers down my spine.

Instead of heading towards the ballet studio, I went in the opposite direction and strolled past the houses that made up my cul-de-sac. I often would walk where there would have been less people, but for once I invited the strangers. Who knows, maybe I'd end up talking to one of them? If Bella can prove how brave she can be, why can't I?

I reached the end of the street of houses and turned up onto the woodland path that lead to a large, open field. Once we had reached the field I let Nora off her leash to allow her to run and fully stretch her legs. My phone vibrated in my pocket as I was wandering across the grass. I took a look at the screen and answered the call.

"Hey, Rose."

_"__Edward, hi. Emmett told me about everything that went down with Bella this morning."_

I smiled at her words. Rosalie has always been a caring person, however it really meant a lot that she helped Bella the way she did, and had offered her help to her. "Yeah, her dad is hoping to leave tomorrow."

_"__Do you think it would be okay if I came by, so that I can see Bella before she leaves?" _

"Of course; I know that Bella would love to see you again."

_"__Excellent! I finish work at five." _

"Perfect. Do you want me to let her know, or keep it as a surprise?"

_"__Er… I'll leave that up to you. You know her better than I do, after all." _

"No problem. I'll see you later?"

_"__Absolutely. Thank you, Edward."_

We ended our brief phone call and I continued on with my walk, watching Nora race around the field. I couldn't help but think about what Charlie had told me over breakfast, that I, too, was in a dangerous position. I had wondered if Emmett would allow me to stay with them for a short time, but I didn't want to put that pressure on them. Alice and Jasper currently live in a one bedroom apartment, so that was out of the question. My only option was to ask my parents if my old room was available. They would take me back in a heart beat, but I had lived by myself since I had graduated college seven years ago, so I wasn't used to sharing a house anymore. I suppose in a time like this beggars can't be choosers.

Nora plodded happily by my side for the rest of the journey home. Bella greeted us excitedly when we returned, and even though Nora's paws were covered in mud from the walk, it didn't stop Bella from bringing Nora's front paws up onto her knees and throwing herself into a cuddle. Bella wasn't stupid, she knew that her time with Nora was limited and wanted to get as much time with her as possible. Even if it meant covering her newly washed pajamas in mud.

Looking at her pajamas reminded me of a plan I had thought of whilst I was outside, because she was distracted I chose that free minute to run upstairs and into my bedroom. The only clothes Bella owns are the ones that she was currently wearing, and any clothes that I offered her would have been far too big, however I thought she might have preferred changing into something different for the long drive tomorrow. In my closet I found the box that was labelled '_sweat pants' _\- Alice once had a field day when she organized this for me, before hand I would throw my clothes onto any free shelf or hanger.

I took out a pair of pants, and then moved onto the next box for t-shirts. I rummaged around and found one that I no longer wore. It was my old Oregon University t-shirt, deep green in color and with a cartoon duck on the front, it was far too small for me now, and would be too big for Bella, but it was probably the best thing I would find. She still had some new socks left from the pack that Rose bought, and shoes would have been out of the question anyway seeing as she still doesn't have the strength to walk just yet, and so with that, my outfit was complete.

I took the two items back downstairs with me and placed them neatly on the table in the living room. Bella peered at them quizzingly. I answered her silent question for her. "I thought you might want some different clothes to wear when you go home? If not I can get those pajamas washed and dried for you before you leave."

With a weak body Bella carefully hunched forward and stroked the t-shirt. "Thank…you," she said with a smile.

"You're welcome. Also that t-shirt is too small for me now anyway, so if you want to keep it, it's yours."

Bella looked up at me, a frown noticeable between her eyebrows. "…keep it?"

"Yes. I know you want me to stay with you, and I'm sorry that I can't provide that, but you can have one of my shirts if you want, and then you'll have something of mine with you?"

Bella didn't respond with words, instead she scrunched up the t-shirt in one hand and pulled it back with her, holding it to her chest. That told me everything that I wanted to hear. Leaving her in a couple of days was going to be sad, but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do.

I relaxed onto the couch and tapped her hand with mine. "You know how brave you were this morning? Well that bravery inspired me to do something today."

"…brave?"

"You were incredibly brave, and when I took Nora on her walk I went in the direction of other people, because if you can do it then anyone can." I knew that she was confused with what I was saying, so I continued to talk and helped clarify what I meant. "I suffer with anxiety, and part of that is social anxiety which can make it very difficult for me to be around strangers, or people in general. Today I walked past my neighbor's houses with a high chance that they might be outside and come up and talk to me, to prove to myself that it is possible."

The smile on her beamed. "Well… done."

I had to laugh at the irony of her congratulating _me. _"It isn't as monumental as your courage but I am proud of myself. This is why I live alone in a very small town, and only really go out once a week when Emmett and Jasper make me. I've suffered with it for a long time, but I've found ways to deal with the tough parts."

"…ways?"

"Er, for example I try and keep myself to myself and I don't get involved with anything major only because the anxiety usually ends up biting me in the ass, but reading and driving comforts me, so I often find myself reading for hours on end, or getting into my car and driving until I get lost and have to find my way home again."

Bella smirked, and I think deep down she was laughing. It was then when I realized how ironic my words were. "…me?" Her one word statements were proving difficult to decode, but at least she used the key words and I tried to fill in the blanks.

"Yes, I know how strange that sounds. Funnily enough, the day that you arrived a report of you was on the news - Emmett and Jasper were really interested in your story but I had to leave the situation to calm myself down, but when I saw how scared you were, and how much you needed my help, I didn't think about how it would effect me. Your safety was more important at that moment, and I could not have lived with myself if I hadn't brought you inside."

Bella took a couple deep gulps to ready her throat before saying: "thank you… Edward. For… saving me."

I felt the tell-tale sign of tears forming in my eyes. I had never been so emotional before this last week. "You never need to thank me. I only did what was right, and what any other person would have done. However I am glad it was me that could help you."

0-0

I decided not to tell Bella that Rosalie was arriving almost like a social experiment; I wanted to see how Bella reacted to positive surprises like this one. I knew she was fond of my sister-in-law, so I wasn't worried about freaking her out. I received a message shortly after five o'clock from Rosalie, telling me that she had just left her work and would be at my house soon.

At five-forty I had a message saying that she was outside. Bella was watching another re-run of Friends. "Someone is here to see you, Bella." I smiled at her confused expression, but said nothing more and stood to answer the door. Rosalie stood at my doorstep in her yoga pants and blue Oregon Zoo t-shirt that stretched over her pregnant stomach. In her hand was a large gift bag.

"Living room?" Rose whispered. After I my confirmation, she proceeded into the room and poked her head around the door. "Hey, beautiful!"

From where I stood I couldn't see Bella's reaction, but her excited "Rose!" Told me everything that I needed to know.

"I wanted to come and see you before you went home, is that okay?"

Charlie and I took our seats, but Rose stayed beside Bella after giving her a gentle hug. "How is everything going?" She asked, even though she knew things hadn't been brilliant recently. We were all interested in what Bella's response was going to be.

"I… go home."

"I know, but it's not that far away, and we can still be friends, right?" Bella nodded. "Good! Also you'll come and visit the baby when she's born?"

"…baby."

"It wouldn't be right if you didn't get a cuddle with her."

For the next little while Rose spoke to Bella about everything, and had her talking as much as she could. She mentioned that she worked with red pandas today and helped to sort out their new enclosure. Rosalie mentioned that the animals are endangered and so it is very important to make sure they stay safe and settled in their surroundings. In my head I could visualise the wide, open plains that the animals had to roam around in. I knew that Rosalie was only saying this to keep Bella entertained, but from the glee in her eyes it was clear to see that Bella loved every word.

"I'm a zoologist, so I work get to spend my days playing with all the different animals that we look after. Do you want to know who I played with today?" Bella's face lit up like a child on Christmas. "I worked with Sung-Surin (or, Shine, as we like to call her). She is an Asian elephant."

"Elephant."

"Yep! Shine is my best friend, so I spent ages playing with her and the other elephants. Maybe when you feel better I could take you on a tour and we can spend the day with Shine, lemurs, giraffes, but we also have a rabbit house which I think you'll enjoy."

After an hour of talking, Rosalie mentioned that she couldn't stay too much longer, but that she had a present for Bella. She brought the gift bag from the side of the couch to her feet but kept it closed with two fingers. "I saw this as I was leaving, and I know it's not exactly the same, but I thought it might bring you some sort of happiness and comfort." She reached into the bag and brought out a giant plushie, once the whole thing was out of the bag I noticed that it was a dog with the exact same colorings as Nora.

"Nora…"

"Like I said the breeds aren't the same, however their markings are and I thought you might enjoy having your own Nora to cuddle when you get scared?"

Bella eagerly pulled the toy in for a hug and the whole thing went from her head to her waist. Rosalie had really outdone herself with this one. With glassy eyes Bella squeezed the dog and whispered, "thank… you."

"You are more than welcome."

"My… Nora."

0-0

**August 30th, 2018.**

The next morning was difficult for everyone. Emmett dropped by the house to say goodbye. He wrapped Bella in his arms and gave her a quick kiss on the head, and shook Charlie's hand. I overheard Charlie thanking Emmett for everything he had done, and that they would be in touch when things with the story progressed. I had packed a bag for the couple days I'd stay in Forks, but I had another suitcase ready for when I stayed with my parents. As I thought, they were thrilled that I wanted to stay with them, even if the situation wasn't the best. They also had no issue at all that I took Nora with me to Forks.

Bella had been unusually quiet since the minute she had woken up. Usually she would answer my questions with a word, or sometimes two, but this morning she said nothing. As Charlie got their things together, I made Bella some breakfast - toast with strawberry jelly and a glass of orange juice. She accepted the food, but didn't thank me for it like she normally would.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked whilst enjoying my own breakfast. Bella nodded, however her sad eyes gave me a different answer. "I know you don't want to go, but you'll be safer there."

Bella nibbled away at her toast like a tiny mouse. She didn't say a word until everything was ready, she had been changed into the clothes I gave her, and we were heading to the car. "…goodbye." Had I not have been carrying her to the car, I wouldn't have heard her small whisper.

"What are you saying goodbye too?"

Bella's head lolled against my shoulder. "Goodbye." She repeated just as silently.

I didn't ask her again, but I had a suspicion that she was saying goodbye to that terrible time in her life. Perhaps saying goodbye to James and Victoria. I don't know. Charlie was already putting their two bags into the trunk of his car, I stood Bella down and helped her take the small steps into the passenger seat. Her new plushie Nora took up her entire lap, and I could just tell it was going to stay there.

"Edward."

I clicked the seatbelt into place. "Yes?" I asked as I straightened up again.

"Stay."

I rubbed her shoulder. "See that car over there?" I pointed towards the Volvo that sat on my drive. "I will be following you in that car the entire way, I promise. Whenever you're not sure, just look through the mirrors and you'll see me, okay?" It looked as though she didn't believe me, but I knew that in time she would.

Because of Nora's size the best place for her to lie was across the back seats of my car. I clipped the harness into the seatbelt buckle, so that she could still move around and sit up or lie down, but it would keep her safe. The footwell of the passenger side was full of my bag plus Nora's water bowl and other essential items. Before Charlie and I started our engines we planned our first pit stop an hour into the drive, and with that confirmed we hit the road.

At the first set of traffic lights that we came too I spotted Bella looking at me through the side mirrors, just to double check that I was still following them. I sent her a quick wave before the lights turned to green. We had experienced a lot of highs and lows during the week that Bella was here, but I think the hardest thing was still to come.

What would happen when I leave her in a few days time?

0-0

**Quick life update: the last few days have been really difficult for me mentally because of everything going on in the world right now - if you are part of my Facebook group then you may have seen the story and what has been going on. I have currently stopped working, and won't be for the foreseeable future, however because my anxiety has taken such a knocking, I will be taking a few days to relax before I start the next chapter. **

**Talking about Facebook, if you would like to see a picture of Nora, Plushie Nora, and Edward's house then head on over there where I will be posting a visuals collage - RosieRathbone FanFiction. **

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought, and please stay safe. **


	12. Chapter 11

**Just to help clear up any confusion, because I know a lot of you were asking the same question - when Bella was kidnapped she lived in her own house in Forks, which is where she was taken from. She will now be living with Charlie, James doesn't know where that is, and Charlie will also have cops keeping an eye on both houses just incase he's stupid enough to return. Hope that helps!**

**Thank you for all the love you are giving this story and our sweet Bella. I try and get through most reviews, so I'm sorry if I missed yours out, but please know that I read and love every single one.**

**3 days in one chapter - keep an eye on the dates/times. **

Hereafter

Chapter 11

**August 30th, 2018**

**Edward**

Forks reminded me a lot like Middleton. Both were small, quaint towns where everyone knew everyone. They had their supermarkets and family businesses, but you'd need to travel out of town to get anything big. My GPS told me that it would take five hours to get here, however we had to stop every hour because, from what Charlie told me, Bella was getting very restless in the car. With those added stops it ended up taking us six and a half hours, but we all arrived safely, so I suppose that is the main thing. Plus, I had a selection of podcasts saved up, so that allowed me the time to get through majority of them.

I parked up outside the white, two storey house and, just like my own, it also had a good amount of distance between the neighbors, and with an open, grassy land on the right hand side. The street was surrounded by trees - their leaves changing from green to brown as autumn took over. As I exited my car I was quick to unclip Nora from her harness. She had been let out every time we stopped on the road, however it was always with a leash on. This time she was able to take full advantage of Charlie's front yard and ran loops around the property to let out any pent-up energy.

"I hope that's okay?" I asked Charlie as we unloaded the bags from the trunks of both cars.

"Not a problem with me. She's street smart, right? This road can get pretty busy sometimes."

"The first thing my mom taught her was to stop at road sides." Esme treats Nora like her fourth child - apart from walking and talking, she has gone through every other basic essential. It wouldn't surprise me if Nora had fucking tables manners too.

I sat with Bella in the front of the car whilst Charlie took everything inside and switched the heating back on. I know he left in a hurry, but he remembered the important things before leaving. Bella looked around her childhood home with a far-off look in her eyes. I couldn't work out if she was happy or not to be back. Plushie Nora was held tight against her chest, and I slyly snapped a picture to show Rosalie - I knew she'd appreciate seeing how much her gift meant to Bella.

"Have you always lived here?" I asked as a conversation starter.

"…thirteen." She mumbled.

"Where did you live before this?"

Bella briefly turned her head to look at me, took a deep breath and then continued scanning her surroundings. "…Phoenix with… mom."

Until that very second I hadn't heard Bella's mother being mentioned. From what I recall she wasn't in the news articles either. I didn't know for certain, but from Bella's clues I assumed that her parents were divorced. Was her mother still alive? Surely she'd be as desperate to see Bella as Charlie was? It wasn't any of my business, and what goes on in their life shouldn't concern me in the slightest, but I couldn't help but think.

Charlie was seen coming from his house a few moments later, he opened the passenger side door and crouched down to Bella's level. "It's all set up in there, Bells." I stepped from the car and called Nora to attention. Together we traveled up the green steps that lead to the front door. Nora sniffed around her new surroundings where as I gave myself a guided tour - kitchen to the left, living/dining room to the right, and stairs straight ahead. The house felt very loved and lived in, but from the mix-matched furniture and green tiles in the kitchen, you could tell that Charlie wasn't much of a decorator and accepted it the way it was.

I found a spot to place Nora's bed in the living room and put my bags against the wall so that they didn't become a hazard. I overheard Charlie asking Bella whether she wanted to go up to her old bedroom or sit on the couch, when they entered the living room I had my answer. Bella curled up on the couch with Plushie Nora against her chest, and real Nora by her feet. She was quick to pop her thumb into her mouth; a sign that things weren't going well inside her head.

I didn't want to make it obvious, but I felt slightly uneasy being in a house that wasn't my own - I didn't know where to go, or what I could do, but I was here for a reason, so I settled myself on the first available seat and pulled out a book from my backpack. In between reading I looked around the room, noticing picture frames that lined the mantelpiece; from where I sat I couldn't see the photos in them. Charlie didn't have much artwork, however I did notice the large, plastic fish that was hung on one wall, and some sort of old tribal painting on another. The unique pictures added to the feel of the house.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" I asked Bella, in hope that I could help somehow.

"Edward."

"Yes?"

She looked at me, her eyes pleading. "Stay."

So that was why she was acting strange. Not because she was home, but because she didn't want me to leave. Bella understood that I wasn't staying for long, and she didn't like it. The guilt washed over me like a cold bucket of water.

"I wish I could, but Oregon is my home. All my family are there."

Bella, unhappy with my response, turned away from me with the paw of Plushie Nora against her cheek. Thankfully Charlie chose that moment to break the awkward silence and mentioned the lack of food in the house. He was going to the local Thriftway, and wondered if we wanted anything in particular.

"I can go for you, Charlie."

"No need, Edward. Bells, do you want me to get you anything?"

Nothing.

Damn, she was pissed.

"Okay… I'll pick up some of your favorites, then."

Before he left, Charlie mentioned that some of his neighbors are nosey and they will pick up on the fact that there are now cars in his driveway again, so if anyone came to the door not to bother answering it. I wouldn't have done anyway, but I agreed nevertheless. The awkward silence returned when Charlie closed and locked the front door.

"Is there anything you want to do? Watch a movie? Take a bath?" I wasn't sure if a bath was possible, or whether Bella had the strength to do it herself, but I spoke the idea before my brain could stop me. Turned out that Bella didn't want to do any of that stuff anyway. "Do you want to read a book?"

Nothing. She didn't even look in my direction.

"Bella please, don't be mad at me. If I could stay here I would - you know that."

Her bottom lip trembled and her face broke as the tears began to fall. I was by her side in an instant and pulled her hands away from her face so that I could hold them in my own. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Y-you…pr-promised."

"I know, and I'm an asshole because of that."

"You'd…look after me."

That confession broke my heart. "Regardless of where I am in the world, I will always look after you. If you are having a bad day you can call me, and I can come and visit when the time allows."

"I'm… safe?"

"You're very safe here. Plus, Charlie is a cop right? You couldn't be any safer."

My reassurance and Bella's confession made the tense atmosphere disappear. She didn't want to do any of the things that I suggested, but I knew that if we kept her mind busy then it would stop her fears and worries taking over. So I came up with another idea.

"I want to help you with something." I didn't say any more, and as I moved Plushie Nora to one side, Bella shot me a confused look. "I'm going to set you a task, so that when I next see you, you can show to me how much you have improved." I pulled the blanket away from Bella's legs, held her hands in mine, and helped her stand from the couch. She completed the task, still just as confused. "I know that you can't walk much until you regain strength again, but I don't think it'll hurt to get some practise in."

"Edward… I-I…can't."

I smirked. "You never will with that attitude. C'mon, imagine how much better you'll feel when you can perform a simple task by yourself. Like going to the bathroom without Charlie having to carry you."

I've never taught a baby how to walk, however I don't think it would be too much different than this. Bella stood on uneasy legs and with my support she took the tiniest of steps forward with one foot, and then followed the movement with the other. Her sock-clad feet brushed against the carpet without much of a lift. I stepped back further until her arms were outstretched, and slowly she closed the distance between us.

"See! You can do it!"

Next I dropped her hands and as she stepped forward, I stepped backwards. "Edward…" Her voice was unsure, but deep down she knew that she wasn't in any harm.

"You've got this."

I continued the movement until we had made a loop around the coffee table. I asked if she needed my help to sit down again, and kept my hands ready incase I had to catch her, but with her own strength and courage, she held the arm of the couch as she lowered herself into it.

"That was amazing. After eating the right food, and doing that a couple times a day, you'll see a huge improvement. Next time I visit I want you to answer the door to me, okay?"

"When?"

"I'm not sure when that'll be, but remember you'll need to go back to Oregon for court dates and stuff. Plus you'll be too busy to even realize I've gone."

Bella's eyes rolled at my seemingly ridiculous statement. "Busy?"

"Soon you'll be set up with a therapist, so those sessions will keep you busy. I'm guessing there are things you'd like to get done too, right?" Bella nodded slowly. "What are those things? We should make a bucket list of achievements and tick them off every time you get one done."

Bella thought and twiddled a lock of hair that fell by her face. "Go… home."

_Home? But… she is home? _

"What do you mean by home?"

"My… house."

_Ooh! _

"You want to visit your old house? Are there some things you'd like to collect?" That came as a big surprise, especially as, from what I remember, her house was where she was kidnapped from. But if she wanted to go there, then I was not going to be the one to stop her. "Okay, I'll add that to the list. Anything else?"

"Walk… Nora."

Again my heart broke at her innocent request. "That obviously won't happen this time, but next time you come to Oregon, if you're strong enough, then we'll take Nora on a walk. That can be motivation for you."

"Bake."

"That's an easy one, you could bake all day if you wanted to. What do you want to bake? Or rather, what is your favorite thing to bake?"

"…Cookies… oatmeal cookies."

I smiled. "Can you save me some?"

Bella nodded and returned my smile. "Get… a routine."

I struggled to get everything typed up on the new list I had created. What really amused me about Bella was because she was still getting over her fear of talking, I found that she would just announce things as she thought of them. Usually you would continue a conversation, but because she couldn't manage that just yet, she continued her list as she thought of it.

"Drive."

"You want to drive again?"

"…Miss… my truck."

"I'm sure you'll be driving your truck again in no time."

Bella paused, and scratched Nora between her ears. "Get… a dog."

That shouldn't have been a surprise to me, but it was. "You want a dog?"

"To feel… safe."

I didn't quite know how to respond to that. I could have said that Bella doesn't need a dog to feel safe, however I knew how much safer she felt with Nora around. I also couldn't promise her anything without mentioning it to Charlie. With a smile I replied, "I'll add that to the list."

0-0

The drive must have taken it out of Bella, because shortly after dinner she all but fell asleep on the couch. Charlie mentioned fixing up the bed in her old room, and when she was taken up to bed I took that chance to take Nora on a brief walk. I had a lot on my mind, so the walk was a good way of letting off steam. I couldn't stop thinking about what Bella had said about the dog. She obviously needed this sort of companion, and it made her feel much safer in her own home, but how possible was it to tick that off her list? I had an idea, but I wasn't sure whether it would work or not.

I didn't take Nora for a long walk, only because I didn't know the area, but when I returned to the house Charlie was in the living room setting up a make-shift bed on the couch. "This'll do for you, right?" He asked, as he placed a folded blanket by the pillows.

"Of course, thank you."

He nodded and continued his activity. "Hey, Charlie, I was wanting to run something past you."

"Go ahead."

I let Nora off her leash and she was quick to leave the room in search of her food bowl. "I was asking Bella about what she wants to achieve - a bucket list, so to speak - and she mentioned getting a dog."

Charlie let out a loud, barking laugh. "She did, did she?"

"I know it's crazy, but I had an idea… Do you think she'd be approved for a service dog?"

Charlie looked over at me like I had three heads. "Go on…"

"I obviously cannot diagnose her with anything, but I'm almost certain she'll be suffering from PTSD and that would probably effect her for the rest of her life. A Psychiatric Service Dog could help her live a 'semi-normal life' - leave the house by herself, as one example."

"Okay…"

"Now, I know they're not cheap, and won't arrive over night, but if it is something that you would be interested in looking into, then I will be more than happy to help you with any costs or… whatever you might need."

"Woah," Charlie held out his hands to face me. "I cannot ask you to do anything like that."

"I'm offering. Bella is not happy that I cannot stay here, and I apologize in advance for how she may react to me leaving… but if this is something that I can help with, then I am more than happy to."

"I'm not sure… I think it'll be a very long time before she lives by herself again - if ever - and until then this house is not the right place for a dog… I understand that it's something she's after, but we can't get everything in life, and as harsh as it may sound, Bella needs to come to terms with that."

"I get you, I just thought it was best to mention so that you weren't surprised when she says it herself."

Charlie clapped my shoulder. "Thank you, I know you're just looking out for her."

Despite what Charlie had said, I couldn't help but think about the options. These dogs are trained to help eliminate any sort of triggers, even if it meant they went into a dark room to turn a light on so that their owner doesn't have to. It could really help Bella's improvement. So as I got comfy on the couch, with Nora sleeping on the floor below, I found myself Googling the organisation just out of curiosity.

0-0

**August 31st, 2018**

**3:11AM**

"Edward… Edward, wake up."

I sat up quickly to my sudden awakening. I rubbed my eyes as I tried to get my head around what was happening. Charlie was standing in front of the couch, dressed in his pajama pants and t-shirt, still clearly half asleep. Before I could ask what was going on, Bella's screams and cries filtered down from upstairs. In a fit of panic, I kicked the blanket off of my legs and stood straight up, narrowly missing Nora in the process. "How long has it been going on for?"

Charlie rubbed his own tired eyes. "All night. I left you to sleep, but she's calling for you."

All night? Was I so deeply asleep that I didn't hear her? I checked the time on my phone to see that it had only just gone three in the morning. "Okay." I could tell that Charlie was guilty for waking me up, but when Bella has an episode like this, there isn't much you can do. "Thank you."

With Nora at my heel, I ran up the stairs two at a time and followed the sound of her cries until I had found her room. She was sat up in her bed with the edges of the cover held tight in both hands. Her body arched every time she let out the harrowing noise.

"Bella, I'm here. I'm here." I sat on the floor beside her bed and rubbed her back. I couldn't help but notice the notches of her spine underneath her clothing.

"Edward! _Edward!" _

"Look at me, Bella. It's Edward; I'm here."

"H-he's… gone. H-he's… left."

A shiver ran throughout my entire body, a tell-tale sign of tears passed behind my eyes. I had no way of knowing if she was having a nightmare, or if she was in a trance, but either way it was one of the worst things I had ever experienced. I may have to see my own therapist after this just to get over the pain.

"I've not left, Sweetheart. I'm here."

Her crying stopped, but the screams continued. I'd never be able to get that piercing noise out of my mind. In between her screams she would call out my name, almost like she was begging for me to come back. I stole the space on her bed and pulled her shaking body into my arms.

"Ssh. Bella, that's not real; I've not left yet."

_Yet. _

This is what happens when she fears that I've gone. What about when I actually leave? It's going to destroy her. "Nora, up." With a click of my fingers, and in one swift movement, the large dog bounded onto the bed and brushed her head against Bella's cheeks. "Look, Nora is here for you too."

"Nora…" Blindly she felt around for Nora, and when her hands came into contact with her, Bella threw herself into the dog for a hug. "He's gone… Nora."

I shouldn't laugh, because nothing about this is amusing in the slightest, but it is funny how your mind works sometimes - Bella knows that Nora is here and is real, but she still believes that I have gone? I think it's a '_if you don't laugh, you'll cry' _moment and I was seconds away from balling like a child.

"Bella, look at me." I stroked her cheek in hope that she would turn around. "Look at me."

She slowly pulled herself away from Nora to peer around at me. Her eyes grew wide. "Edward… you… left."

"I never left, Sweetheart; I've been here this entire time."

I watched as her face crumbled and she fell into my embrace with fresh tears soaking my t-shirt. "Don't… go… home." Christ, she had the ability to pull at the strings of even the most heartless of people.

"I need to go home."

As Bella's fit settled down and she fell asleep whilst still in my arms, I battled with my head once again. Everything I know is in Oregon - my family, my job, my home. That is where I am comfortable and where my life feels most at ease. I cannot handle the stress of moving to a new town, let alone an entirely new state where I'm basically going in blind. With time and the right amount of support Bella will get over this, yeah? She'll be okay, right?

I couldn't give myself an honest answer.

She lives here, and I live there. It sucks, but that's life I suppose.

0-0

**September 1st, 2018**

**6:15PM**

I held back until the final minute before leaving. The last two days had been difficult for us all after Bella's night of terrors, so there was no way I was leaving first thing in the morning. When she woke up the morning after, I was barely allowed to go to the bathroom without the crying and callings began. I asked Charlie for some advice, but he didn't know what to do either - this was out of our control. I spent today trying to reassure Bella that I wasn't leaving forever, but she didn't believe me.

"Please…" She looked at me with her puppy eyes, rimmed with tears.

"I'll be back before you know it."

I felt her eyes on me as I threw the last of my things into my bag and made sure that I had collected all of Nora's essentials. Charlie had to go down to the police station to discuss security for Bella, but as soon as he got back I had to leave. I would have stayed an extra night, but I needed to work the next morning, especially after taking the last week off. It was a lose-lose situation, and I was not looking forward to the outcome.

Before I knew it the police cruiser was seen pulling into the drive way. I had to take several deep breaths before I sat next to Bella and pulled her frail body in for a hug. "You'll be okay without me."

"Don't… go."

"You know that I can't stay, but what if I come back for your birthday? Charlie said it was in two weeks?"

"You… promise?"

"Of course! And you'll practise your walking for me?" Bella nodded. "Thank you. See, you'll be absolutely fine. Keep working on your bucket list and prove to me how much you can achieve."

Charlie walked into the room, we shared a look of uncertainty. "Do you want to say goodbye at the door, Bells?" He helped his daughter up from the couch, and with his arm around her waist she slowly made her way to the front door. I had already taken most things to my car, so I just had the last backpack hanging off one shoulder.

"Edward…" Bella's face crumbled like it had many times before.

"Don't cry, please." I dropped the backpack to the ground and held my arms out for a hug. "C'mere." She all but threw herself into my arms, her body shook as she cried. "You're strong enough to beat this - when you put your mind to it, nothing can stop you. Prove to me how brave you are, and I'll give you a call tomorrow, okay?" I felt her head nod against my shoulder. "Now stop crying, you're going to make me start." What she didn't know was that I was seconds away from breaking down, and that as soon as I drove away the tears will start.

"Edward…"

I pulled back to take a better look. Her blushed face and bloodshot eyes broke my heart.

"Two weeks. I'll be back in two weeks and you can tell me everything you have achieved in that time."

I thanked Charlie for allowing me to stay, and he returned the gratitude for my help the last few days. Nora also received lots of love and praise, but then it was time to go and soon she was clipped back into her harness. I knew that if I hung around it would only make the situation worse, and Bella's pleads were not making it any easier.

"Edward… please."

There was nothing I could say to make her feel better, so instead I gave her a smile and a wink and reminded her that she's got this. I got into my car, closed the door and started the engine.

I couldn't get the image of her broken face out of my mind for the entire drive home.

0-0

**I know, I know. It was hard for me too. **

**The next chapter will hold two POVs, and hopefully it should be with you soon. **

**I have a teaser picture ready for the next chapter which will be uploaded soon, so head on over to RosieRathbone FanFiction if you don't want to miss it! **

**Thank you again for reading. Thoughts? **


	13. Chapter 12

**I asked you guys on Facebook whether you would like 2 POVS in this chapter, or split them into two separate chapters. The response was mixed, so instead I have put a small part of 1 POV in this chapter and then it will continue on in the next one. Does that make sense? **

**Trigger warning: this chapter holds sensitive material. You also may need tissues again. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 12

**September 2nd, 2018  
****Bella.**

Edward has gone. Nora has gone.

I only have Charlie. I don't feel safe with one person here.

The second that Edward left yesterday was the second that I broke down. My eyes sting from the acidity in my tears. I didn't sleep last night because my head was full of cruel images and reminders - every time I closed my eyes I would see James' menacing face. I don't remember screaming, but when Charlie ran into my bedroom to try and soothe my pain, I noticed that the strangled noise was coming from me.

Charlie made me breakfast, but I wasn't hungry. "You need to eat, Bella." He would try and get me to eat a spoonful of cereal, but my body refused it. I had barely swallowed it before I puked it back up again, all over the kitchen table. I didn't want to be like this, I'm aware that I need to eat, but the barricade in my head could not be moved. Every time Charlie would hold his face in his hands I wanted to apologize, I was hurting him and I had no way of stopping it. I heard him mutter that perhaps dairy products were upsetting my stomach, so he made me a slice of dry toast… I threw that up as well.

_"I'm at a loss, Bells! I don't know what to do!"_

I'm at a loss as well. My whole life has changed, and I don't know how to reverse it. For years I had had a routine - I would wake up and go to bed at the same time every day. I had set days for washing, and set days for grocery shopping. Every Sunday morning I would change the sheets on my bed. Every Sunday afternoon I would buy the food I needed for the week. I had every meal prepared and in the freezer so that my busy week didn't have to involve making lunches for work. Every little thing, even down to washing my hair, was calculated to a single minute. Now, I don't even know what time it is.

When Edward was here I roughly knew the time - he would take Nora out for a walk at 9AM and 6PM, and every walk took an hour. Dinner would be ready when he got back. After dinner I would watch one episode of Friends which lasted for thirty minutes, and then I got taken to bed. I would be in bed for 8PM every night, but apart from that I'm lost. I don't know what time I would wake up, or what time Charlie would bring me some lunch. Because Nora is no longer here I don't know the time anymore. I didn't even know the month until yesterday when Edward said that it was my birthday in two weeks. He said he would come back then. He promised.

Charlie ran me a bath. I didn't want one, but the vomit that covered Edward's Oregon t-shirt made me feel dirty. Whilst in the bathroom Charlie helped me undress and step into the water, but then he left me to do the rest. Well, I made him leave so that I could do the rest. I needed to prove to Edward that I am strong enough to do this.

I hated how my naked body looked - everything was so much smaller and so much thiner than it had ever been before. My fingers were basically bone with a coating of skin. My veins practically glowed. I have always had a pale complexion, but this time it was worse. I think they describe it as 'deathly pale'. I hated my torso the most - the small breasts that I did have, were now gone and had been replaced with the curves of my rib cage. I don't want to look like this; it isn't my fault. The only time I would get food when I was with The Coven was when they couldn't finish what was on their plate, or a sandwich every couple of days. Apart from that, I only drank water. It is a wonder that I'm still alive.

I tried to wash my hair with the jug that Charlie had left on the side, but as soon as it came to applying the shampoo I had used up all my energy. I couldn't do it. I couldn't prove to Edward that I was strong enough. I had failed.

Curled up against the side of the bath, with a dollop of shampoo slowly making its way down my head, I cried. I sobbed.

"Bella?" Charlie called me from the other side of the bathroom door. He must have heard my wails. "Hey, what's happened?" He crouched beside me and helped me sit back up again. "C'mon let's sort you out, shall we?" I held my knees tight to my chest as Charlie took over. I felt like a child. I looked like a child.

"I had a call from Edward just then. Do you want to call him back once we're all finished?"

I nodded. The mental barricade had also affected my speech.

After the bath I was changed into some clothes that Charlie must have taken from my old house. It was a pair of leggings and a purple hoodie. The clothing hung off me like a loose bed sheet. I was carried back to the living room where Plushie Nora waited for me.

"Okay, before we phone Edward I need you to eat something. It's for your own good, Bells."

Charlie had a bowl of strawberries cut up and ready for me. He knows how much I love strawberries… but my stomach didn't like them at that moment. I needed to try, so I picked up the smallest bit between two fingers but the moment that it touched my lips I threw the piece away from me with rage pulsing throughout my body. I squeezed Plushie Nora in my arms and cried into the soft material. I wanted the real Nora, and the real Edward.

"What can I do? How can I make this better?"

My body trembled, but I couldn't understand whether it was from the lack of food in my system, or the pain that surged through me.

"I just need one word. Please can you tell me how to help." I saw the sadness in my father's eyes. "One word…"

I felt my throat tighten as I whispered, "…N-Nora."

Like before with breakfast, Charlie's hand covered his face as he groaned loudly. I needed Nora - she kept me safe and stopped the bad thoughts from entering my head, but he couldn't get Nora. Charlie wasn't able to provide me with the one thing that I required. It hurt him that he couldn't help me.

"Okay… okay…" He ran one hand through his hair as he located his cell phone with the other. Charlie wasn't exactly up to date with technology and still had trouble working his own phone, but after a minute I watched as he brought the Nokia to his ear. "Edward, I need your help."

_Edward! He's there! He's on the phone. _

"She hasn't eaten a single thing, and she throws up as soon as does… Yeah, I'll pass you over, but she's not saying much…"

I held out my hand eagerly for the phone. His voice drifted through the phone before it was even at my ear. _"Hey, Sweetheart. Are you okay?" _

I shook my head, even though he had no way of seeing it.

My whimpers answered Edward's question. _"Why have you stopped talking?"_

Because I'm scared. Because I've lost the strength to speak.

_"Charlie said you were having a bath when I rang earlier. I bet that must have felt good, right?" _

_I _"f-f-f…" I couldn't finish the word. The barricade dropped.

_"That's it, keep going. Think of the word, Bella."_

I liked how patient he was with me. I didn't say anything for at least a minute, but Edward stayed silent and allowed me the chance to build up my confidence. _I _"f-f-f… failed."

_"What do you mean by 'failed'?"_

Ow. My throat felt red raw.

_I had a _"b… bath." _But I failed. _

_"The bath failed? I'm not quite sure what that means."_

In frustration I launched the phone down onto the couch and allowed my tears to take over. I couldn't even have a conversation without screwing it up.

"Edward, hey. Bella isn't, er, doing too good right now… hang on a second." I refused to look at my father and focused entirely on Plushie Nora. "Okay, I think I've put it on speaker…"

_"Can you still hear me, Bella?" _

My eyes widened as Edward's voice filled the room. "She can hear you."

_"I'm sorry that you're not feeling great today, but try and think positively. You said something about failing, but think about what you achieved." _

I achieved nothing. I couldn't even eat a strawberry without failing.

_"Also, I know it's hard and not always your choice, but you have to eat something. How are you ever going to open the door to me if you don't have the strength?" _

My bottom lip curled as yet another round of tears dropped down my face. "Bella told me that she wants Nora, do you have her there by any chance?"

_"I can certainly get her! Would you like that, Bella?" _

I nodded into my chest. "Yes, she would." Charlie voiced for me.

Through the speaker phone I heard a scuffle as Edward opened a door and then as he called for Nora. _"Okay, she's here. Nora - speak." _Two faint barks sounded. Inside I was smiling, but I had no way of telling whether it appeared on my face or not.

As soon as the happiness appeared, the darkness took over. Nora wasn't really here, she was only on the phone. Edward wasn't here either. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel secure. Charlie would look after me, but it's only one person. I curled into the arm of the couch away from Charlie.

"Edward, er… I think it's best if we end the call just now. I'll try and get Bella to talk to you later."

_"Is she okay? What's happened?"_

"I don't know; she's… she's having a difficult time. I'll keep you informed."

I don't know if Edward said anything else after that, or Charlie for that matter. The darkness had made me zone out. I don't know how long I sat like that, or how much time had passed. I couldn't say whether Charlie offered me more food, or phoned Edward again. I didn't know what was real and what was fake.

The next thing that I could recall was when Charlie dropped down to my level. The windows were dark. It was nighttime. I don't think I had moved a muscle in the hours that had passed. Out of nowhere I felt a sharp, cold pressure on my arm, when I peered down I saw that Charlie was pressing a cold paper towel just below my elbow.

"You've got to be careful, Bella. You can't keep hurting yourself like this." I saw the blood when he lifted the towel and then pressed it down onto my new wound again. I must have been scratching myself without realizing it.

What was going on with me?

0-0

**September 3rd, 2018**

Today I was meeting with a lady who would be my psychologist. I must have looked confused when Charlie told me because he said that he had made the appointment yesterday and that I knew about the lady arriving. I was scared to leave the house, especially as I didn't have Nora, but Charlie also informed me that she would be coming here to save myself the trauma.

When she arrived I had Plushie Nora on my lap as always. The lady was young, but older than me. She had long brown hair and circular glasses. She wore a formal looking black dress and had a messenger bag over one shoulder. She seemed nice. She didn't look intimidating.

"Bella, my name is Angela Weber. Is it okay if we talk for a bit so I can get to know you better?"

I nodded into the head of Plushie Nora. Angela took a seat, she sat forward so that her arms rested on her lap. "How are you today?"

_Scared, sad, angry… _

"Your father tells me that you have a fear of talking, so I just want you to understand that I'm not going to pressure you into saying anything, okay? But anything you do say will stay with me and be completely confidential."

I nodded.

"Do you know how the fear started?"

I nodded again.

"Good. It's always great when you can pinpoint the source because then you know where to start in order to fix it."

My finger rubbed against the band aid on my arm. My eyes focused on how the latex flattened out under my touch.

"Bella, when you're feeling sad, what comforts you?"

_Charlie, Nora, Edward, Rose, Emmett…_

My lips must have moved as I thought about that list of people, because Angela was quick to ask me what I had said.

_They are my _"f… family."

"Family is the most important thing; they will love you and look after you know matter what happens."

I pulled Plushie Nora up to my shoulder so that I could use her as a pillow.

"I see that you're pretty fond of that stuffed animal. Does it have a name?"

"…Nora." My voice was silent, but loud enough for Angela to hear me.

"And why is Nora so special to you?" I liked Angela's smile. It was warm like Edward's.

_Nora makes me feel _"…safe."

Like with the detectives I knew that if I didn't say anything then I was never going to get the help I needed. So no matter how much it hurt, I tried to say as much as I could.

"That is wonderful! There is a reason why we are giving soft toys as babies, and it works the same way as adults, too." Angela opened her messenger bag and pulled out a file. She clicked the top of the pen before scribbling something down onto the paper. "I was wondering if we could discuss your talking a bit more? Can you tell me why you are scared to talk?"

_Because when I talk _"…bad" _things _"…happen."

Angela took some more notes. "Bad? What is bad, Bella?"

I couldn't say any more. If James heard me telling someone about the consequences, he would only make them worse.

I rubbed away at the stinging pain in my throat. Angela caught sight of the wince that took over my face. "Does it hurt?" I nodded. "Can you describe the pain to me?"

_It's like when you have a _"…bad cold."

"Okay, but talking shouldn't hurt you, Bella - it should be as effortless as breathing, and hopefully in time the pain will subside." I didn't say anything, so Angela changed the subject.

"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Bella? Anything that you think would make this process easier for you?"

Before I could stop them, my eyes brimmed with tears. They dropped onto my cheeks one by one. There was one thing that would make it easier, but I knew it wasn't possible for the next two weeks.

"Edward."

"And who is he?"

_He's just _"…Edward."

Angela crossed one leg over the other. "If it would make you feel more comfortable then you can have Edward, or your dad, sit in on these sessions. I won't repeat anything that you say, but if you'd prefer to have them here, then that is completely your decision."

0-0

My first meeting with Angela was… good, I guess. She kept it short because it was my first one, but she wanted to see me once a week to begin with, but if I felt comfortable then I could move it up to two per week, her words were: _"you can't rush something like this. Take it at your own pace"_. Charlie asked me how it went and he mentioned that he chose Angela because she was closer to me in age and I would probably prefer that over someone much older. I appreciated his decision.

For dinner Charlie made me a simple dish of pasta with red sauce. I had eaten more today than the bite of toast that I had yesterday, but I could still only manage a small bowlful. It was progress, right?

"I need to do the dishes. You'll be okay?" Before I could even respond Charlie fell back into his seat and scratched his head with both hands. "Never mind. Do you want to phone Edward whilst I'm in the kitchen? Either that, or you could come and sit in there with me?"

I wanted to talk to Edward and apologize. I felt awful that I cut him off yesterday and I hadn't been in the right frame of mind to phone back since then. I gave Charlie my answer and with a proud smile he pulled out his cell phone and passed it over to me once the call had been placed.

He answered it after two short rings. _"Hey, Charlie. What's up?" _

"…Edward."

_"Bella! What a lovely surprise! How are you?" _

"I'm…s-s-s… sad."

_"Oh, Sweetheart. Why are you sad? What's happened?"_

I wiped my damp cheeks with a palm. "I… don't know."

_"Okay, well are you having a better day than yesterday?" _

"Yes."

_"In that case you're making progress. Remember to think positively, Bella."_

"I'm… sorry."

Edward laughed. I missed his laugh. _"What on earth have you got to be sorry for?" _

"For… yesterday. I… I… hung up."

_"Please never apologize for how you acted, especially not to me. I understand how difficult it is for you these days, and when you call me I'm more than happy to sit on the phone for hours if that is how long it's going to take." _

My crying quickly turned into sobbing as I took in his words. "Please… please come back."

_"I'll be with you soon, okay? I promise."_

He promised.

Edward keeps his promises.

0-0

**September 5th, 2018  
****Emmett. **

I slumped back into bed and kicked my boots off one by one. I had a pounding headache and wanted nothing more than to sleep it off. I had been working over time ever since Bella's case started. We spent days searching high and low for that motherfucker, but he was playing a very good game of hide-and-seek.

Rose moaned in her sleep as she adjusted her tired body. Without thinking my hand cupped her head and I stroked her hair with my thumb. I had never been prouder of my wife, especially during these last few months. She was finding pregnancy very difficult, but every day she would leave the house with a smile on her face, never once complaining about the many side effects she had to endure.

I undressed down to my boxers and haphazardly threw my pants over the back of the chair that Rose had placed near the window. Something about feng shui. I don't know. I used the toilet, cleaned my teeth, and finally collapsed into bed.

I was drifting off to sleep as I heard my phone vibrate.

_What now?_

It was a text message from my superior, Mark. He had included several other men in the message. All it said was: _"911. Call in." _

_Fuck. _

Biting back the groan, I typed out the four letter word. _"Here."_

His reply came back almost instantly.

_"Swan kidnapper found. Report immediately." _

0-0

**You know what that means…**

**Don't worry, I've already started the next chapter, so I'll do my best to update as soon as I can.**

**Bella went through a lot in this chapter, send her some love? **


	14. Chapter 13

**I found this chapter really difficult to write, so I apologise for the slight delay. **

**Trigger warning: this chapter holds brief language that some may find offensive. **

Hereafter

Chapter 13.

**September 6th, 2018  
****1:19AM  
****Emmett.**

The station was alive with people, especially at such a late time - even we die down at some point. When I received Mark's message about James being found I ignored the cry for sleep and just about threw myself out of bed. Rose woke up to the noise and asked what was going on. When I had told her the good news I could almost see the relief leave her body. I gave her a quick kiss, and said that I'd update her when I could.

I didn't have time to make a coffee before I left, or grab one on the way, but luckily someone had set up the coffee machine. I made a cup before entering the conference room where Mark stood along with a few other men. They all looked as tired as I felt.

"Thank you for responding. We have a long night ahead of us, but stay focused and we'll put an end to this son-of-a-bitch as quickly as we can."

After ten-fifteen minutes Mark announced that everyone had arrived, so took our seats to hear the run-down. I tapped my boots on the carpeted flooring as excitement passed through me. I couldn't wait to see Bella's face when I told her that she was safe once again. It might not be today, but at least the ball had started rolling.

Mark slapped James' mugshot on the board. That was the first time I had seen his face and it took everything in me not to shout abuse or even spit on that picture. His face looked rough and scarred. His blonde hair greasy and tied back at the nape of his neck. You could see a gleam of happiness in his eyes and the makings of a smirk on his lips. In every other mugshot I had seen they always looked scared, or dead behind the eyes because their run was over and they knew that. James, however, seemed to feed off of his accomplishments. For a decade he had been committing various heinous crimes right under our noses, and he was proud of that.

_Sick fuck._

"Where was he found?" Someone asked.

"Outside a sleazy nightclub in Tigard - no doubt watching for innocent prey. According to the security he was acting suspiciously, so they phoned it in."

"Suspicious how?" Another called out.

"For twenty minutes he did nothing but stand to one side and smoke stick after stick. When asked if he was going into the club his response was, _"yeah, after this one". _He'd then pull out another cigarette and smoke that one too. He was asked once again if he was going to enter, and that was when he started shouting abusive language and appeared to get aggressive." Mark walked forward and back behind his desk as he retold the story. "We don't know for certain, but we think he was killing time - waiting until someone left who caught his fancy. When we got there it turned out he didn't have his ID on him, so he'd never planned on entering the club in the first place."

"Where is he now?"

Mark widened out his arms. "Right here in this building! Stinks of piss and liquor, but he'll be fucking lucky if I allow him the chance to wash."

_He stole everything from Bella, now I'm here to take it back. _

"Has he been arrested or just held for questioning?"

"At first we had no idea who he was and he was added to the list of drunks who we hold for a night. His first mistake was writing his full name on the slip, the second mistake came when he removed his jacket and we were quick to spot the vampire teeth tattoo on his upper arm. Everything matches Isabella's descriptions, but we're waiting for the questioning to hear more."

I made a mental reminder to give Bella the biggest hug that she could handle. If it wasn't for that tattoo she had spotted, we'd have probably let him off with a warning. 'James' is a very common name - we can't arrest him for that.

"Okay." Mark announced to the room with the clap of his hands. "There are several things I need you guys to do this evening, including questions, observations, and so on. Cullen." I looked up to catch his eye. "I know this case is personal to you, so I don't want you anywhere near him - we kinda need him alive, y'know?"

_Meh, I suppose he's got a point. _

"We're almost certain that this is the man we are after, but unless he pleads guilty, we can't touch him. However we can get prepared. Cullen, I want you to focus on surveillance - find places to set up cameras and hot spots. Don't set anything up until I mention it, okay? I also need you to organize a search warrant. Once he's here for good we want to be straight in there."

I nodded at his order. He may get released, but that doesn't mean that we can't keep an eye on him. I could ask Edward whether we could set up cameras outside his house, just incase James decides to pay a visit. Especially if he thinks that Bella is still hiding there.

God, what a night it was going to be.

I've had many one-on-one cases during my career, but Bella's felt different for some reason. She trusted me as a person, which meant that she trusted me to make everything right again. If I broke our bond, it would be difficult to repair it. I had been keeping up to date with my brother who told me that Bella's mood had gone down hill in the last handful of days, so I wanted to do the job the best I could, for her sake. I also wanted to be the one to tell her that James was no longer a fear to her. I knew it would make a huge improvement.

After our assignments were given out we were dismissed. There was one thing that I wanted to run past Mark - he was sitting at his desk, downing the last of his coffee. "Sir, when the questioning is over I'd like to listen to the tapes. Isabella is not doing well, and maybe if I know what she has been through we can find a way to help her."

Mark shrugged. "That's fine with me, as long as he opens up and confesses."

"Look, the guy is fucked, he knows that."

"Maybe, but it doesn't mean he's going to say anything." Mark stood from his desk and clapped my shoulder. "I realize this is important to you, but take it one step at a time. Once the questioning is over we can work from there.

The first thing that I focused on was the search warrant. Because the ballet studio is/was abandoned for many years it no longer had an official owner which made my work ever so slightly harder. Middleton is an unincorporated community in Washington County, Oregon, which meant that in order to get the warrant I'd need to get in contact with WC to get it approved. Thankfully Edward lives minutes away from the building so I could pass over the address to give them a helping hand, I needed to be slightly more specific than _'an old ballet school in Middleton'. _Luckily, after some Google searching, I managed to find the previous owners and added that in with the address.

I shot off the email hoping I'd receive a reply shortly after their offices reopened. That was the only downside to working at two in the morning.

Next I started on the surveillance. Unfortunately the building was completely surrounded by trees, so we couldn't set up cameras very easily, but I'll ask Edward about using his house, and I can get into contact with the stores in that area and ask to use their security cameras. If James knew we were on to him then we would be quick to get away. My hope was that he didn't catch on to the fact that we knew about the ballet studio.

I jotted down all the numbers to the stores in that area, along with their opening times, and made a mental note to phone as soon as they opened. I also sent out a request to the tech department asking them for a small supply of camouflaged surveillance - there isn't a lot we can do with trees, however if I could place something here and there, it would be better than nothing.

There wasn't much I could do until I had received the replies, so I took advantage of my spare time and grabbed some food from the vending machines and waited for the message to say that the questioning was over.

0-0

"Cullen."

I jolted awake and caught myself on the edge of the desk to keep my chair upright. From the time on my computer I calculated that I had only been asleep for about twenty minutes. I peered up at my buddy, Sam. He had amusement written all over his face. "Catching a few 'Z's?"

"Fuck off." I laughed and shot him my middle finger. "Q&As over with?"

"Oh yes…"

That didn't sound overly positive.

"And…?"

Sam chuckled dryly. "Just… prepare yourself. He's such an asshole." Sam dug one hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a silver vape pen. His wife thinks he has stopped smoking. What she doesn't realize is that Sam keeps his vape on him at work for when things get really bad and he needs that hit of nicotine to help calm his nerves. The fact that he was about to go outside for said nicotine told me that James was more than just an asshole, and I was about to find that out for myself.

"That bad?"

Sam lead me from the room. "I wasn't even in the room and it has angered me this much."

"Great."

We split ways - Sam headed for the exit, and I headed for the interrogation room. I found the room empty when I got there, so I took my pick of computers and slipped the headphones over my ears. Because James' questioning was the last to be held, his was the first on the list.

I took a deep breath to control my nerves before I hit 'play' and began my torment.

0-0

I watched the recordings on the screen. James rested back into the seat with his arms crossed over his chest. You could tell from his mannerisms that he had had enough. The detectives started the voice recorder and spoke out the formal details.

_"__Can you confirm your name for us?"_

James let out a dark laugh. _"I thought you already knew my name?"_

_"__Humor us."_

I wish I could see the expressions he was pulling, but the cameras were slightly too far away to tell. _"My name is James Parker. I was born on -."_

_"__-We don't need your full biography, Mr. Parker." _

My anger rose higher and higher. Any minute now my face would turn beet red and steam will bellow from my ears like in a cartoon. He's such a creepy fucker, and to think he had his dirty, unwashed hands all over Bella. It makes me sick.

_"__Mr. Parker, can you give me a run down of what you did earlier this evening?"_

I watched as James clapped sarcastically; the noise echoed through the headphones. _"Oh wow, I've clearly been given the short straw with you people. You found me at a fucking club and you want me to tell you what I did this evening? Jesus Christ."_

_"__What were your intentions?"_

_"__I dunno. Get drunk."_

_"__Without an ID?"_

James lifted his arms up in the air out of frustration. _"I left it at home, okay! Shit happens."_

One detective opened up the file on his desk and pulled out two pieces of paper. He slid them over to James. _"Mr. Parker I want you to look at these pictures and tell me whether you can identify the people shown." _

I couldn't see the photos, but I knew it would have been Bella and Victoria. James was seen leaning into the table. _"Hmm…" _He mumbled.

_"__Care to elaborate?"_

_"__Not really."_

Oh, he is so fucked.

If it wasn't the guy that we were after he would have been very quick to plead innocent and convince everyone that he didn't know who they were. He did the exact opposite.

_"__Mr. Parker, we know that you know who these ladies are."_

_"__Meh, looks like two dumb cunts to me."_

Had I been in that room I would have had my hands around his neck in an instant.

_"__And how do you know that?"_

_"__Just look at them; you can tell that they are a pair of cunts. Can I go for a smoke now?"_

_"__No, you cannot. Names, please."_

With one finger James prodded each photo in turn. _"I don't know the redhead, she's hot though. That's Isabella Swan, the girl who went missing."_

Bingo.

Say goodbye to freedom, son.

_"__Tell me about Isabella."_

_"__She's tight, I'll tell you that much."_

I paused the tape recording and threw the headset onto the desk. I'd heard enough. There was only so much I could handle, and that crossed the line.

I took a breather, calmed myself down as best I could, before slipping the headset back on and continued to watch the footage. As much as I hated watching it, I knew that it had to be done. I needed to hear what this low-life had to say.

_"__How can you be so sure if you've only seen her on TV?" _

_"__I never said that. She's a whore - sleeps around a bit, spreads her legs for any man with a pulse. I met up with her before she went missing."_

He's so guilty. This has got to be the guy we're looking for.

_"__Miss Swan lives in Washington. How did you 'meet up with her'?"_

_"__It's a free country, is it not? Travelled around a bit." _

We did not need a professional to read his body language - it was clear as day, even in his tone of voice. This man was guilty, but what irked me the most was that we don't have any compelling evidence against him, and until then we have no right to keep him here. Sure he acted suspicious, but he never admitted to committing a crime. Until we have DNA matches or photographic evidence, he is free to go. If only Bella was here right now to point him out in a line up… but, alas, she isn't, and so James was let off with a warning for his drunken behavior.

I could show Bella James' mugshot, but the last thing I want to do is throw that poor girl back into her nightmares.

0-0

"Have you listened to the tapes?" The office door slammed closed behind me.

Mark sat up straighter at his desk. "I have." He said with a sign, indicating the spare seat for me to take.

"That's the guy we're looking for; I just know it."

"We're all thinking the same thing, but we can't do shit until he admits to his crimes, or we have convincing evidence against him."

"Did he have water during questioning? We could match the DNA to swabs we took from Bella and _voila, _we've got our man."

Mark laughed at my eagerness, but I needed to get this sorted. "They gave him water, but he took the cup with him - must have known what we were up to. For now I need you to phone Forks PD- fill them in on what has happened and keep them aware just in case James decides to pay a visit after this. Fax them the mugshot so they know who they're looking for."

I sighed loudly. "You don't think he'd be stupid enough to do something like that, do you?"

Mark shrugged. "If I'm being truthfully honest then I think James is very good at what he does - he knows what cautions to take - however, he also has the ability to slip up. This evening, for example."

"Right, so what shall we do now?"

"Nothing. Work as normal, because sooner or later his stupidity is going to bite him on the ass."

I let out a tired groan and rubbed my forehead in frustration. "Should I talk to Bella?"

"No. Like you said Miss Swan is having a hard time right now - no need to make it any harder until he is in this place for good."

I wouldn't call myself a religious man, but after leaving Mark's office I sent up a prayer. If there is a man in the sky, I hoped he heard me, and had the ability to put an end to Bella's torment.

0-0

I had an hour to myself after I finally got home before I had to leave for dinner with my parents. My mother gets a kick out of putting on a big spread for her family, and this was her first opportunity since they came back from California. Rose was working late, so we decided to take two cars and meet each other there. In that hour I had a hasty shower and took twenty minutes to lounge out on the bed to try and get my thoughts together. It felt like I had barely been home in twenty-four hours, and today was testing. Because of my overtime Mark told me to take tomorrow off, unless anything happened overnight. I sent off another prayer that things stayed silent.

I dressed in a simple jeans-polo shirt combo and threw on my leather jacket before stepping outside. During the drive I debated whether to tell my brother about the day's adventures or not. Edward is a worrier and I knew what this news would do to him, but my buddies and I had spoken about putting surveillance up in his house, which we'd need his permission for. I decided to play it by ear, and get a good feel of the vibes before I said anything.

Turned out I was the last to arrive, but thankfully my parent's vast driveway had just enough room for all 6 cars that were now parked there. We grew up in this house, and even though my siblings and I have all moved out, my parents cannot fathom the idea of why they would ever want to sell the house. It holds memories I suppose.

"Emmett, darling!" Esme had the front door open before I had even left the car. She threw her arms around me.

"Hey, mom."

"Everyone is in the living room. Do you want a drink? Your father is taking orders." Esme took my jacket and hung it up besides the others.

"I'll take a coffee if there's one going?" I'd have killed for a beer if I wasn't driving and utterly exhausted.

"Go ask your father! I'm busy with the food!"

I laughed as Esme ran back to the kitchen. Every dinner party, no matter who it was for, Esme acted like she was cooking for royalty. Honestly, she could have served up a McDonalds meal, but it would be presented on a silver fucking platter with her best china. I made my way to the living room where I saw Carlisle handing Alice a glass of red wine and Jasper a bottle of Bud.

"Ah, you've made it." Rose smiled up at me.

I stole the seat beside her and kissed her cheek. "Yeah, just about."

"Was it that bad?"

With a roll of my eyes I replayed the story to her, about how James can't be charged for anything yet. "It's him, I just know it."

"You can't do anything about it?" Rose had an angry tone in her voice. She was clearly as annoyed as I was.

"Nope. Unless he confesses, or we have evidence, he's not guilty of anything besides being a creep."

"This is bullshit - he said he knew Bella!" Rose kept her voice quiet so that the others didn't hear our conversation.

"Yep, but he said that he '_met up with her_' before she went missing, and didn't know Victoria."

"_Asshole." _She whispered viscously.

"Emmett, son, would you like a drink?" Carlisle broke the tense conversation, and I almost thanked him for it.

"A coffee would be great, thanks."

Alice was quick to bring Rose into a discussion with Jasper - I didn't catch what it was about - and as I collapsed into the back of the chair, my eyes landed on Edward. Everything about him was tense and he cradled a glass of water like it was the world's finest scotch. From where he sat he was close enough to join in the open conversation, but he had such a far-away look on his face that it would surprise me if he even knew the discussion was happening.

"You okay, brother?" My words spooked him from his trance. Edward nodded and continued to cradle his glass. I watched closely as he tapped the screen of his phone and then went back to staring off into space; something was definitely wrong. I stood and pushed my seat closer towards him. "What's up?"

"Is it right for me to feel guilty?"

My first thought was to say that Edward always feels guilty, so it's nothing new to me, but I knew he needed me to be serious. "What do you feel guilty about?"

"Ever since I left Forks I have had multiple calls from Charlie every single day. Bella has deteriorated rapidly and is begging me to go back."

My hand tapped away at my knee as I thought about the best response. "I know she is a fully grown adult, but think of it like a baby. Say the baby cries when you put them to bed and you return every time they cry, they'll never learn to self-soothe. If you make that trip every time Bella calls for you, she's never going to improve."

He sighed. "She needs me."

"Then answer me this; can you afford the time to drop everything and go back?"

Edward's hesitance gave me the honest answer, but he told me what his heart was saying. "It's more important than my work right now."

"Can you work from Charlie's? Or would you be too far away?"

Edward scratched an eyebrow as he thought my question through. "I'm not actually sure… I don't think it would matter."

With a smirk I elbowed my brother playfully. "Then I think you've just solved your problem."

"But what about Nora? I can't take her with me this time."

"Does Bella want you or Nora?"

"Both of us."

"Edward." We both looked up to our father who stood with my coffee in hand. It was clear that he had been listening to the whole conversation. "The brain is a powerful piece of equipment. Bella thinks that she needs Nora to feel safe, because her brain is telling her that. It is also telling her not to eat even though she is literally starving."

"Okay…"

"Of course she will feel better with Nora there - anybody would - but I swear if you turn up alone, she will feel just as safe and cared for."

"I suppose you're right, but what about the eating? How can we get her to eat? I'm surprised she isn't hospitalized right now."

Carlisle shrugged and gave us a sad smile. "Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do. If you force Bella to eat, she'll only reject it more and will throw it back up again. You also don't want to over feed her which could cause something called refeeding syndrome. Tell Charlie to try and get his hand on glucose drops. Mix that with water and have Bella take small sips at regular intervals. They give that to starving, malnourished patients, and Bella is no different right now."

"When did you tell her you would return?" I asked.

"For her birthday on the thirteenth."

"Oh, my God!" Alice cried from the other side of the room. "We should all go! We can have a party and everyone likes parties!"

"I don't think she'd want you to turn up right now, Ali." Edward scoffed. "Especially if you come loaded with a cake and balloons."

"Why not? I'll be nothing but lovely to her."

"Bella doesn't _know _you. Imagine if you were scared of your own shadow and suddenly a group of strangers turn up at your house screaming 'happy birthday'."

Alice shrugged. "I still think we should make the trip for her." Jasper put a gentle hand on his wife's lap as a silent way of telling her to calm down. "Can I at least get her a present then? I'd like to do something."

"I think that's a lovely idea, Alice." Carlisle added in. "We could get her a joint present so that she knows we're thinking of her."

I found myself focused on Edward's phone as I thought about my father's idea. A light bulb sparked, and a smirk crossed my face. "You said the phone calls have been difficult?"

Edward sighed. "Her speech is terrible right now."

"What if she could see you? Would that make a difference?" From the faces of my family I knew that everyone was just as confused as each other. "What if you could FaceTime her? Our joint present could be an iPhone?"

"Yes!" Alice piped up. "And the daily planner could help her with a routine!"

Rose was next to join in. "She could also text you when she has a really bad speech day."

"If we have it set up for her we could add all the necessary contacts and could take a picture of Nora for the wallpaper!" By this point Alice was practically bouncing on the spot with excitement.

My sister, ladies and gents. Constantly consuming one too many sugar sticks.

Of course Edward had to disagree with the idea. One that I personally thought was excellent. "You can't spend all that money on her."

"Oh, pish posh!" Alice swatted the air with her hand. "Her phone got stolen, right?"

The room looked at me for the answer. "I don't know…" I shrugged. "She definitely doesn't have one now, that's for sure."

"In which case she'd want to have it replaced! And think about all the things she could do to help pass the time!"

Edward thought for a second before finally saying, "I probably don't have a choice anyway, do I?"

"Nope! That's settled then!"

Thankfully Esme chose that moment to announce that dinner was ready. We all piled into the dinning room where the food was spread out beautifully across the grand table. I noticed some bread, potatoes, carrots and chicken in some sort of creamy sauce. It all smelt incredible and at that minute I didn't care what it was, just as long as it was edible.

The rest of the night went smoothly and Edward appeared a bit more relaxed after our conversation. He did, however, check his phone constantly out of habit, but the phone never rang, and the topic of conversation changed to something different to help Edward take his mind off of Bella for the first time in goodness knows how long. I had decided not to tell him about the days events; I only wanted to put my brother through that stress when it was necessary.

I knew we would have to cross that hurdle at some point soon - James hadn't finished yet and he would show his ugly face again in the near future, but tonight wasn't the night.

Unfortunately, I don't think any of us were prepared for when he did appear again.

0-0

**A lot of you thought it was far too early for James to be caught already. Don't worry, I thought the same thing. Frustrating as it may seem, he's still roaming the streets for now. However I did have to stop writing when it got to his tapes. He angered me so much…**

**So we finally had a glimpse of Alice! And we'll be back with our sweet Bella in the next one.**

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought. **


	15. Chapter 14

**Just so you are aware, Angela does know who Bella is and what she has been through, but she wants to hear it all from Bella herself. **

**Trigger warning: this chapter holds a brief flashback that I found difficult to write, and you might find hard to read. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 14

**September 9th, 2018  
****Bella.**

My head hurts.

It's been hurting for a few days now, and nothing seems to help it. Charlie tried giving me some Advil and made sure I drank plenty of water, but it doesn't work. He thinks it's because my body is so weak and I'm afraid to admit that he might be right. I was meant to meet with Angela a couple of days ago for our second appointment, but I felt so ill that I spent the entire day in bed. I slept on and off all day, ate some strawberries, drank some water, and then slept right through until the following morning. My nightmares returned, but I was so drained that I continued to sleep no matter how hard I tried to fight it.

Charlie rescheduled with Angela and so she's coming today instead. He asked me if I wanted him to sit in the room with me, but I wanted to do this by myself. I held Plushie Nora on my lap, curled up in a ball, and waited for Angela to arrive. When she did, she gave me a sweet smile and asked how I was feeling. My response came in the form of a shrug, because I didn't know how I felt. I don't know much at the moment.

"How is your talking come along? Have you seen an improvement?" I shook my head. Angela accepted my answer and searched for something in her messenger bag. She took out a pad of paper and a selection of colored pens. "In that case, would you like to try writing down your answers? The talking is a big thing which we need to get sorted, but right now it is more important that we can communicate. Would you be okay with writing down your answers?"

_Can James read my answers? Would he know what I have said? No… I don't think so. _

Angela's smile beamed when I nodded my head. She moved closer towards the table that sat between us and adjusted the pens so that I could see each one. "Okay, I want you to pick two separate colors - one will be for things that you enjoy, and the other will be for your fears and worries."

I took in every color and after freeing one arm from my blanket I delicately touched a red and a green pen.

"Which one is the red pen for?"

I took a few large swallows to help free up my throat which allowed me the chance to talk. "…Fears."

"Excellent, and green for what you enjoy. Can you tell me why you picked that color? You can write it down if you'd prefer."

I pulled off the cap of the pen and wrote down two words on two separate lines. _Home. Edward. _

"Thank you. Now that you've got the hang of it, Bella, I want you to write down what makes you happy, or what you enjoy doing. Don't worry about your fears for now, okay?"

The words found themselves on the paper without even given them a second thought. It was very easy to distinguish between what I loved and what I hated.

_Charlie. Nora. Rose. Emmett. Baby. Strawberries. Plushie Nora. Rabbits. Friends. Reading. Schedules. Blankets. Freedom. _

"What do you mean by 'baby'?"

"Rose… and Emmett…" _are having a _"…baby" _girl. _

I wasn't sure whether Angela wanted me to say that out loud or write it down, but part of me said that it didn't matter and it was probably best if I spoke those words. So I listened to what my heart was saying. My head always told me not to say anything, and I had started believing that my head was telling me a lot of things that weren't true.

"That is wonderful for your friends, and I think it's beautiful that their baby makes you happy." Angela took back the pad of paper and drew a black line straight down the middle of the page before handing it back to me. "Okay, so now I want you to focus on your fears. If you can't complete it, or you find it too difficult please stop and we can work on that later."

Again it was very easy to think about what scared me, but I found these ones harder to write down. They made them appear real when they were written down on paper like that.

_Talking. Walking. The Coven. Dark. Lonely. Eating… _

I don't know for certain, but I'd say it took double the amount of time to write half the amount of words. I had so many more spiralling around my head but my hands froze and I couldn't write a single letter.

"Would you like to stop there?" Angela must have spotted my tears and how my body shook with words. "We can come back to that one later."

Angela then asked me about my eating and what I was doing to help improve my strength and stamina. I pointed to the words 'strawberries' and she managed to put two and two together for me.

"Can I set you some homework, Bella?"

I nodded. I always liked homework when I was at school. I liked improving my knowledge on certain subjects and learning new things about the world.

Angela flipped over the paper so that we were on a clean sheet. "Can you write down a selection of food that you have either always disliked or that you fear to eat now."

After a few minutes I had my list completed. I started off with the foods that I've never been fond of, but the last few items were foods that I could no longer stomach. _Sandwiches. Apples. Chewing gum._

I closed my eyes as a memory played out behind my eyes.

_"Hey, Piggy."_

_James knelt down beside me. The scent of smoke and mint wafted from him. He reminded me of a cow when he chewed gum. Both jaws worked at the same time and all I could focus on was the white blob that jumped around his yellowing teeth. James had a wicked grin on his face and excitement in his eyes, something bad was about to happen to me. _

_"I hope you like spit roast?" _

_One hand gripped my forehead and the other clenched onto my jaw. I tried my best to snap my mouth shut, but he had more force than I did. Before I knew it an apple had been shoved between my teeth to resemble a pig. We hadn't played this 'game' before, but I knew what was going to happen when I heard the clang of his belt buckle and the rip of his zipper. _

"Bella!"

I forced my eyes open to rid myself of that vision. Charlie was sitting beside me with a concerned looking Angela not far behind him. My labored breaths came out in a pant. A sharp ring played in my ears.

"You're okay now, Bells. It wasn't real."

I must have been in a trance. I must have been screaming.

I looked over to Angela, her lips were moving but I couldn't hear what she was saying. The ringing in my ears was playing with my hearing. Before I knew what was happening the arm of the couch hit against my back. Had I fallen back, or had Charlie placed me there? Nothing made sense.

Charlie looked over to Angela, he nodded to whatever she was saying, and then she collected her messenger bag, gave me a sympathetic smile, and headed towards the door. She was leaving, that much was obvious.

I used the paw of Plushie Nora to mop up my tears as they trickled down my cheeks.

I had failed again.

I was never going to get better at this rate.

0-0

**September 10th, 2018**

"I dunno what to do, Bells."

Charlie had me sitting at the kitchen table with a sandwich on a plate before me. Angela had told him that my homework was to try and eat the foods I feared. I remember Edward making me a sandwich when I first arrived at his house and I had eaten it, but I put that down to the fact that I was close to fainting. Now that I knew I could eat other foods, my mind had put a barrier up and I couldn't even bring myself to pick it up.

_I'm _"…sorry."

Charlie let out a deep sigh. "I know you're sorry, but I don't know what to do to make it better! I can't even leave the room without you screaming for me."

I wanted to help him, I wanted to no longer be afraid of being alone, but that was impossible.

"That might be my only option… Maybe Edward was right…"

I knew Charlie was talking to himself, but I wanted to know what Edward was right about. I looked up at my father with a frown, silently asking what he was talking about.

"Edward mentioned something to me before he left. It sounded ridiculous, but maybe that's the only choice I have… how the hell will I manage to leave the house otherwise?"

I didn't want Charlie to leave the house. If I was left alone then anything could happen to me. James could find me again and I would never make it out alive this time. I need Charlie, I need Edward and I need to be safe. I won't be safe if they're not here to look after me.

"Don't…" _leave me. Please. _

Charlie held my hands. "I'm not going to leave you alone, Bella, however I cannot stay by your side every minute of every day. How the hell will I go to the store, or even go back to work and earn money?"

I picked up a pen and drew a question mark on the paper napkin that sat under my plate. Charlie wanted me to talk more, especially after what Angela had told him yesterday, but it was going to take time for me to be completely comfortable. I pointed to the question mark and in response Charlie groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm not going to tell you about it just yet -incase it isn't possible - but for now I need your help. In the space of one week, Bella, you have eaten the same amount that I would eat in a day. Tell me what you want to eat - it can be anything and I'll get if for you."

"Strawberries…"

"Anything else? You can't live off of strawberries alone, Bells."

If I could have anything in the world, what would it be? That question is easy for anyone else to answer, but it is a million dollar question to me.

"Anything at all."

I thought long and hard but every option made me feel queasy. I thought about the dinners that I enjoyed before this happened, however they all sounded too big and bulky for me. Then I thought of something, something that might just work.

"Soup?" Soup is easy and I can drink it which might make the process easier.

I wanted to cry at the smile that beamed across Charlie's face. I don't think I had seen one that big since he arrived at Edward's house and saw that I was alive. He jumped up from his seat and opened the cupboard that held all our canned goods. "Tomato? That'll do for now, right?"

I liked tomato. It wasn't my favorite, but I'd eat it. I needed to do this for me. I needed to do this for Charlie and Edward.

Before too long I had a mug of tomato soup waiting in front of me. He had put it in a mug so that I didn't have to worry about a spoon, and perhaps I could trick my brain into thinking that this was a drink instead of a meal.

It took a while, but I did it. I drank the entire mug and the Advil I was given once the soup was finished actually worked.

_When is my _"…birthday?" I asked as Charlie cleared away the used mug.

"Three days."

Three days. My birthday was in three days, which meant that Edward will be back soon. I can eat more soup in that time and show him how strong I can be.

_Can I _"call… Edward?"

I wanted to tell him about the soup. I wanted him to be proud of me.

Charlie glanced down at his watch, he calculated the current time. "How about you sleep first, and then you can call him when you wake up?"

I had started a new schedule - everyday at noon I would nap until Charlie woke me up a two o'clock, unless I woke up naturally before then. It must have been nearing midday, so Charlie didn't want to interrupt my schedule.

With some help I made my way back to the couch, where I curled myself up in a blanket and slept soundly until two o'clock.

0-0

"Bella…" Charlie gently shook me awake when the time came. He had another big smile on his face which meant that I hadn't had a single nightmare in those two hours. "It's time to get some walking practise."

I was slightly confused as to why I was forced into walking the second I woke up, but Charlie was already pulling the blanket away from me, so I didn't have much of a choice. I stood tall on tired legs and held out my hands for Charlie to take. "We're going to walk to the front door today, so you can do it when Edward arrives on your birthday."

I didn't feel quite strong enough to go that far, seeing as I had only just woken up, but again I didn't have a choice. I noticed a change in my speed - I was getting faster, but it still felt like a struggle. Finally I reached the door, took a deep breath and prepared myself for the walk back.

"Open the door, Bells; get the practise of that too." I frowned, wondering why I would need to do that. "It's not just your legs that need to strengthen up."

To my surprise Charlie was right; it was much harder than it looked. I cupped the handle and put all my strength into turning it, but I ended up having to use both hands in order to push down and fully open the door. A scream was quick to leave my mouth when I noticed someone standing on the other side.

"Edward!"

If it wasn't for Charlie holding on to me I think I would have fallen to the floor. I took two steps forward and threw my arms around his neck as the sobs began to ripple through my body. I was so happy, but so surprised at the same time. What was he doing here? My birthday wasn't for another three days.

Edward laughed at my reaction. "Surprise?"

_What are you _"…doing here?"

"I thought I would come back a bit earlier, is that okay?"

It was okay. It was definitely okay with me.

After I had managed to control myself I turned around to Charlie, asking with my eyes whether he knew about this.

"We've been planning it behind your back. Is it a good surprise?"

I was so shocked and my throat was tight with tears that the only thing I could do was nod and look between Edward and Charlie with a smile. I noticed that Nora wasn't with him but that was okay… I think.

0-0

I wanted to show Edward what I had managed to do in the time that he had gone home, but negative thoughts were quick to enter my head. I hadn't managed to do anything, I had failed at even the smallest of tasks. He must have noticed the change in my mood, he always knew when I wasn't feeling right and found a way to change it.

"Charlie told me that you had soup today?"

I nodded. I felt like there wasn't a need to word out my answer.

"That is amazing progress, Bella. I'm so proud of you."

_But I still _"…failed."

"Failed at what? I've heard nothing but positivities." I didn't say anything. I couldn't think of the words to say. "These things won't happen overnight, Bella. I know that you've had a challenging few days, but you should be so proud of yourself that you have managed to allow Angela into your life."

Even with Angela I still failed. I couldn't stop the flashbacks and had to end our second session early. That isn't progress. I bowed my head into Plushie Nora and cried. I cried so hard. I could feel my headache coming back again.

"Why are you crying, Sweetheart?"

My throat was tight. Instead of speaking I pointed to the word 'Nora' that was on my piece of paper. I felt safe with Edward and Charlie, but I wanted Nora.

"She's at home with my parents, but she loves you and she misses you." Edward looked sad and guilty. I had a feeling that he wanted to bring Nora with him.

"…Sorry."

Edward smirked, but his eyes still looked sad. "Now what have I told you about apologizing?"

I curled up into his side, his arms were quick to shield me. I fell asleep again, but I don't think it mattered.

What did matter, however, was being woken up and realizing that I was having a nosebleed.

Edward had his fingers pinched onto the bridge of my nose, holding my head back, and Charlie brushed a tissue against my nostrils to catch the blood. The metallic taste in my mouth refused to leave.

"Has she had one before, Charlie?"

"No, this is her first one."

I think it was bad, because it took a while to control and their voices were laced in worry. I heard Edward mention that he would call his father and ask for advice. I could hear every word that was spoken between father and son as it echoed through from the phone.

_"Edward, how are you?" _

"I'm good. Erm… Bella is having a nosebleed, so I wanted to run it past you."

_"Not a problem. How long as it been going on for?" _

"Five - maybe ten minutes? Is this normal? Should we… take further action?"

I think he meant going to hospital. I didn't want to go to hospital.

_"Unless it continues for a long period of time, or gets dangerously heavy, it should be fine. Nosebleeds are very common for someone who has experienced severe weight loss. Is this the first one?"_

"Yeah."

_"Perfect. The fact that she hasn't had one before now is a good sign. Just keep an eye incase they happen again and record how long they last for and how heavy they are."_

I felt better that I could stay at home where I was safe. His dad did mention that the nosebleeds will stop when my body gets stronger. I needed to eat more soup and strawberries.

0-0

That night I had another nightmare. This time I knew it wasn't real because James had never been in my room before, but this time he was. In my dream I imagined James lurking at the foot of my bed. He had gum in his mouth and a collar dangling from a metal chain. I tried to move but my body was tied down to the mattress and I had no way of escaping. The moment that James lunged across the bed and grabbed my throat between his hands, I sat up screaming. I was covered in a sheen of sweat.

Like always Charlie ran in and held my quivering body. This time Edward joined him, but where was Nora? Nora has sharp teeth - she can protect me with those. I have Plushie Nora, but it's not enough sometimes.

Charlie and Edward were talking to each other, but I wasn't paying attention to the words. Charlie kissed my forehead and stroked my hair away from my face. He then stood from the bed and Edward took his place. I watched as Charlie left the room, but I didn't know where he was going. _Come back! Please don't leave me. _

"He's going to get you a glass of water. I'm here; you're okay."

_I'm okay… I'm okay… _

"What was your nightmare about? Can you tell me?"

I looked around my bedroom just to double check that we were alone. "…James" _was standing right _"…there." I pointed to the end of the bed, right where his figure had been standing.

Edward stood and walked around the bed, he even peered under it and opened the door to my closet to look in there. "No one is here, Bella. It was all in your head."

_It was all in my head… it was all in my head. _

"Nora."

Edward retook his place on my bed and rubbed his hand up and down my back. "I'm so sorry I couldn't bring her with me, but you know that I won't let anyone hurt you, right?"

Yes. I'm safe with Edward and Charlie. They won't let anyone hurt me.

But they don't have sharp teeth or powerful paws.

Charlie returned with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. He placed the cloth over my forehead to help cool down my heated body. My hands were trembling so much that I needed help to drink from the glass.

How long were my nightmares going to last for? Will I always wake up screaming? Will I ever have a peaceful night's sleep again?

Only time could tell, but I didn't feel positive about it.

0-0

**Edward**

It took a while for Bella to settle again after her nightmare. After two hours I gave her the suggestion of watching her favorite movie on the couch downstairs. Surprisingly she accepted the offer. Charlie picked out the case from her small selection of DVDs and I carried her down to the living room where she curled up on her side of the couch and wrapped herself in the blanket that I had used to sleep in. We made her some soup - despite it being four in the morning - and started the film. It was called 'Fly Away Home'; I didn't know much about the plot apart from the fact that it was about geese and had Jeff Daniels and Anna Paquin in it. It seemed sweet. It seemed like a very 'Bella' sort of movie.

"Edward, can I grab you for a second?" We stood in the foyer so that Bella could still see us, but Charlie kept his voice quiet. "I've given your suggestion another thought."

I had to think back to what that suggestion was - I had given him a few in the last week. "Oh, the… _dog?_" I mouthed out the last word just incase Bella had superhuman hearing.

"Exactly. I've had enough - I don't know what to do anymore, and that might be my only option."

Relief ran through me. I didn't have the power to change Charlie's mind about something as big as this, so it helped to ease the guilt when I heard that he was thinking about it. "I'm happy to help with whatever it is that you'll need."

Charlie shrugged. "That's about it - what do I need? Where do I start?"

"Leave that with me." I went back into the living room to check that Bella was okay and continued to slip the laptop from my bag. After connecting to the WiFi I searched Google and brought up two separate tabs. One was for the 'Americans with Disabilities Act' form, and the second was for a local foundation - Brigadoon Service Dogs.

I returned to Charlie when I had downloaded the application form that he'd need to complete. "This needs to be printed out and then sent off. Seeing as you are doing this on Bella's behalf they will need to interview you, but also Bella to make sure that she is the right candidate. They will, however, need to do a home inspection, but if it's for something like this then I think Bella could cope with that."

Charlie read over all the new information. "What sort of price am I looking at?"

"Unfortunately it's not cheap, and it all depends on many different aspects, however most foundations have a starting price of… ten thousand dollars and depending on how many applicants they have it can take up to two years to receive the dog."

_"Fuck." _I'd never heard Charlie swear before, but his reaction was justified. "You know what, I might be in debt for the rest of my life, but I'll stop at nothing to help my daughter."

"I do have another idea…"

"Go on."

I ran my hands through my hair, wondering whether this was an idea that Charlie might be interested in. "You can train your own dog and then get them registered. If you find a legitimate trainer it will be slightly cheaper, and quicker."

Charlie let out a light laugh. "How will I know that I've picked the right dog?"

"Majority of service dogs come from specific breeders so that the characteristics and traits get passed down to the puppies. Forks PD has a K-9 unit, right? It's no different."

A large smile crossed Charlie's tired face. He knew as well as I did that this may be the best option.

"Also," I added. "Whilst training, the dog will live here with Bella."

We both peered round the wall to see that Bella had fallen asleep whilst watching her movie. She looked so vulnerable and delicate in her blanket shield. She needed her protector.

As much as Charlie hadn't planned on getting a four-legged friend, we all knew that this is what she needed.

She needed her own Nora.

0-0

**'Fly Away Home' is my favourite and I watched it whilst writing this chapter. If you haven't seen it then you must! It is such a lovely story. **

**The regulations for US versus UK service dogs are slightly different, so if you noticed anything that seemed wrong then I do apologise. I tried my best to get all the information possible. **

**But what are your thoughts? Do you think Charlie has made the right call? **


	16. Chapter 15

**There are a few time jumps in this chapter, so keep an eye on the dates :) **

Hereafter

Chapter 15

**September 12th, 2018**

**Charlie.**

The day I became a father I made a promise to Bella to give her everything that she needed, regardless of whether it would effect me financially or not. Even when she moved to Arizona with Renee, I still did whatever I could to give Bella the life that she deserved. That doesn't stop now, and it won't stop until my last day on this earth.

I couldn't be more thankful for Edward's help, and for everything that he has done these last few weeks, especially as he put everything on hold for someone he's known for such a short amount of time. Had it not been for him I wouldn't have even given the dog idea a second thought, or found myself contacting my K9 unit to get a hold of contact details for the breeders we've used in the past.

In my time in the force I've dealt with many different breeds - each one holds a different characteristic than the other - but I had my mind set on one in particular. Bella needs a companion who is not only highly intelligent, but who can appear physically intimidating and protect her in any aspect that she needed.

_"Good morning, this is Annie." _Annie and her husband have been breeding German Shepherds for the last decade, and some of our best canines had come from them.

Thankfully she knew me by name, because I sure as shit was not in the mood for formalities. "Annie, it's Charlie Swan."

_"Charlie! How are you? I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter." _

This is where I came across a hurdle. Until we had everything sorted, nothing was being mentioned and Bella was staying under the radar. I'm sure Annie wouldn't say anything to the press, but I could not risk this and potentially make Bella's mental health even worse. Instead I answered simply and got straight to the point. "Thank you. I'm calling to see if you have any litters available or due soon?"

_"I knew they'd find a place in your heart sooner or later!" _Annie laughed lightly to herself. _"Well, you're in luck. We have a six-week-old, pure-bred black and tan bitch who is waiting on a loving home, otherwise we are expecting a new litter in roughly a month." _

"When could I collect her?"

_"Personally we don't part with our puppies until they are nine weeks old, but you are more than welcome to come and visit her before then if you'd like to make sure that she is right for you." _

It was either three weeks, or three months. I didn't even have to think twice over my answer. "How much are you asking for her?"

_"Usual price is eight hundred, but for you I'll do seven-fifty." _

Seven hundred and fifty dollars did not seem a lot when it came to Bella's safety. I accepted the offer straight away.

_"I will send you a copy of her details. Your newest K9s in training are all from the same mother, so you've got a good one here."_

"Thank you, Annie. I trust you."

_"Feel free to come along and see her whenever you like, and I'll give you a call when she is ready to go home!" _

"Just on the off-chance, you don't, er, know any trainers, do you?"

_"I know a couple. I can add their information to your puppy's form." _

"Thank you, Annie. I don't think you can understand how much I appreciate this."

I hung up the call feeling positive. This was going to be the best birthday present Bella ever received.

0-0

**September 13th, 2018**

**Bella.**

I've never been fond of my birthday. I don't like the idea of ageing, and on my birthday it is literally thrown in my face that I'm older today than I was yesterday. I think that affected my mental health more than normal, because I stayed in bed for a long time after I originally woke up. Charlie had bought a bell that I would ring when I wanted to go anywhere, but I didn't ring it. I didn't want to face the reality.

I must have stayed in bed for longer than I realized, because Charlie had to come in and check on me. He said that it was almost ten o'clock and that breakfast was ready for me. I didn't want breakfast, I didn't want food, and I didn't want to go downstairs. I wanted nothing but for this mental pain to leave me alone.

"C'mon, Bells; I think you'll like what I have for you downstairs."

I sat up in the bed as I sign that I was finally ready to move.

"Would you like a bath first?"

No. I don't want a bath, I don't want anything. I was only moving to make Charlie happy.

Placed out on the kitchen table I saw French toast and strawberries. Edward was sitting at the table already with an empty place in front of him, and in the middle of the table were two presents and three envelopes.

_Three envelopes? Who is the third from?_

"Happy birthday." Edward smiled up at me and moved out the seat so that Charlie could sit me down. They were both so happy for me, and I wanted to return the happiness. It was hard, but I did my best.

I was given half a slice of French toast and three strawberries. As I took the first bite I noticed that neither Charlie nor Edward looked at me - I'd feel far too intimidated if they watched me eat. It was best that they left me do it, and at my own time.

"How are you feeling today?" Edward asked me as he poured himself another coffee from the filter jug.

Was I to answer honestly, or what he wanted to hear? Before I could hesitate for too long I simply shrugged and said: "good".

"That is excellent. Is there anything you would like to do today? Watch 'Fly Away Home'?"

_I'd like to watch _"…'Fly Away Home'." There wasn't much else I could do, but I appreciated him asking. I prayed for the day that I could leave the house again, and in time start working again. I missed the busy schedules and the change in weather - it isn't the same when you can only see it through a window.

"Do you want to open your presents, Bells?"

Ironically I hate having the attention on me, but I knew that if I opened the presents now then I can continue my day as 'normal' as possible. I accepted Charlie's offer and was handed a rectangular shaped present wrapped in shiny blue paper.

"This one is from my family as well as myself."

"Your… family?" I couldn't understand why Edward's family would want to get me a present. I had only met Emmett and Rose, so why would anyone else care about me? I'm a complete stranger to them.

"I know you're confused, but it will all make sense in a second."

He wasn't giving me any more than that, so with confusion clear on my face, I pulled at the edges of the paper and as soon as I spotted the well known Apple logo I closed the paper back over again in a rush. "No." I couldn't accept this. From the shape I knew instantly that it was an iPhone and there was no way I could allow anyone to spend so much money on someone like me. Especially as half of his family I had never even met before.

Edward covered my hands that were still holding onto the box. "We wanted to get you something that can make your daily life easier. You can set up a schedule, listen to audiobooks, and download hundreds of different self-care apps. Not only that, but you can FaceTime me, send messages and make your communication ten times easier than it is at the moment."

I had had the same iPhone for six years - it was slowly falling to pieces, but it did its job, so I never wanted to spend the money to buy a new one. I remember all the different applications and music that I had on that old phone. I remember, the day that I went missing, Victoria grabbed my phone from my bag and I never saw it again. I don't know what they did with it, but the fact that no-one had ever found it, or had been able to trace it, told me that it was probably disposed off somewhere on the way to Oregon.

I was so grateful that Edward and his family had bought me this present. I could have my own form of independence and wouldn't need to rely on Charlie's Nokia if I needed to talk to Edward when he wasn't here. It was entirely too much, and I don't know how I could ever repay them, but I was so incredibly thankful.

With teary eyes and a watery smile I mumbled out my first proper sentence in over a week. "Thank you… Edward. …Your family… are lovely."

Edward also looked emotional. "You don't need to thank any of us." He continued to pull my hands away from the present in order to finish ripping off the paper to allow me to see the box underneath. I knew it was an iPhone, but I never imagined for it to be the newest edition with FaceID and goodness knows what else.

"Alice wanted to set it up for you, so you have everyone's number - including my mother's, just incase you might need to ask her for, I dunno, decorating advice?"

I appreciated the joke, and I hoped that my smile helped convey that. The phone was sleek black in color and it felt so big in my hand compared to the one I used to own. It was going to take a while to get used to it.

Charlie had stayed quiet this whole time, but knowing how he and Edward worked together, it wouldn't surprise me if he already knew about the phone before now. After the surprise had worn off, I was handed the second present which held a new selection of clothes for me. All of mine were far too big, so I really appreciated the pajamas, sweatpants, t-shirts and hoodies that now covered the table.

"Thank you…" Charlie bent over and wrapped me in a hug. I don't know how they managed to buy these without me knowing, but I tried not to focus on that too much.

I soon found out why I had three cards - one of them was from Edward's family alone. They included a lovely, heartfelt message and even signed it from Nora too. The second was from Edward; he reminded me that I am stronger than I think I am, and to always think of the positives in life. Charlie handed me his card last, and when a white piece of folded paper fell out from the card, my confusion came straight back again.

It clearly needed an explanation, and Charlie was quick to give me that. "I'm sorry that I can't give you this gift now, but you'll understand why when you open it."

When I unfolded the paper I was met with a bunch of words and numbers that made no sense to me, until I spotted the words: _German Shepherd. _

_Wait, what?_

My breathing became labored when I saw the scanned photo of a puppy at the bottom of the page. I didn't know what was going on, and tears were quick to return. Charlie pulled his chair closer towards me and helped me control my breathing. I wasn't sure why I was anxious.

"This is your dog, Bells. She will be here in three weeks time."

_This is your dog._

_My dog._

_I'm safe now._

"Thank you… so… much." With trembling hands I held the paper closer to my face to take a better look at the dog. _My _dog.

"Bella." I looked from the paper to Charlie. "She will be trained as a PTSD service dog, and she will be by your side wherever you go."

"PT…" _what? _

I was so confused. I had so many different thoughts running through my head that I couldn't tell what was up and what was down right now.

Edward seemed to know more about it than Charlie, because he was quick to help me understand. "Sweetheart, this puppy will be trained to make your life as easy as possible. If you have a panic attack she will catch that before it happens and will know how to help. She will be your protector, but most importantly, she will be your friend."

_My _"protector…"

"Exactly. You don't need Nora anymore, because you have her."

_I can take her on a _"…walk."

I knew it must have been difficult for them to decode my sentences, especially as Edward misinterpreted what I was trying to say. "I don't know for certain, but I think she can be trained to assist your walking. If you hold onto her harness she could aid you around the house."

_She'll wear a _"…harness?" I'm not stupid, I knew that service dogs wore them, but I always thought it was for seeing eye dogs to give their owner a bit more stability.

"Yep. Even in training this puppy will wear a harness advertising her job. Look," on his phone Edward brought up a picture to help me understand better. It all became very real when I noticed the words '_working dog. Do not pet.' _I knew I had a lot of difficulties, and there is no doubt that I'll have to deal with them for the rest of my life, but I hadn't thought long term. Will I always need this dog? What happens when she's too old to do her job properly? Would I need to get another?

My main question and concern needed to be worded properly. I didn't feel strong enough to say the sentence in full, so instead I took the pen that always sat on the table and wrote my words out on the back of an envelope. _Will I be able to take her to work?_

Charlie answered this one for me, but he seemed hesitant. "Er… we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I knew what he was trying to say. I didn't like it.

_I won't be able to go back to work? _I wrote down.

I have to go back to work - I loved my job and the team that I spent all day with. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't go back there. That book shop often felt like my second home.

"I'm not saying you won't be able to go back, but I think it'll be a long time before you can."

What has my life become?

0-0

**October 5th, 2018**

**Bella**

The last few weeks have been… interesting.

I've noticed changes in myself, both good and bad. My talking is getting better slowly, however I still rely on paper and my throat continues to hurt if I talk for too long. Angela has really helped me with that and offered techniques to try and help, but only time will tell if it actually works. I hit a bump in the road when Edward had to return to Oregon and once again my eating stopped and my nightmares returned in full force. Charlie tried his best, I know he did, but everything gets ten times harder when there is only one person here for me.

Edward has been away for a week, but he's coming back today when my puppy arrives. He said he wouldn't miss it for the world. My new iPhone has really come in handy - I've used it as a distraction and plugging in the earphones has helped the negative thoughts stay at the back of my mind. I've also taken advantage of being able to text Edward and have managed to tell him truthfully how I feel. I have been 'walking' every day, and can now manage to stand up and walk to the kitchen by myself as long as I have something to steady myself. Stairs are still a no-go, and when I take a bath I still need Charlie to help me in and out, however I now have the strength to wash by myself.

This new found strength all comes from my eating and how my body is getting stronger. I still rely mostly on my soup and strawberries, however I have added a few extra food items into my diet like mashed potatoes, oatmeal and dark chocolate. I asked for foods that would be easy for me to swallow and digest. My mind constantly tells me to stop eating, but Angela continues to remind me that I know what I need to do, and no matter how much my mind tells me something, it can never stop me from physically moving my hand up to my mouth.

Angela was so pleased for me when I mentioned that Charlie had bought me a dog. She said that she couldn't wait to meet my puppy and was certain that she would soon see a massive change in my mental health. The day after my birthday Edward helped me order everything I would need for my puppy. We bought a bed, bowls, a leash, toys, but most importantly he helped me order a harness for her. Apparently, because she isn't going to be trained by an organization, we get to order our own harness. I ordered two - one for now, and then one for when she is bigger. They are both red and I had some patches to be attached to it:

_PTSD Service Dog. Do Not Distract. _

_Not All Disabilities Are Visible. _

_In Case of Emergency, Do Not Separate Service Dog from Handler._

_Service Dog. Stress & Anxiety Response. _

It all became very real when Charlie and Edward attached the patches to the harness. It was almost like I didn't want to believe it. I now had a disability whether it was physical or mental, and it was all because one man was sick in the head. Today everything will change for me. Edward was arriving in five minutes, and as soon as he gets here Charlie will leave to collect my puppy. My new protection.

Edward sent me a message to say that he was outside. On shaky legs I stood from the couch and, with my hand holding onto the back of the seat, I guided myself out of the living room and to the front door. Charlie had a very proud look on his face - he knew how much this means to me.

Unlocking the door was still a struggle for me, but with both hands I managed to open it and reveal Edward's smiling face on the other side. I had done it. I had finally answered the door by myself.

"You did it!"

"I… did it." I felt confident enough to tick this off my bucket list. However, because I had been standing for so long, after I had given Edward a hug I needed to use his elbow to walk us both to the kitchen where Charlie was zipping up his jacket.

"How was the drive?" He asked.

Edward slumped onto the chair and dropped his bag to the floor. I was so thankful that he made these trips so often because it was clear that it took a lot out of him. "Tiring, but at this point I could do it in my sleep."

Charlie snorted out a laugh and then tapped his pockets as a way to double check that he had everything. "Right, Bells, is there anything you need before I go?"

I knew that if I asked for anything it would delay Charlie for longer, and the sooner he left the sooner he would get back. Thankfully Edward assured him that he was happy to get anything that I needed.

"Okay." Charlie dropped to be level with me. "I'll be roughly an hour. Edward is here, the doors are locked - you'll be perfectly safe, okay?" He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my head. It was clear that Charlie was anxious about leaving me for the longest period of time, but he knew that I was in safe hands.

The only question is, did I know that?

After Charlie left my mood had dropped and I tried my very best to stop the thoughts from taking over. Edward asked me if I wanted any food, which I quickly declined. We made our way through to the living room and Edward suggested setting everything up for when the puppy arrives. We pulled the plastic wrap off of her bed, toys and bowls, and then set out the training harness.

"I have one more thing to add…" Edward rummaged around in his bag before bringing out a paper gift bag.

"What… is this?" I couldn't accept anything else from Edward - he wanted to buy everything for the puppy already. What else was there to get?

"I hope you hadn't changed your mind on her name…" He opened the bag and worked his way through the paper before pulling out a light brown dog collar, with a bone-shaped tag dangling off the front. Engraved on the back of the tag was my cell phone number, and then on the front was my puppy's new name: _Luna. _

I had found it difficult to come up with her name and had written down thousands of different options, but I kept on going back to Luna. The moon had always fascinated me, especially how every single person in the world was looking at the same object. The moon is always looking over you, and Luna will be looking over me.

"Thank you. I… love it."

I pulled Edward in for a hug, and a smile broke out across my face as he kissed the crown of my head.

"How are you feeling?"

For the first time in a long time I spoke honestly, not what my head told me to say. "Overwhelmed… yet excited."

"You know how you feel with Nora? You'll feel the same with Luna, but it'll be ten times better."

_I can _"still… see Nora?" I doubt I'd be here now if it wasn't for that dog. She will always hold a place in my heart.

"Of course you can! The next time you come through to Oregon we can go on a walk with them both. How does that sound?"

I smiled. It felt good. It felt very good.

0-0

Charlie kept his promise. An hour and ten minutes after he had left, I heard his cruiser pull up outside. My excitement was quick to peak when he entered the room with a green blanket in his arms, and Luna's head poked over the top to check out her new surroundings. I was quick to notice the tanned spots around her eyes, on the base of her ears and ruffled down her neck. She was gorgeous.

"Ready to meet your girl, Bells?"

Edward held my hand in support as Charlie made his way over and placed her down onto my lap. At first I couldn't believe how big she was, and from the size of her paws I knew that she was going to grow into a big dog. "Hello…" I cooed down to her. From the sound of my voice, Luna jumped into action and nuzzled her head underneath my chin. She was so soft; my fingers got lost in her fur.

"I think she likes you, Sweetheart."

Luna wriggled around on my lap and up onto my chest, so much so that I had to have Edward put his hand out incase she fell off.

"Hello… Luna." I knew that she didn't know her name, but I swear she responded to it. Her hazel eyes met mine, and I could already tell that this was my protector.

Luna ended up getting slightly restless on my lap, so we let her down to the floor, where we watched in amusement as she sniffed around the legs of the table, jumped up to paw at Charlie's knees, and then chewed on Edward's shoe laces. Then all of a sudden Luna stopped what she was doing and sat back on the floor. Her eyes searched the room, and when she found me she bounded back over to my feet.

"This girl is smart," Charlie announced. "She already knows her job."

"Luna…" I dangled her toy rope over the front of the couch. I wanted to play with her properly - lie on the floor, or run around and be silly - but that was too much for me right now. Hopefully with the toys I can entertain her like this for now.

Every time that Luna played, or experienced something new, I found myself smiling. She was already distracting me without knowing it.

I couldn't wait to watch her work, and see how things would improve.

0-0

**I have had Luna planned since I thought about Nora, so I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally bring her into this story!**

**I have made a picture collage of Luna, her collar etc, and then what she will look like as she gets bigger. It will be on RosieRathbone FanFiction on Facebook if you would like to check it out! **

**Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think! **


	17. Chapter 16

**Thank you again for all your kind words! **

Hereafter  
Chapter 16

**November 9th, 2018  
****Edward.**

_"Thank you so much for your help."_

"Not a problem. I'm glad I could help." I hung up with my final client of the day and closed the laptop with a loud sigh of relief. I had a few emails to respond to, but that was it.

A knock came from the door behind me, and Esme poked her head around it with a cheerful smile. I still wasn't used to living here with my parents, especially when it came to work. Normally I would set up an office where I was sat, but with the added noises coming from both my parents I had to hide away in Dad's old office. It almost felt like I was a stranger in my own home.

"Dinner is ready if you'd like some."

"Sure. I'll, er, be through in a second."

As mom left the room, Nora ran in before she could close the door. Nora plodded over towards me and rested her head upon my lap. "Hey, girl." I scratched her ears and couldn't help but think about Bella. It had been a month since Luna came into her life, and it had been two weeks since I was last through in Forks. Luna had started her training and I received daily updates in the form of pictures or text messages. I was so proud with how far Bella has come these last few weeks, and I knew that Luna played a big part in her improvement.

"C'mon." I stood from my seat and slapped my thigh for Nora to follow me. She stayed beside me step-by-step, and when I took my place at the dining room table, the large dog collapsed by my feet, almost as though she was waiting for that moment that food fell to the floor. I can't say I'm a messy eater, but perhaps my hand will slip whilst cutting the chicken.

Carlisle professionally poured out two glasses of white wine, as I sipped on a glass of iced water. I often felt like the odd one out during family meals - everyone understands my reasons not to drink alcohol, but asking for a water when everyone asks for something alcoholic always emphasizes my differences between us all. I suppose that's another reason why I prefer to live by myself - I can live how I want without the fear of judgement.

"How is Bella coping, son? Is the puppy settling in okay?" Carlisle interrupted my thoughts. They used to ask me daily how she was doing, but now that there have been some major improvements they don't ask as much.

"Yeah, they are all doing great. Luna seems to know her job already."

Esme patted her chest with a sad smile. "Well, we know from experience the love that dogs can bring into the house. I'm so happy that she has Luna now."

"Have you noticed a change in her eating?" Carlisle will forever be a doctor, no matter whether he is retired or not.

"Unfortunately not since I last informed you. She still has her porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch, and then mashed potatoes for dinner, but she isn't eating any less, so I suppose that's a positive."

"Absolutely. She has found a menu that agrees with her, and as long as it increases her strength then there is no point in changing anything yet."

Every time I came home I always worried that she would deteriorate. I knew that Charlie would tell me if anything serious happened, and she had the distraction of Luna, but I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. I tried to talk to Bella whenever she got in contact with me, but sometimes it wasn't possible to reply straight away - especially if I was working. What does that do to her mental health? Will she start to doubt my care for her? It was never clear, and no-one will ever know what was going to happen until it happened.

Whenever I had to leave, she asked me to stay. Her teary eyes broke my heart, the calls of my name, and the way she reached out the door for me. I apologized as much as I could, but every time my car left her street I envisioned my phone ringing because I needed to return. What Bella didn't know was that I would pull over as soon as I was out of sight, and cry and cry until I had the ability to drive again.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I looked from my plate up to the concerned faces of my parents. "What?"

"You're going to break the plate if you don't stop carving."

That was when I noticed I had continued to cut into the ceramic plate after my knife had made its way through the chicken breast. "Fuck. Sorry."

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem very distant."

I had to be honest with my parents. They wouldn't believe anything else.

I dropped my cutlery onto the plate and ran my hands through my hair roughly. "I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing."

"Doing the right thing with what, sweetheart?" Esme asked.

"I do the right thing for myself by coming home, but at what expense? Any second now I could get a phone call saying that Bella has passed out from having another panic attack. Would she still have them if I hadn't left?"

Carlisle ignored his food in order to give me his full attention. "One of the things that you need to understand is that Bella will be having these panic attacks whether you are there or not. I understand that this is tough for everybody involved, but you also need to think about yourself. What help will you be if you run yourself to the ground?"

"But she needs me! I am lucky enough to have control over my panic attacks, but this is all brand new to her."

"You may have control, but in order to keep it that way you need to relax and rest."

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "I can't relax unless I know that she is okay."

"Edward." Esme jumped into the discussion. "Why is it that you come back home?"

"Because this is where I feel comfortable." It was then that I knew what she was trying to say.

"Exactly, and what will happen if you don't feel comfortable? Your mind will take advantage and then you'll no longer have the control that you say you have."

"Bella doesn't understand that. I mean… she does, but the negative thoughts don't allow her to accept that." I sighed and downed the last of my water. "This is why I'm confused - nothing makes sense anymore and I don't know what to do."

"We cannot tell you what to do, but we can try and reassure you." Carlisle sat up straighter in his chair. "Once her dog has been trained, Bella will have the full protection that she needs. It won't be long until that happens, and then everything will seem better for all of you. Right now I suggest that you offer your comfort in any way that you can - whether that is in person or through the phone. However you also need to comfort yourself. These things will get sorted out."

0-0

At 7:50 on the dot I had a text from Bella simply saying: **Are you free to talk?**

I replied with: **Always.**

Bella went to bed at eight o'clock every night, and for the last two weeks she has asked to talk to me before she goes to sleep, but I never know whether it will be in the form of a phone call, FaceTime or text message. It all depends on how her day went and whether she wanted to speak or not. It would always start off with a text message, and then it would either continue with that, or my phone would ring.

This time, my phone rang but the tune was different than my normal ringtone. It was a FaceTime. As soon as I had accepted the call the screen lit up with an image of Luna curled up on the foot of Bella's bed with her large ears flopped over the back of her head. Plushie Nora sat between the two of them. "She looks comfy." I announced.

_"Luna loves my… bed." _

Through the screen I watched as Bella reached over a stroked the puppy's fluffy fur. "Did she have training today?"

_"Yes." _

"That's good. What did she learn?"

_"More… commands."_

"How has your day been?" We hadn't spoken much today, and Bella had stayed very quiet about how she felt, so now seemed like the best time to ask her.

_"Okay…" _I had learnt that 'okay' in Bella talk actually meant 'not great, but I managed'.

"Just okay?" Usually her answer would be 'good' or 'bad'. Instead of answering my question, Bella zoomed in on Luna's sleeping frame and found amusement in how her ears would twitch in her sleep. "Bella?" I needed to get to the bottom of this. If not for her sake, then for mine. I had to know if she was alright. Her distractions continued. She was dodging the question. "Sweetheart, what happened today?"

_"I… miss you."_

"I miss you, too."

_"When… are you… coming back?" _

I really hoped that she didn't spot the guilt that ran across my face. I needed to appear positive to her, and my current expression did not scream positivity. "I'm not sure just yet, but I don't think it'll be too long." Bella stayed very quiet. I wish she had the camera pointed at her so that I could read how she was feeling. "What's wrong?" I knew what was wrong, but we had been told by Angela to have Bella verbalize it.

Another distraction came when Luna woke up from her nap and began to pounce around on the bed. Bella's soft laughs echoed through the phone and I hoped that that meant Luna was doing her job by dismissing the negative thoughts. "She's getting big." I commented.

_"Luna grows… quickly."_

"It won't be long before she's fully grown." I really wanted to get back to the previous topic, but now was not the time. Bella was happy, and the last thing I wanted was for her to go to bed upset. Tomorrow I will ask her again, and hopefully receive the answer I was looking for.

_"I'm tired." _Bella had turned the camera on herself. She was settled under her covers with both Plushie Nora and Luna lying beside her. Her eyes were sunken and dark, emphasizing her sleepiness.

"We can end the call here and I will talk to you tomorrow, okay?" Bella simply nodded, and with her spare hand she brought the cover further up her body. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

_"Goodnight."_

0-0

**November 10th, 2018.**

Insomnia seemed to hit me last night.

I finally fell asleep at six-thirty, but my alarm was set for nine.

All night I tossed and turned trying to get comfy and to allow my mind to shut off. I opened my window, I closed my window. I kicked off the cover, and then put it back on again. I was so restless, and so exhausted, but nothing worked. My insomnia used to be really bad and I had to rely on sleeping pills in order for me to fall asleep, but then my body grew immune to them. I once went forty-two hours without closing my eyes once, and even then I couldn't sleep. I spoke to my dad about it, and wondered whether the medication could have caused this, but I needed those pills to stay sane. Unfortunately it is one of the side effects that I need to live with, and often do.

Talking about pills, I made sure to take mine this morning. I could just tell that it was going to be a tough day, and I needed all the help that I could get. I followed my usual morning routine before heading downstairs for breakfast. I was grateful to see that Esme had already brewed some coffee, so I helped myself to a mug and threw some bread into the toaster.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

I turned to see Esme coming through the back door with Nora on a leash. Nora shook her large body to rid herself of the rain that soaked her fur. "Mornin'." I mumbled.

"Do you feel better after last night?"

I turned back round to the counter as my toast popped. "Yeah, and no." I replied, tearing off the lid of the butter. "I didn't sleep very well. I think I've got too much on my mind."

"Try and distract yourself. Focus on your work and give your mind the time it needs to rest."

"Yeah - I'll do my best."

With breakfast in hand I made my way back to dad's office, where I had left my laptop from last night. Nora followed me; her company was more than welcome. She made herself comfy beside the desk chair, and without thinking I snapped a picture of the relaxed dog and sent it off to Bella with the caption: **my work buddy. I hope your day goes well.**

I tried to distract myself like Esme had said, and worked solidly for an hour after signing on. I helped a few people find old, deleted documents on their computers, and then I helped an elderly woman attach a photo file onto an email for her son. I really enjoyed that part about my job - this lady could have easily phoned a member of her family, or even Googled the answer, but instead she took the long way round and phoned a tech company for assistance. It felt good to help them when needed, especially when they thanked me for all my 'hard work'.

After my first hour was up, I checked my phone to see that Bella had replied to my message of Nora (who was still lying peacefully at my feet). Bella had also taken a picture, this one was of Luna in her harness with the leash attached. Her caption was much longer than mine.

**I slept well. Luna is off for her training session and I'm about to have a bath. Angela is coming back today, so I'll let you know how that goes. Tell Nora that I miss her cuddles. And yours.**

It always amazed me when I received messages from Bella. I knew that she had those words in her head, but it always blew my mind when I saw them written out in front of me. It told me that she wanted to speak - she wanted to say those thoughts out loud. Hopefully one day she'll have the ability to do just that.

I replied to her message as I helped myself to another coffee. The first one was not enough.

**Nora follows me everywhere just now - perhaps she's thinking that you'll be here too? I'm looking forward to the day that we can take both dogs on a walk. How did Luna's session go? She looked very smart in her harness. **

That was how our messages went for majority of the day. I always informed her when I had to get back to work, but whenever I took a break I would reply to whatever it was that she had said. Bella informed me that Luna now knew a few basic commands and was in the process of learning the difference between 'come' and 'here'. Apparently those two similar commands mean something completely different to a service dog. Bella also needed to know the difference. If she was to say 'come', Luna needed to sit on Bella's preferred side in a heel position. If she said 'here', Luna just needed to come up to Bella - she didn't need to sit, and it didn't have to be on a particular side.

It was like a whole new language that Bella needed to learn. I had seen the list and descriptions of the thirty commands that Luna will learn, and even I was confused by them all. The reading material gave Bella something to do during the day, and I know how much she loves learning, so I can imagine that this is the perfect distraction for her.

At two o'clock I took a lunch break - I made a sub sandwich out of whatever we had in the refrigerator. Once again, I had another message from Bella, but this one was different than the others. **Do you want to see her improvement?** Is all she wrote, and then attached a video. I was quick to hit the play button, and I'm not ashamed to say that my eyes welled up with tears of happiness. Tears of pride. The video must have been filmed by Charlie. Bella sat at the edge of the couch with Luna playing about on the floor.

_"Luna… watch me." _Instantly the puppy stopped playing and stared straight at her owner. _"Sit." _With her eyes still on Bella, Luna dropped down her backside. _"Lie…" _Again, she followed every command but never broke eye-contact. When Bella finally said _"Luna… up!" _Bella congratulated Luna by giving her a treat. Instantly the puppy broke from her trance and returned to running around the living room floor. The video ended there, however I rewatched it several times. Not only did it show Luna's improvement, but also Bella's. Her speech was slow, but she spoke those commands without thinking. I think that is what made me cry the most.

**I am so incredibly proud of both of you. I cannot wait to see that in person. **

0-0

I'm certain I received more phone calls than emails today. Every time I found myself with a spare five minutes, it would ring again. Majority of the time it was either people I work with, or those who needed my help, which I'm fine with, however sometimes I would like some peace for a minute.

Said peace was found at five o'clock - an hour before I was due to sign off. I grabbed some food and a drink from the kitchen, and replied to a couple emails that had pinged through. Unfortunately, my phone rang once again, but this time it was Emmett calling. I relaxed back into the chair as I answered his call.

"Hey, Emmett."

_"Are you at home?" _His tone had lost the usual cheeriness that it normal held. I instantly began to panic. What's happened? Is something wrong?

"Yeah. Well, I'm at mom and dad's."

_"Okay. I'm going to come over on my way back from the station." _

"Is… something wrong?"

Emmett hesitated, which is never a good sign. _"Er… not sure. I'll explain everything when I get there." _

We ended the call then. I was quick to sign off on the laptop in order to mentally prepare myself for his arrival. I couldn't work out what was so important that it would need to be said in person? Every other time it has been said over the phone. Why is it any different now?

Emmett turned up at the house twenty minutes after our call. I had practically paced a whole in the floor from my constant worrying and the inability to stand still. Seeing as he had just come from work, Emmett was dressed in his full work attire along with his heavy duty boots and large outdoor jacket. Esme greeted her son like always, and said that we were free to use the living room if needed.

"Can you _please _tell me what the fuck is going on." Like with Bella, Nora had caught onto my agitation and stayed by my side incase I needed her. I definitely did at that moment.

Emmett slouched forward with his elbows braced against his knees. "You don't need to overreact, baby brother, but it is important that I pass on this information."

_Easier said than done. _

"Overreact about what? What is it that you are trying to tell me?"

Emmett sighed deeply, and rubbed away at the back of his neck. "You know how we set up surveillance at your house to keep track of James' whereabouts?"

"Yes…?" I didn't like the sound of this. I tapped my knee in order for Nora to place her head on my lap. I needed that soft comfort.

"There has been movement from him, and he has been seen in that area and around your house briefly which tells us that he is still living in that building."

The idea that that asshole had been lurking around my house made me feel physically sick. No doubt he was looking for Bella - he wouldn't let his game of cat and mouse finish. "Why can't you just arrest him? It's obvious that he is living in the place where Bella was held captive, and where Victoria was murdered!" Honestly, the rules and regulations really pissed me off sometimes.

"I understand your frustration - believe me, we're feeling the same way. When it was clear that that is where he lives, we went to arrest him. He never confessed to committing a crime when we spoke to him, but now that we have the evidence of him living there, it's enough for us to bring him in."

"Brilliant. So, he's off the streets now?"

Once again, Emmett sighed. "…No."

Of course not. It was never going to be that easy. "Why not?" I don't think I wanted to hear his answer, but I had to.

"When we got there, he was nowhere to be seen. We had a full search party out looking for him, and we kept an eye on the cameras, but there has been no sighting of him. Yesterday we entered the ballet studio, and he has literally packed up and left."

My foot bounced on the floor as the agitation took over. Mixed with the little sleep that I was running on, meant I was very close to having a panic attack. I took some deep breaths to control myself before asking: "where is he?"

My hands shook violently, my heart felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest. I felt the cold sweat that covered my body, but no matter how much I focused on my breathing, nothing seemed to work. I was terrified.

The next thing I recall was Carlisle kneeling beside me with a glass of water and two pink pills in the palm of his hand. He didn't need to tell me what to do, he also didn't need to tell me what had happened. For the first time in a long time, I had lost control.

"Are you okay, Edward?" He asked me soothingly with one hand on my shoulder.

I rested my head back against the seat and, with my eyes closed, I took five deep breaths. "I'm okay." I whispered.

"Just remember what you were taught."

I didn't remember a lot about my therapy sessions, but I did remember one thing. The Five Steps routine.

_5 things that you can see. _

_4 things that you can touch._

_3 things that you can hear._

_2 things that you can smell._

_1 thing that you can taste. _

With the double dosage and the Five Steps I had managed to calm myself down enough in order to continue the conversation with Emmett.

"Are you good?" He asked with concern.

"I'm good."

"Are you sure you can continue?"

"Yes." I needed an answer - I needed to know what Emmett had to say.

"Okay. So you asked me where he is. That is why I'm here… we don't know where he is, but we do have a suspicion."

"He's in Forks." It didn't take a genius to work that one out.

"Now, we have informed Forks PD and I personally phoned Charlie myself so they all know to keep a look-out."

I drank some of my water to help with the dry throat that had appeared. Thankfully the medication was taking affect, so it will calm down a panic attack if one appeared. "What about Bella?"

Emmett adjusted the way he sat and scratched behind his ear. "She has not been told, and will not be told."

I couldn't work out if that was the best thing or not. Her trances and nightmares are bad enough as it is, so is it best that she was unaware? "Do we definitely know that he is there?" I spoke through my clenched teeth.

"No. There is a chance that he might have left all of this behind; because he knew that we are after him, in which case he could be half way across the country by now."

I knew my brother well - I could decode his words. "You think that is very unlikely."

Emmett cleared his throat with a light cough. "Bella once mentioned something about how this is his obsession. I don't think he'll stop until he has won."

_Won. _Like Bella is some damn trophy. The nauseated feeling returned.

"Okay. So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"There are a few ways for him to get there - mainly bus, train or car. We are watching on all the security cameras for public transport, but if he drove we have mapped out the various routes he could take and are keeping a close eye on the gas stations. Unfortunately there is not a lot that we can do, but we are informing whoever we can to get his name and mugshot out there."

He was now a wanted man, and I would love nothing more than to beat his face to a pulp. _Sick fuck. _

"What can I do? How can I help?"

Emmett shrugged. "That is completely up to yourself. You can either stay here and I'll inform you whenever I have an update, or you can head to Forks."

It didn't take me long to decide what I wanted to do, but I had some queries of my own that needed to be answered first. "You said there has been no sign of him; how long has he been 'off the radar' for?"

"Two days. Yesterday we noticed he had vanished from the building, and between then and now we have been trying to track down the fucker. Before you ask - Charlie was informed yesterday."

"So he could be in Forks right now?"

"Technically yes, he could. But again - we're doing what we can to hunt him down."

"Why was he not been seen before now? It has been two months since you put up those damn cameras!"

Emmett sighed and slapped his hands against his the arms of the chair. "Edward, I don't know where he was, or what he has been doing. We have been keeping a close eye on all surveillance, and as soon as he was spotted, we made a move."

I apologized to Emmett for my crappy attitude. He was only doing his job, but I was sick with worry and had allowed my frustration to take over. "I'm going to drive back to Forks, just incase. Should I maybe take Nora? Y'know, for back up protection?"

It was more of a question for myself, but Emmett answered it anyway. "You can if you want, but Bella has her own dog now."

"Luna is a puppy." She wouldn't know to warn them of any danger.

"Fair enough. But remember, Charlie is a cop with guns - they are protected."

No matter what Emmett had said, I knew the right answer.

Esme was okay with my sudden decision, she told me to stay safe and to phone her daily. After packing a duffle bag with clothes and other items, I didn't delay leaving any longer. I wanted this to be a surprise to Bella, so I told her that I had conference call round about seven-thirty which unfortunately would mean I would miss her daily call before bed.

Before I hit the road I called Charlie.

_"Edward."_

I filled up my flask with a strong black coffee and held my phone between my ear and shoulder as I spoke. "Emmett has just informed me on the… _changes. _I'm leaving right now, so I won't be at the house until eleven, if that is okay?"

_"Of course. Thank you, I really appreciate the effort you're making."_

Like I had any other option.

"I just hope you don't mind having two dogs at the house. Nora is coming with me."

0-0

**I know some people are funny about service dogs being around 'regular' dogs, however this is a work of fiction, and I would literally get shouted at in my reviews if I didn't have Nora go with him. **

**So… a lot happened in that chapter, and we learnt a little bit more about Edward's daily suffering. Fun fact, his talk about insomnia is all me. I suffer with it on a daily basis, and sleeping pills no longer work for me after my doctor had prescribed them to me. I also follow the Five Steps - it was taught to me during my therapy sessions. Woo!**

**What do you think about the ending? Has Edward made the right decision? **


	18. Chapter 17

**I'm sorry for the short delay - I had some bad mental health days which needed to be sorted. **

Hereafter

Chapter 17.

**November 12th, 2018**

**Bella**

I woke up feeling… off.

For the first time in a long time, I woke up thinking about only one thing.

Food.

The constant, aching pain in my stomach was what woke me up in the first place, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of it. I thought about what we had in the kitchen, what I could eat, and for once I didn't feel sick at the thought. I imagine it is how a drug addict feels - they need to get their fix, and until that happens, they cannot think about anything else.

The time on my phone said 4:48AM, which meant that Charlie wouldn't be awake for at least another two hours and I don't think he would hear the ringing of my bell. Edward was asleep, like always, on the couch downstairs, so he couldn't help me either. My only options were to either wait it out until one of them woke up, or attempt to get to the kitchen myself. Luna was in my room, but she was too small to help me with my stability, however Nora was downstairs with Edward, so maybe she could help me?

It was the greatest surprise when I woke up the other morning to see that Edward had arrived late the night before. He had never told me that he was coming to see me, but he had sent me a text message at midnight saying that he was here. My tears were uncontrollable, especially when I saw that he had brought Nora with him. I was scared that she wouldn't remember me, but that didn't last long. The dog has barely left my side since they arrived, and has even taught Luna a thing or two. I mean, I don't know that for sure, but whenever Nora would put her head on my lap like always, Luna would be quick to follow and curl up beside me. My two protectors.

Edward was quick to brush off my question when I asked him why he was here, and why he had brought Nora with him. He simply said that I needed them both, and wanted to surprise me. I had a feeling there was more to it than that, but for now I'm trying my best to enjoy every minute I have with them. He also didn't say how long they were staying for, but that we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Okay, enough about that. I need food, and I couldn't wait any longer.

I slipped my legs over the side of the bed and, in turn, pulled my bed socks off in order for my feet to have a bit more grip on the flooring. Before I stood up I thought to myself, is this a safe thing to do? Sure, I can get myself from room to room now, but stairs are still out of the question. Even with Charlie holding on to me and with the banister for support. However I was determined to do this - I wanted to prove to myself and to Charlie and Edward that I could manage this. I am stronger than they may realize.

"_Luna…" _I whispered as she jumped from her bed. _"…Watch me." _As trained, Luna gave me her full attention. She knew not to take her eyes off of me until I told her so, and if I moved, she moved too. It constantly amazed me how quickly she learnt all of her new words and commands - she had many more to learn, and it was going to take a long time, but it was still impressive to watch.

With both hands braced on my bed, I took a deep breath before pushing myself up into a standing position. It was five steps from my bed to the door, and then from the door to the staircase it was another seven steps. I ran my hand along the wall as I took each step, and whenever I felt slightly off balance I would stop, regain my posture, and then continue my journey. I've felt the strength in my muscles improve, but I knew that until I put more weight on, it wasn't going to get much better just yet.

I reached the stairs and quickly grabbed hold of the banister. I stared at the wooden steps before me and it almost seemed as though they were growing longer and longer. My whole body shook and if I wasn't holding onto the banister, I no doubt would have fallen to the floor. Luna stood at my side and peered up at me almost as if she was asking what I was doing. I didn't quite know what I was doing, but I knew that I needed to do this.

Slowly, slowly, I lifted my right foot barely off the floor before placing it down onto the first step, and then followed on with the left. _I've taken the first step - I can do this. _

I copied the movement, and everything was going well… until I reached the fourth step.

I don't know what it was, whether I had lost my balance, or had pushed myself too far, but before I knew it my foot slipped over the front of the step and it all happened too quickly for me to catch myself. My legs buckled underneath me as I fell and my back smacked off the bridge of the stairs as I went down them. I don't know how far I fell, but what I did know was that it hurt - it hurt really badly.

Luna, in a panic, rubbed her head against mine and licked my cheeks. I didn't know what to do, or how to get help. I didn't want anyone to be mad at me, but I had come too far, and the only thing I could do was get help and face the consequences later. Thankfully the noise must have woken Nora up because she was very quick to join Luna at my side. She nudged her muzzle underneath my arm in order for me to hook my arm around her board neck and grab a hold of her collar. As the dog stepped back, I sat up. "Thank you… Nora." I whispered, breathlessly. I was sitting up, but I still had to stand, and I knew I couldn't do that by myself.

"Nora… get… Edward." With a weak arm I pointed in direction of the living room. Nora must have understood what I was saying. As she ran off to get Edward I could tell that Luna wanted to follow behind her, but because she was still in the 'watch me' command, she patiently stood in place and offered me her comfort in any way that she could.

_Oh God, what have I done? _

_My back hurts so badly._

_I should have waited, or woken someone up. How did the need for food lead me into doing something so stupid?_

"Bella?" The horror in Edward's voice was clear as day. "What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"…Edward." I couldn't hold back the tears. They were a result of both my stupidity and the pain that radiated my entire body.

"Can you stand, Sweetheart?" Edward crouched down and looped my arm around his shoulders in order to take all of my weight. "I'm going to stand now, okay? One… two… three…"

Edward didn't rush, but soon I was standing with both concerned dogs at our feet. It was funny to see the size difference between the two of them, however it wouldn't be long before Luna matched Nora in height and build.

"Are you okay to walk? Or would you like me to carry you?" Edward rubbed my back soothingly and kept a tight hold onto my hand.

"I… I can walk…"

Once we got to the bottom of the stairs I told Edward that I wanted to go to the kitchen. I just about screamed out in rejoice when I found a seat, and was close to crying again. It was definitely a learning curve and I knew not to challenge the stairs again for a while.

"Are you okay?"

I could have hidden the fact that I was in pain, but I knew that Edward wouldn't believe me. "…My back hurts."

Edward thought over his words for a second before responding. "Am I okay to have a look?" I thought it was very sweet that he asked me for my permission, and as much as I didn't want him to see my bare, bony back, I trusted him not to judge me, and I knew that it was needed. After I accepted, Edward crossed around the table to my seat. "I'm going to lift your shirt up now, okay? If you need me to stop, please tell me."

Goosebumps covered my skin the second my shirt was lifted and it was exposed to the chill of the morning. Gently Edward scanned over my back with his fingers, but never applied too much pressure. "Okay," he sighed, lowering my shirt back down again. "It's a bit red and will probably bruise, but you should be alright. Let me know if the pain gets worse though, yeah?"

Now that I was in the kitchen and in the safety of Edward, I ended Luna's command and both dogs played around on the floor and enjoyed their freedom. It was clear to me, from the way that Edward slumped in his seat and rubbed his eyes constantly, that he needed the sleep he was robbed of. "I'm… sorry." My lips quivered. I hadn't achieved anything positive. I had failed again.

"What were you doing, Bella? You know the stairs are too much for you right now."

"I was hungry…"

The innocence in my voice made Edward smile sadly. "Why didn't you wake us up?"

_Because I don't want to constantly be a burden who can't do anything for herself. I'm stronger than this and I want to prove it. _

"…I don't know." Is all I said. It was easier to brush it off as nothing.

"Well you said you're hungry, yeah? I'll make you some oatmeal." Sometimes it was best to change the subject and let the previous one disappear.

"Can I have… a big bowl?"

"Of course you can!" I liked seeing Edward smile. It made me happy.

0-0

I ended up having two bowls of oatmeal and a bowl of strawberries, but it still was not enough to satisfy my hunger. Once Charlie had woken up, and gotten over the shock of finding me in the kitchen, he made some bacon for himself, and a rasher for me too. Edward filled him in on everything that had happened that morning, and apart from being concerned, Charlie was not annoyed with me in the slightest.

"You've always been stubborn, Bells. I should have known this was going to happen sooner or later."

They kept a close eye on my back, but they were satisfied that it was only bruised when it hadn't hindered my movement in any way.

Once breakfast had been cleared up, and showers had, Edward offered to take the dogs on their first walk of the day. Luna didn't have training today, so it was good for her to get outside and let off some energy. I was told by her trainer that once Luna is fully qualified and a registered service dog she would only be allowed two handlers - one being myself. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think it has something to do with distraction and making sure that she isn't confused with who she is working with. When her harness is on and she is 'working' nothing is allowed to distract her, but for now it's okay if she is handled by Edward as well.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie found me in the living room shortly after Edward had left with the dogs. I was curled up on my side of the couch as always. "I was wanting to run something past you…" His hesitation did not leave me with the best feeling, and I think Charlie caught onto that, because he was quick to continue his sentence. "It's nothing to worry about. It's about Thanksgiving."

I noted the date on my phone - November 12th - and only after Charlie had mentioned it did I realize how soon that holiday was. It hadn't even crossed my mind. "Oh…" We never did much for Thanksgiving. We used to spend it with my grandmother before she died, and sometimes Charlie's friend, Billy, and his son would join us for dinner, but nothing is ever set in stone.

"Edward was wondering if we would like to join him for it, but I want you to be the one who decides."

I barely had to think about my answer. Of course I wanted him with us. "I… would like that." It meant that he would be coming back here, which always gets a 'yes' from me.

"Now," Charlie adjusted his posture as he sat on the arm of the couch. "Just so you are aware it will probably be Edward and his family…"

That would cause a problem - our kitchen table only held three seats. Any more than three people and we need to eat in the living room. "They won't… fit here."

_Ooh. Now I get it. _

"It'll be in Oregon, Bells. We'll join his family in Oregon."

That is a long drive… and a lot of people who I haven't met yet…

"Who?" I asked.

Charlie shrugged. "He just said his immediate family - so I'm assuming parents and siblings."

His parents - Carlisle and… Esme? Is that his mother's name? Then his sister, Alice and her husband (whose name I had also forgotten). Of course Emmett and Rose, and I don't think he had any more siblings, so it would only be four other people who I'd need to meet. I could do that, right?

"Luna, too?"

"Of course."

I'd have Luna and Nora to protect me, so maybe I can do this? That can be my way of showing my bravery. I also miss Emmett and Rose, so it would be nice to see them again. I wonder how their baby is getting on… it won't be long before she's born…

"I don't need an answer just yet, but give it some thought and let me know."

0-0

I still felt off that afternoon. I wasn't sure whether it was the hunger, or something else, but I definitely didn't feel right. Angela was coming for another session with me, so I made a mental note to bring it up.

When she arrived for our session I was in the middle of my second bowl of soup, and I had asked Edward to join me this time. He had met Angela before, so it was no surprise to her. He never said anything when he sat with me, but he would hold my hand if things got too much. Luna wore her harness for these sessions, to help her realize that it was time to work, and sat in the 'watch me' command.

"What soup are you having today?" She asked with a smile and took her regular seat in front of me.

"…Chicken." I drank the last spoonful before handing the bowl over to Edward in order for him to place it on the table.

"I _love _chicken soup."

"I'm… hungry."

After hearing my question, Angela opened up her pad of paper and began to scribble something down. "That's excellent. Would you say you are hungrier than normal?"

I nodded. "I… can't… stop eating… today."

"Okay, and can you tell me what you have eaten today?"

I thought about the list, but knew that that sentence would have been far too long for me to say, so I glanced towards Edward to tell Angela himself. Two large bowls of oatmeal, half a tub of strawberries, a rasher of bacon and two bowls of chicken soup. All before three o'clock. Something definitely wasn't right with me.

"First off, I think it is wonderful that you have your appetite back, and what you are experiencing today is extreme hunger -."

"Ex-Extreme…"

Was it really as simple as that?

"Extreme hunger is very common in recovering anorexics." Angela must have noticed the shocked look on my face. She sat forward in her seat. "Now I'm not saying that you have an eating disorder, however because you have experienced sudden, severe weight loss, some of the side effects will be the same. Extreme hunger is as simple as it sounds - no matter how much you eat, it will never satisfy you. Chances are you will wake up tomorrow morning and feel completely 'normal'."

_If that's normal, then why do I still feel off? _

_Why do I still have this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach?_

"Please may I ask a question?" Edward broke the silence. I nodded with a smile, and with a frown between his eyebrows, he looked towards Angela and asked: "On days like today, or in general, what should Bella be eating? Just so we're all aware."

"As long as you have a healthy mix of nutritional foods you can essentially eat whatever you'd like to, Bella. However I am not a doctor, so if you have any concerns or queries then I would suggest discussing this with a professional."

Angela pulled out a planner from her bag and flipped through the pages in thought. "How are your food fears coming along?" She asked me.

All of a sudden the barrier between my head and my mouth appeared again, resulting in me having to write down my answers. I never knew when that was going to happen, or why it happens, but I had to accept it. No matter how hard I tried, a couldn't even mutter a single word.

_I still cannot eat my fear foods, and I still rely on oatmeal, soup and mashed potatoes. _

"Okay…" She muttered as she read my words. "I think it would be best for you to try and include new dishes into your diet. In order for you to gain weight efficiently you'll need to consume at least three-thousand to five-thousand calories a day. How would you feel about starting a meal planner? Perhaps that way you could prepare yourself mentally for the foods you'll be having the next day."

Three to five-thousand sounded like far too much food for me. I never thought I would have to eat so much in order to get stronger. Am I really that bad?

"You can do that, Bella, right?" Edward squeezed my hand to break me from my thoughts.

I nodded hesitantly. I would agree for now, but I couldn't keep my promise.

"In that case," Angela took a name card from her planner and placed it down onto the table next to my soup bowl. "I will get in contact with my friend who is more experienced in this field of work. You don't have to meet her or talk to her, but if you would like that help then I can replay everything to you."

I didn't like the new feelings that raced throughout my body. My legs began to tremor, and the vibration caused Luna to put one paw over my feet. Without thinking I lifted my puppy up to my lap and rubbed my cheeks against her fur. I was scared, confused, angry… every negative emotion.

"Luna has come on so well with her training." Angela praised. "She just stopped a panic attack before it became known to you."

I don't think Luna realized how much she helped me, or how she would save me later on in the future.

0-0

**Edward.**

After Bella's meeting with Angela I could sense the negative turn she had taken. She barely spoke a word and made sure that both dogs were beside her at all times. We had made a promise to Angela that we would work on a meal plan, but for now her mental state was more important. Charlie had offered to take Nora on her evening walk, because I did it this morning, however it was easier said than done when it came to taking her away from Bella.

"Bells," Charlie dropped down to be the same height as his daughter. "Nora needs to go for her walk. We'll be back before you know it. Plus you have Luna and Edward here to look after you."

"No…"

"It's not fair to keep a dog this size inside all day. You know that."

I hated watching her lips tremble. As her tears fell she took her hand away from Nora and quickly put that hand around Luna as a way to keep her security blanket close. I wish I knew what was wrong and what I could have done to help her. It must have been something big because she had never reacted this way the last few days when it came to Nora's evening walk.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" I asked once Charlie had left through the front door. Bella shook her head, either because she couldn't answer, or she didn't want to. "Would you prefer to write it down?" I held out the paper and pen. With a feeble hand Bella took the stationery off me and wrote:

_I don't know what is wrong. Something doesn't feel right. _

"Is that why you didn't want Nora to leave?" She nodded, her head still close to Luna. "You are perfectly safe. Look…" I stood from the couch and made sure that Bella could see me at the front door from where she sat. "Charlie locked it behind him. You see that?"

_Edward, something isn't right. _Was scribbled down on the paper when I returned.

"What isn't right? Can you tell me exactly how you feel?"

_Scared. Unsure. Vulnerable. In danger._

Unfortunately that was how she felt every day, so it didn't give me anything else to work on. The only thing I could do was comfort her and reassure her. I held Bella's quivering body in my arms and placed a gentle kiss onto the side of her head. Even though she had a blanket wrapped around her, I could still feel the cold that seemed to pour off her. "Sweetheart, you're freezing. Would you like me to get you a hoodie from upstairs? You'll feel better when you warm up."

Bella nodded her head as more tears fell. "I'll be two minutes, okay? You'll be absolutely fine."

In my head I planned to get her a hoodie, perhaps some more food, and then Nora and Charlie will be back and we can settle Bella down properly for the night. If she still felt scared when it came for her to go to bed I would have Nora sleep upstairs. Whatever it took to make her feel better.

However, that wasn't how things were going to play out. I had barely stepped into her room before a blood-curdling scream came from downstairs, followed by the high-pitched yaps from Luna.

_"__Edward! Edward!" _

I grabbed the sweater that was draped over the end of her bed and ran downstairs to see what was going on. I must have been out of the room for no more than a minute. I couldn't understand how everything could go so wrong in that time.

Bella was found in her original position, staring at the living room door with wide, blood-shot eyes. "Edward." She cried. Luna had been let down to the floor - she stood between the couch and the door. "J-J-James… r-right… th-there!" Bella pointed a shaking hand in my direction.

With a frown, I made a three-sixty circle. "Nobody is here, Sweetheart. It was all in your imagination."

"Edward…"

I closed the distance between us. "Bella, I would have seen them if anyone was there." The downstairs of this house only had the living room and kitchen. The front door was locked, and the living room only had one way in and out of it. I certainly would have seen something, or at least heard something!

I had witnessed hundreds of Bella's visions and trances, yet this one had spiked the biggest reaction. I didn't want to admit that she was telling the truth, but an uneasy feeling quickly filled my body. Luna's barks also didn't sit well with me, however she may have barked because Bella screamed. That is what I was telling myself anyway.

"I'll go and take a look, okay?" As I left the room Luna followed me instead of staying with Bella. That movement alone caused my heart to race. I was on the phone to Charlie before I had made it to the kitchen.

A cold breeze reached me first, followed by the sight of the back door.

Wide open.

0-0

**I'm not going to say anything… I'm sorry. **


	19. Chapter 18

**I just want to quickly apologise for the lack of review responses for the last chapter - FFN was playing up as is common for this site, and it would crash every time I hit the reply button. **

**I also want to apologise for the cliffhanger in the last chapter. That was mean, I'm very aware. **

**Enjoy! **

Hereafter  
Chapter 18

**November 12th, 2018  
****6:27PM.  
****Bella.**

The darkness had appeared again.

I was numb. Unable to move, unable to speak, unable to do anything but panic. In silence.

James was there. James was _right there, _standing at the door. He had his signature grin on his face, and boots in his hands. He was barefoot, no doubt to help muffle the sounds of his footsteps. He never said a word, but as soon as I screamed for Edward's help, James gave me the universal gesture for _'I'm watching you', _and then walked away before Edward made it down the stairs.

He didn't believe me, he said it was all in my head, but I knew differently. I could practically smell the stale cigarette smoke that lingered on James' clothes.

It wasn't in my head. _It wasn't._

Edward went to search the kitchen and something in him changed. His mannerisms and the scared look on his face told me that I was right. I knew I was right. Edward stayed in the living room with me, but every so often he would walk into the kitchen, look around, and then walk out again. I wanted to talk to him, but that was out of the question. I watched Edward make a few phone calls in the foyer, but he spoke so quietly that I couldn't hear what was being said. I think he phoned 911, and he had definitely phoned Charlie, but I don't know who the other calls were made to.

"Bella." Edward dropped down beside me - his eyes were glistening with tears, and his cheeks were flushed. I wish I could have told him not to cry, but that was impossible. Instead of talking, I took one hand away from where it sat around Luna, and brushed his cheeks delicately. "I'm so sorry, Bella." More tears appeared and dropped down his face. "I never should have doubted you, and I shouldn't have said that it was all made up. I'm so, so sorry, but I promise that we will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe again."

I needed to ask Edward a question, so I chewed away at one of my fingernails as I thought over how I could accomplish that. There was no way I could mutter a single word right now, especially not with James so close by, I also couldn't risk writing anything down - if he's watching me, then he might be able to see what I'm writing, and the consequences aren't worth it. I needed to know where Charlie was, and who I had to protect me.

Edward must have known that I was wanting to say something seeing as he handed me the pen and paper. "Don't worry about using your voice right now, sweetheart. Write down whatever it is that you're wanting to say."

I shook my head to dismiss his idea. If James saw me converse, I'd spend twenty-four hours tied to the wall, and without food, for every word that I spoke. I once spent a week with the collar around my neck because I asked to go to the bathroom. In the space of those seven days I was given a sandwich, and nothing else apart from one cup of water every so often. I was made to sit in the same soiled clothes, without any means to go anywhere or to stand up, for the entirety of that week. That is why I want to improve my muscles - I'm so used to sitting down that I almost can't remember what it's like to go on a long walk, or even run around a backyard.

Thankfully Edward's phone began to ring which gave me the answer I was looking for. I could hear the echo of Charlie's words, informing Edward that he was outside with Nora searching the perimeter. Cops were on their way here now and Charlie would come inside once they had arrived. He then asked how I was doing, to which Edward replied with: "Not good, but I'm doing my best to look after her."

_Okay, so Charlie and Nora are outside… and more cops are on their way… _

I should have felt protected, but I didn't.

James managed to get into the house without Edward knowing, which means he is capable of doing it again. He knows how to hunt, he knows how to hide, he knows how to pounce. It didn't matter how many policemen stood in between him and I - he'd still find a way to get me.

That single thought alone sent shivers down my spine and my body began to jitter violently. Luna sat up from my lap in order for her to put her front paws over my shoulders as if she was cuddling me. I found myself looking at every corner of the room to make sure that _he _wasn't in here. The curtains had been closed, every door and window bolted, yet that still didn't reassure me.

"Hey," Edward rubbed my quivering hands. "Let's find a way to distract your mind."

_No. If I'm distracted it'll only make his mission easier. I need to stay alert and focused. _

Again, before any of that could happen, we both were interrupted by a loud, viscous bark coming from outside. I knew it was Nora and that she was warning whoever had angered her, but Nora is such a calm dog, so I knew instantly who she was barking at. Without saying a word, Edward stood from the couch and made his way over to the window. He didn't want to draw too much attention to us, so he slyly peeked behind the drawn curtains to see what was going on.

The sound of the sirens progressing closer and closer was a calming noise, yet it still terrified me. It sounded as though there was a lot of them, which only emphasized how serious my case was.

Nora continued to bark, Edward continued to watch.

"The cops are here, love." He mumbled just loud enough for me to hear. "Nora has caught onto some sort of trail - Charlie is handing her over to one of the men to see where it leads them."

Nora remembered my scent from when I first arrived at Edward's house, she knew that that smell meant danger and had remembered it after all this time. I knew that dogs had powerful noses, but it amazed me how strong their ability to smell really was.

"Charlie is coming inside now. The next person to come through that door will be him, okay?"

Just like Edward said, I heard the clear sound of the front door being unlocked, and finally my dad was back in the room with me. He didn't waste any time in wrapping me in his arms, asking over and over whether I was okay. I nodded my head - the only form of communication that I could manage.

"Bells," Charlie kept his hand on my arm as he spoke. "I need you to be aware that all of this attention has obviously piqued the interest of the neighbors - people know about you now, so we can no longer hide from the real world."

My neighbors were the least of my worries. Majority of the people who lived around here have known me since I was a baby - I hoped that that meant they would give us the privacy we need. I was more worried about news reporters who want to get a hold of all the gossip.

"Also," Charlie continued, he seemed a little more hesitant this time. "We have people searching for that son-of-a-bitch, however they will need to talk to you. I've asked Waylon - it'll just be him, but I need you to try and tell him as much as you can."

Waylon Forge has been Charlie's friend and colleague for as long as I can remember. He played Santa one year, and is loved by everyone in town.

"Charlie," Edward spoke for me. "Bella has shut down completely in regards to communicating; she won't even write the words down. I'm not sure how she's going to talk to Waylon."

"In that case can you tell him whatever it is that you know? They need every piece of information, even down to the smallest of details."

"Of course."

_The smallest of details… _When I thought back to what had happened I couldn't seem to remember anything. It had all happened so quickly, and it felt as though I had blinked and missed it all. He stood there, he grinned, he left - what more is there to say?

…_His boots in his hands… _

He was barefoot.

_He was barefoot!_

I had no idea how I was going to tell them that, but I had to get that message across somehow. If he walked across my floor with no shoes on, he would have left DNA evidence, right? But did he have socks on? I don't know… _dammit, _I wish I could have seen his feet.

Making sure I had both Edward and Charlie watching, I slipped one foot out from under my blanket and pointed at it, in hope that they would work out what I was saying.

"His feet?" Charlie queried. "What about his feet, Bells?"

_Crap. This is going to be harder than I first thought. _

With my left hand I pretended to pick something up and held it high with a fist. My mind had gone blank and I couldn't think of any other way to tell them. It would have been so much easier if I had the ability to open my mouth and let all the words free.

"Holding something?" Edward guessed.

"He picked something up?"

I felt like I was playing a thrilling game of Charades - my timer was counting down and my team members were still to guess my chosen word. Unfortunately there was no lighthearted humor or friendly rivalry.

The only thing I could think of was to point down at Charlie's shoes and then repeat the 'pick up' gesture.

"He was holding his shoes!" Charlie exclaimed - the penny had finally dropped.

Edward spoke up with his own theories which matched my own. "That would explain why I never heard anything, but there would be very little evidence to find if he still had socks on - surely someone like him wouldn't be stupid enough to walk around with no socks on?"

"What shoes was he 'wearing', Bells?"

_Boots. Always boots. _

But there was no way to get that message across, so I let it slide and they went on to the next order of business. Charlie said that people will be dusting for fingerprints in the kitchen, so we were to stay out of there for now, and to try and keep the dogs away too.

As they talked and ran ideas off of each other, I felt my phone vibrate underneath my blanket. Most of the time my notifications are from Edward, but occasionally I would get a message from Rosalie, so I knew instantly who it was this time.

**Hey, Bella - Emmett told me about everything going down this evening. I wish I could be there for you, but stay strong and remember that you have more power over him this time. I'll speak to you soon. Take care.**

That explained who Edward had been talking to on the phone - of course he informed Emmett. The message from Rosalie really hit my heart, she had so much to worry about, yet she was concerned about me? I'm really not that important. The tears and tremors caught Edward's attention, so did the phone that I had dropped beside me. I snuggled my head into Luna, who still had her paws over my shoulders.

"That's a lovely message from Rosalie." Edward smiled after reading the text. "Would you like me to reply for you, and then you don't have to do the typing yourself?"

_James wouldn't know I had sent the message… right? If Edward does the typing I shouldn't get into trouble… correct? _

I agreed to his suggestion and watched in fascination as Edward used both thumbs to type out a reply. It amazed me how quickly he typed. Once the message had been sent, Edward showed me the screen. His message was very sweet and to the point.

**Hey Rose, its Edward. Bella can't talk right now but she wanted me to tell you how much your message meant to her. Thank you for caring and we'll get in contact with you soon. **

All of a sudden a knock came from the front door, it was a tuneful knock which should have told me that it was most probably Waylon, but that thought was not easy for my head to compute. I didn't think it was possible for my throat to get any tighter than it already was. I thought my heart was about to beat out of my chest, a cold sweat trickled down my body and I grabbed a hold of Edward's arm as a silent plea - begging him to stay.

"You're okay, sweetheart; it's only Waylon. You're perfectly safe."

Am I? Am I perfectly safe?

Everyone kept on telling me that, but the last time I felt 'perfectly safe' James appeared in my living room. Edward didn't believe me at first, so how can I believe him now?

Even when Waylon walked into the living room with Nora, I still didn't feel safe. James came through the back door - is that one covered? Is every entrance covered? How do I know that he isn't standing in my yard right now?

"Hey, Bella. It's so good to see you." Waylon crouched down with a warm smile on his face. It felt good to see him again, but I wish it was through different circumstances. Waylon tickled Luna between the ears before taking a casual seat beside Charlie. Nora settled at my feet as usual. "So, I just want you to tell me everything that happened this evening, sweetie, okay?" Waylon shot me a kind smile which told me to take all the time I needed.

That was when Edward took over and explained everything that he knew. How he went upstairs to get me something warm to wear, heard me scream almost instantly, and by the time he came downstairs there was no-one here but the back door was open.

"Okay, and that was when you phoned us?" Waylon asked.

"Correct."

I didn't like this - it felt far too formal and my lack of energy didn't help the situation. It was nearing eight o'clock, and that was when I went to bed every night.

Waylon took two pieces of paper out from his notepad but he kept them facing him so I couldn't see what they held. "Right, Bella, I'm just going to run a few things past you." He rubbed his palms together. "First off, we have a whole team searching the areas trying to find this guy, and they won't leave until he is caught. The dog seems to remember his scent and did lead us on a trail which we have guys following, however because we don't have an official scent we cannot bring the detection dogs out to continue the lead."

That made sense, I suppose. I was glad that Nora could help them, but it made me feel better that she was back with me.

"Now, recently the team through in Oregon did bring a guy in for questioning who fits the description you gave them. I have his mugshot here, so I want you to tell me whether this is the guy that we're looking for, or not."

I didn't want to see a picture of him - I didn't want to see him ever again. Also, did Edward and Charlie know about this? Were they told that a potential James had been found? Why was I not told? Surely that would have been important for me to know?

The anger and agitation only made my body quiver more. Before I could stop it from happening, Waylon flipped over one of his pieces of paper and… there he was. Staring at me through the paper with is evil grin and dark, murderous eyes. I didn't have to give Waylon an answer - I think it all became clear to him when I hide my face in Luna's fluffy fur. Tears stung my eyes. I couldn't take any more.

"Are you okay?" Charlie whispered, taking a hold of my hand.

With my head bent, I shook it. I needed to get out of here, but I had no possible way of going anywhere.

Waylon broke in and spoke in his caring, calming voice. "I know this is really difficult for you, but I do need to ask one more question. Is there any way you can describe what he was wearing this evening?"

"Talking or writing is not an option right now." Charlie voiced what I had been thinking.

"Okay, in that case could I give you options and you could either nod or shake your head?" I accepted his offer. "Perfect. Was he wearing a jacket?"

_Nod. _

"Does anything in this room match the color?"

He had been wearing a dark green, khaki jacket. Thankfully it was the same that he was wearing in the mugshot. He only ever wore that jacket, so I assumed he didn't have any others.

I pointed towards the paper that was still in Waylon's hand. "This jacket? This is the one he was wearing?"

_Nod. _

"Excellent. Could you see what he wore underneath the jacket?"

It took a while, but I managed to get the full outfit across by nodding and pointing out certain colors - white t-shirt, brown pants and the black boots in his hands. Waylon thanked me for all the information, and also thanked Edward for how he was '_looking after Charlie's little girl'. _He promised to keep us updated, but to stay safe and keep all doors and windows locked for now.

As soon as he left through the front door, both Charlie and Edward let out an exasperated sigh. "I need a beer…" Charlie mumbled, leaving for the kitchen. The forensic scientists had finished swabbing the kitchen for evidence, so the room was once again free to use.

For the first time in a couple of hours I let Luna down to the floor. Not once in that entire time had she squirmed or even tried to get off my lap, and even when she was down beside Nora, she still sat there watching me.

"Can I get you anything?" Edward looked tired - I think he wanted the day to end too.

Was there anything that he could get me? Not really.

I wanted for all of this to end. To wake up and realize that none of this had ever happened.

But it had happened, and now there was nothing I could do apart from live my life after death. Now I continued to exist in the hereafter.

0-0

**November 13th, 2018  
****2:49AM  
****Bella.**

I hadn't slept.

No matter how tired I felt, my eyes refused to close. I knew that the nightmares would appear, and I refused to let that happen. I also didn't feel safe enough being alone, so instead of going up to my room, or lying on my bed with Luna, I curled up on the couch - Charlie sat in his usual seat and Edward sat on the other side of the couch with Luna in between us and Nora on the floor. I saw both Charlie and Edward fall asleep at some points, but they would jerk awake after five minutes when they realized what they had done. The police were still outside and were searching the surrounding area, but we were still to hear anything.

Charlie had heated through a bowl of mashed potatoes for me because he knew I would have been hungry, but I couldn't bring myself to eat it. There was once a moment when Victoria snuck some chicken and bread into the pocket of her pants - she had wrapped the food up in a parcel of saran wrap and threw it at me when James had left the building. She told me to hurry up and eat it, but unfortunately James returned sooner than she had expected. When he saw me eating I became his punching bag - jabs to the ribs, kicks to the stomach - you name it, I experienced it. He thought I had stolen the food. Victoria told him that she was the one that gave it to me, and because she had fed me, she received the same treatment.

I know what he is capable of, and I couldn't risk him seeing me being fed. I cared about Charlie and Edward too much, so I made a promise to myself and to them that I would not be stupid enough to eat anything. My carelessness could cost them their life, and I don't want that guilt hanging over me.

"Bells, you _need _to eat something."

_No I don't. This is for your own safety. _

Edward helped my father in his attempt to get me to eat. He held the bowl in both hands and brought it closer towards me so that it was at arms-length. "Sweetheart, you are dangerously underweight and the last thing you want is to be sent to hospital. Please, this is for your own good."

_I hate the hospital, but I'd go there if it meant that you were safe. _

I wish they understood why I was refusing. I would love nothing more than to take a spoonful of that creamy, buttery potato, but James told me himself that he is watching me - he can hear me if I talk, he can see me if I eat. Victoria helped me escape and we all saw how vicious her death was. If he can do that to someone he "loved", then what would he do to two complete strangers?

No, eating is not worth the pain right now.

0-0

**5:16AM**

Something had happened.

I'm not sure what it was, but Charlie had been having private conversations with Waylon, and Edward's phone had been ringing constantly. I wanted them to tell me what was going on, but no-one included me. I felt like an outcast. It had been going on for almost two hours and I was ready to explode.

Finally, Edward ended the call with whoever he had been talking to, and went to find Charlie and Waylon near the living room door. He tried to talk quietly, but I still managed to hear him. "He's near the outskirts now. Said he'll be here in ten minutes."

_He's near the outskirts. _Who is near the outskirts? Who will be here in ten minutes?

"Perfect. You have everything set up?" Charlie asked Waylon.

"Sure do. As soon as he gets here, we'll get started."

Started with what? Why wouldn't anybody tell me!

I was so pissed and annoyed with them all, so when they tried to talk to me I completely blanked them. Edward offered me a glass of water, I turned my head away from him. Charlie asked if I was warm enough, I refused to answer. If they won't include me, then I won't include them. Once those ten minutes were up I could hear the engine of yet another car pull up outside the house. Charlie snuck a peek around the curtain, he turned towards Edward and grinned. Something had pleased him, but again, I don't know what it was.

"Hey, Bells, someone is here to talk to you, if you're okay with that?"

I agreed, only because they might be able to tell me what was going on. The anxiety was flying around my body - I hadn't slept, I hadn't eaten and I just wanted some answers.

Charlie let the man into the house - he was dressed in a typical navy blue, cop uniform with a black beanie on his head. I had no idea who the guy was… until the light caught his face.

"Hey, little one!" Emmett beamed.

_Emmett! Emmett is here!_

Nora bounded over to Emmett, and Luna was quick to follow. "So this is the famous puppy, huh?"

"Thank you for making the trip, Emmett." Edward stood to greet his brother in a manly hug. "Especially at this time in the morning."

"It's all good, brother." Emmett fell back onto the couch beside me and allowed the dogs to jump all over him once again. "You're looking great, B, but I guess you're confused as to why I am here?"

I nodded and waited for Emmett to start talking again.

"To cut a long story short, James is running circles around the guys here - they find a lead, follow it, lose it. So late last night they phoned my station asking to borrow the clothes we have from you in order to get James' smell and get the dogs on him."

_Emmett had driven all the way here just to hand over a bag of James' old clothes? _

"Right now they are getting the dogs set up, getting them used to his scent and the hope is that they'll lead everyone in the right direction."

I had faith that this would work - Nora managed to do it, and she isn't even trained in tracking, so I didn't have any worries. The only thing that worried me was when Emmett said that James was running rings around everyone. Once again, he could be closer than we all realize.

0-0

**11:05AM**

Nora's barking broke me from my five minutes of sleep.

Her curious bark quickly turned into a growl, followed by a ferocious snarl.

I couldn't describe the feeling as the fear washed over me. It was… almost painful.

Emmett and Charlie jumped into action and followed Nora as she ran from the room.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Deep breaths, deep breaths." Edward stroked my arms in attempt to calm me down, but I couldn't focus on anything apart from the continuous barks that flowed through from the kitchen.

James was back. He was here, he was watching me, and he wasn't giving up.

"Hey, look at me." Edward palmed my cheek to turn my face in his direction. "Emmett is armed - if James even dares to step foot inside this house, he won't be standing for long."

I appreciated what he was saying, but it's not as easy as that to believe it.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, okay? You are so well protected right now. One man cannot outrun a team of highly-trained cops."

The barking continued.

My fingers had started to bleed from the amount that I chewed on them.

I couldn't block out the noise, the pain, or the constant fear.

Edward brought me into his chest and held me close in an attempt to soothe my temors. I think he kissed my head, but everything had swarmed into one.

"Cover your ears, love."

Why? Why should I cover my ears?

Of course, when someone tells you to do one thing, you do the complete opposite. So instead of covering my ears, I pulled away from Edward's chest in order to hear better.

_Barking, shouting, cursing. _

What was going on?

"Bella, please, cover your ears."

_"Get on the fucking ground! Right now!" _

That was Emmett.

"Sweetheart, _please, _you don't want to hear this."

That was Edward.

Despite what he was saying, I did need to hear this. I needed the closure and the definitive proof that James had been caught.

More barking.

More shouting.

More cursing.

And then… nothing.

No barking, no shouting, no cursing.

Nothing. Silence.

For the first time in six months, I finally had some silence.

0-0

**I'm not going to lie, I found that really difficult to write. **

**But yay Nora! I think that dog deserves yet another shining star, am I right? **

**Let me know what you thought, and thank you for reading! **


	20. Chapter 19

Hereafter  
Chapter 19

**November 13th, 2018  
****11:05AM  
****Edward**

"Sweetheart, _please, _you don't want to hear this."

Bella had torn herself away from my arms; her head twisted from side to side as she tried to get a better understanding of what was going on. The noise coming from outside was almost deafening, and I knew what that would have done to her anxiety. It was clear to see anyway, from the way her eyes widened, her breathing changed, and her body practically vibrated. The best thing for her to do was to close her ears and shut off the noise, but she refused to listen to me. Despite being very new to training, Luna knew to jump onto Bella's lap when things got serious, but even that didn't help anything.

Suddenly everything changed. Bella's gnawed fingers fell from her mouth and her head flopped down onto her shoulder.

"_Shit." _I whispered harshly, jumping up from the couch. I had Luna hop down onto the floor in order for me to lie Bella out flat across the couch. Using a pile of cushions I built a tower to elevate her legs. The sheer panic that flooded Bella's body had caused her to faint - I should have known that was going to happen, perhaps I could have prevented it.

Doing my best to ignore what was going on outside, I sat on the floor beside the couch and stroked her hair away from her face. She looked so peaceful for the first time in a long time. From my experience with fainting I knew to sit beside her, make sure nothing could hurt her, and simply wait until she was ready to 'wake up'.

Shit was going down. Nora was barking, the detection dogs were barking, people were shouting, but all I could focus on was the poor girl beside me. I wish I knew what to do to help her, but that was practically impossible when I can't leave the room. I just had to make sure that I was there for her, and protected her as best I could.

A minute or two after Bella's eyes closed, they fluttered open again. I let out a sigh of relief that it hadn't gone on for too long and hadn't reached dangerous territories. A look of fear flashed across her face and as her eyes found mine they began to brim with tears. "You're okay, love. You're okay."

Bella scratched away at her cheeks as the tears continued to pour down them. She was scared, confused and frustrated - she wanted the answers that I couldn't provide. I didn't know what was going on outside, and the last thing that I wanted to do was to lie to her and give her false information.

"Hey, don't hurt yourself, please." I gently brought Bella's hands away from her face and held them on her chest. It killed me that she was going through so much torment. I wish I could have taken it all away from her.

I finally had her breathing under control, and she had stopped scratching herself… until it all went wrong.

A gun shot was heard.

One single gun shot echoed around the house.

I tried to hide my fear but I knew that it was evident on my face. I had no idea of knowing who had fired that gun, whether it was a cop, or whether James was armed himself. Regardless of all of that, Bella was my main priority. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth opened as if she wanted to scream, but couldn't. I helped her sit up, but I kept my arms around her in a cage - she needed the pressure to help control the jitters.

"Everything is okay." I whispered with my head beside hers. "Focus on your breathing. Focus on me and Luna."

Bella tried to claw away at her throat, no doubt to ease the pressure that she felt. When I stopped that, she pulled at her hair instead. It's common for people with anxiety to have the constant need to scratch or itch your skin, but I felt like this was more to do with her frustration. She couldn't even scream, so she let her anger out in a different form.

I hadn't even noticed until that moment, but the shouting and barking had stopped once that shot was fired.

"Can you hear that?" I whispered, brushing her hair back. "Everything has gone quiet."

"Bella." Charlie's presence spooked us both, fortunately as soon as Bella saw that it was her dad walking into the room, she calmed down slightly. "It's all over, Bells. They've got him." Charlie took my place on the couch, and as he cradled his daughter in his arms, I let out the biggest sigh which I hadn't even noticed I was holding. "He's handcuffed and being taken to the car as I speak."

I knew that Bella wouldn't want to see him, and watching him being taken to the car wouldn't help in any form, but I wanted to see it for myself - I needed to see that sick bastard get the ending he deserved. So I peeked around the curtain and watched with a smile as James was walked to one of the awaiting cars - his hands cuffed behind his back. He walked with an obvious limp, which helped me realize what that gun shot had been used for. As they reached the car a cop made sure James didn't hit his head, but then all but pushed him into the back seat. For sixteen hours these men have been tracking him down, using any technique possible - they didn't have the patience or the care to sit him in the car properly.

I had a strong need to flip him my middle finger as the engine started and car drove away. He was gone. He was finally off to a place worse than hell.

I turned my head in direction of the kitchen when Nora was heard entering the house. She was accompanied by Emmett, and even though they were tired, both had an excited gleam in their eyes. Even Nora - I swear, she must have known what had just happened. I dropped to my knees as the large dog bounded over to me. "Good girl!" I praised, rubbing her ears and patting her side. "Good girl!"

It was Nora who notified us of James' presence, it was Nora who warned me of Victoria when she turned up on my front yard, and it was Nora who rescued Bella in the first place. Who knows what would have happened had she not have been in my house that night, or if I had left her with Mom and Dad when I retuned this time.

All of my emotions mixed into one and it became too much for me to hold in anymore. As I praised this brilliant dog, and as I thought about everything that had happened, I sobbed. Bella was safe, James was gone… we were on the road to recovery.

"Edward." I looked up at Charlie to see him tapping Bella on the shoulder. She was confused as to why I was crying.

"I'm okay." I stood from my crouched position before making it over to the still-quivering girl. "My emotions got the better of me, but I'm okay." I used the coffee table as a seat, and held out my hands for her to take. "I am so proud of you for how you handled that. I know that it was incredibly difficult, but you did it - you're safe now, and he can't hurt you anymore."

For the next half an hour we all just sat, and allowed the recent events to wash away from us. Bella lay on the couch with her head on Charlie's lap, and Luna curled up behind her knees; I wasn't sure if she was going to sleep or not, but the rest was needed regardless.

"I cannot wait to see that man rot in a prison cell." Charlie laughed wickedly.

"Man, I wish I could have put a fucking bullet through his skull." Emmett sighed and rubbed away at his tired face.

"Yeah, but is that not the easy way out?" I asked. "He deserves a punishment, and what is worse than spending every day for the rest of your life, living in a 6-by-8 foot cell with nothing but a bed and a toilet pan?"

Emmett thought about it for second… and then brushed me off with a wave of his hand. "Meh, I still want to put a bullet through his skull."

Charlie chuckled. "Maybe we'll be lucky and he could get put on death row - it'll be the best of both worlds, really."

Luckily for us, Bella had allowed her body to relax and finally fell asleep, which made our conversation easier to have.

"So what happened out there?" I asked. "All I could hear was barking and shouting?"

"Well!" Emmett rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Nora notified us of his return, and it turned out that that stupid fuck thought it would be a good idea to stand in the trees in the back yard. Nora's barking started off a snowball effect with the other dogs, and soon the cops had all returned. He knew that he was done for, and there was no place to run, so he left the trees, but still just stood there - taunting us with his stupid fucking face, and that God-awful grin. I told him to get onto the ground, but he didn't listen, we all told him to drop any weapons… but again he didn't listen. The fire you heard was when James decided to bring out a cigarette, light it, and then I shot him in the foot." Emmett seemed so pleased with his accomplishments. "My shot to the foot obviously brought him to the ground, which gave the guys an opportunity to tackle him and throw on a set of cuffs."

I shook my head in disbelief at the whole ordeal.

"He smoked a cigarette whilst being surrounded by police?"

Emmett shrugged. "I dunno - maybe he wanted one more for the road?"

That was when Charlie jumped in. "For somebody who appears to be very smart, he clearly didn't make the right call. Part of me thinks that he knew he was going to get caught, so decided to try one more time before it happened, but didn't take into consideration the fact that we had Nora in the house."

"I wonder why Nora didn't pick up on him last night when he managed to get in here?"

"I was thinking that myself." Charlie answered. "My theory is that he was far enough away for her not to smell him, but that he could still see the house. I took Nora on the walk, and then he took his chance. After all, I had been walking with her for a decent amount of time before you phoned me."

I rubbed my forehead as a headache began to pound. "So what will happen now?"

Charlie answered that question as well. "He'll get transported to Oregon, where the majority of the crimes took place, and then he'll live in a jail cell until he's needed in court. I'm not sure how long that will take, but in that time I'll need to get a lawyer sorted, and focus on Bella's recovery so that she is fit to take part."

"She'll need to be there, right?" I knew the answer already, but part of me needed to ask it regardless.

"I mean… she might not need to, but being the only living victim it'll be good for the jury to see exactly what he has done to her. He might get a longer or more severe sentence that way."

I knew that we had a lot on our hands, and that the road ahead was going to be tough, however I had hope that things would work out. Bella had made great improvement up until now, so I knew she could do it again.

0-0

**November 20th, 2018**

The last week has been difficult for everybody involved.

It took Bella four days to start talking again, even with Angela's help. Angela was asked to come over the day after James was caught, and she tried everything to get Bella to communicate with us, but she told us not to worry and that Bella will talk when she feels ready to. I don't think Bella meant to talk when she did - I was sitting beside her on the bed, soothing her off to sleep. I thought she had fallen asleep and so stood to leave the room, when she whispered out my name. It was clear that she hadn't meant to do it, but once Bella realized that nothing bad was going to happen, she would slowly introduce a few more words into her vocabulary.

Our main issue came when the news reporters caught onto what had happened. Bella had been the talk of the town when it all started, and now that she was home again everyone wanted to catch a glimpse of her and find out what had happened. Thankfully they kept their distance, so stood at the bottom of the yard, but every time one of us left the house we would get surrounded, with microphones and cameras shoved in our faces. Luckily Bella wasn't fit enough to leave the house anyway, but I know that it played on her mind a lot when she heard the mayhem going on outside.

The neighbors have been lovely and totally understanding. We also didn't have to worry about food seeing as they were constantly bringing separate dishes over for us. _"I've made you a casserole, Charlie; to save you from going to the store. If you need anything, let us know." _We've also received various cakes and pies. I hadn't realized until then that Bella was a big fan of cherry pie - she would eat slice after slice with no sign of stopping.

She still couldn't be left alone, and we had to make sure Luna and Nora were walked before Bella woke up and after she went to sleep, but that was only to be expected. Our biggest challenge is still to come - tomorrow we were driving to Oregon to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Charlie and I were discussing whether it was a good idea or not, but we both decided that it would be good for Bella to leave the house for a bit and distract her mind as much as possible. I double-checked with Mom, to make sure that they were still okay with the idea, and she said that they already have the spare bedroom made up and that Charlie and Bella could stay for as long as they needed to.

As long as we got there in one piece, I'm sure everything will be fine.

0-0

**November 21st, 2018**

People were still hanging around outside, there was no way to get Bella to the car without them seeing or taking pictures, but we tried our best. Charlie considered talking to the press and asking them to be respectful of Bella as she was carried outside, but I knew that wouldn't work - these people don't care about others, just as long as they get a shot and can make some money.

Late last night I had driven my car, which contained all of my belongings, to another street not far from the house. The plan was for the five of us - dogs included - to get into Charlie's cruiser, keep Bella covered and relaxed, and then Charlie will drive me to my car where Nora and I will get out and continue the journey from there.

"I'll take the dogs to the car, if you want to make sure you have everything?" I checked with Charlie whilst attaching Luna's leash to her collar.

"Absolutely."

With Luna by my side, I left the kitchen and went to find Bella in her favorite spot in the living room. Charlie had already turned the heating off, and with the snow settling outside, Bella had to rely on three blankets in order to keep her warm. She had one draped over her head and wrapped around her shoulder.

"Hey sweetheart," I tugged at one end of the blanket so to get a better look at her face, and that was when I noticed that Plushie Nora was hiding under the vast weight of fleece. "I'm going to take Luna and Nora to the car now, okay? And then it will be time for us to go."

Originally Bella had been staring off into space, but slowly her eyes scanned the room to meet mine, and then looked down at the ever-growing puppy who stood at my feet. "…_Edward." _She whispered ever so quietly.

"Yes?"

"People… Edward."

We had to be honest with her; there was absolutely no use in sugar-coating something. "There are people outside, yes, but they don't want to hurt you, they just want to take some pictures. We'll take you straight to the car, there will be cameras flashing, but they won't be able to touch you, and once we've left the street you won't need to worry about them anymore."

Bella thought over my words as she continued to nibble away at her fingers. I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before leading Luna towards the car. I wasn't quite sure how this drive was going to go, but I hoped that with Luna on her lap, Bella will feel safe and comfortable. Luna's trainer had given us the option of whether we wanted to take her training harness with us or not - even though she won't be working, it might make her realize her role easier, especially when she is in a house full of people and Bella's anxiety will no doubt skyrocket. With that in mind we had packed her harness and made the decision to go through the commands with her ourselves.

Luna was now sixteen weeks old, and in the seven weeks Bella has had her, she has grown immensely, but still loves nothing more than to either lie beside Bella, or sit on her lap for cuddles. I can't imagine she'd be able to sit on her lap for the entire length of the journey, but as long as she is there for the beginning and there for the end, then I think everything should be okay.

Once the dogs were settled in the car, and all the bags had been taken, I was given the job of carrying Bella from the house. Her body vibrated with fear and her eyes were wide with tears. This was the first time she would be leaving the house in weeks, which was scary enough for her; the people outside only made things worse.

"You've got this, love." I soothed as Charlie adjusted the blanket so that it covered her face. We went along with the idea of _'if she can't see them, they can't see her', _and hoped the the blanket would add a wall between them. The car had been reversed as far back as it could go, the engine was running and Charlie was a step behind me. Once the house was locked up and we were all in the car, we were good to go.

Surprisingly nobody shouted out or called Bella's name as we went outside. Either they had a heart and didn't want to stress the poor thing, or they were too busy taking pictures and knew that we wouldn't be answering their questions anyway.

"See, you did it!" I praised, strapping Bella into the seat. Her shaking and crying continued, but she had managed it all without an attack starting.

"_Stay… Edward." _Her whispered were barely audible.

"I'm going to stay with you for now, but when we get to my car I'll need to get out to drive that one. Do you remember when we last did this drive? How I was behind you all the way?" Bella nodded her head, but it was hard to see with the blanket that covered it. "Well I'll be doing the exact same this time - I'll be behind you all the way, and you can look through the mirrors if you're ever uncertain."

At first everything was going well. I managed to transfer cars with Nora and we made a plan for where to stop first - I had done this drive countless times by this point, so Charlie only had to say a name and I knew where he meant. We hit the highway and my phone stayed silent… until an hour into the journey. The ringing of my phone broke through the speakers and Charlie's name appeared on the screen of my car.

_"We're gonna have to pull over." _

I didn't ask for an explanation, and Charlie didn't say any more. I accepted the change and pulled up behind Charlie on the side of the road. I didn't know what to expect, but I put all my worries behind me as I made my way over to the passenger side. Bella was rocking backwards and forwards. Loud sobs filled the small car.

"It's been going on for fifteen minutes - everything was fine and then she just started crying. I had to pull over because I couldn't concentrate on the road." Charlie's words came out with a force, almost like he had a lump in his throat that he couldn't clear. He didn't know how to help his daughter, and I didn't know either.

"Bella, please, be careful." I held onto her shoulders to try and halt the frantic movements. "Tell us what is wrong - tell us how you feel."

With my hands on her shoulders, Bella couldn't rock any more, but she began to shake her head violently instead. "Tight!" She exclaimed. "Tight!"

Together, Charlie and I unstrapped Bella from the seat belt and took off her layers of blanket. It was clear that an attack had started and that the 'tightness' she felt was coming from the tightness in her chest. Charlie began to breathe in and out deeply, and made sure that Bella copied his every move. "Atta, girl." He grinned. "You've got this."

"Tell me, Bella, what are five things that you can see."

Her head moved frantically around the car as she took in five separate objects. "Road… Charlie… Edward… Luna…" The labored breathing continued when she couldn't think of the fifth object.

"It can be anything, sweetheart. Tell me the first thing you see."

"…Window."

"Now tell me four things that you can touch."

"Fleece… Luna… plastic… glass."

"That's it, Bells, take it nice and slowly - there's no rush here."

"What are three things that you can hear?"

"Voices… cars… wind."

Slowly but surely her panic attack subsided as I continued the Five Steps routine. I rummaged around in her bag to find the stash of dark chocolate I had packed there, and broke off a chunk to give to her.

"I'll get Luna for you." Charlie stepped from the car to collect Luna who had been lounging out in the back seats. She must have been moved there when I got into my own car. "The first stop is thirty minutes away, Bella - keep a hold of Luna and everything will be okay."

We stopped every thirty minutes after that. Sometimes Bella just needed to stand, other times it was worse. After the final panic attack which caused Bella to faint, twenty minutes from my parent's house, I made a mental note to ask my father about medication for Bella. Because of the circumstances she was yet to be prescribed anything, but now things were getting out of hand. Her health and safety was my number one priority, and I would stop at nothing to make her feel better again.

Of course Carlisle couldn't give her a prescription for anything, but he could lead me in the right direction. Her medication will be different from mine, so if I knew where to start, that would be something at least.

I was thankful that my parents were the only people at the house when we arrived, and they stood at the door to greet us, but didn't come any further. The second that Nora was let from the car she bounded over to her owners and took in all the pats and hugs that they offered.

"Do you want to walk, Bella?" Charlie asked his daughter as he aided her from her seat. She held onto Luna's leash but the dog didn't move until Bella was ready to.

Bella's face was ghostly pale and her eyes were sunken and dark, however she chose to walk. Charlie slipped one arm around her back in order to hold onto both arms and act as Bella's personal cane. They took steady steps, her sneakers brushed along the cobbled stones that lead to the house.

I spotted the proud smiles both mom and dad sported. "It is an honor to meet you, Bella. My name is Esme, and if you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask."

Dad spoke next and held out his hand as an invitation for Bella to shake it if she would like to. "Edward has told us so many amazing things about you; it is a pleasure to finally put a face to the name."

Bella stared down at her feet. "Th-thank… you." I could tell just how much those two small words meant to my parents.

"We are the ones who should be thanking you, my dear. For many different things, but mainly for trusting us."

Esme stepped aside to welcome them into our home, where as Carlisle asked if I wanted his assistance in emptying the cars. I didn't need his help, however I did accept it because I knew he wanted to use it as a way to talk to me privately.

"Difficult journey?" He asked as we emptied the trunk of my car first. "It was clear on her face that she is recovering from something."

I let out a deep sigh. "Four panic attacks, one of them lead to her fainting."

"Does that happen often?"

"Not every time, but when she gets a major shock it's more than likely to happen. I think this time it was because we were nearing Middleton, and so the memories took over."

"Hmm…" Carlisle tapped his chin in thought. "Fainting is a fairly normal side effect, however I will ask you to keep an eye on it."

"I actually wanted to ask you about medication for her."

"I'll watch her movements and get back to you on that one." He patted my shoulder proudly. "Don't worry, son - she is in great hands here."

The rest of the evening went without any major troubles, and you might call it wishful-thinking, but it seemed as though Bella relaxed more and more as the night went on.

Tomorrow, however, will be the real test.

0-0

**I know some of you thought it was too soon for James to get caught, but we are twenty chapters in, and as you can tell from this one alone, there is still a lot of work to be done. **

**Next chapter will be Thanksgiving when we finally reunite Bella and Rose, and we meet Alice and Jasper properly! I will be making a collage to go up on my Facebook group - RosieRathbone FanFiction. Make sure to come and join us if you haven't already! **

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought? **


	21. Chapter 20

**Just to clarify the ages: Bella is 25 and Edward is 29. **

**This chapter shows a very typical day of somebody with anxiety - their mood swings and thinking patterns can change in an instant. It doesn't come with a trigger warning, however it can be difficult to read. Please note that anything that anybody says is not meant to seem rude or inconsiderate - Bella's mind will twist their words and she has no control over that.**

**It's also longer than normal; you might want to grab a snack. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 20

**November 22nd, 2018  
****Bella.**

I didn't get much sleep last night.

The nightmares replayed over and over, and the negative thoughts slowly consumed my head like the mould on an apple. They never leave me alone, they never give me the time to think and act normally.

This is my life now.

A life that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Can I even call this a life?

Before I was taken, I was given a daily reminder that people my age were getting married, having children, and progressing with their job. Is that even possible for me anymore? Who is going to love someone like me? Someone who relies on their dog to do everything for them. Children are completely out of the question - how can I care for a child when I can't even care for myself?

These sort of thoughts make my head want to explode.

Does it make me a bad person that I envy the lives of my peers? That I want them to experience the pain that I'm going through, at least just once?

I stare at the ceiling above me, begging for my mind to shut off and for me to sleep calmly. I am exhausted - completely and utterly exhausted, but that doesn't mean anything. In order for me to sleep, I need to shut out those negative thoughts. I've searched high and low, but I'm still to find the off button.

As soon as I do fall asleep, the nightmares appear.

James' face appears.

Then I wake up, and repeat the cycle again.

0-0

**06:04**

I didn't go back to sleep properly after that, and I was still awake at six o'clock when Edward knocked quietly on the door. He was surprised to see me awake, and his sad smile told me that he understood - sleep can be difficult to come by. He crouched beside my side of the bed and spoke ever so quietly so to not wake Charlie up. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. It's best to act like nothing was wrong.

"I'm going to take the dogs for a walk. My mom is getting breakfast ready in the kitchen if you would like to go downstairs?"

Do I want to get up?

I'm hungry, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to face his mom by myself.

_"Scared… Edward." _My voice was barely a whisper.

"You don't need to be scared, and if you'd rather stay up here then that is absolutely fine."

What is the right thing to do?

What would the old Bella do?

The old Bella would offer her help in the kitchen, but I can't do that.

The old Bella would wash up the dishes, or prepare some of the food. I can't do that either.

The old Bella would put her worries behind her and face the situation. I definitely cannot do that.

But I don't want to sit up here either. Charlie is fast asleep, and will be for a couple of hours, and if something happened he wouldn't be alert enough to help me. Luna has to go for her walk, so I will be all by myself. Maybe Edward's mom could look after me? Maybe I can show Edward how brave I am by sitting in the kitchen until he comes home?

It is a constant back-and-forth in my head. _Maybe I can do this… maybe I can do that… _I can't seem to decide on a solid answer; it is a continuous game of second-guessing.

After much deliberation I finally decided on going downstairs.

_Will his mom feel offended if I have to leave? Who is going to help me if that happens? How long will Edward be out for? I can stay with his mom until he gets home… right?_

I was so busy questioning everything in my life that I never noticed Edward had brought over my sweater and held a new pair of fluffy socks. With gentle hands he helped me sit up and dangle my legs over the side of the bed - Luna was up and alert, waiting for us patiently. Edward slipped my feet into the socks as I put on my sweater.

"Are you okay to walk?"

I nodded. His house was big, and the journey was much further than I what I was used to, however I knew that with his arms around me, I could probably make my way there. The only issue came when we got to the stairs. The stairs were two separate levels, which only increased the difficulty, but thankfully they had a small landing in between which gave me the opportunity to rest for a second before we descended the second set.

Just like Edward said, his mother was in the kitchen preparing food for breakfast and side dishes for the main Thanksgiving meal later on. Esme had a floral apron tied around her waist and her hair had been tied up haphazardly with a large grip.

The scuffling of our feet broke her distraction, and she turned to greet us with a large smile on her face. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Esme cheered. She clearly loved this holiday, and the family time that it brought.

From the way that the kitchen was laid out, the best place for me to sit was the breakfast bar; Edward pulled out one of the stools and assisted me as I lifted myself up onto it. "I won't be out for long, but is there anything that I can get for you before I leave?"

I shook my head - the sooner he left, the sooner he came back - but Esme also responded to her son's question by playfully hitting his arm with the cloth that hung over her shoulder. "I am more than capable of getting Bella whatever she needs."

It was clear that Edward didn't want to leave me, and was unsure of whether to take the dogs out or not. He cradled my face, took some deep breaths, and then kissed my forehead sweetly. "I'll be back before you know it, okay? You are perfectly safe here."

He always told me how safe I was, and that nothing was going to happen to me.

I wanted to believe him - I really, really did, but it was difficult. It was going to take a long time for me to feel perfectly safe again.

Once he had left, I watched Esme's every move as she whipped up some pancake batter and began to slice up various fruits which were tossed up to make a salad.

"It is tradition in our house to have a large Thanksgiving breakfast. Edward told me that you like oatmeal and strawberries?"

I nodded, without taking my eyes away from the colorful fruit salad.

"Would you like some strawberries whilst we wait? There are plenty to go around?"

I tore my eyes away from the bowl in order to look at Esme. Her smile was caring, and I could tell that she only wanted to help, but before I accepted any food from her, I had to make sure that it was clean and poison free - only Edward and Charlie have made me food, and when James would give me a 'meal' it was always laced in some sort of drug which made me pass out. I was certain that Esme wouldn't do that to me, but I had to get my mind to believe it also.

_They need to be _"…clean."

With my one-word answer it was hard for Esme to understand what I was trying to say, and so of course her mind didn't automatically jump to them being clean from any drugs. "Oh of course - you never know what these farmers coat their fruit in." I watched carefully as she took three strawberries out from the packet and ran them under some cold water.

"Would you like me to slice them up for you, so that they are a bit easier for you to eat?"

I nodded again, and found interest in how easily Esme used the sharp knife. She didn't even need to put the fruit down onto a board, just simply held them in one hand and brought the knife down to the base of her thumb repeatedly until the strawberries were cut into four long slices.

"Thank… you."

"There is no reason to thank me, Bella, but is there anything else I can get for you? Some hot tea, or a coffee perhaps?"

I shook my head; I didn't want to be a bother, because I could see how busy she was.

I ate my strawberries in silence and watched as Esme peeled a large bucket of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and carrots. Once all the vegetables had been peeled, she began to cut them up into chunks and placed them in their own separate pots. "The men in this family are big eaters - it's always best to have leftovers."

I couldn't help but smile. Emmett seemed like the sort of person who would leave the table to get seconds.

"I remember I used to make sweet potato casserole with my Grandmother every year; no-one else was allowed to touch it and I haven't changed the recipe once. Do you have a favorite holiday tradition or memory?"

I had to think about my answer, Thanksgiving was never as big with my family as it appears to be here.

_I always made _"cookies…" _and pumpkin pie _"with…my… Mom."

Thinking back to my childhood always made me sad - I never would have imagined that I would end up like this. That carefree girl in my memories doesn't exist anymore, and won't appear again.

"Well you are in luck! Alice and Rose are taking over dessert this afternoon, and so knowing my daughter you will have hundreds of variations to choose from."

I liked how she spoke about her children; she always had the warmest smile which told me just how much she loves them.

"I believe that you haven't met Alice before, is that right?" I nodded. "You have nothing to worry about. Alice is a ball of energy, but just like her brothers, she has the biggest heart. After today she will say that the two of you are now best friends and she will get annoyed at Edward if he spends more time with you than she does."

Why does everybody have to say that I have nothing to worry about? It makes me wonder if they would tell me whether I _do _have something to worry about. Telling me not to worry is like telling a snake not to hiss, or a lion not to roar - this is my defence mechanism; my fight or flight.

Under the breakfast bar my hands began to tremor. I wanted Edward home now, I wanted Charlie downstairs and I wanted Luna at my feet. Esme is lovely, and I am very thankful for her to accept me into her home, but I need my new normal back.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Esme's voice was caring, and the heavy guilt that passed through my veins caused my eyes to well up. She was being so wonderful, and I could barely even thank her for it.

_I need _"…Edward."

_I need Charlie._

_I need Luna._

_I need this to end._

"Edward should be home very soon. I can give him a call if you'd prefer?"

"Bells?"

A hallelujah chorus ran through my head as Charlie entered the room. He was here! He must have somehow heard my mental screams and responded to the call. The tremors stopped almost instantly when my father brought me in for a hug. "You scared the crap outta me, kiddo. I woke up having no idea where you were."

I'm sorry…

"Edward helped her downstairs before he took the dogs out. Bella and I were having a lovely conversation about Thanksgiving."

I wouldn't call it a conversation. More like a one-sided discussion.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on her." Charlie continued to stand beside me, still with one arm around my back.

"It's my pleasure. Now, can I get you anything to drink, Charlie? Or something to tide you over before breakfast?"

"A coffee would be great, thank you."

Charlie was here, and five minutes later Edward returned back to the house.

I'm okay now. I'm safe again.

0-0

**08:32**

At seven o'clock I was helped into the bath, where I washed my hair by myself using the jug that Esme provided for me. As always, Charlie sat outside the entire time, and then helped me back to the spare room once I was done. Entering the room I found some new clothes on the bed, I had never seen these clothes before, but when the tags were spotted I realized that they must have been purchased recently for this day. The dress was navy blue, high neck and sat just above my knees, and it was matched with a pair of black tights and a black button-up sweater to keep me warm.

Every item had been purchased in the smallest size available, yet they were still too big. Thankfully the tights weren't too big on me, and the dress had a tie around the waist to pull it in. I wanted to look smart, and I'm very thankful that I don't have to wear my sweatpants for once, but it still made me feel self-conscious. I couldn't wait until I had a chest again to help fill out a dress. Or hips… or any sort of body fat, I suppose.

"Bella, you look so pretty!" Edward complimented me as I returned to the kitchen.

It annoyed me that he called me 'pretty' - you would call a little girl pretty, or your niece pretty.

It annoyed me that he didn't think that I looked beautiful, but why should that matter? I'm far from beautiful right now, so why would he think that?

My self-esteem only got worse when people started arriving. Rosalie, eight months pregnant, had managed to style her hair and had applied a full face of make-up. She had chosen an outfit that flowed over her large bump and had somehow managed to slim it down. She wouldn't be described as 'pretty', but here I was, a bag of bones, with clothes that don't fit me and the body of a child.

"Bella!" She cried with excitement and waddled her way over to me. I had to hide my hurt and discomfort because I genuinely was happy to see her again. I had missed Rose so much. "Oh, my sweet girl, how are you? You look so good!" She wrapped me in her arms.

"Hi… Rose." I took several deep breaths. I wanted to speak a full sentence. "I've… missed you… and… the baby."

_Ow. My throat stings. I need to hold back for now. _

Her blue eyes glazed over with tears. "Please don't make me cry." She laughed. "I've missed you so much, but I'm so pleased to see how far you have come. The baby is doing well - she's healthy, which is good, and tries to make my days as difficult as possible." I smiled. I liked it when she spoke about her daughter.

Rose chose to sit beside me. "I've been really excited to meet your puppy. Am I allowed to pet her?" Luna was wearing her harness, which meant that it was time for her to work, so I appreciated Rose asking for my permission. I nodded, which told her it was okay to pet her. "Hello, Luna." She cooed and scratched Luna's floppy ear. "You are so gorgeous. How is her training coming along?"

"Good."

"Edward has been telling me that she knows a lot more commands now?"

"Luna… watch me." The dog moved her head away from Rose's hand and sat back on her butt to give me her full attention. I waved my arm slowly in front of me and she followed the movement with her eyes.

"That's amazing! I'm so pleased that you have her."

Our conversation was cut short when Emmett came into the room. "Alice and Jasper will be arriving shortly if you'd like to come and meet them?"

I knew I had to meet them, but I didn't know if I wanted to right at that second.

Maybe it would be safer if I meet them whilst surrounded by other people?

Emmett helped his wife up from the seat and then held his hand out for me. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking whether or not I want to stand.

I'm the guest, so I don't want to appear rude. I also have to spend the entire day with them, so I can't hide forever.

With his help, I stood from the seat. My legs felt like jelly and my heart was pounding.

"Luna… side." She shuffled back to stand neatly on my right-hand side. Because I am right handed, I hold the leash in my right hand and she is trained to always walk on that side. "Good girl… let's go." That was her command to start walking at my pace.

With Emmett on my left, and his arms as an added frame, we made our way from the living room into the foyer where Charlie, Edward and Carlisle where all in discussion about something. They stopped talking when they saw us enter.

_They were probably talking about me. _

_People always talk about me._

_I mean, they might not have been… but they were probably talking about me. _

"How are you doing, Bells?"

I feel judged, self-conscious and Edward said that I was 'pretty'. "I'm fine."

It was easier that way.

"They're here!" Esme called from the kitchen. "Everyone is here now!"

Edward took over from Emmett. "Are you sure you're alright?" He whispered. Edward had only known me for three months, yet he knew me as well as Charlie did. He had picked up on my lie.

"I'm… scared."

"I know you are, and if you need some time alone then you just need to tell me, okay? No-one is going to think badly of you."

I nodded. Maybe I'll take him up on his offer after breakfast.

Before he could say anything else, Alice and Jasper walked into the house. I had seen a couple of pictures of them before - they were both gorgeous, and Alice had also gone all out with her appearance, just like Rose had. Alice's arms were loaded with covered plates and baskets.

"Luna, down." Edward commanded sweetly. "Good girl." He added when Luna put her entire body down onto the floor, and curled her paws and tail in.

"You've got that dog trained well, Bella." My eyes shot up to view the blonde man in front of me. "It is a pleasure to meet you." Jasper had a southern twist to his voice which I hadn't expected.

"Hi…" I smiled timidly.

"Jazz, you're scaring her!" My body stiffened at the new voice that broke into my surroundings. "Hi, Bella, I'm Alice; I've been so excited to meet you!" Alice skipped to stand beside her husband.

_They're only being nice, they're not trying to scare me… _

"I love your dress," Alice smiled whilst eyeing my outfit. "It looks so good on you!"

I rubbed my sweaty hands together. "Thank… you." I smiled before looking down at my feet.

"I hope you're hungry - Alice has made five separate pies and, like, five batches of cookies. Rosalie has also made desserts."

"I made four pies, _actually." _

"Bella's favorite is cherry, right sweetheart?" I looked up at Edward, his smile told me that everything was okay.

I glanced over to Alice and Jasper before nodding slightly.

"Oh good! I made cherry, pumpkin, apple and pecan!"

I was very appreciative that Esme chose that moment to call everyone in for breakfast. Rosalie asked me to sit beside her, which I did, but then had Edward on my other side and Charlie across from me. Luna curled under my seat, and I knew from watching her that Nora had also taken place under the table.

The breakfast consisted of everything; pancakes, fruit, granola, eggs, bacon… if it's breakfast related, it was on the table. The family started up a conversation, and included me as much as possible, but I preferred to stay silent.

I wanted to leave the room.

I wanted to hide in my blanket fort.

I wanted my mind to stop screaming for just one second.

I wanted silence. Is that too much to ask?

0-0

**10:57**

After breakfast I settled back into the living room with Rose, Alice, Luna and Nora, with the Macy's Parade on in the background. Apparently it I also tradition with this family that the men clean up after breakfast and the women clean up after dinner. Both Charlie and Edward offered their help, of course, and to keep my mind at bay, I trained all my hearing into what was going on in the kitchen. Emmett's loud, boisterous voice could be heard much clearer than the others, but whenever he said anything all the other men laughed along with it. It was nice to hear Charlie laughing properly for once. I had almost forgotten what that sounded like.

"Oh, my God." Alice groaned, stretching out her body in the chair that she had chosen. "I don't know if this is the best or worst time to get your period." She rubbed her stomach to help soothe the pains that I had assumed she was fighting with. "Like, I want to eat _everything _but then I hate myself for eating too much!"

"That is the one thing I will not be looking forward to when my body is my own again." The sisters laughed together.

"Periods are the one thing that you don't miss when you don't have it. I would give my left tit if it meant I was done with them - and my left tit is the biggest one!"

It was a very generic conversation; I knew that Alice meant no offence in the slightest, and she probably hadn't even noticed her mistake, but I did. She said you don't miss your periods when you don't have them, when in actual fact I miss mine every single day. I am constantly longing to feel that twinge in my abdomen, or spotting when I go to the bathroom. I want a sign that shows that my body is normal again. I'm not sure how much weight I'll need to put on in order for them to start, but I know that it will be a very long time before my body is back to functioning properly. Mix the weight-loss with the constant stress, and I'm in for a long journey.

That is another reason why I don't see myself ever being able to have children - it'll probably be physically impossible. Another thing that James has taken from me without even knowing it.

_Why do people have the need to constantly rub things in my face? _

_I'm not as beautiful as you and I'm not lucky enough to have my period right now. _

_I get it, you're hurting, but so am I. _

_Not everything is visible. _

"Bella?" I looked up from Luna over to Rosalie. She was smiling, but it was a sad smile. "I was asking if there was anything you'd like me to get you?"

I shook my head.

"So," Alice bounced up in her seat. "What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal? Mine is the turkey and the, _aah, _cranberry sauce!"

Both sisters looked towards me. What was my favorite part? I don't think I have one.

_I like the _"potatoes… and… corn."

"Ooh, good choice, Bella! Loaded with butter and garlic? Mmm, delicious!"

Rose answered next. "Mine has to be macaroni and cheese and homemade bread rolls…" It looked as though both were salivating over the thought of all that food.

The guys arrived back from the kitchen and were quick to put on the television to watch the start of the football. I moved over to the middle of the couch in order for Edward and Charlie to both sit beside me. Luna and Nora curled up at our feet.

"Let's go Seahawks!" Emmett whooped as the players made their way onto the field. I spotted then that all the guys, apart from Edward, had a beer in their hand and that Esme had also come to join us.

"Do you want a blanket?" Edward whispered with his head close to mine. I did want a blanket because I was starting to feel the chill, but I didn't want to bother anyone. Clearly Edward must have known my answer before I gave it to him. "Mom, can I get that throw?"

Esme slipped the throw off the back of her seat and unfolded it as she brought it over. "Here you go, sweetheart." She draped it over my legs and left Charlie and Edward to tuck in the sides.

"Try and get some sleep, Bells - you'll feel better after a nap."

_This isn't like a headache which goes away after you get some sleep, but whatever. _

"Luna, up." She had been removed from her harness so found it easier to bound up onto Edward. Her paws wobbled on his thighs as she tried to balance herself. "Good girl. Luna, lap." As instructed, Luna lowered herself and placed her front paws across my lap. Her weight was shared between Edward and I, but it wasn't too much to cause us any distress.

With Luna's weight, a blanket, Edward and Charlie, I slowly felt my body relax. I used Charlie as a pillow and focused on nothing but the cheers of the crowd on T.V. and the commentators. That distraction was enough to help my eyes close, and my mind to switch off.

The first time I woke up, I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep for, but the NFL was still playing in the background. I could hear the whisper of voices, but I faked sleep in order to witness their full conversation. Most of the time people stop talking when I enter the room, and for once I wanted to hear just what it was that they said.

_"She really is quite remarkable." _The accent quickly told me that that was Jasper. _"I wasn't sure what to expect, but this wasn't it."_

Charlie spoke next. _"Bella was doing really well up until last week. We hope that this set-back won't last for too long, and that she will be recovering properly soon."_

Was I not recovering already? I thought my eating, talking, walking and basic daily life was me recovering? Was I really that bad?

_"Even with the set-back, this is not the girl I first met. She could barely say two words to me, and now we can have a proper conversation." _Thank you, Rose - I knew I could rely on you to back me up.

_"I feel so sorry for her. I wish I knew what to do to help."_

Edward answered his sister. _"What you are doing today is helping her, Alice. Including Bella in a conversation, or simply just making her feel like part of the group is helping her. The last thing she wants is to feel like an outsider." _

_"Yes, but I would like to do more."_

Carlisle's calm voice broke the sibling's discussion. _"Regardless of what we can do, or what we have done, it is most important that Bella understands that we are there for her. She is going through an incredibly difficult time right now, and she is battling something that not everyone will fully understand. We need to give her the time and space to recover mentally, and constantly remind her that she is loved, she is protected and she is safe."_

Their conversation was not what I had expected it to be. I always thought that they spoke negatively about me, that they would curse at how badly I was doing, but it was the complete opposite of that. Half of the people in this room I had never met before, yet they all wanted to help me - why? I'm not that important. Carlisle said that they need to remind me that I am loved. That surprised me the most out of everything.

After their conversation died down and went back to the football, I fell asleep once again, and this time my dreams weren't plagued with the horror of my memories. If only all my dreams could be like that.

0-0

**3:41**

Not only did Esme enjoy putting on a grand meal for her family, she also enjoyed the decorations that came with it, which was made clear when I saw the dining table for the fist time. Esme, Alice and Rose had put a lot of time and effort into the centrepieces. In the middle of the table, where the turkey was going to sit, was a beautiful display of autumn leaves and squashes. Candles were spotted about and a plaid runner went from one end of the table to the other. Each person had a red cloth napkin which held their cutlery, and some fake flowers had been tied together and slotted alongside the knife and fork. I hadn't seen a table more decorated in my life.

I was seated first, just so that we could get Luna comfortable under my seat without having to dodge various legs and feet. Like with breakfast, Edward and Charlie sat on either side of me, and then Rose took the seat directly opposite. One-by-one everyone helped themselves to the mountain of side dishes which had been prepared, and Carlisle took the role of carving the turkey.

"Would you like me to make up a plate for you?" Charlie asked.

I nodded my head and thankfully didn't have to go into my detail - Charlie knew what I liked and disliked and how big a portion I would have wanted.

"No bread rolls though, right?"

No. Bread rolls remind me of sandwiches. That was something that I couldn't face just yet.

After a minute or two I was handed a plate which held small helpings of: mashed potato, corn, macaroni, sweet potato casserole and held room for turkey. I was told that I could have more if I wanted, but Charlie didn't want to make me sick by giving me too much. I couldn't help but look around the other plates, seeing them piled high with green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, stuffing… all of the things that I used to enjoy - the essentials for any Thanksgiving meal, in my opinion. Maybe next year I can enjoy them again.

"Would you like some turkey, Bella?"

I looked up at Carlisle. "Yes… please." I answered with a stutter.

Two slices there loaded onto my plate. "Please don't feel like you have to eat it all."

I waited until everyone had taken their seat before getting started. I felt eyes on me every time I took a bite - chances are they probably weren't watching, but I couldn't help but worry about it. Did they judge how small my plate was compared to theirs? Were they internally critiquing how slow I was? Or maybe they were just happy that I was eating _something? _It was hard to tell.

Shortly after the dinner began, Esme quietened the room and announced that it was time for everyone to say what they were thankful for this year. I had been thinking on and off about what I was wanting to say and how I would say it. Usually I went for the same thing - grateful to be able to own my own house and have a job that I love - but this year it was different. Much different.

"Rose, why don't you go first, dear?"

"I am incredibly thankful for my husband and our daughter - I never thought that this would happen, and so I feel very lucky to be in this position. I am also thankful for my wonderful family who help me through the pregnancy every day."

"I am sure I can speak for all of us and say how excited we are to meet the new addition."

Carlisle spoke next, he was thankful for our health and for all the wonderful food that we are privileged enough to be eating. It went around the table in turn - Alice was thankful for her job and all the children that she gets to teach. Emmett was thankful for sugar, caffeine and that the Seahawks won today. Charlie was up next. He put his knife and fork down onto the plate, cleared his throat, and began to talk. The raw emotion was clear in his voice.

"I will forever be thankful for every single person who has helped, and continues to help Bella and myself. It has been the worst year of my life, but it would be a lot different if a few certain people had not been present."

My dad has always been a man of little words, so to hear his genuine thanks and appreciation hit me harder than I had expected. I gnawed away at my bottom lip in hope that it would stop the tears from spilling over, but it didn't work. To help fight off my emotions I decided to get stuck into my own little speech, but that one only proved to be harder. I had asked to borrow Edward's phone where I typed up everything that I wanted to say.

"Are you okay for me to read this all out?" Edward clarified, to which I nodded. "Okay, so Bella has written out her thanks which I am going to read out for her." He looked over my words briefly before speaking them, and it was clear from the new tears in his eyes that he found my words to be just as emotional as I had.

"This time last year I never would have thought that my life would have changed so dramatically, and this time three months ago I didn't think I would have made it any further. Because of that, I am thankful for several things." Edward paused for a second. I refused to look anywhere other than at my lap. "First off I am so thankful for Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper for welcoming us into their home and for allowing us to share this holiday with you all. I am thankful for Rosalie and Emmett who constantly support me and worked around the clock in order to help. Last but not least, I am thankful for Luna, Nora, Edward and my Dad - I don't think I would be here today if it wasn't for them and everything that they do for me."

The entire room was silent - you would have heard a pin drop. Cautiously, I looked up from my lap to see that everyone was looking at me. I witnessed Esme, Rose and Alice wiping tears from their cheeks. Edward put one hand on my thigh, and as he came in closer he whispered: "That was beautiful. You constantly amaze me."

_He said that I constantly amaze him? Does that make up for him calling me 'pretty'?_

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Thank… you."

"For what?" He asked with a laugh. I didn't know what was so funny.

"For… helping me."

"You never need to thank me for that."

0-0

The desserts were consumed and we sat at the table talking for a while afterwards. For once I didn't want to leave the room, and even when Carlisle offered to take the dogs for their evening walk, I didn't fight the need for them to stay. I even found that I was enjoying myself and when eight o'clock came around I refused to be taken to bed. I was scared for this evening to end, only because as soon as I fell asleep James will appear and the cycle will start again tomorrow.

It was almost like Groundhog Day - I will wake up and relive the same day over-and-over.

But with the right people, everything should be okay.

Maybe.

0-0

**I am Scottish and so have never celebrated Thanksgiving, like always all of my information came from the internet, so I am sorry if I have butchered your holiday! **

**I used to have a tradition where I would update on my birthday, and seeing as that day is tomorrow, I have stuck to my tradition! Please let me know what you thought :) **


	22. Chapter 21

**I feel like I need to apologise for the delay with this chapter - basically my anxiety has been really bad this last week which resulted in me being bed-bound and constantly falling asleep. Because of that this chapter is more of a filler and not as detailed than the others; I needed to get something updated and I would have felt awful had I delayed it any longer. I hope that you still enjoy it, and thank you again for all of your wonderful reviews for the last chapter. **

Hereafter  
Chapter Twenty-One

**November 23rd, 2018.  
****Edward**

My mind was a messed-up place.

Everything was going so well, and Bella had surprised the hell out of me. Not one single panic attack occurred yesterday, and she even took part in all the festive activities. She isn't the reason why my mind is messed-up today. I mean… technically she is, but it isn't her fault. Bella and Charlie had planned to head back to Forks tomorrow morning, and I don't know what to do - if I stay here there is a high chance that Bella's health will deteriorate again, but if I leave and go with them, she'll get too used to me being there. The whole housing situation is also causing me issues. I've been living with my parents for the last three months whilst my house was under surveillance, and now that James is behind bars I am free to return. But do I want to? Do I really want to go back to the house, where James has been snooping around, perhaps even managed to get inside? My house is my safe place, however I wasn't sure how safe I would feel there any more. I can't stay here forever, so I suppose it was time to find a new safe place.

"Yo, little brother." My head snapped up, shaking it to try and relieve myself of the constant questions. Emmett and Jasper were both looking straight at me. "We're placing bets to see how much the girls spend today. My guess is anywhere from three-fifty to four hundred." Emmett sighed at the idea of Rosalie spending all that money.

"Yeah, well you all know what your sister is like when it comes to a sale. I'll be bankrupt by the end of the day." Jasper tilted his head towards the ceiling, as if to send off a silent prayer to the big man in the sky.

Our laughter filled the otherwise quiet room. It was a nice change. "I suppose I'm lucky that my money is my money?"

"I swear down, if Rose comes home with one more thing for the baby I am taking it straight back to the store." Emmett closed his eyes for a second, to help calm his frustration. "I love my daughter and I will give her the world, but you know she has enough clothes to do her until she is five years old? _Five years old!"_

"That is exactly why I am waiting a little bit longer before we have a kid."

"Jazz, you do realize that Alice is just as bad with her niece, right? Majority of the baby clothes found around my house were bought by Alice - she has matching shoes and fucking hairbands to go with them."

Jasper let out a grown - he thought he was safe. "So that is where all my money is going!"

From beside me, a tiny little giggle hit my ears. Bella had been using my shoulder to sleep on, but clearly our high volume had caused her to wake up. I always loved it when she laughed - it gave me hope that perhaps not everything inside her head was hurting her.

"Would you have joined Alice and Rose Black Friday shopping if you could?"

Bella shook her lightly and smiled. "_I… don't like… shopping." _Her words were only loud enough for me to hear.

"Ha!" I laughed at my brothers. "Bella doesn't like shopping."

"Maybe you could teach my wife a thing or two…" Jasper grumbled.

"That is because you are a smart thing, Little One, and you know how to save your money."

Our conversation died down after that, and we paid more attention to the show that was on TV, until Esme walked into the room with a tray in her hands. She brought the tray over towards Bella and sat the legs delicately either side of her lap. She had a wide range of left overs from mashed potatoes, turkey, to macaroni and cheese. The steam bellowed from the plate. "You might need to leave it to cool slightly, dear."

I took the glass of water off the tray and moved it to the side table, just to keep it from falling.

"Mom, I'm also hungry… can I take a plate just like that?" Emmett gave our mother his perfected puppy eyes.

"Once the girls return from their shopping trip we'll all be having lunch. You can wait until then."

Emmett made a noise that sounded like a petulant child, until our mother was out of earshot. "If you can't eat all that, Bella, I know a person who can help you…" He thumbed towards himself, grinning.

I knew perfectly well that Bella would give him the rest of the plate if she couldn't finish it, however from the mouthfuls that she was taking I had a feeling that Emmett would not be as lucky as he hoped. It was only ten o'clock, but this was already Bella's second meal of the day - we were trying to get her into the habit of eating four large meals a day all meeting the dietary requirement. Thankfully she was nearly always hungry, so we hadn't had any issues so far.

0-0

It was eleven-thirty by the time that Alice and Rose finally came home from their Black Friday shopping, Emmett had been complaining for the last hour about the amount of time that they had been out for - especially seeing as Rose was eight months pregnant, and a busy shopping mall is perhaps not the best place for her to be right now.

"Close your eyes, Bella!" Alice called from outside the living room.

I knew without her telling me that closing her eyes was something that Bella did not want to do - the fear of the unknown can become very real and scary. I told Alice to put whatever it was behind her back instead, and the squeeze of my hand was Bella's silent way of thanking me. Her hand did not leave mine until the moment that Alice handed over a large black plastic bag. I had no way of knowing what Alice had bought, but knowing my sister, it was going to be something clothes related and extremely thoughtful.

"I didn't know exact sizes so I had to guess, but I hope you like it."

Slowly, slowly, Bella reached into the bag and pulled out the first item. It was a white rectangular shoe box and once the lid had been lifted and the tissue paper pulled away, a pair of fluffy slippers were seen. They were a very light pink in color and reminded me of some of the socks that Bella likes to wear.

"Th-thank… you." I took the bag off of Bella's lap in order for her to look at the slippers properly. On closer inspection they were found to be slipper boots with a thick plastic grip at the bottom so that she could wear them to the car, or around the house with more stability. Bella only wears sneakers when she leaves the house, which is a very rare occasion, but I know that she misses the comfort of her fluffy socks when she has to put them on, and so with these boots she could keep them on at all times.

Alice crouched down beside Bella and took the bag that I was holding. "Now, these next items are in a size 0, so you can let me know if they are too big or too small, okay?" I won't lie, the idea of a size 0 scared the hell out of me but hopefully with her new diet she won't need to be that size for long.

From the black bag, Alice brought out a separate, smaller bag with the word 'Lululemon' printed across the front. I had never heard of this store before, but from the gasp that slipped from Bella's mouth, she had seen it. "_…Too… much." _She whispered. I'm assuming it's an expensive brand?

"Don't be silly; it's not too much! If it makes you feel better these were on sale!"

"You will love these, Bella!" Rosalie broke into the conversation. "I used to live in these yoga pants - back when I could fit them - and they are the comfiest things I have ever worn."

The yoga pants in question were a deep maroon in color. They just seemed like your bog-standard yoga pants to me, but what do I know? To match the pants, Alice had also purchased a plain black, zip-up hoodie which had thumb holes on the wrists which I knew Bella would have her thumbs through the second she had the clothing on.

"Thank you… Alice." She scooted her butt towards the end of the couch and squeezed my hand tightly, which told me that she wanted to stand. I helped her up onto her feet, and within seconds she was throwing her arms around my sister in a hug. I don't think there was a single dry eye in the room. Not only had Alice and Rose bought such a thoughtful gift, but Bella had shown everyone just how brave she could be by hugging someone who is still practically a stranger to her. I don't think Bella had even realized what she had done, but when she saw that nothing bad was going to happen, she tightened the hug as much as she could.

0-0

For once we were having a truly relaxing day. Last year both Dad and Emmett had to work shortly after the Thanksgiving meal had been eaten, but this year none of us had to work and we could spend the day at home, eating leftovers, and watching crappy movies on TV. Bella napped, Rosalie napped and I even spotted Charlie's eyes close once or twice. For the first time in a long time, we could finally enjoy some peace and quiet without the constant pressure coming from the outside world.

Like always, I sat on one side of the couch, Charlie sat on the other, and Bella was snuggled in, in the middle. Both dogs lay at our feet. I could tell that Bella wanted to join in with the discussions or at least stay awake for them all, but her body was telling her otherwise. Every so often I would feel a nudge as she fell asleep beside me, or the slight dip in the couch as she adjusted the way she sat.

"I get to pick the next movie!" Alice cheered as she skipped towards Emmett to steal the television remote from him.

"It better not be a chick flick." He moaned before handing the object over.

"It's not a chick flick… but I want to revisit my childhood, and if you and Edward were good big brothers then you'll know which movie that is."

_Well if that's not a million dollar question… _

Emmett and I were clearly thinking the same thing. "How the hell am I meant to remember something that you watched twenty-odd years ago?"

"Because I watched it _every day. _Right Mom?"

Esme laughed along with her daughter's enthusiasm. "You refused to go to sleep until you had watched that final scene."

_Oh, now I remember. _

"Are you talking about Free Willy?" I asked with a grin.

"The one and only!"

Rosalie clapped in excitement, whilst Emmett sunk further down into his seat. Despite how much he did not want to watch that movie, Alice had control and it wasn't long before the memorable music began to play as the opening scene lit up the screen. I wouldn't say that this film was in my Top 5, however it did bring back good memories of us all watching it together. When Jesse and Willy first met at the aquarium, I just so happened to catch Bella's face in the corner of my eye; she had the biggest smile - bigger than I have ever seen - painted across her face.

I could now add Free Willy and Fly Away Home to her list of top favorites. Bella obviously preferred the movies from her childhood, just like Alice.

"You can watch this everyday if it'll make you happy." I spoke to Bella quietly with a smile. If an orca whale made her happy and put a smile on her face, I would even buy her the collector's edition and allow her to watch it twenty-four hours a day. Whatever it took.

"Edward…" Bella pulled down on the sleeve of my shirt. She had her phone in her hand and the note's app open. With two thumbs she began to type: **This is you.** She then continued to point at the television where the boy was seen playing his harmonica.

**Me?** I typed my reply. **I'm Jesse?**

**I was taken from my family without my consent, and made to live a life that I did not ask for. Then you saved me - you freed me, back to my family and to where I belong.**

I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks, and with a smirk I wiped one away and said: "I'm certain it is your mission to constantly make me cry, and so far you are doing a wonderful job at it."

Bella stroked my cheek with one hand, a frown etched between her brows. "You're… sad."

"I'm not sad, Sweetheart. Your words hit me hard, but they never make me sad."

"Hey Bella," Rose must have caught onto our conversation. "How about we go whale watching one day in the Puget Sound? Orcas are known to be found there."

"I...can?"

"Of course you can. If they want to come out to play, it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever witness. I had to do it for work once, and I would be more than happy to share that experience with you."

As the movie played on, and we all watched the final scene when Willy jumped over the rocky boundary which separated him from the ocean, nobody said a word. It was either because people had fallen asleep, or because this classic had drawn them in. Alice was on the edge of seat, bouncing with excitement as the water droplets rained down onto Jesse. "I've got the chills!" She squealed.

The atmosphere in the room was inviting, and it almost felt like nothing could dampen it… that was, until Carlisle chose to end the movie marathons and catch up with the evening news.

The second that the channel was switched over, the mood changed dramatically.

Bella's face was plastered all across the screen.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Bella couldn't hide away from the public eye for too long.

The headline simply said: _ISABELLA SWAN FOUND ALIVE. _

"Carlisle, we don't need to watch this." Esme said. The TV was paused and stuck on a photo of Bella taken well before this all happened. The difference between her then and now was frightening. Her hair was long, shiny and healthy and her eyes held a sparkle that I was still to witness. She had color in her cheeks and a confident smile on her face. I wondered, at that moment, whether I would see that Bella again.

"C'mon, kiddo; I'll take you somewhere else." Charlie added.

"…No." Bella's voice was firm and louder than normal. "I… need… this."

"You don't need this. You don't need to relive this." Charlie was adamant to get her to leave the room, but Bella was just as determined to stay.

"Please… play."

Reluctantly, Carlisle hit play and the press conference continued.

_"For almost one-hundred days, law enforcement has been working tirelessly to bring Isabella Swan home, and three months ago, we did just that. It is known that on August twenty-second the twenty-four year old missing girl was found - alive and well. For the last three months Isabella has been in the comforting embrace of the law enforcement and her family, and today, as I speak to you now, her kidnapper has finally been arrested and is awaiting trial."_

"Fuck yeah he is!" Emmett cheered and sent a fist into the air.

"I still wish I had shot him in the head." Charlie muttered under his breath.

_"For one-hundred days you, the public, never gave up hope and helped us search for Isabella, and for that we would like to thank you all for your time and effort. Isabella is safe, and her family ask that you please respect their privacy in this extremely emotional time." _

The reporter then introduced Sheriff Mark McKinty, who I recognized as Emmett's superior. He thanked the reporter and then continued to explain Bella's story.

_"On August twenty-second, at around ten-thirty that evening, we received a call from an individual claiming that they had found Isabella Swan in their front yard. Isabella was taken to a local hospital where she was looked over and examined, and has been given the best care since that day. My deputies responded in mass immediately, and worked tirelessly. After constant surveillance, using detailed descriptions that Isabella courageously gave of the suspect and with the help of Forks Police, we have finally made an arrest and he is currently being held in the Multnomah County Jail as he awaits trial. His name is James Parker - he is thirty-five years old from Chester, Montana. He is currently being held on one count of first degree intentional homicide for the murder of a young woman, and two counts of kidnapping in the first degree." _

Bella's picture was quickly changed to James' mugshot. I found it incredibly hard to look, however Bella couldn't take her eyes off the screen. It was almost like she was staring down at him one last time; telling him that she won and that he was getting what he deserved. He will always have some sort of control over her, but I hope, by watching this, that she will soon realize that he is caught and she is safe. He won't be able to touch her ever again.

0-0

That evening, once everybody had left and Bella had been taken to bed, Carlisle found me in the living room with a mug of decaf coffee held delicately in my hands. I had used this alone time to try and make sense of everything running around my head, but my father must have caught onto my odd behaviour and offered his help where he could. He asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about, and for a few minutes I didn't say a word and sat in complete silence.

"I don't know." I muttered after a while. I wasn't sure how to word my troubles or even begin the conversation. "I'm so confused."

"Confused about what? I know that something is bothering you, and has been bothering you for the last day or two." I never could keep anything from Carlisle; to him I was like an open book.

"I can't seem to work out what is going on inside my head. Technically, because James has now been caught, I'm free to go home again, right?"

With his fingers Carlisle combed back his hair. "Your house is your own again, but that is not what's troubling you, is it?"

_See? An open book. _

Nora sensed my aggravation and placed her head upon my lap like she often does with Bella. It instantly calmed me down. "My house is my safe spot, but I don't think I'll feel safe there again. However my main issue is to do with Bella - whatever I decide, whether to stay here or to travel back to Forks with them, there is a high chance that her mental health will plummet regardless. I cannot live on Charlie's couch forever, and I'll need to leave at some point."

"I can see where you are coming from, but I also think that your answer is hiding in plain sight."

"What do you mean?" I asked with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You haven't had any issues working whilst staying in Forks, correct?"

"Yes…?"

"And you mention not feeling safe in your own house again?"

I sighed as my body fell back into the seat. One hand rubbed away at my tired eyes whereas the other continued to scratch Nora's ears. I knew what Dad was trying to say. "I've never lived anywhere else apart from Oregon."

"What is your number one priority right now?"

I answered without even hesitating for a single second. "Bella."

Carlisle nodded and gave me a sad smile. "She is a very intelligent young lady, however her mind is somewhat like a child's right now - Bella will see one thing and won't understand that it isn't permanent. If she sees you in her house everyday she will expect you to be there everyday. When it comes time for you to go home again, she won't allow herself to understand why you need to go and why you cannot stay there."

"I think, deep down, she understands."

"This is the first time I have properly met Bella, however from seeing how she acts and the language that she uses, I can tell she is incredibly smart. Unfortunately the PTSD has had some serious cognitive effects and her brain no longer works the same way as it did before - what is easy for us to understand, is no longer easy for her." Carlisle paused for a second to think over his words. "Take you for example - back when you were in high school and your class schedule changed all of a sudden. How did that make you feel?"

I could remember that day like it was yesterday. I believe I phoned my parents when the new schedule was announced and they had to calm me down from having a panic attack. Change is a big thing for someone with anxiety. "I felt like I was out of control and nothing made sense."

"Right, but you understood why the change had to happen?"

"Yeah - it just took me longer to adjust to it."

"Exactly; you understood why, however your first thought is to panic and fight off all of those negative thoughts. Bella doesn't have that ability at the moment - perhaps in time she will, but right now, if something changes, she cannot fathom out the reason behind it. If you leave with them tomorrow, but then come home again in a week's time, Bella will ask where you are going, if you are coming back, and she won't believe you until you return again."

_Now I'm just getting confused. _

I couldn't work out what he was trying to say or what point he was trying to make. "So… I either stay there or I don't stay there?" I hazarded a guess.

"Exactly. You are only going to confuse her if you leave, and then return, and then leave again."

"Okay, so what are you trying to say? I'm confused."

My father laughed lightly and tapped my knee with one hand. "What I am trying to say, Edward, is that I think it would be best for everybody involved if you find your new safe spot in Forks. Soon Bella will realize that some days you will be there, some days you won't; but you will only be a matter of minutes away if she needs you."

"I don't know Forks, or even Washington. Everything I know is here." My mind was running a mile a minute with no sign of slowing down.

"You will soon learn your way about, and you'll quickly find that you are panicking less because Bella won't be a four hour drive away."

"Do you think I can do it?" I asked, mainly because I needed his vote of confidence.

"Of course you can! Your mother and I will help you, but you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

I couldn't give a solid answer just yet, but the fact that I needed to move house regardless, and my work wouldn't be effected, helped me make up my mind.

I was interested to see what Bella would say.

Surely she would want me to live closer, right?

I suppose I'd find out in the morning.

0-0

**I have watched Free Willy 1, 2 and 3 about five times this last week whilst cuddled up in bed. It is my guilty pleasure when I feel like crap, so it made sense to include it into this chapter. **

**To help clear up any confusion with the news report - James kidnapped Victoria ten years before Bella. At the time she was fifteen and he was twenty-four. Because he then killed Victoria, that is why he is being held on one count of murder but two counts of kidnapping - plus other things, but that will be mentioned at the trial. **

**So again I apologise that this chapter didn't hold as much as others, but I hope you can understand and that you still enjoyed it. What do you think of Carlisle's idea? Should Edward go along with it? Let me know! **


	23. Chapter 22

**So you all agree that Edward should move to Forks, but how will Bella take the news…?**

Hereafter  
Chapter 22

**November 24th, 2018  
****Bella**

I need to go home today.

I suppose I could say I am excited to go, but I'm nervous for the travel and whether or not people will be standing outside my house. Maybe they will listen to what the news report said and give us some space, but I doubt that. These people need money in order to support their families, and targeting me is easy money right now.

At least I will have Edward, Charlie and Luna. They will protect me the most, right?

Yeah - they will protect me.

I had made a list in my head of everything that I needed to do before we left: I had to pack, I had to eat and I had to say goodbye to Esme and Carlisle. Oh, and Nora. I keep forgetting that she can't come with us and that makes me sad. I wish she could join us, but it's not fair for her to be taken from her home all the time, and I know that Esme and Carlisle miss her when she is gone. She needs to stay here and that is okay. I think.

I wore my new outfit from Alice, and thankfully the slippers had the rubber soles which meant that I could walk around comfortably in them. Comfort is one of the biggest and most important things for me right now - there is no way I can relax if I feel constricted in my clothes.

Charlie took me down to the kitchen where Edward was already enjoying his breakfast. He had taken the dogs on their morning walk, and I suppose he was fuelling himself up before the long drive. Charlie then asked if it was okay to leave me here in order for him to get showered and packed. I said it was, because I was with Edward and Esme who would both look after me.

"How are you feeling, dear?" She asked with a gentle smile.

"Fine." I whispered. I wasn't fine, because I didn't want to go home or face the journey back there, but I didn't have the strength to voice that many words.

"Good! I have a fresh pot of oatmeal on the stove if you would like some?" I nodded and Esme was quick to fix me up a bowl. I wish that they lived closer, because then maybe Esme could look after me when Charlie went back to work. I'm not stupid; I knew that he had to return to work at some point. Our savings weren't going to last forever. I dreaded the day, but I knew it was coming.

"Hey, I was wondering if we could have a quick talk?"

I didn't like the way that Edward worded that. His voice was a whisper, and when my first and only boyfriend broke up with me he used those exact words. Nothing good ever came from '_can we have a talk'. _I think Edward noticed my sudden fear and he was quick to add: "It's nothing bad, I promise."

"What…" _is it? _

He cleared his throat with a cough and tapped both hands against the tabletop. For something that 'isn't bad', he certainly seemed anxious to tell me. "Bella, I won't be able to travel back to Forks with you today…"

Oh.

That's not what I had expected him to say.

Why is he not coming with me?

Will he come back at all?

How long has he known about this?

Why keep such a secret from me?

I've probably annoyed him. Maybe he has had enough of babysitting me.

But I thought we were friends? He _promised _that he would look after me?

I hadn't even noticed Esme placing the bowl in front of me.

Was she playing an act as well? This family is full of actors. They were wonderful at their job.

"Bella?"

No. Don't talk to me. Not just yet.

I need for my head to stop spiralling before I can think straight.

"Please, sweetheart, don't cry."

I was crying? Oh, I guess I was.

"It's honestly not that bad."

Do I have the ability to shout? I want to shout.

Maybe just raise my voice slightly?

"Why?" Was the only word I managed to squeeze from my pursed lips.

I felt Edward reach for my hand, and when I moved it away he let out a loud sigh.

"I need to move house, and so I need to stay here in order to pack-up my old one."

Luna felt the vibration that buzzed from my tapping feet and instantly came to my rescue. Everyone else might abandon me, but Luna wouldn't.

"Where?" I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know, or cared at that moment, but I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"I'm not sure just yet, but I was wondering what you would think about me moving to Forks?"

_Forks? Why would Edward move to Forks? He doesn't care about you anymore. _The negative voices took over my head. They were louder than my own thoughts.

Maybe he does care? Maybe he is moving in order to be closer to me?

_Nope - it is clear that he is lying. Edward is only saying that so to get in your good books again. He'll only break your heart. _

"Bella? Can you tell me how you feel?"

_Yeah, Bella - tell him how you _really _feel. _

Do I lie or tell him the truth?

_Make him see how hurt you are. Twist the knife. _

"I'm… confused."

"Okay, so why don't you tell me what is confusing and I can help you understand?"

_He doesn't care about you… _My inner voice sang in a mocking tune.

"You… don't care" _about me._

"What? What are you talking about? Of course I care!"

Please don't shout at me; I haven't done anything wrong.

I looked over at Edward to see that his expression was one of sadness mixed with a slight bit of anger. He had no right to be angry. I was the one who should be angry. "Why?" I asked again and hoped to receive a better response.

"'Why' what? Why do I care, or why am I moving?" He was agitated, and it was clear to tell from his tone of voice.

Are we having a fight? I don't like fights or confrontation.

"Why…" _are you _"…moving?"

"I wouldn't feel safe returning to that house again, even though James has been arrested. I need to look for a new place to live and I thought that you might enjoy me living closer to you?"

Before I could reply I had to take a large gulp of water - my throat felt incredibly tight. "I do… like that." In actual fact I loved it, but I didn't want to say that in case my inner-thoughts were correct.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Then why are you so annoyed with me? What have I done wrong? I don't understand."

I didn't like where this conversation was going. Edward had, unknowingly, done a lot of things wrong, but I didn't feel like it was my responsibility to tell him that. Instead I asked for Charlie but I was told that he was in the shower. "I want… my Dad!" My words were loud and forceful. Enough so that my breathing became labored and my entire body shook. My crying quickly turned into sobbing and every inch of my skin began to itch. It was that very moment when my heart pounded and my throat seemed to close, that I began to panic.

Oh God, oh God; I can't breathe.

I'm going to die.

I felt hands on my shoulders, but I didn't know who from. Soothing words were telling me to breathe and to copy their actions. A heavy weight pressed down onto my knees and chest.

"That's it, sweetheart, focus on my voice." I think that was Edward.

"Can you feel the different textures in your hands, Bella? One is soft and one is hard - can you feel that?" That was definitely Carlisle. He had placed two separate items into each hand and he helped me feel around with my fingers to tell the difference. "Focus on those items and nothing else, okay? I'm going to change them to something else now and I need you to tell me what it feels like."

The item in my left hand was removed and replaced with something else. In between pants, I managed to mutter out two words. "Cold… metal."

Surprisingly, I was so focused on working out what was in my hands, that my heart rate had slowed down without me knowing. I still had difficulty with my breathing, but it was no-where near as bad as before. I suppose that just shows that this is all in your head and the slightest distraction can help settle it.

"Try and open your eyes whenever you feel safe enough."

I took a few more deep breaths and one-by-one, I opened my eyes. The heavy weight on my chest came from Luna, and Edward had his hands on my knees. His eyes were glazed over with tears.

"Do you want some water, sweetheart?" Esme handed over a glass of water with a straw, but when I didn't reach out for it, Edward took it for me. I watched his every movement - when he stood from the chair and helped me place the straw in my mouth. It was hard for me to hold the glass with Luna in my arms, so I was extremely thankful for his help. I was still annoyed and upset, but I don't know what would have happened to me if they weren't around me when the episode started.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked once I had finished drinking.

"I'm… fine."

I wanted to say more and to apologize for how I acted, but part of me felt like I didn't need to. It wasn't my fault that Edward was staying here and I believe that my actions were justified.

Everything felt better when Carlisle said that he was going to get Charlie for me. I needed my Dad more than I needed anything else in that moment.

0-0

It turned out that Charlie knew of Edward's plans and he was happy that he had decided to move to Forks. He tried to help me understand by saying that this will be better for me and that Edward won't live so far away anymore, but I found it difficult to work it out in my head. That was, of course, until the moment that we needed to leave. Everything was packed up in the car and we were saying goodbye and thank you to Esme and Carlisle. They both said how happy they were that we chose to come here and hoped to see us again soon. The minute that I sat on the sofa and said goodbye to Nora was when I properly started to cry - I had so much to thank her for, and I knew that if I didn't have Luna around to help me then I would really struggle.

"I'll… miss you." I whispered to Nora. I knew that she probably couldn't tell what I was saying, but it felt right to tell her.

"She'll miss you, too." Edward's voice broke my quiet surroundings. He perched on the arm rest beside me and stroked Nora's fur like I was doing. "You'll see her again soon; I'm sure of it."

"When?" I asked, almost too scared to hear the answer.

"Well, my parents said that they will help with my move, so I'm sure they'd bring Nora with them."

Edward sounded so sure of everything, but I was finding it hard to trust him at the moment. As bad as that sounds, it was a major shock to my system when I heard his news this morning, and since then my negative thoughts have made me think differently. He has promised me so much in the past, and usually he sticks to his promises, but not all of the time. How can I tell for certain that Edward will return, that I will see Nora again, and that this isn't some horrible lie? I won't know that until I see it with my own eyes.

However, one thing that I am sure of is that I will miss Edward more than I'll miss Nora. Every time I have needed him, he has been there. Every time I've phoned him crying, or had trouble talking, he has been patient and allowed me the time to calm down and say whatever it is that I need to say. He has been a knight in shining armor, and I don't know how well I will cope without him there for me.

"Bella?" I looked up at Edward's sad face. This was hurting him too, and it was the first time that I had properly realized that. "I know you are mad at me, but this is for the best. I will pack up my house as quickly as possible, okay?"

"…Promise?"

With a smile, he cupped my cheek. "I promise. There were times that I had to leave Forks and I didn't return for almost two weeks, remember? This will be different, because you know that when I return I will be there to stay." He made a good point, and I understood where he was coming from, but this felt different. This felt harder for some reason.

My crying only came on harder when I was helped into the car. I gave Edward a hug and I didn't want to let go - my hands gripped onto his shirt but they wouldn't move. He soothed me with his words and soft strokes on my back, but it didn't help. I wanted him to stay with me, I wanted to apologize for my actions this morning, but most of all I wanted to say how much I will miss him and how much he means to me. I hoped he got the message through my hug.

_"__Edward." _I sobbed as the car door was closed. I held one arm out the window, but he couldn't hold my hand for too long. The car engine started, Esme and Carlisle called out their 'goodbye's, but my tears continued to fall. "_Edward." _His hand left mine as Charlie began to drive.

"You'll be okay, Sweetheart. I'll see you soon."

"I'm…sorry." I said those words as loudly as possible, but I don't know if he could hear me over the noise of the engine. "I'm… sorry."

"He wouldn't want you to apologize, Bells."

I turned to Charlie. "Why?"

"Because you did nothing wrong. This morning was hard for you, and he knows that. As soon Edward moves house, this whole thing will be forgotten about."

I hoped that he was telling the truth; I don't think I could handle it if this mental rollercoaster continued.

0-0

**November 26th, 2018.**

It has now been two days since we got home. Surprisingly the drive went quite well, and we were pleased to see that no-one was standing outside the house when we turned up. We had a few food packages on the doorstep from nearby neighbors, but that was it. The morning after, I had a phone call from Angela asking how I was doing, and whether I would want her to come over and see me. I accepted the offer, and her next available time was this afternoon. A lot had happened over the last week, and I knew that she would be able to help me see straight again.

I had been receiving messages from Edward constantly, usually asking how I was feeling. I appreciated his heartfelt words, and it meant a lot to me, but it definitely made me miss him more. This morning I had another message waiting when I woke up, and he had included a picture along side it. The fact that Edward sent the message at 06:45, told me that he was definitely trying to get everything done as quickly as possible. His message read:

**Look what has arrived! I have a busy day ahead of me, so I'll talk to you when I can. Have a lovely day.**

He had snapped a shot of a pile of packing boxes that took up the floor.

I replied with a photo of Luna lying next to my sock-clad feet.

**Angela is coming to see me today. I hope your packing goes well. Miss you.**

I always made sure to tell Edward that I miss him. It makes me smile when he repeats those words. It was days like this, when I wanted him here more than anything, that I thoroughly regret how I treated him the other day. Edward was there - right in front of me. I had the opportunity to hug him, to smile and to joke about with him, but I ruined all of that with my childish behavior. I know from experience that everything can change in a second - what if I never saw him again? What if our last memories of each other was a stupid panic attack and me shouting at him? I always seem to ruin everything, and that just proves it.

Charlie had told me to tell Angela everything that I was feeling. I hope she didn't think badly of me, too.

Five minutes before Angela arrived, I clipped the harness around Luna and made sure that she knew it was time to work and to focus on me. I had a glass of water ready on the table and my favorite candies in a bowl. We still don't know who had left the large bag of Sweedish Fish on our doorstep, but they obviously knew that that was my favorite candy. I thought back to the 'friends' from high school, or maybe my colleagues at work… it has to be one of them, and hopefully I'll find out soon.

I nibbled on the tail of one of the fish, but I put the candy back into the bowl when the doorbell rang. Charlie answered the door and Angela walked into the living room with her large smile present. I was now comfortable enough around her that I could accept the hug she gave me and often I would share her smile.

"How is your day going?" That was her opening line for every session. No day is ever the same, so she needed to ask in order to get a better idea of how I was feeling.

"Okay." I used my tongue to push away at the gummy that was stuck one of my back teeth.

"You said that you wanted to see me today. Is there anything in particular that you want to discuss?"

_I regret everything that I have done in the last 52 hours. _

_I cannot stop thinking about Edward and I'm worried that I won't see him again._

_I miss him more than I thought I would, and I don't know why, _

That was everything that I wanted to say, but in reality I simply muttered: "I… miss… Edward." It was short and sweet, and explained everything.

"Where is Edward at the moment?"

"…Home."

Angela picked up her pen and scribbled something down in the file that she always brought with her. "He lives in Oregon, is that right?" I nodded my head. "It must be hard for him to be so far away, but Edward seems like a wonderful friend to you and so as hard as it is now, he won't be away for long."

My hands balled up into two fists as the anger seeped through me. "He's… moving."

"Moving? Where is he moving too?"

"Forks."

Angela tried to hide her smile, but I noticed it. She usually hid all emotions, but sometimes it was hard for her to do. "That is excellent, Bella! Why does that upset you?"

"I'm scared… that he… is lying."

"Has Edward lied to you before?"

"No."

"Then why would now be any different?"

I couldn't think of an appropriate answer, and so Angela continued to talk. "I want you to think back to when this all started - back to when you arrived on Edward's doorstep. What did he do for you?"

I didn't like thinking back to that day, but I did as Angela told me and answered her question regardless. "Everything."

"And when it came for you to come home with your dad, why did Edward come with you? He could have easily stayed at home."

"Because… he wanted to."

Angela crossed one leg over the other. "It is because he cares about you more than you realize. Edward was a good Samaritan that night, and he stayed with you to make sure that you were safe, but he didn't have to do any more than that. I have only met him a handful of times before now, but I can tell you honestly that he is not the sort of person who would lie about something as big as this."

If Edward isn't lying, then why is my head telling me differently?

"Bella?" I blinked a few times to refocus before turning my head back in Angela's direction. She had a plastic bag in her hands. "I want to try something. First of all, can you tell me what your concentration is like on a scale of one to ten. One being low."

I thought about that for a second. I procrastinate a lot, and constantly get lost in the stream of thoughts. I don't often see what is going on around me because I am too busy battling against myself mentally. Like now, I guess. Silently, I whispered: "… three."

She wrote my answer down onto paper. "Okay, and when Edward told you that he was moving house, did you find yourself listening to what he was saying? Or focusing more on yourself?"

My answer made me feel incredibly selfish. "Myself."

_How is this helping me? How was I meant to see differently if I'm constantly berating myself? _

_Charlie is paying a lot of money for this…_

"It is perfectly normal, but I want you to try something when that happens." Angela opened up the plastic bag and pulled out a pair of black, over-ear headphones. "Hyperacusis - or noise sensitivity - is essentially when everyday noises appear louder than they should. In your case, specific sounds are accompanied by emotional distress or anger, and instantly your entire mood will change. What I want you to try is, when you find yourself getting lost and distracted, putting these headphones on and listening to some music. You can listen to whatever you want, but make sure you are paying attention to the lyrics or the tune. You will quickly find that you have forgotten about the worries in your head, or what was angering you. Do you think you could try that for me?"

I agreed hesitantly - I wasn't sure that this was going to work, but Angela knew more than I did, so I decided to give it a go.

"Thank you, Bella." She placed the headphones on the table between us. "Now, the next time that someone says something that you disagree with, and you find yourself focusing more on yourself, I want you to try the music therapy. Ask to take a few minutes to yourself, or whatever you feel comfortable with. Listen to the music for as long as you like, but only take the headphones off when you feel more relaxed. I will ask what you think of it when I come for our next session, okay?"

Again, I only agreed to make her happy.

0-0

Surprisingly, once our session had finished, and I was left lying on the couch with Luna, I found myself picking up the headphones and plugging them into my phone. My phone was still pretty empty, and so I hadn't added any music yet, however I still had my old Spotify account, and so I signed into that and tapped on the first playlist that came up. It was called 'Songs to Sing in the Shower.' I knew most of the lyrics to the songs that played, and I found that Angela's advice worked. I was so distracted mouthing the lyrics, that for ten minutes I didn't have a single negative thought.

For the first time in three months, I could no longer hear the noises that terrified me on a daily basis - the ringing of the phone or doorbell, someone talking outside, or even cars driving past my house. All of that could have happened during those ten minutes and I would have had no idea.

It put me in such a good mood, that when Edward sent me a message asking how it went with Angela, I caught myself smiling as I replied as quickly as possible.

**It was good. She gave me a new thing to try. Hey, what is your favorite song? Or artist?**

To my astonishment, Edward replied only minutes later.

**My favorite band would have to be Kings of Leon, but let me think about song… Can I ask why?**

Before I replied, I typed 'Kings of Leon' into the search bar and pressed play on the one song that I recognized - 'Use Somebody'. I could imagine Edward driving around in his Volvo, perhaps listening to the song far too loudly and singing at the top of his lungs. It felt good.

**I've been made to listen to music when I need a distraction. **

We continued to talk through text messages for at least an hour after that. I had my headphones on the entire time, and whenever Edward would recommend a song or a band, I would listen to them and let him know of my thoughts. One of the bands that he recommended was a band called 'Biffy Clyro'. I hadn't heard of them before, but I instantly got into their music. After doing some research I found out that the band is Scottish, and the accents flowed through as they sung. That is probably what relaxed me the most. I was never a fan of rock music until now, but it was certainly growing on me. At one point I had the same song on repeat, just because I couldn't stop listening to it.

Everything was going so well.

The smile on Charlie's face when he saw how happy I was, made my mood brighter. He allowed me to keep my headphones on for as long as I wanted to, and I only had to take them off when it came to having dinner, but even then I still had the lyrics playing around my head.

Like I said, everything was going so well.

That was, until the doorbell rang.

"It's probably another one of the neighbors dropping off food." Charlie laughed lightly as he stood up from the table.

_Maybe it's Edward!_

_Maybe he is surprising me again! _

I was almost certain that it was him. Usually he lets me know when he arrives here, but maybe he's been talking to Charlie and they have planned this surprise together?

_It has to be Edward. Who else could it be?_

"Oh, hello…" Charlie's surprised tone didn't bode well with me; surely he wouldn't have acted surprised if he knew Edward was at the door… "Come on in?"

That was when the visitor walked into the room. I dropped my spoon out of pure shock, which sent soup flying into the air.

"Bunny!"

Mom?

0-0

**Renee had to turn up at some point, right?**

**Noise sensitivity is something that I battle with often, and I use music to help deal with it on a daily basis. A simple thing like dropping cutlery once I have just washed them can cause a negative outburst in my head and I have to say "it's fine, it's fine… I'm fine" out loud before I can properly calm down. Fun fact for you there. **

**Okay, so I am interested to know what you all think… are you annoyed with Edward? Are you curious about Renee? Let me know! **


	24. Chapter 23

**You are all very interested about Renee. Well, here she is! **

Hereafter  
Chapter 23

**November 26th, 2018  
****Bella.**

"Oh, Bunny - my sweet girl!"

My mother wrapped her arms around me as she continued to call me the nickname I was given as a baby. The only thing that felt somewhat comforting was the smell of her perfume. She has worn the same one for as long as I can remember, and it will always remind me of my mom. As horrible as it sounds, she was the last person that I wanted to see right now and I hoped that my physical shaking would tell her that.

"My sweetheart, you're shivering. You must be freezing!"

Of course not.

Without saying another word, Renee shrugged off her jacket and cuddled it tight around my shoulders. I caught Charlie's attention by simply looking him straight in the eye, and he was quick to pick up on my brewing panic. "Renee," he spoke slowly as he retook his original seat. "Can I ask what you are doing here?" Normally, in this situation, you shouldn't have to ask that question, but seeing as I haven't seen Mom in almost four years, her arrival came as a bit of a shock.

"I'm here to see my Bunny, of course! As soon as I heard the news I got the first flight out here." She continued to cuddle me, and if I had the ability to talk I would have said that her embrace really wasn't helping right now.

Before Charlie could ask any more questions, my phone vibrated loudly against the wooden table. "It's Edward," Charlie told me after picking up my phone. "Do you want me to talk to him?" I barely even had to nod before Charlie had the phone against his ear. "Hey, Edward." He answered politely. "You haven't called at a bad time, however Bella is… _non-verbal _at the moment, so I'll have her phone you later, okay?" He paused for a second as he listened to whatever Edward was saying. "No, no - it's nothing to be concerned over. I promise you that she is okay. She'll talk to you later… Okay, thank you, Edward."

I really wanted to talk to him, and to reassure him that I was 'okay'. I could imagine he was going crazy not knowing why my barrier had formed again.

"Who's Edward?" Renee asked with a sly grin. "Is he your boyfriend, Bunny?"

Of course any mention of a male name and my mother will instantly think that he is my boyfriend.

_And stop calling me Bunny!_

"Edward is a wonderful friend of Bella's. He has been there every step of the way through her recovery and we have a lot to thank him for." Charlie's subtle dig towards Renee went completely unnoticed, but I managed to catch it and it even made me bite back my smile.

"Sweetheart, you've barely said one word to me since I arrived!"

_Actually, Mom, I've not even made a single sound since you arrived. Surely that should tell you something?_

"Renee, Bella no longer talks. I would appreciate it if you didn't force her into anything right now."

I love my Dad so much.

"Oh, don't be silly, Charlie! Our daughter is the biggest chatterbox - even you know that!"

"Actually, _my _daughter has been through an incredibly traumatic event which has left her mentally and physically scarred. Perhaps if she is comfortable around you, you will hear her talk, but for now I will be her voice."

It has been twenty-odd years since they last saw each other, yet they still fight like cat and dog. The confrontation towards my parents did not sit well with me, and my tap against my thigh had Luna move from under the table to complete her duty. As soon as the large dog stood up on her hind legs, and covered my lap with her paws, Renee practically jumped back in shock. The best thing about all of that - Luna is still growing. She's only going to get bigger.

"Renee, meet Luna - Bella's service dog."

"S-service dog?"

"Yes. A service dog."

"But… but why? You're not blind are you, Bunny?"

If only she wasn't standing behind me, otherwise she would have seen the eye roll that just about had my eyes slip from their sockets. No, mother, I am not blind, but clearly you are. The letters 'PTSD' that were dotted along the entirety of Luna's leash must have gone unnoticed.

"Are you seriously that dumb, Renee?" Charlie voiced the exact words that I was thinking. "Perhaps I should spell it out for you. PTSD - or, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You'll never see Bella without Luna. That dog is being trained to tackle any obstacles that Bella finds too challenging, and will sniff out a panic attack before it starts."

This topic was getting far too hard for me to cope with. I needed to leave and return to my music. And Edward - especially Edward. I nodded my head in direction of the living room, and Charlie knew exactly that I wanted. He didn't say a word as he stood from his seat to help me stand from mine. With his arm as my aid, and Luna on my right side, we made our way back to the comfort of my couch. I heard Renee asking what was happening in the background, but she didn't get her answer until I was settled and Charlie could talk to her out of ear-shot.

Once again Biffy Clyro played through my headphones, and once the relaxation had begun, I found the strength to pull out my phone and finally talk to Edward.

**I'm so sorry. My mom just arrived and… I don't like it Edward. I thought it was you. I really hoped it was you.**

Usually, if something like this happened, Edward would have been in his car in seconds, but I knew that that wasn't going to happen. He needed to stay there for now. I just hoped it wouldn't be for too long.

His reply caused tears to form in my eyes.

**I wish it could have been me, I really do. I'm sorry that you're finding your mom's visit difficult, and I will always be here if you need to talk. Grab Luna, Plushie Nora and a blanket and make sure that you keep your mind safe. You can do this, Bella - you are stronger than you may realize. **

I typed out three separate words, but they were enough.

**I miss you. **

His previous message caused tears to form. The latest had said tears roll down my cheeks.

**I miss you too, sweetheart, more than you may ever know. Prove to me how strong you are, okay? You've got this x.**

He left me a kiss. Edward left me a kiss and suddenly nothing seemed so bad anymore.

Both my parents stood by the door of the living room for a good ten minutes talking. I didn't know what they were saying, but the wild hand gestures told me that it was not a simple conversation. I had so many questions spiralling around my head that I wanted answers too, but I didn't want to write them down in fear of judgement. Clearly Renee doesn't understand my issues, and if I wrote down my words instead of saying them, who knows what she will think?

Charlie caught my attention with a wave of his hand. I slipped off my headphones so that they sat around my neck. Renee stood hesitantly a few feet behind him.

"It's time for your bath, Bells. Your mother has asked if she could help you with it. Is that something you will be okay with?"

No. No, that is not something I will be okay with. It was difficult at the start to allow Charlie to help me, let alone Renee who will no likely judge my now child-like body. Edward's words played through my head - _prove to me how strong you are. _I needed to do this for him. My bath usually takes ten minutes; that'll be enough time to prove to him.

After taking a while to think about it, I finally nodded and repeated the words '_everything is fine' _over and over in my head.

As we ascended the stairs, I listened to everything that Charlie was saying - how I rely on the strength of other people and Luna to get me from room to room. That I need help in and out the bath, but that I have found the strength to wash myself now. Most importantly, he mentioned my mental state - I knew this already, however it still came as a shock to hear him say it. "Think of it as looking after a child - Bella is essentially a child again. Forget her age; twenty-five is simply a number now."

As always, I sat on the toilet lid, waiting for the bath to fill. Charlie checked the temperature of the water and scattered a spoonful of my muscle relief bath salts. We were advised to test this out, seeing as though my arms and legs are weak, but they still cause a lot of pain. These particular salts also helped to relax your body before sleep. I am still to see a difference, but I suppose they won't work for everybody.

"So…" I peered up to look at Renee and watched as she surveyed the very cramped bathroom. "The dog comes into the bathroom and everything?"

I couldn't understand why she had such an issue with Luna. Renee loves animals, so it isn't like she is scared of dogs. Why can't she accept the fact that this is my life now?

"Yes…" Charlie also had difficulty understanding. "Luna is working at the moment. Sure, when she isn't working Bella can use the bathroom by herself, but right now she is on look-out. As long as there is space, there is no reason why Luna cannot join Bella wherever she goes."

Before Renee arrived Luna wasn't wearing her harness and only had her leash on so that I could use her to walk with, but the second that I left the kitchen I clipped that harness back on. With the confusion of my mother's arrival, I needed Luna's guard more than anything.

Once the bath was ready, Charlie left us to it, but mentioned that he would be right outside as always. I took off my socks, my top, and stood to pull down my leggings; I only needed help when they got caught at my ankles. I had to give it to my mother - she was careful and allowed me to go at my own pace when it came to stepping into the warm water. We started washing my hair first.

"I haven't done this in such a long time." She spoke softly whilst filling up the jug and pouring it delicately down the back of my head. I sat in a curled-up ball, trying to hide myself as best I could.

Renee continued to talk as she gently worked the shampoo into a lather. "My life just about ended when I heard the news report. The only information we had was that a young woman had been taken from Forks. Phil told me there was nothing to worry about, but I had a gut feeling, y'know?"

_She's still married to that guy, I see. Typical. _

"I cannot even remember what happened when your name was announced. I was numb for several days. I found myself thinking over all of our precious memories together - vacations, road trips… all of them. Pictures of your childhood were scattered about our kitchen table. I relied on Phil to complete the simplest task because I no longer could do it by myself."

_Oh, perhaps now you'll understand how I feel then. _

_Also, you were numb for several days? Charlie is still numb, and I'm sitting right in front of him. _

I so desperately wanted to tell her to 'shut up'. Her words had caused pure anger to radiate my body, and she had no idea about any of it. I wanted to ask, if she was so concerned, why she didn't phone Charlie, or make the trip out here and help with the search? She mentioned thinking about our 'precious memories together', but this is coming from the same woman who kicked me out of the house when I was thirteen? Who chose to side with her new husband than her own daughter? I'm not one for cursing, but I didn't believe a single word of her bullshit.

"Oh Bunny, you're shivering again. Would you like more hot water?"

I wasn't shivering, I was shaking. I was doing everything I could to calm myself down.

I can't do this.

I need to show how strong I am, but not like this.

My throat began to burn and the acidity of my tears worked away at my eyes.

"There we go!" She cheered once all the shampoo had been rinsed from my hair.

I thought back to when I first met Rosalie and when she helped me take a bath. Her moves were so calm and gentle, she spoke through her every movement and made sure that I was okay with what she was doing. I didn't see any of that with Renee. Not once did she ask if I was okay, or if she was allowed to do a certain thing. Rosalie hasn't even given birth yet, but already she is a better mom than mine will ever be.

"How about we have a mother-daughter pamper day!" Renee rubbed the bar of soap onto a sponge and stretched out one of my legs. She never asked if that was okay, but she did it anyway. My body was stiff, and that should have told her that I was not comfortable with the action.

Her next words broke me and tipped me over the edge.

"What if I stop off at the store tomorrow and get you a pack of razors? I'm sure you will feel ten times better to have nice, smooth legs again."

My hands slapped down into the water, which made Luna jump up to the side of the bath, barking loudly for Charlie's attention.

"Bunny?" Renee asked, with confusion clear in her voice.

"Get out." Charlie forced and all but picked Renee up from the floor. "Bella, honey, you're okay." He dropped to his knees and placed both hands over my thrashing arms. The anger inside of me was almost too much to cope with. It didn't matter that Charlie was there to soothe me, my legs kicked and my arms swung regardless.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, but the barrier wouldn't let me.

I panted and I cried.

I wanted this terrible nightmare to end.

"Look at me. Look at me."

After a few seconds of deliberating, I finally looked over at the warm, caring eyes of my father. He told me, with that look alone, that I was safe.

My thrashing stopped, and the sobbing began. As I fell into the side of the bath, Charlie caught me in his arms and Luna barked curiously.

I had taken two steps forward and one step back.

Everything was fine until she arrived.

She always made everything worse.

0-0

**November 27th, 2018  
****01:01AM.**

_"You have to believe me! Why don't you believe me?" I screamed towards my mother. She rolled her eyes at me and continued doing whatever mundane task she was completing. "Mom, please!"_

_"Oh, for goodness sake, Isabella!" She turned around to face me with a look of fury plastered all over her. "It's like looking after a damn child."_

_With a huff I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. "I'm not sure if you have realized this, but I am still a damn child!" _

_"You're thirteen."_

_"Maybe you're right - I parent you more than you parent me, anyway." That may not have been the best line I could have come up with, but I said it before the filter could stop me. _

_Renee threw down the shirt she was in the middle of folding. "You should thank me for this wonderful life. Your father wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to being a parent." _

_"I bet he could do a better job than you! And that pathetic excuse of a man you decided to marry!" _

_I hate Phil. I've always hated Phil, and the last week proved it. _

_"Well if you are so miserable then leave! Go on - pack your bags!" _

_"Maybe I will." I stormed out of her bedroom, half expecting Renee to come running after me, telling me that she was mad and didn't mean anything that she said._

_That never happened. _

0-0

I jumped awake; my heart was pounding and I was covered in a sheen of cold sweat.

Luna must have noticed my nightmare and had bounded onto the bed to see what she could do. She licked my cheeks and tried to shuffle her head underneath my arms. When none of that worked, and I continued to pant, she decided to do the number one thing that she had been taught. Bark for help. No matter what the situation may be - if I have fainted, or if I have a panic attack, Luna knows to raise the alarm in hope that someone will hear her.

Thankfully the barks were loud enough to wake Charlie up, and he came into my room still clearly half asleep. "What's happened? What's wrong?" He asked in a panic.

_I had a _"n-n-nightmare."

"Oh, honey." Like with the bath, Charlie cradled me in his arms. "You haven't had a restless night in a while…" He didn't need to ask me what my nightmare was about, or why I had had one. We both knew who had caused it.

_Where's _"…Mom?"

He sighed deeply. "She said she has a room at Mrs. Copes' B&B." I don't remember much of what had happened after the bath, but I knew that Renee hadn't stayed for long after Charlie kicked her out.

_Is she _"…coming… back?"

"I hope not, but that is for you to decide."

I needed answers, but I wasn't sure if I wanted her to return so soon. There was only one thing that I wanted at that moment.

_I want _"…Edward."

"It's one in the morning, Bells, so there is a high chance he will be asleep right now. But we can phone him if you really need to?"

I felt like I would feel a whole lot better if I heard his voice, and he did say that he would always be there for me… so it shouldn't matter about the time, right? If Edward was here, he would have woken up, so a phone call shouldn't be any different. I just hoped that he heard his phone ringing.

Charlie located my phone, and after I unlocked it and found Edward's number, he held the phone between us. We had turned the speaker on so that we both could hear what was happening. It took a while, and at first I was scared that he wasn't going to answer, but finally he did. His voice was groggy.

_"Hello?" _I had a feeling that he hadn't read the screen properly, otherwise he wouldn't have questioned who was calling.

"It's Charlie. I'm sorry for phoning so late, but we could use your help right now."

_"Shit… sorry. Is Bella there?"_

Charlie smiled down at me, telling me that it was okay for me to talk. "…Hi." I whispered, timidly. I instantly felt bad that we had woken him up. Edward was clearly fast asleep, and I shouldn't have ruined that for him.

_"Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay?" _

I shook my head, telling Charlie that I had spoken enough.

"She had a nightmare and wanted to talk to you. We hope that this is okay?"

_"Of course - I'm always available to talk, no matter what the time is. Do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about, Bella?" _

If I could talk I would have said that it was a horrible memory from the past. It was the reason why I barely spoke to Renee and also why I came to live here twelve years ago. But I couldn't say any of that, so again Charlie had to take over.

"Unfortunately she won't tell me, but from the events this evening, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with her mom."

_"I'm sorry that she has scared you, sweetheart, but you need to remember that you have your dad and Luna beside you. This dream cannot physically hurt you." _There was a pause for a second, and I heard the shuffle of bedcovers from the other end of the phone. _"One thing to remember, Bella, is that you have all the power in the world right now. Whatever you want or need, you're able to get it." _

So… did that mean that he could come back?

I just wanted a hug and a smile. I wanted Renee to return to her miserable life in Phoenix, and I wanted Edward to return here.

_I want _"…you."

_"I'm always here - you know that. If you really want me there in person, then I can be there tomorrow. Otherwise I will be with you as soon as my house is packed, okay?"_

Charlie was quick to respond. He knew the real answer anyway.

"You stay where you are, son. As long as she can talk to you, that is what matters at the moment."

_"Only if that is the best option." _

Edward continued to talk for the next fifteen minutes. He spoke about how much of the house he had packed up, and how Alice and Jasper came over to assist him this evening. Apparently his large book collection is now in a box, and his bedroom is practically bare. We ended the call when all three of us yawned at the same time, but Edward made me promise him that I would call again in the morning, or at least send him a text message to show him that everything was okay. I agreed, even though I would have messaged him regardless.

After the call was ended, Charlie stayed with me and helped soothe me back to sleep.

Thankfully Renee didn't appear in my dreams again, but my living nightmare continued during breakfast.

0-0

**07:37AM. **

I had had a night of restless sleep. I didn't have any bad dreams again, but I felt myself constantly twist and turn and doing whatever I could to get comfortable. After Charlie had returned to his room, I had Luna jump up and lie on the bed with me. She usually sleeps on the floor, but I wanted her beside me. I finally woke up just before six, and already I had a message from Edward waiting for me. He was basically saying that he hoped I had a better night after my nightmare, and that I was to let him know if there was anything else he could do for me. My reply was honest, and straight to the point. I said how scared I was to see Renee again, but I needed the answers to my questions. I didn't mention the shaving part, only because I knew it would have made him angry. It definitely had the same reaction with me.

I mean, I get that the hair on my legs is not the nicest thing to look at, but why bring it up? James didn't exactly own a beauty salon, and picking up a razor is the last thing on my mind right now. Does it really matter if I have hair on my legs or under my arms? It clearly showed that Renee cares more about your personal image than anything else.

Once Charlie had woken up, he helped me pick out a simple outfit before we all went downstairs for breakfast. I was given the option of bacon and eggs this morning, but I turned it down.

For once, I wasn't very hungry.

Instead I asked for a glass of orange juice, and drank that slowly as Charlie enjoyed his large bowl of cereal and a black coffee.

"Luna's trainer is coming at ten, right?" He asked before taking a sip.

I nodded. _What about _"…Mom?"

"Your mom will be here at eight, so let me know if you don't want her in the house."

_I want _"…answers."

Charlie sighed and thought deeply for a minute. "Okay," he finally answered. "I will allow her to come in here and give you those answers, but then she needs to go." He scratched away at his heavy stubble. "Last night was too much for you, Bells - you haven't acted like that in a long time, and I wouldn't be doing my job properly if I allowed it to continue. I never should have allowed her in, in the first place, but I've definitely learnt my lesson."

With the twenty minutes spare before Renee was supposed to arrive, I made myself busy by writing down the questions that I wanted to ask. As I completed that task, Charlie made two separate phone calls - one to Edward, and one to Angela. It was almost like he wanted back up, incase everything went wrong again. They were both on stand-by, and promised to offer their hand if it was needed.

At exactly eight o'clock, there was a knock at the door.

Charlie had his game face on, and stood with his arms folded once the front door had been opened.

"Good morning, Charlie." I couldn't see her yet, but her voice carried through into the kitchen. Mom sounded interestingly chipper this morning.

"If I had my way you would be on the next flight out of here, but Bella wanted this. If you cause a single tear to roll down my daughter's face, you're gone. Get it?"

"I'm not here to cause any harm."

_Really? Could have fooled me. _

"You have one hour, and then you're out of here."

I felt my body tense up as Renee shrugged off her winter jacket and toed off her boots. I nibbled away at my nails, mostly out of stress but I was also interested to see if Renee would say anything about that. She hates it when people bite their nails.

"Good morning, Bunny! Did you sleep well?" I said nothing, and so she continued to take a seat at the table. "Oh, what's this?" She asked as she reached over slightly to take a look at the paper that held all my questions. I slapped a hand down onto the paper, silently telling her to leave it alone.

"Bella and I were talking this morning. She has some questions to ask you which she has written down and I will ask them one by one."

"I thought Bella doesn't talk?"

_Hello, I am still here by the way!_

"No, she does talk, but only if she feels comfortable around you." Another subtle dig which flew right over Renee's head.

"Before the Q and A begins, can I please say one thing?" Mom looked at both of us in turn as she asked us for our permission.

I didn't nod or shake my head, however Charlie mumbled a response of: "If you have to…"

Renee grasped both of her hands together on the table between us. "Sweetheart," she spoke softly. "I realize how difficult everything must be for you right now - you had your life sorted and then it was ripped away, but I just want you to know that I understand. I know what it is like to start over again, and I am here to help you. If you _ever _need me for _anything _then my phone is always on, and my front door is always open."

A deafening silence covered the room after she had finished her little speech. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so I didn't respond at all. _I know what it is like to start over again - _No. What Renee knows is what it is like to go through a divorce, move to an different state, and then remarry. Never in her life has she been kidnapped, starved, beaten and raped. She doesn't understand at all, and what angered me most is that she tried to convince me otherwise.

"Right then." Charlie muttered and thankfully put an end to our silence. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Bell?"

I looped the handle of Luna's leash around my hand. The tight squeeze helped me keep my anger at bay.

I wasn't okay with this, and I hadn't been from the start, however wanting and needing are too entirely different things.

I stared down towards the floor as I nodded my head. Charlie took my sheet of paper and cleared his throat.

"In that case, question number one…"

0-0

**Okay, so you will either feel sorry for Renee, or you'll want to join me in the hunt to find her… I'll leave that up to you to decide. **

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought? **


	25. Chapter 24

**I didn't plan on adding songs or specific lyrics into this story, however the one mentioned in this chapter is an exception. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 24

**November 27th, 2018  
****Bella. **

"Question number one… where have you been?" Charlie read out the questions that I had written on a piece of paper. I found myself looking from my hands to the floor, and then back to my hands again. I didn't want to look at my mother and see the lack of concern that was probably etched over her face. It would have only angered me further.

"I was in Phoenix, Bunny - you know that."

_That doesn't answer my question._

I took the paper back from Charlie in order to add one more question in response to her bullshit. "Why didn't you help with the search?" Charlie's voice was steady. He was doing his best to keep his anger at bay.

"What help was I going to be, sweetheart? I'm not law enforcement - I don't have any special equipment to help with a search!"

This time I didn't need to write anything down, because Charlie took over and answered for me. "Searches aren't only for police, Renee. If that was the case then we wouldn't have had strangers from all over the state looking for Bella!"

"But what help was I going to be Charlie?"

_"She is your daughter!" _This roar rattled my body. "Whether you thought you were going to help or not, Bella _needed you! _She needed me!"

_Stop it._

_Stop it. _

_Please, stop shouting._

Luna pawed at my lap. My bottom lip quivered as tears began to roll down my cheeks. They continued to shout, but I paid no attention to the words. With my hands slapped over my ears, I did whatever I could to shut out their voices.

_One, two, three, four, five, six…_

"Bella?"

_Red, blue, yellow, green, brown, orange…_

"Honey, please…"

In a book that I once read, the character was dealing with anger and they were told to make mundane lists in their head - it could be anything from the countries to animals. So far it wasn't working for me.

"Bunny?"

_Shut up._

_I'm busy._

_April, May, June, July, August, September…_

I felt a hand wrap around my wrist.

It may have been Charlie, but my eyes were closed. I didn't know who it was, and the fear of the unknown crept in.

The visions returned at full force.

Victoria grabbed a hold of my wrist before I could reach for the handle of my truck…

She covered my mouth before I could scream…

A car pulled up on the side of the curb, I thought I was safe.

James jumped out from the car and before anyone could see me, he had pulled me up into the trunk…

A gun was pointed to my head…

If I made a noise, he'd put a bullet through my skull…

A scream filled the room - one so high-pitched that I could have mistaken it for a boiling kettle.

Who was screaming? James said not to make a sound…

"Bella?"

Charlie's voice was covered by the noise, but I still couldn't work out where it was coming from.

"Why is she screaming? Charlie, do something! Save her!"

"Shut up and let me think!"

I was screaming?

If I was screaming, then why couldn't I stop?

James told me not to make a noise.

If he hears me I'll have a bullet in my skull.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me. Can you open your eyes?"

No. If I open my eyes and see the inside of that trunk I'm not sure how I'll survive.

"I need you to let go of your ears, sweetheart."

I began to thrash my head from side to side. A pair of hands covered mine.

_Who is that? Who is holding onto me?_

The screaming began again.

"Renee, go into the living room and grab the headphones from the couch… _Go! Now!"_

I could just make out the sound of Renee leaving the room.

I felt the tell-tale sign of Luna pawing at my knees. I wanted her to sit on my lap but she was far too big for that now.

"I need you to open your eyes, Bella - I promise that everything is okay. You trust me, right?"

Trust… yes, I trust Charlie.

Charlie will look after me. He'll keep me safe.

I don't trust Renee, but I do trust him.

I kept my hands over my ears, and opened one eye to peer around at my surroundings before I opened another. I was in my kitchen and not in the trunk of James' car.

_But it felt so real…?_

"I've got the headphones!"

Charlie didn't say a word, instead he grabbed the headphones from her grasp and plugged them into my phone. I knew what to do from that moment onwards - I opened up my Spotify app and pressed onto the first playlist that was recommended to me. It was a playlist full of songs from several hit musicals; I thought that would have been happy enough for me to listen to. It started off with Footloose, Grease and then Hairspray - perfectly happy songs which had me tapping my feet in a good way for once. The volume was loud enough to block out any other outside noise.

The fourth song was from Matilda the Musical; I hadn't heard of the songs before, however the movie always brought me happy memories, so I didn't feel any need to skip onto the next one. The song playing was called Quiet, and within ten seconds the real meaning behind the song came through. I was too caught up to change it over, and so I listened to the entire thing regardless of whether it hurt me or not.

The lyrics hit home, and spoke to me on a whole new level.

_But I wonder if inside my head,  
__I'm not just a bit different from some of my friends…  
__These answers that come into my mind unbidden…  
__The stories delivered to me fully written…_

_And when everyone shouts - they seem to like shouting-  
__The noise in my head is incredibly loud,  
__And I just wish they'd stop, my dad and my mum  
__And the telly and stories would stop for just once. _

_And I'm sorry - I'm not quite explaining it right,  
__But the noise becomes anger and the anger is light  
__And it's burning inside me would usually fade  
__But it isn't today! And the heat and the shouting  
__And my heart is pounding, and my eyes are burning  
__And suddenly everything, everything is…_

_Quiet…  
__Like silence, but not really silent…  
__Just that still sort of quiet.  
__Like the sound of a page being turned in a book,  
__Or a pause in a walk in the woods. _

_And though the people around me,  
__Their mouths are still moving,  
__The words they are forming  
__Cannot reach me anymore!_

0-0

I moved through to the living room so that I could get covered in my blanket and allow Luna to fully lie on top of me. We had paused the question and answer session just until I had settled down long enough for my head to sort itself out again. I overheard Charlie's conversation with both Angela and Edward when he had phoned them - he wasn't sure what to do because it was a new reaction for me. Sure I had panic attacks and visions fairly often, but the screaming was a new thing entirely.

Everything had gone wrong since Renee arrived, but I wasn't sure whether to get the questions out of the way now, or have her come back at a later date. Would she even return if I let her go?

"Can I sit down?" Charlie waved to get my attention before pointing down towards the spare seat by my feet. I nodded my head - Charlie can always sit next to me; I never want him to leave. "How are you doing, Bells?"

How am I doing?

I felt more 'awake' than earlier, but I wasn't sure whether I felt any better. I was still just as confused and angry.

Instead of answering, I simply shrugged my shoulders.

"Angela said that your body is still finding coping mechanisms, so the outburst today is nothing for you to be concerned about. She is free tomorrow afternoon if you'd like her to come over and see you?"

_Yes, but what about _"…Edward?"

"Edward is sorry that he can't be here in person, but he knows that you can handle this - he believes in you."

_Is his house packed up yet? I would feel so much better if he was here. _

"Now." Charlie gave me a stern look. "You can either get these questions out of the way now, or I can tell Renee to return tomorrow? But one more outburst like that and she won't be returning again." I didn't want her to return anyway, but I knew that I would regret it if she left without a word. Whether she answered them now or answered them tomorrow, my reactions were going to be the same.

I gave it some thought before finally deciding. It was like ripping off a band-aid; get it over and done with and then the pain will be over.

Charlie heated through a bowl of soup with the hope that the food in my system may have made me feel better, and once the food was ready and I was settled, we continued the questioning. Thankfully Renee refused to say a word and sat exactly where Charlie told her to sit. She'd never understand what I was going through - not a lot of people will - but I had hope that perhaps she would get a glimpse into what my life was like now.

0-0

"Where is Phil?" Charlie read aloud.

"Phil wanted to come but you know how busy he gets. Hopefully one day soon he'll find some free time."

I refused to give a damn. I knew she was lying so there was no point in questioning her.

"Do you still believe him over me?" Clearly my question confused her, so Charlie handed me back the paper in order for me to clarify my question. "You refused to listen to a word I was saying when I was thirteen. Have you changed your mind since then?"

"Oh, Bunny!" Renee ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "That was a long time ago! Let's forget about what happened then, shall we? We need to focus on today."

"That isn't answering her question, Renee…"

"Fine. I strongly believe that you were both in the wrong that night but that you have since learnt your lesson."

_Both in the wrong. _Of course she wouldn't take my side. She never did and never will.

"Why did you make the journey now and not a day before?"

"I _told you _Bunny! What sort of help was I going to be? As soon as I heard that you were home I booked a flight."

"You didn't think to ring? One minute on the phone would have given you all the answers you were looking for." I didn't write that one down. Charlie had his own questions to ask.

"I phoned Bella hundreds of times a day, but she never answered!"

_"Her cell phone. Was destroyed." _Charlie took a minute to calm himself down. "The doesn't matter right now. You could have easily phoned the station who would have given you my number. Clearly Bella's safety was not on the top of your list."

"Oh, don't be so stupid, Charlie!"

Once again, there is a reason why their marriage never lasted.

"Bella." I looked over at Charlie - he looked tired and worn out. "That is all of your questions asked. Would you like to add anymore?"

No.

It was clear that they couldn't control their anger, and the fighting would not have been good for my head.

"Okay then…" Both of my parents stood up at the same time. Renee tried to come over to me, but Charlie was quick to put his hand out. "Your love and affection is the last thing she needs right now. You have to leave, but maybe Bella will allow you to return again before you fly home."

Funnily enough that never happened - I was better off without her. She had my new number, but I didn't expect her to use it.

0-0

**December 11th, 2018  
****Edward. **

Today was the day to say goodbye.

I had always been fond of this house, mainly for the privacy, but it was also the first house that I ever bought by myself. It felt strange to be saying goodbye, but it had to be done. I no longer felt safe here and I don't think that I ever will again. I worked around the clock for the past fifteen days straight and it was finally time to load it all into the truck. We still weren't sure what we were going to do with all of my boxes, but we'd sort that out later - as long as we made it to Forks safely, that was the main thing.

I had been discussing everything with Charlie and using his valuable knowledge about Forks real estate to help find me a new house, unfortunately luck was not on our side and available lots were not easy to come by. The only option was for me to move into Bella's old house. I had been warned that it still held all of her belongings, that I wouldn't have a lot of free space to unpack, but it was the best option until a house became available. Bella had been asked if she was okay with me staying there, and apparently she was, so we'll see what happens and whether that will change in time. We had wanted to keep my arrival a secret but Bella hadn't been coping too well since her mother's impromptu arrival, and so it was safer to tell her the truth. She knew that I was arriving later on this afternoon to collect the keys, and then it was up to her whether she wanted to come with me to the house or not.

"Have you decided what to keep here?" Carlisle walked into the kitchen where all the boxes were piled up. Because of the lack of space, we came up with an idea to keep the non-essential items at my parent's house and I can always come back to collect them when I needed to.

"Um… yeah, this pile here is staying." I waved my hand towards said pile.

"Books? You're not taking your books?"

I shrugged. "I have my favorites, but according to Bella she has her own library, so I'm sure I'll find something to read."

"Okay then… Let's go."

One by one we carried my selected boxes out from the house and into the back of the U-Haul that we had hired for the trip. I had no need to take any of my furniture, and the electrical items didn't take up too much space, so it didn't take long to complete the job. Once everything had been packed up, I took a trip around the house before locking the doors for the final time. I wasn't sure how to feel - I was sad to be leaving, but I was excited to get to Forks. Before I left I took one last look at the couch in the living room - Bella was the last person to sit there, and the difference between her then and her now really made me smile. Not only her physical strength, but her mental strength too. Sure she had many ups and downs since that day, but it was all leading forward and towards her full recovery.

Before I stepped into my car, I handed my keys over to Carlisle so that he could return to collect the rest of my belongings. It felt like one final act - one final goodbye to my dark days and my constant nightmares. Starting my life in a new area will be difficult, but I no longer feared it.

I double-checked with my parents that they had everything, we decided where to stop first, and then we were good to go. They were in the U-Haul, and I had Nora with me in the Volvo. When I left my drive way, I didn't even look back once.

As I hit the highway I really allowed my car to drive. My foot was practically to the floor and the roar of the engine was like music to my ears. Driving has always relaxed me, especially when I cannot think straight and there is too much on my mind. I'll hit the road without any destination, and by the time I returned home I had forgotten what had me worked up in the first place. We stopped off briefly to grab a coffee, use the restrooms and allow Nora the chance to stretch her legs. I don't often drink anything with caffeine after a certain time of the day, only because I knew the effect it would have on me when I tried to sleep, however I needed to concentrate. Once the coffee and donut had been consumed, we continued on for the last stretch of our journey.

Five hours after leaving Middleton we were passing the Forks welcome sign. I phoned Charlie as promised and gave him my ten minute warning. He had asked me to let him know when I was almost there; I wasn't sure why, but I assumed it had something to do with informing Bella and getting her ready for our arrival. The time was nearing four o'clock - we had made it just on time.

There wasn't a whole lot of space to park outside of the house, so Carlisle found a slot further up the road where they could leave the U-Haul for five minutes. Again the same uneasy feeling was quick to fill my stomach. I knew this was the right thing, and I was certain that everything will be fine once I have given myself the time to settle down and get used to my new surroundings, but this was all so different for me. However -despite what I was feeling - there was no way I would turn back now. I would distract myself with my work and Bella's recovery and that will be my main priority.

"Edward, I think someone is excited to see you." I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed the front door opening or the people who stood on the other side. The feeling in my stomach didn't vanish, however it was bearable. Bella's smile made it bearable.

I crossed the yard and stood at the bottom of the steps that lead to the door. I opened up my arms as an invitation for Bella to cross the threshold. I knew that I missed her, but I never realized how much I had missed her until I saw her take each step carefully and she fell into my arms.

"You're… back."

"I promised you, didn't I?"

"…Promised."

I hated how little she spoke - before now Bella had found the strength to say small sentences, but then that bitch walked into her life again and now we're right back to the beginning. I had phoned her everyday, but it used to be a one-sided conversation. I knew we would get her back to the way she used to be, but how long would that take? How long will it be before this happens again?

"Edward."

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Stay?"

I squeezed her tiny frame a little closer to me. No matter what was going on in the real world or inside her head, she always knew how to make everything better. One tiny word - one small demand - made all of my anger and frustration disappear.

"I will stay until you ask me to leave."

We continued to hug when my parents joined us and greeted Charlie. She never let me go, not even when it came to going back inside again. It was almost as if she was scared that I would disappear if I wasn't holding onto her hand. Charlie led us into the living room where he offered my parents a seat and I helped Bella get comfortable on the couch. He asked them how the journey went and that there is a B&B down the road who had space if they needed a room for a few nights.

"Thank you, Charlie." Carlisle spoke for both of them. "You've been a major help these couple days."

Charlie shrugged. "Just doin' my job. Now, you're still good to stay at Bella's place?"

"I sure am."

"Well…" He dug around into his pockets and brought out a small selection of keys on a silver ring. "These are for you." He dropped them into the palm of my hand. "I'll give you directions on how to get there, but first of all… Bella - do you want to go to your house with them, or stay here?"

With wide eyes Bella surveyed the room and every person that sat in it. "Edward." She mumbled.

I patted her hand reassuringly. "I need to go the house and drop off my stuff, but you can come with me if you want to."

"Edward." She repeated once again.

"Yes?"

"Stay." Bella's whisper was so quiet that I believed her words were only for me.

"I can't stay here, but it won't take me long." That was not the answer she was looking for. "Okay, how about I make you another promise - you know I keep my promises, right?" My answer came in the form of a tiny nod. "So, I'm going to head to your house, unload my boxes and then my parents and I will return to have dinner with you and Charlie. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"You can come with me if you want to, but I suspect that you'd prefer to stay here?"

Bella didn't want to, and that did not come as a surprise to me. We discussed what to have for dinner instead - at least that gave her something to focus on.

0-0

I knew it was going to be hard walking into Bella's house, but I never thought it would be _this hard. _Apart from the perishable items, everything else had been left exactly as Bella had left it - a small pile of shoes were sat neatly beside the door, with a selection of coats and scarves hung on the wall above. She had no idea what was going to happen on the day that she was taken, and so the house, even though it was tidy, was left in the same state as anyone would leave it before they went to work for the day.

The first door on the left led to the open-planned living room/kitchen, and as I entered it almost felt like I was trespassing. This wasn't my house, these weren't my belongings, and at first I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be in here. Bella had giving me her permission, and I was more than welcome to stay here for as long as I needed to, but it didn't feel right.

Something on the wall to the my right caught my attention as I walked around the kitchen area. I found myself staring at the object - the innocent object that caused my stomach to flip and tears to form. It was a weekly planner that Bella had filled out meticulously, detailing the ins and outs of her week. A week that she wasn't allowed to live.

_Monday - 8:30-4:30. Macaroni. Defrost chicken. _

_Tuesday - 8:30-4:30. Chicken stew. Phone bank._

_Wednesday - 8:30-4:30. Dinner with Dad - the diner. Clean bathroom. _

_Thursday - 8:30-4:30. Chilli and potatoes. Clean living room. _

_Friday - 8:30-4:30. Homemade pizzas - give one to Dad. _

_Saturday - OFF. Meal plan for next week. Wash work uniform. Garden salad for dinner._

_Sunday - OFF. Strip bed and wash sheets. Shop for the week (Charlie too). Phone Jake. Lasagne for dinner._

I wondered how much of that she had managed to complete. Did Bella ever enjoy the homemade pizzas? Or was there a defrosted chicken in the fridge when they came to clear it? Also, who is Jake? I hadn't heard his name being mentioned before, and surely he would have wanted to check up on Bella if he was a relative or a close friend? I brushed it off as nothing but made a mental note to ask Bella about him at a later date.

"Edward?" Esme's voice broke me from my surroundings.

"I'm in here!" I called out to my parents. They had taken Nora on a walk around the block, both to check out the neighborhood, and to allow Nora the chance to run around.

"Bella sure knows how to decorate." Esme found pleasure in the tiny details, like the matching plates and bowls, the themed artwork, and the color scheme. "It's almost like nothing ever happened…"

"I'm not sure if I should touch or move anything."

Esme put a caring hand on my shoulder. "It's hard to decide what we should do right now, but I suspect that Bella won't mind if a few things were moved to make space for your stuff. Just make sure you can tell her where it is when she comes back to look for it."

Esme made it sound so easy, like Bella was going to return tomorrow.

But the truth was that this stuff didn't belong to Bella anymore.

This was someone else's.

Whoever lived here before didn't exist anymore.

0-0

**Edward has returned and Renee has left… for now.**

**There will be some time jumps from now on, so we'll be moving on with the story. If you would like to see a teaser for my next story you can find it over on my Facebook group: RosieRathbone FanFiction. **

**But please let me know what you thought and I will upload the next chapter as soon as it's done! **


	26. Chapter 25

**We've skipped forward three months, so let's see the difference in our little Bella… **

Hereafter  
Chapter 25.

**February 1st, 2019  
****Bella.**

"Good morning, sunshine."

It was exactly nine o'clock and Edward had arrived to take over from Charlie. We had made this plan a few weeks ago when Charlie had to return to work - Edward will come to the house, we'll do something for a few hours, and then at one-thirty when Charlie finished his shift, Edward will log in on his laptop and get some of his own work done. I hated the idea of Charlie going back to work, but thankfully he was able to have a phased return and so he would work three to four days a week and his shifts only lasted for a few hours. Maybe when I return to work I could do the same thing? I asked them that question often, but they never give me an honest answer.

"Good morning." I smiled up at Edward and then returned to my second bowl of cereal. After Christmas, Angela got in touch with a food specialist, Heidi, to help me with my diet and how I could gain weight in a healthy manner. I now have a schedule to work by - the times stay the same, but the meals always differ. We were still working on my fear foods, however I had included some new dishes into my diet, and so I could now stomach milk and other dairy products.

Edward dropped his bag beside the kitchen table and then sat opposite me. He wore a large, proud smile on his face like he always did when he saw my progress. I had gained seven pounds since the New Year - apparently if I consume an extra thousand calories a day (or more), I will gain roughly one pound per week. So far I was doing well, however eating such a vast amount of food was difficult, and I was constantly scared that my body would reject it again. I had noticed the difference in my muscles though - I was given daily exercises to complete which had strengthened up the muscles in my arms and legs and now I could climb stairs by myself. My biggest achievement, however, was one of the top things on my bucket list.

I now have the ability to take Luna for a walk.

We can't go far, and usually I end up asking to go back once we've passed two houses, but it is still an achievement and I still can't believe that I can do it.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good." I took a spoonful of cereal, chewed it and then swallowed it. "Do you… feel better?" Edward had been suffering with a serious case of man flu, but his eyes looked brighter today, so I hoped that meant that he felt better.

He shrugged. "I'm still slightly congested, but the worst of it is over." Edward stood from the table, probably to make himself a coffee. "Would you like some fruit now, or would you rather wait until after the walk?"

My daily meals do change, but I am allowed to eat fruit as much as I want. Heidi would like me to introduce toast into my snacks, but she is okay with my sticking with fruit for now. "After." I replied quietly.

Two months ago I was diagnosed with something called 'Selective Mutism'. I know how to talk, but on most occasions I chose not to. Charlie, Edward and Angela had their suspicions that this is what I have, so they weren't surprised when the diagnosis came back. A basic way of describing the phobia is:

_"The ability to talk at home with family, but not in public or social situations, including school, university, with colleagues or strangers - anywhere or anyone who isn't in their safety zone." _

I remember asking Angela about my speech and whether I'd ever be able to speak full sentences again, or even hold a proper conversation with someone. She couldn't give me a definite answer. She was completely honest with me when she said that my phobia, and the mental block I have when it comes to words, may stick with me for the rest of my life. That made me cry, and ironically enough I stopped talking all together for several days following. She said that the area of the brain which controls fear is the amygdala, and that it is the same part which also controls your emotions. Your fight or flight response fires up when you witness something that scares you, and my response is to stop talking all together. Perhaps in time I will learn to get over it, but we'll just need to wait and see.

My musings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps as Charlie made his way into the kitchen dressed in his uniform. He and Edward shared 'good morning's as he filled up his coffee flask and then gave me a kiss on the head.

"I'll be home by one-thirty, okay?" Even though he came home at the same time every day, I always needed to be told. "Have a good day, and I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you."

The usual uneasy feeling appeared and it wouldn't leave until Charlie returned home.

"So," Edward started once the cruiser had driven away. "I have a plan for today… What if we took a trip down to the bookstore and you can see your old work friends?"

Along with the short walks I had started to leave the house every so often, but it was never anything major. Once we simply drove to Thriftway, walked into the supermarket, and then drove home again. The residents of Forks no longer gave me any bother or made a big deal whenever they saw me, instead they would offer me a smile, asked how I was doing, and then left us to it. I was still to visit my old house and, until today, I hadn't been to the bookstore. I longed to go there, so perhaps today was the day.

"When?"

"Well, I think it would be best we did this instead of your walk - you'll be on your feet for the same amount of time and so I don't want to tire you out. So we can go after breakfast if you'd like to?"

I took a minute to think over every tiny detail. How busy will the place be? Who will be working there? What if they have hired new members of the team? What if there wasn't a place to park outside the store and we had to walk a long distance? It wasn't a simple case of deciding whether or not I wanted to go somewhere - I had to dissect every little piece and ask myself all the questions that came along with it.

"What if I…" _need to _"…go home?"

Edward and Charlie were now experts at translating my broken sentences. I don't know how they do it, to be honest. "If we arrive and you find that it's too much we will head straight back home. You don't have to do this, Bella, however I think it might be beneficial for you."

"Luna?"

"Luna will be with you the entire time. She will have her harness on and it will be training for her, too." Apart from driving to the supermarket, Luna hadn't been in a public place with me before, and so it will be a new thing for both of us. I keep forgetting that she is allowed to go with me anywhere. We don't allow dogs into the store and so I think it will be strange to walk in there with one.

"Bella," I caught Edward's gaze. "Would you feel better if I rang them and announced your arrival? Maybe then they won't overreact and could perhaps empty the store for us coming?"

Yes, yes I would much prefer that.

I had barely nodded my head before Edward had his phone in his hand. "What is the manager called again?"

"Gloria." I couldn't help but smile at the name. Gloria had always been so lovely to me and I missed her warm hugs.

My feet tapped against the floor in anticipation. The phone rang and Edward had it on speaker so that I could also hear the conversation. A lady answered the phone, I didn't recognize her voice. Edward asked if he could speak to Gloria, and thirty seconds later the sweetest of voices filled the room.

_"Good morning, this is Gloria."_

"Hi there, my name is Edward Cullen; I am phoning on behalf of Bella Swan. I was just wondering whether it would be possible for her to come down and see you at some point today?"

Gloria gasped from the other side of the line. When she spoke again you could hear the pure emotion in her voice. _"My sweet Bella… Absolutely, please, please bring her down to see me." _

My own tears became present in my eyes. I wish I could work there again.

"I thought you would say that. Bella is still very much in recovery and so there is a high chance that she may not manage the trip, however I wanted to inform you first."

_"Of course - whatever she needs. I have been dying to drop by the house, but I didn't want to cause any unnecessary stress." _

"Thank you, Gloria. We'll aim to leave the house within the next hour if that is okay with you?"

_"That sounds perfect. I'll be looking forward to seeing you both." _

I took a minute to sit in silence after the call had ended. It meant so much to me that Gloria had wanted to visit and I wondered whether I would have reacted negatively before now. There was no way of knowing, and even now, despite how excited I am to see everyone again, who knows what will happen when I get into the car?

Edward joined me in the living room. He placed a glass of water down onto the table and dropped half of a white pill into the palm of my hand. "I'll give you half the dosage now, and then you can take the other half when we get home, okay?"

I agreed and swallowed back the pill.

I wasn't keen on the medication when my doctor first prescribed me with it - the side effects messed with my body and my head, and they gave me a seriously upset stomach for the first couple of weeks. Now that I am used to them, I can see the negative side effects in my head when I miss a dosage. I was prescribed Sertraline - an antidepressant which is meant to increase the serotonin in your brain and it helps fight off anxiety disorders. When I take my full dosage I become very drowsy, hence the reason why Edward only gave me half just now. I usually take a nap at midday anyway, so it works out perfectly.

I listened to some music as Edward let Luna out into the backyard to use the bathroom. As my music played I went through my daily muscle exercises; most of it I can do from the couch, but I needed Edward's help with the squats. I stretched out one leg in front of me and proceeded to bend it at the knee and brought my leg as close to my chest as I could get it. I repeated that same action five times before changing it over to my other leg. Once my legs were done I went on to do some shoulder rolls, and then one-by-one I would stretch my arms across my chest and hold them there for a few seconds.

"Time for the squats?" Edward automatically held out his hands to help me up from the couch. I had the ability to stand and sit by myself, but they were so used to helping that they almost forgot I didn't need it anymore.

We stood a good distance apart from each other so that our arms were fully stretched out in front of us but I could still hold onto his hands. Once I was ready I would squat down as far as my body allowed me to, and then using Edward as an aid, I would bring myself back up again. Like with the legs, I would repeat that action five times. My muscles always felt shaky after those exercises, but I took that as a good sign - my body was getting stronger.

Edward didn't ask me whether I was okay with leaving the house and instead went straight into clipping on Luna's harness. The more I question an action the more likely it is that I would back out of it, so it's always best to go ahead with the operation unless I say otherwise. I still have issues trusting people's words, however I now know that Edward and Charlie wouldn't want to hurt me, and so if they said something will be okay I usually believed them.

Like with any trip, no matter how far we're going, Edward packed a bag with a few essential items just incase an issue arises. These included: a bottle of water, some sort of high calorie snack, my headphones, my medication, a pad of paper and pen, and a first aid kit. The kit is for an emergency - if I lost my balance, or if I had a panic attack and fainted, it was best to have a kit there incase I needed one. Along with those items he also packed some things for Luna. Service dogs are trained not to go to the bathroom unless they are at home or I say otherwise, however Luna is still a puppy and if she needs to go, she needs to go.

"You must be excited to see Gloria again, right?" Edward asked once we were all strapped into the car.

"Yeah."

It didn't matter how excited I was - the panic never vanished and it only seemed to get worse as we got closer and closer to our destination.

"Now, just while it's only you and me in the car, is there anything you are wanting to say to Gloria, or ask her? I'll be more than happy to do the talking for you."

There was so much that I wanted to ask her, and so much that I wanted to say. I wasn't even sure whether I could manage to tell Edward everything that was going on inside my head.

"Tell her… I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" He laughed and switched on his blinker. "What are you sorry about?" Once the coast was clear, Edward pulled the car over in one swift movement and found a place to park up against the curb.

"Sorry for… leaving."

"Oh, love." He reached for my hand and gave it a light squeeze. "You have such a big heart."

_Yeah, maybe if I didn't have such a big heart I wouldn't be in this situation and I wouldn't have offered my help to Victoria. _

I chose to ignore that statement.

"Ask her… if she… is okay."

"I can do that. Anything else?"

No.

Well, I had more questions floating around, however the barrier had appeared.

Edward must have caught onto that, because once we were out of the car he called out Luna's commands to save me from doing so myself.

"Side…" She shuffled around and found her spot beside me. "Good girl. Walk."

My hands were sweating, my heart was pounding and my legs felt like jelly. One hand held Luna's leash and Edward held the other. I wanted to do this, I wanted to go inside, but I didn't at the same time. Everything will be okay once we walk through that door… but until that happens every fear made itself known to me.

_I'm okay, I'm okay; everything is fine. _

We reached the shop but I refused to look inside.

"Are you okay?"

My response was an odd mix between a shake and a nod.

"Would you like me to go in before you?"

"Stay." I whispered so that only Edward could hear me.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. I won't let go of you until we get back to the car."

After standing there for a minute, I finally found the courage to go inside. Edward stuck to his promise and went before me, but he never let go of my hand. Luna stood beside me the entire time. A chime of a bell rang as the door was opened fully - it appeared so loud in my ears that it was almost like when a siren raced past you. There were so many new noises to deal with. How the hell was I going to cope when I return to work?

"Hey, how can I help you?" The high-pitched voice of the cashier made me wince my eyes shut. She was the one who had answered the call originally when Edward phoned. I didn't recognize her so she must have been new. Maybe she was hired to take my place? Did that mean that I didn't have a place here anymore? But… I want to come back…

"We're here to see Gloria?" Edward let go of my hand briefly in order to put his full arm around my shoulders. He must have felt my shaking.

Luna also picked up on my sudden change.

I want to go home.

"Oh, you're the guy who I spoke to earlier! Sure, I'll just get her for you." She sounded far too excited for my liking. I already hated her for taking my job.

"Hey, let's go and stand over here where it is quieter." I allowed Edward to lead me over to another part of the store away from the windows and the few customers who were in here. "You are doing so well!" He whispered.

If only he knew what was really going on inside.

I think this was a mistake.

"Bella?"

The sound of Gloria's caring voice made me want to cry. I wanted to see her so badly, but I couldn't work out why she had replaced me. Sure I can't work right now, but it won't be too long, will it? We have enough staff to cover for me. They didn't need to bring in that high-pitched lady.

I stole a look at Gloria - she looked just the same as she always did, however her eyes were brimming with fresh tears. In the years that I had worked here I never once saw her cry.

"Thank you for bringing my girl back to me." She patted Edward's shoulder and then turned her gaze back towards me. "I have been looking forward to this day for so many months."

Instead of using my words, I had Gloria follow my finger as I pointed down to the new patch that had been attached to Luna's harness. It was another awareness patch, just incase I was alone and needed medical assistance.

_SELECTIVE MUTISM: I may not be able to speak but I can hear and understand you. _

"Okay my sweetheart. I don't need you to say anything - just seeing your beautiful face is enough for me."

Edward took over as my voice. He always knew what to say.

"Her father and I are so proud with how far Bella has come these last few months, and coming here today means so much to all of us. She speaks so highly of yourself and her job." He gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Before we came here today I asked Bella if there was anything that she would like to say to you, and first off she would like to ask how you are?"

Gloria let out a laugh. "Of course she would put others before herself. But to answer your question, I am doing just fine. I had many sleepless nights, but to see you standing here before me makes everything better."

I found enough courage to look up at Gloria, pass her a smile and then focused back on the floor again.

"She would also like to apologize for leaving."

I watched her feet as she altered her stance.

"Now, let me tell you something, my sweetheart." I stole another look, and this time I watched her eyes as she completed her sentence. "I had a feeling that something was wrong when you didn't turn up for work that morning; it was so out of character for you, and so I left the store to go and see if I could help. I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I was the one who raised the alarm and phoned your father for help, and not once was I angry or disappointed in you. You have absolutely no reason to apologize, but I just want you to promise me that you will look after yourself and take all the time you need."

She was right - I didn't know she had phoned Charlie when I disappeared. She could have gotten into a lot of trouble for leaving the store during opening hours, but she had risked all of that for me? Why would she do that?

"Thank you so much for your help." Edward replied for me. "Bella, is there anything else you would like to say or ask?"

There was one question that I wanted to ask. I wasn't sure whether it was worth it or not, however I didn't see any problem in trying. With one hand I acted out the universal sign for writing and without a word Edward slipped the bag off of his back to locate the pen and paper. I quickly scribbled down my question.

_Can my dog stay with me when I come back to work?_

Gloria didn't answer me straight away. She shared a look with Edward, however I couldn't work out what it meant. With a sigh she said: "I'm sure your dog will be a wonderful member of the team. I'll let Charlie decide what is best when it comes to you returning."

I didn't like the sound of that. It was almost like she was telling me what I wanted to hear, instead of telling me the truth. Does that mean that I can't come back? I'm not well enough to do my job again? I understand that the speaking will be a big problem, but I could stack shelves!

I really want to go home now.

I didn't pay them any attention as Edward said goodbye and promised Gloria that we will return again at some point. I refused to offer any more smiles or accept the hug that she wanted to give me. I just wanted to go home and sulk in peace.

Of course leaving was not as easy as that. The annoying lady from before grabbed Edward's attention as we made our way towards the door.

"Are you new to the town? I haven't seen you around here before."

I wanted to tell her that it didn't matter if Edward was new or not. He was here for me and no-one else.

Unfortunately Edward is too polite to ignore someone when they ask him a question.

"Er, yeah; I moved here a few months ago." We continued to walk which should have given her the hint that he wasn't interested in talking, however this lady was clearly too stupid to realize that.

"Awesome! Well my name is Lauren - here is my number if you ever want me to show you around."

"Thanks Lauren, but I'm pretty busy right now."

That upset me more than I thought it would. It should have pleased me that Edward didn't want to waste his time with her, but the fact that he said he was 'too busy' made me feel like a burden. I don't blame Lauren for trying - he is a sweet, attractive guy - but I'd never be lucky enough to have any sort of relationship. I was stopping Edward from finding all of that or starting his life with someone. All because I couldn't be left alone for five minutes…

I remained quiet for the entire journey home, not once acknowledging his words.

It was almost eleven o'clock by the time we got home which meant that it was time for my first proper snack. I made myself comfy on the couch and located my headphones from inside the bag. I didn't want to be angry at Edward, however I couldn't control how I felt. Perhaps going to the store was too much for me - I clearly was not ready for something as major as that.

As the music played through the headphones, I allowed my eyes to close to completely submerge myself into the zen that Einaudi brought with beautiful, calming piano playing. I don't know how long I sat like that for, but when I opened my eyes I noticed the small plate of food that Edward had made up for me. It consisted of some strawberries and chocolate chip cookies. I don't know whether it was Edward's sweet gesture or the emotional music that had caused me to cry, but as soon as the tears started I couldn't stop them.

I felt so selfish for holding Edward back.

I felt so worthless.

But most of all I felt so scared. What was going to happen to me? How was I supposed to live a life like this?

How is anyone supposed to live a valued life when they need to spend all of their time looking after me? Edward can't even work properly just incase I need him for something.

I can't get a job, I can't provide a solid income, and I can't even hold a damn conversation. What use am I to anyone?

I'm nothing anymore.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Edward rounding the couch and taking a seat on the edge of the table. His face was full of concern and he was saying something to me but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I slipped off my headphones and let them rest around my neck.

"Why are you crying, Bella? Can you tell me what has happened?"

"I'm… fine."

"No, you're not fine. Please tell me what is wrong."

I wondered how he would feel if I told him the real reason; if I told him exactly what I had just been thinking. I wondered whether or not he would judge me for being jealous of that stupid bitch Lauren. Jealous that she found talking so easy, that she effortlessly handed over her number and flirted without a care in the world.

"I'm tired." It wasn't a complete lie. I was tired - sick and tired of these negative, depressed thoughts that cloud my brain twenty-four-seven. I am tired of feeling like this.

"What happened at the store today?" I refused to answer. "Bella, I am so sorry if that was too much for you; I honestly thought that you would enjoy seeing your work friends again. I should have thought it over properly. I'm sorry."

"I…" No, no I couldn't say that.

"Yes? What were you going to say?"

_I don't belong there anymore. - _That is what I was going to say.

Instead I acted as though everything was fine. "I… liked it." I liked seeing Gloria, but that was about it.

I don't think Edward believed me, because he was quick to change the subject. He asked me to eat some of my snack and then he would give me the second half of my pill. As I ate the food and swallowed back my pill, Edward brought out a pillow and blanket in order for me to get comfy and fall asleep. Luna curled herself up on the floor beneath me, and once the yawning had begun, I settled myself down to sleep.

Edward tucked the blanket around me and whispered soothing words as he brushed back my hair. "I'm so proud of you. This morning was difficult, but you managed it. You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it." He finished it off with a kiss on my forehead.

I wondered whether he saw the smile that it caused.

0-0

I woke up to the sound of Charlie coming home from work.

I still felt off, but I definitely felt better than before.

Edward had made himself comfy on one of the other chairs, his laptop was balanced on his lap.

"How you doin', kiddo?" Charlie brushed my hair like he used to do when I was a child. He fell back against the couch with a loud sigh - it must have been a hard day for him too.

"Bella and I went on a trip today." Edward smiled over at me.

"Oh yeah? Where did you go?"

"Work." I mumbled as my teeth nibbled on my bottom lip. I had to be careful - this new habit had caused them to bleed over the last few days. "To see… Gloria."

"Amazing!" Charlie patted my leg. "Well done."

Edward took that moment to get my lunch sorted before he would shut himself away in the kitchen and work for the next few hours. I was having a pasta salad today; it was my new favorite meal and I always looked forward to the selected days when I could have it. I hadn't planned what I was going to do for the rest of the day, but I had recently started reading a new book, so maybe I'd continue reading that. Or maybe watch a movie… a movie sounds like fun. I also need to reply to the text message from Rosalie - she had sent me one this morning which I had completely forgotten about.

She had given birth to her baby girl a week before Christmas, and as much as she loves being a mother and looking after her daughter, I could tell that she misses working. I think she planned to return soon, but Emmett made enough money to support them both.

They had named their daughter Daisy-Rae, but for now she just gets called Daisy. I have seen a lot of pictures of her, and Edward sent me pictures when he went home for Christmas, but I was still to meet Daisy in person. I couldn't wait to meet her.

At that moment Edward brought through my bowl of pasta salad, and he was just about to return to the kitchen when Charlie stopped him. "I received a phone call today which you may be interested to hear about…"

_Oh dear… I don't like the sound of this._

"Is it… something bad?" Edward asked. He obviously felt the same way I did.

"Not necessarily - I suppose it depends on how you see it." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "James has pleaded guilty."

I should have known it was about him.

Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Well that's… that's great, right?"

"It definitely makes our job easier, however we now need to convince the judge to give James the maximum sentence."

_Convince the judge to give him a maximum sentence… _

Why do we need to convince someone? Surely he deserves it regardless because of his crimes?

"Okay, so what does that entail?"

"Basically, whenever the sentencing happens, the three of us need to stand before the judge and give him a sob story."

"And what about James? Will he be a witness to this?" Edward asked warily.

I slapped my hands over my ears and closed my eyes.

I refused to listen to the answer. The answer that I knew was coming.

I need to face him again, but this time I will come out as the victor.

0-0

**So… Bella's getting jealous? **

**Fun fact - when I was first diagnosed with anxiety I was on 100mg of sertraline and a maximum of 120mg of propranolol every day, however the side effects that Bella mentioned is what I dealt with - the sertraline did not sit well with me. Now I just take the propranolol. Of course Bella wouldn't take 100mg of it a day simply because of her body weight, so I didn't include the dosage mainly because I am not a doctor and I didn't want to get it wrong. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to know what you thought. Thank you for reading! **


	27. Chapter 26

**Warning: this chapter holds descriptions which you may be sensitive to. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 26.

**April 3rd, 2019.  
****Edward.**

I was definitely not ready to wake up when my alarm broke me from my peaceful sleep.

It was eight-thirty, and for the first time in a long time I had finally enjoyed a full night's sleep. One that didn't involve waking up every hour, or constant twists and turns. I hadn't even stepped out of bed and I was already looking forward to returning. It was going to be a long day for us all. Charlie wasn't working until much later which meant that I didn't need to be at the house for nine, but it was my turn to do the grocery shopping, and I had to complete that before our visitor arrived at eleven. We had made a plan of who would look out for Bella and at which time, but the grocery shopping was another major issue. To make it easier for everyone we had made a schedule to take in turns - we would shop twice a week and buy enough food for both households. I had my list planned out which included some of Bella's 'special additions' - she wanted me to buy her some Ben and Jerry's ice cream and Swedish Fish. Who are we to keep that from her?

Once I had showered and eaten breakfast I set off to the store.

Thankfully Thriftway wasn't overly busy, so I had no issue working my way around the store ticking everything off of my list as I went. Because of Bella's food plan we didn't need to plan out any meals, or decide on the spot, however some of the stuff was seriously hard to find. For example, how often do you walk around a store and see açai berries sat on the shelf? I swear some of this stuff doesn't exist. Or if it does then it costs a ridiculous amount of money online.

_Oh, never mind - found them!_

I had to substitute a few things - meats, for example - but everything else was there, and half an hour after entering the store, I was leaving with a full cart. It was just after ten o'clock, and so I had plenty of time to get to the house, sort out the groceries, and prepare myself mentally for our arrival.

Bella's lawyer was arriving for the first official visit. He had spoken to Charlie briefly over the phone, however today we needed to meet him in person to discuss everything that would happen during the court sentencing. We would discuss what each of us had to say, but mainly what Bella had to say… or, attempt to say. Jason Jenks knew about her struggles and issues, and apparently he had come up with a few options on how to tackle that hurdle. He had been speaking to Angela to get her advice on everything, so we were all interested to hear the ideas.

I made my way into the house and barely had the door closed before Luna bounded over to greet me. She had grown so much recently, but apparently she won't stop growing until she reaches 18 months. No one would be stupid enough to mess with Bella if she has Luna beside her, that is for sure.

"Hey, girl." I gave her ears a good scratch. "C'mon then." As I went towards the kitchen, Luna followed me step-by-step. The kitchen was empty, so I assumed that Charlie and Bella were either upstairs or in the living room. I watched as Luna sniffed around at the back door before sitting back on her hind legs and made soft mewing noises. "Do you need to go?" It was almost like I had expected her to answer me. Surprisingly enough I never received an answer, so I unlocked the door and watched in amusement as she bolted into the back yard.

"Hi Edward." The softest, sweetest voice came from the door to the kitchen. Bella held onto the wall for support and sent me over a smile. She seemed to be in an a good mood, so I prayed to God that it would stay that way. Bella had had her fair share of bad days recently, so she deserved a good one.

"Morning, sweetheart."

On frail legs Bella made her way over to a chair and lowered herself down onto it. "How… are you?"

"I'm alright, but look!" I searched through the various grocery bags before I found the additions that she had asked me for. "Ben and Jerry had a sale on today." She hadn't asked me for any specific flavors, so I chose the two that I thought were a safe option - Phish Food and Cookie Dough. Heidi wanted Bella to focus on highly nutritious foods that held all the fibre and vitamins her body needed, however one day a week she was given almost a 'cheat day' and she could eat whatever her body asked for.

"Thank you." Her smile was sincere - for once she wasn't hiding the real pain.

"You're more than welcome." I finished packing away the food items, let Luna back into the house and then helped myself to a cup of coffee. "Can I get you a hot drink?" I asked, holding the kettle up with one hand.

"I've had… tea already."

"No problem, sweetheart."

When Bella had been diagnosed with selective mutism we were told that, although her throat may have hurt to begin with, it should no longer cause her any pain when she talks. Angela has a feeling that it is more of a phantom pain, and so it was recommended that she had at least one hot drink every day. Herbal teas were advised because of their power to soothe aching throats, and the hope is that in time Bella's mind will allow her to feel like the pain is subsiding and will one day disappear all together. If that doesn't work then hopefully she will learn to live with the feeling. Amputees are known to have phantom pains in the limbs that they have lost, and after some time they either get used to it, or the feeling vanishes, so we will just have to wait and see what happens in the future.

"Edward."

"Yeah?" I took the seat opposite her.

"I'm… about today."

This sentence was easier than some of the others that we had to decode on a daily basis. Knowing what was happening, Bella was trying to tell me that she was scared, nervous, perhaps even anxious about today. It was definitely a negative thought, and so I went with that idea and ran with it.

"You know that nothing bad is going to happen, right?" Her teeth nibbled away at her bottom lip. "What can I do to make it better?"

"…Away."

"Take it away?" I guessed, to which she nodded. "Do you not want Mr. Jenks to come here?" The time was nearing eleven o'clock, which unfortunately meant that there wasn't much I could do with such little time to spare.

"How about this." I said, after giving the situation some thought. "This evening, once Charlie has gone to work, we'll do something fun - I'll leave that entirely up to you, but I want you to pick something that will make you happy and make you smile. Then, when Mr. Jenks is here, you can think about the fun evening we'll have and focus on nothing apart from that."

"Like… what?" She let go of her lip which meant that my plan was working. It was working for now, at least.

"Whatever you want. We could order in a pizza and watch a movie perhaps?"

After a short minute Bella finally agreed and I made her promise that she will decide upon something. I wondered what that decision may be. I wondered what the old Bella enjoyed doing, or how the old Bella spent her evenings when she needed cheering up.

Shortly after eleven the doorbell rang to signal Jason's arrival. Charlie greeted him at the door and brought him through to the living room. I stood and shook his hand formally, however Bella refused to look in his direction. Once Jason had taken his seat he proceeded to bring out a pile of papers and an iPad which he sat on the table between us. There was a tense atmosphere circling the room - none of us knew how Bella wold react or what Jason was going to discuss.

Once everything had been placed on the table, Jason causally sat forward in his seat and crossed his arms over his front. "Bella," his voice was level and calming. "I have a few techniques that I would like you to try later, but for now you have absolutely no reason to talk. Any answers can be written down on paper, okay?"

I wanted to thank him for being so kind and considerate towards Bella. I knew that he was on our side and he would do his best to make sure that we won our case, but that didn't mean that he had to be understanding. His job is to win the trial, and that could become very difficult if Bella refused to cooperate.

"First off I need to make sure that we all understand what is happening and what will happen in the future." Neither Charlie nor I said a word and allowed Jason to continue with his job. With the tip of a finger he searched through his pile of papers until he found what he was after, and then handed a single sheet over to each of us. They were duplicated so we each had the same thing. "I'll give you a second to read that over."

The paper held the formalities of the case - James's full name and date of birth, along with Bella's and 'Victoria's - her real name was Cara Jennings. Thankfully Bella had the courage to pass that information over to the cops, otherwise Cara's parents may not have found out what had happened to their daughter. The paper also had the important dates, addresses and what James will be trialed for.

Before Jason began talking again I asked Bella if she wanted to look at the paper herself, but she refused the offer.

"Does all of that make sense?" Jason asked, to which we nodded. "Perfect. Now, because James has pleaded guilty it means that we don't need to go through a jury trial and we will head straight into the sentencing. It could be that James made a plea deal, which may have lowered his sentence, so our job is to make sure that the judge gives him the maximum punishment."

"I have a question." Charlie raised a hand like we were back in school again. "What are the laws in Oregon when it comes to the death penalty? Personally I feel that that is the only punishment this asshole deserves."

_Here, here._

"Capital punishment is a legal penalty in Oregon, however the crimes committed do not meet the requirements. That is exactly why we need to make sure he receives the maximum years."

"What are the maximum years?" I found myself asking that question without even thinking.

"We'll get to that in a second." Jason smirked. "We have to go into that room understanding everything. So, if you can look at the papers it mentions what he is being held for. Offences vary between first and second-degree, which you need to thoroughly understand. This may not be easy to listen to…" Neither of us had to say a word - Bella happily slipped on her headphones to block everything out.

Jason then went into describing every crime committed and their full explanations.

"Kidnapping in the first-degree - when the accused takes a person without that person's permission from one place to another or secretly confines that person. The person does this in order to: obtain a ransom; use the victim as a hostage; cause physical injury; to terrorise the victim; to rape, sodomise, or sexually penetrate the victim."

_Yep, Bella really does not want to hear this. _

"Rape in the first-degree - a person commits the crime of rape in the first degree when the accused had sexual intercourse with another person and the victim was forced to comply."

I couldn't look anywhere apart from at the floor beneath my feet. It was some of the worst stuff I have ever heard in my life, and to think that Bella experienced it all made me feel physically sick and so painfully sad.

"Assault in the first-degree - when a person intentionally causes serious physical injury to another by means of a deadly or dangerous weapon. James will also be held on one count of first-degree intentional murder but I don't feel like I need to explain that one to you." I wished that he didn't have to explain any of it. I could understand why he needed to do so, however the descriptions were enough to make any person vomit.

Once the coast was clear, Bella was asked to remove her headphones in order for her to listen to the maximum years that James could serve. Our hope was that it would make her feel better mentally if she knew how long he would be behind bars for. I caught Charlie giving his daughter's hand a tight squeeze. God, I hope she's okay.

"All of the crimes are Class A felonies, however the judge will need to take into consideration the detrimental effects of the victims - both physically and mentally - along with the severity of his actions. From the evidence that we can give the judge, our hope is that he will decide upon fifty years for the two counts of kidnapping, a minimum of twenty-five years for rape, anywhere between ten and thirty-two years for assault, and a minimum of thirty years for murder."

I had hoped that the death penalty could have been an option, however they were some big numbers, and I suppose he would have a miserable time in prison for that amount of time. Perhaps other men in the prison will find him attractive and give him a taste of his own medicine. I wouldn't wish rape on anyone, but I hoped that James had an interesting experience in the showers. After all - what goes around comes around.

"This is a rough estimate, however he is looking at somewhere along the lines of one-hundred-and-twenty years without the possibility of parole… as long as we play our cards right."

"This is where we come in?" I asked.

"Exactly. The three of you, as well as Cara Jenning's parents, all need to make victim impact statements. I want you to think about the harrowing side effects; how James has taken any sense of security and independence away from you all. You need to make the judge see that James is a cold-blooded criminal and no-one will be safe unless he is incarcerated for life."

Charlie sighed and scratched away at his moustache. "I mean no disrespect here, but I need to think about the well-being of my daughter and there is no way she can stand in front of that asshole and talk. No way at all. She can't even talk to you, let alone _him._"

Jason flipped over the cover of his iPad and unlocked the device by using a fingertip. "I understand the frustration which is why I have an idea. Bella," he handed the iPad over to her. She accepted it gingerly. "If I asked you to read this sentence out loud, would you be able to?"

I watched how her eyes travelled from left to right as she read over the words in front of her. After a short pause Bella shook her head and left it at that. Nothing was going to make her talk.

"Okay. There is a technique Angela would like you to try - it is known for helping speech impediments so I would be interested to see whether or not it has the same effect on you." He then asked Bella to put her headphones on. "When you are ready I want you to press play on the first song that comes up and have another go at reading that sentence." It was a Dr. Seuss quote. I wasn't sure whether Angela had picked it or not, but either way it must have been chosen due to the rhyming words and the way it all sounded.

You could have heard a pin drop in that room - even Luna knew not to make a noise as we all waited in anticipation to see whether or not Bella was going to talk.

After what felt like ten minutes, Bella slowly began to read aloud the quote.

_"The more…that… you read… th-the more… things… you… will know… The… more that… you learn… The… more… places… you'll go…"_

I tried not to seem too overexcited, however I couldn't stop myself from giving her a hug and whispering how proud I was. Charlie copied my moves and that was when I noticed that he, too, had tears in his eyes. It wasn't like we hadn't heard Bella speak, and it was clear that there's still a long way to go, however she had managed to do it in front of stranger which, in my opinion, is the biggest accomplishment.

"I think we've found ourselves a solution." Jason smirked. "The judge won't allow anyone else to talk for you, but if we can explain the circumstances then I am sure they'll allow you to put your headphones on."

"And that's it? That's all we need to do?" It surprised me that Charlie found the need to ask these questions - I thought he would have known how the system works. I suppose it all changes when it becomes so personal.

"Things may change on the day, but if you write out the statement and rehearse it over and over, I don't see why that shouldn't be an issue."

We didn't have a court date, so there was no way of knowing how long we had to help Bella rehearse. All I could do was pray that we had enough time.

0-0

I could tell that there was a slight difference in Bella after Jason had left. It was clear that all the combined information had been too much for her to handle, especially the idea of speaking in front of a large crowd and James himself. The reason she stopped talking in the first place is because of him and the pain he would inflict, so I didn't have high hopes. Personally I was impressed with how Jason handled everything - Charlie was paying good money to have him on our side, and so at least the money wasn't going to waste.

We spent majority of the afternoon chilling in the living room, taking Luna on a walk and, in my case, catching up on any unread emails. Charlie started work at six o'clock and wasn't supposed to finish until eleven, which meant that I was in charge of making dinner and essentially 'babysitting' Bella until he returned home. She still held a schedule when it came to going to bed and so on, but it wasn't as strict anymore. Bella pretty much listened to her body now - if she was tired at eight o'clock then she'll go to bed, otherwise she'll stay up until her body told her otherwise.

I had asked her whether or not she wanted to do something fun this evening, and to my surprise she did. Apparently Bella used to love going to Sully's Burgers, and although she can no longer enjoy the burgers, she can enjoy their chicken strips. Charlie kindly left for work slightly earlier in order to collect our dinner and he even surprised us with a couple of milkshakes to wash everything down with. Bella was like a kid in a candy shop when she viewed all of the food in front of us.

"Is this what you were after?" I asked as I folded a salty fry into my mouth.

Bella's mouth was so full with food that she couldn't even word out an answer. I'm not entirely sure, however I do believe this is the first fast food she has had in over a year. Next month it will be a year since the kidnapping happened, so I wondered how Bella would react to that and whether or not we'd see another set-back on the day.

At one point I even had to remind her to take a breather in between mouthfuls. Charlie had bought her a kid's meal, but at this rate I think she could have handled an adult's size.

"What are we doing after this then?"

Bella stopped drinking her milkshake for two seconds in order to answer. "Movie?"

"Sure! Any one in particular?" Her answer and cooperation really made me smile. After our meeting with Jason our evening could have been completely different.

"Um… comedy?"

"You know me far too well."

We continued our meal in peace, and for the first time I even forgot how vulnerable she was; it just felt like two people having a lovely dinner together. Once everything had been cleared up we made ourselves comfy on the couch and found a movie to watch. I let Bella pick the movie, and once again she completely surprised me. It turned out that Bella meant a romantic comedy instead of an actual comedy, and so I was slightly taken back when she chose 'The Holiday'. I can't say that I had ever seen that film before, however I knew that it was one of Alice's favorites to watch at Christmas. I recognized all of the actors, so that was a good start.

"I love… Jack Black." Bella announced as she pulled her feet up onto the couch.

"He's awesome. Have you heard any of his music?"

"I like… Tribute."

Once again she surprised me. I never would have thought that Bella would enjoy a band like Tenacious D. "Emmett used to listen to their music all the time. Every time we drove to school he would have it playing loudly through the open windows."

The most beautiful laugh filled my ears. "Sounds… like Emmett."

"I don't know if you know of the song Kickapoo, however it is full of curse words and the passersby where not pleased to hear such a song at eight in the morning."

Bella's gasp told me that she had, in fact, heard that song before. "I'd be in… trouble."

Now it was my turn to laugh. Of course this gorgeous, innocent soul would have been in trouble for playing such a song. "Mom wasn't happy when she heard about it."

Our conversation died down in order to pay more attention to the movie, and at one point Bella curled herself up against me; it only felt right to wrap my arm around her. As the movie played on I realized that 'The Holiday' is not something that I would want to watch on a daily basis, however it was fun and anything that brought a smile back to Bella's face was always going to be okay with me.

In one scene of the movie, two of the characters were seen enjoying a romantic meal together and Bella had been so quiet up until that point that I almost thought she had fallen asleep. "I want that." She whispered with her head still resting on my chest.

"You want to go to a restaurant?" Her confession broke my heart. I mean, sure she can't go there right now, but there was nothing stopping her going to a restaurant further down the line.

"…the date."

For the first time in a long time, Bella had left me utterly speechless. Like with the restaurant, there is nothing stopping her from going on a date when she feels up to it, however I thought that that would have been the last thing on her mind right now. I found myself voicing my question before I could stop myself. "Why do you want to go on a date?"

"…want to be like Lauren." She let out a soft sigh which told me that this was not an easy conversation to have.

Also, she wanted to be like Lauren? Who even is Lauren? She's obviously some sort of big influence if Bella wanted to be just like her?

"I want you to be yourself and go on a date because you _want _to and not because someone else made you think differently."

I wondered where this had all come from - had it been on her mind for some time? Or did this movie start up the thought in her head? Maybe Bella had been thinking about it and she used this movie as a way to bring it up in conversation?

"I want to, but I…"

_No! Don't leave me hanging there!_

"You what?"

"I don't… think he does."

So this was about a particular person? It must have been someone that Bella knew before all of this, because she hasn't mentioned a guy's name in the whole time that I've known her. A strange urge to protect Bella washed over me. A second feeling had been mixed in with that, however I couldn't work out what it was, so I brushed it off as nothing of importance. Just as long this guy treated her like a queen and gave her the world.

"Why do you think that?" I wasn't sure whether or not to continue on with this topic, but she obviously wanted to talk about it.

"I'm not… special enough."

At that moment I was incredibly glad that she couldn't see my face and the sadness that passed over it. It killed me that Bella didn't think she was special enough, and I'd happily hunt down any man who made her think like that.

My arms gave her a tight squeeze and I bent down ever so slightly to place a kiss on top of her head. "Now that's where you're wrong - you're extremely special to me, and if this guy thinks differently then you don't deserve him in your life."

"Thank you."

I was so intrigued and I really wanted to know more. I just hoped that she didn't find me too nosey or intrusive. "How long have you known him?" Perhaps it was that Jacob person whose name I saw written on her old weekly planner?

"Not… long." She answered after a short pause.

How long is 'not long'? As in, less than a year?

The protective feeling appeared again. The only way she could have met someone within the past year was if she had downloaded a dating app on her phone. If that's the case, then I'd definitely need to tell Charlie about it - there is no way in hell he would allow his daughter to have an online relationship right now. Neither would I.

"Well, he can't be that special then." The smirk on my face came through in my words, although she wouldn't have realized how true they were.

Before she answered, Bella tightened her grip around my middle and she brushed her cheek against my chest as she adjusted her position. "He's… very special."

"Can I meet him one day?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but it felt like the right thing to ask.

"It… depends."

"On what?"

"Whether he… feels… the same way."

0-0

**Oh, Edward. **

**We'll be back in Bella's head in the next chapter and it's a big one… **

**Please let me know what you thought and I will do my best to upload as quickly as possible! **


	28. Chapter 27

**DISCLAIMER. PLEASE READ: The next two chapters hold a court sentencing. As I was researching information I came across a real life court case. I will not be mentioning the case simply because I feel as though it's disrespectful to the family included. I have changed the words etc to fit my story, however the layout is loosely based around what I saw in the video. I am not a lawyer nor have I studied law and so everything that I include in the chapter came from information that I found online. The charges and sentencing are based off of Oregon laws, so please don't come at me if you feel like the years are too high or not high enough. Most states have a different punishment system.**

**This chapter holds scenes from the past and the present day. The scenes from the past will be in italics; they will be day-dotted but please make sure you are paying attention. **

**Warning: there will be descriptions or scenes that some may find hard to read. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 27

**May 18th, 2018.  
****Bella.**

_Ever since I was a kid in school, I have always loved Fridays. Despite how much I loved my job, you can't beat that weekend feeling - you made it through the week and now you only have one more shift to go. _

_This morning was no different. My alarm went off at 07:05 as always, and within ten minutes I was in the shower washing my hair. I spent my time in the shower pondering over the day ahead of me and the plans I had for the weekend - I knew that I needed to call Jake at one point but that was the only thing out of the ordinary. I had been meaning to phone him for weeks, so I had finally added it to my planner. _

_I didn't take too long in the shower, and decided to forgo shaving my legs which made the whole experience much quicker. There was no reason why I couldn't shave tomorrow, and it wasn't like anyone was going to see them anyway. With the extra five minutes I had saved, I decided to put some effort into my appearance; I chose a smarter looking outfit and tied my hair up into a bun on top of my head. My make-up was simple, but for once I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. _

_Someone once told me that if you start your day off right, everything will be smooth sailing from then on. I don't know how true that statement is, but I suppose I would soon find out. _

0-0

**June 11th, 2019.**

I used to love Fridays.

I would wear make-up on Fridays and my clothes consisted of blouses and smart pants instead of jeans and t-shirts. I don't know why I chose that day in particular to put effort into my appearance - it just happened that way.

I no longer love Fridays.

My wardrobe contained leggings, yoga pants, and hoodies that were way too big for me. I haven't worn make-up in over a year, and my hair hung lifeless down my back. I no longer pay attention to my appearance. Just as long as I can make it through a day, that is good enough for me. Today we were driving to Oregon for the court date, and it had been a long time since I last felt this scared.

For weeks Dad and Edward have been helping me with my speech. We have it all written out in full, and for hours on end I would read it aloud either with my headphones on or my headphones off. I had a feeling that I could do this, and I knew that if I didn't do this James won't be given the maximum sentence, however the fear still likes to trickle through me. I have suffered many a broken bone all because I opened my mouth in his presence, and now I need to do it again. I know that he can't hurt me physically, but he'll always have the ability to hurt me mentally.

Angela has offered me some tips and tricks to use before and after the sentencing, and Edward's parents have agreed for us to stay with them throughout our time there. It would make it slightly easier for me if I stayed in a familiar place. A new building would only add to my already severe anxiety.

I had a few things to look forward to - I would be seeing Esme, Carlisle and Nora again, and possibly Alice and Jasper. They are still practically strangers to me, however I do miss them, and Edward is constantly telling me that they are asking how I am and sending me their love. Most importantly I will finally be meeting baby Daisy. She is six months old now, and I love babies when they are at that age. My hope is get a cuddle and maybe even a smile from her.

We will be in Oregon for five days in total, and have planned a day or two either side of the court case to prepare ourselves and get relaxed. I keep telling myself that if I can get through the next few days, then I can accomplish anything that life throws at me.

We had decided to take Edward's car instead of the cruiser, mainly because of the size. Edward said that he was more than happy to drive there and back, and so Charlie will sit in the back seats with Luna and I will sit in the front. I prefer sitting in the front passenger seat because that way I get a full view of where we're going and I don't feel as cramped. I no longer feel as anxious in the car, however I'm used to the ten minute drives around town and not the five hour road trips. Charlie has made sure that everything is packed and organized, including a bag that mainly contains snacks for me to pick at when I need to. Along with my favorite Swedish Fish, I also have chips, dark chocolate and a fresh punnet of strawberries.

There is a high chance that my hunger may vanish and so Heidi said that if I have my chosen snacks beside me then I may be more inclined to eat them throughout the day. Esme had sweetly asked for my meal plan, but as long as I am given nutritious foods then it won't be a problem.

0-0

"Anything you need before we go, Bells?" Charlie had found me in the kitchen as I slipped my feet into the slipper-boots that Alice had bought for me.

"I'm… okay."

"Good. Well Edward should be here in a minute, so I'm going to let Luna out into the back yard and then we'll be on our way."

It was still fairly early in the morning and so I had just finished my second breakfast and had completed my stretches for the day. I had found that my stretches were getting easier and that they had really helped my stability - I no longer needed an aid as I walked, and I could stand for a longer period of time without needing to hold onto anything. My favorite thing to do was to track the difference in my appearance - I love nothing more than to watch how my arms fill out along with my boney hands and feet. I still cannot see much of a difference in my chest and stomach, but apparently that is the last thing to change. Which is ironic if you think about it - it is so easy to put weight on around your stomach, but not when you need to gain it.

Everything was sorted and ready to go by the time that Edward turned up outside. I could feel the tell-tale signs of panic rising, but I had just taken my medication and so hopefully that would stop anything from happening. Luna guided me towards the car where Edward was stood waiting for us.

"Hey, sweetheart." He smiled and gave me a brief hug. His hugs always made me feel slightly better; especially when he gave me a kiss on the head too.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Okay." My answer was an honest one. I wasn't excited for the trip, nor was I terrified.

I made myself comfy in the car as Edward helped Charlie pack all the bags into the trunk and then made sure that Luna was settled in safely. She had grown so much since our last trip to Oregon, but seeing how Nora manages in the car told me that Luna should be just fine. She lay across the seats directly behind the driver's seat, which made it easier for me to reach back and touch her if I needed to.

"Are you good to go?" Edward asked as he pulled the seatbelt across his front. He wore a gray V-neck sweater and blue jeans. Edward always seemed to dress semi-smartly. I liked that about him. When my true feelings became apparent to me I had noticed many things that I liked about him. It had annoyed me at first when he hadn't picked up on my obvious hints, but I continued to drop them from time to time, and so hopefully he'll realize what I was trying to say. I thought it would have been as clear as day when I said that I had feelings for someone I hadn't known for that long, but guys see things differently.

At first I was worried that perhaps he did understand but that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I suppose I wouldn't be anyone's first pick. Even in high school nobody ever asked me to go to prom with them. Edward probably didn't see me in that light, and I was more like a little sister than anything else.

I made a mental note to ask Rose and Alice about it. I've never had girlfriends to discuss this stuff with, and I'm sure they'd offer the perfect advice.

As we drove away from the house Charlie told me where the first stop was and how long it would be before we got there. I replayed that information over and over in my head as a way to calm myself. It almost works like a countdown - work through the first hour, and then continue the process until we had arrived at our destination.

On that dreaded day, when I had been literally thrown into the back of James' car, it felt like I was in there for days. I don't know if I'd ever be comfortable travelling to Oregon again, but at least this time I had a window to look out of and I no longer had a gun pressed against my temple.

0-0

**May 18th, 2018.**

_I was in the kitchen with twenty-five minutes to spare before I had to leave for work. I always left at eight o'clock, and it only took me ten minutes to get there, however I needed to give myself time to relax before my shift started at eight-thirty. I remember I once left five minutes later than planned and the anxiety that ran through me was like nothing I have ever experienced before. This schedule works for me, so I see no reason to change it. _

_I always make sure to eat something before I leave; whether that be a granola bar or a bowl of cereal. As a kid I used to be terrible at skipping breakfast. Usually Mom would still be in bed when I left for school, so she never noticed or cared, but when I moved in with Charlie he was adamant that I changed my ways. I suppose that was when I began my routines, and I couldn't thank him enough for it. _

_It was as I was taking some milk from the fridge that I noticed I hadn't made my lunch the night before. On Fridays, when my food supply was getting low, I usually grabbed lunch from the deli across the street from the bookstore. I had just the right amount of cold meats to make up a sandwich, and I liked to save money where I could, so I decided last minute to quickly throw some food together for lunch. _

_That was one of two mistakes that I had made that morning, but I wouldn't know that until it was too late. _

0-0

**June 11th, 2019. **

To my surprise, I managed to arrive at Carlisle and Esme's house without having a single panic attack. It only had just gone three o'clock by the time we pulled up, and so the summer sun still shone brightly in the sky. I looked as though I was dressed up for winter, but everyone else walked around in light clothing. I couldn't wait to enjoy the summer again.

"My darling!" Esme cheered as she brought Edward in for tight hug. It must have been hard for them with Edward living further away now, so it was nice to see how much they loved their son.

Charlie and Carlisle greeted each other, but I was quickly distracted when Nora was seen running from the house and down towards the car. I managed to have the door open just in time for her to say hello in her own special way. Nora rested her two front paws on my knees and licked my cheeks excitedly.

"Hi Nora." I chuckled.

"Nora must have known that you were coming," Carlisle smiled. "She has been hyper all morning."

Once Luna had been let free from the car, the dogs distracted themselves by running around and chasing each other.

"Do you want me to call Luna over?" Carlisle asked as he held out his arm for me to take as I stood from the car. I was very touched that he had asked that.

"It's okay… I… can do it."

"Bella." Esme came over to our side and, like with Edward, continued to give me a hug. "You look amazing."

"Thank you."

"Now, let's get you inside, shall we? We can leave the boys to unload the car!"

The distance from the car to the house wasn't far, and I could have managed it unaided, however the stones made it slightly more difficult. I had only taken two steps before I realized how unsteady my feet were on the uneven ground. "Esme…" My voice was quiet, like I was too scared to ask for help.

"Yes?"

"Can I…?" I held out my hand in a silent plea.

"I'm so sorry; I should have offered you my arm in the first place."

"It's okay."

I held onto her arm until we had reached the house, and then we both made our way into the living room where a special armchair had been set up just for me. It had a blanket resting over the top and a couple of plush cushions placed delicately against the back of the seat. "Thank you." I would have been fine with the couch, but the fact that she had put so much effort into making that seat as comfortable as possible meant a lot to me.

"You only deserve the best, my sweetheart."

0-0

**May 18th, 2018**

_It never seemed to matter the time of year - it will always be raining in Forks. _

_The light drizzle had started up as I was washing my cereal bowl. My rain jacket was upstairs in my closet, and I suppose I could have left it there, but knowing my luck the light rain would turn into a monsoon the second I left the house. _

_Like with the sandwiches, I took an extra minute to turn back around to collect said jacket. This was my second mistake of the day. I was still leaving on time, however had I decided against those ideas I would have left my house a few minutes earlier, and my day would have taken a different route. _

_I was heading towards my truck when I noticed the woman walking along the sidewalk. She was a complete stranger to me, so I paid her no attention and left it at that. I was searching for the keys to my truck when she first spoke to me. _

_"Can you help me?" She asked. That was when I looked up and noticed how dirty her clothes were, and how out of control her fiery red hair appeared to be. This poor woman looked as though she had just escaped from hell, and suddenly I no longer cared if I was late for work. She was in desperate need of some help, and I wasn't the sort of person to ignore that. "Please?" She begged. _

_"O-of course. My dad is the Chief - he'll be more than happy to help you." I had no idea what this lady had been through, however Charlie was the best person to call. Perhaps she had been held hostage and had somehow found the courage to escape? Who knew something like that would happen here?_

_At least I was the first person she came across._

_I was looking for my cell phone and had been deciding whether or not to take her inside, when I felt a force hit against my arm. Before I knew it, the lady had grabbed my bag and was pulling it away from my shoulder. _

_"Hey!" I called, doing my best to keep a tight hold onto the straps. "Look, I'll help you, but I need to call my dad!" _

_"I'm so sorry…" She whispered, dropped a hold of my bag, and used all of her strength to push me against the side of my truck. _

_Before I could say another word, she slapped her hand against my mouth. "Hey!" My words were muffled by her palm. "Stop it!" _

_"Shut your fucking mouth." She sneered into my ear. "Do as you're told, or you'll live to regret it." _

_Despite what she had told me, I continued to scream and cry with the hope that someone would hear me. _

_I thought my prayers had been answered when the heavy sound of an engine was heard pulling up behind us. My neighbors often leave for work the same time as I do, so I had imagined that one of them had seen the attack and had parked up to help._

_Her hand slipped from my mouth and I felt the weight ease as she pushed herself away from me. _

_"I don't have much, but the bag is yours if -." My rambles came to a halt when I noticed that the person who had pulled over was not a neighbor. Instead it was a man, unwashed and unkempt like the lady, with an evil grin painted across his face. _

_"You brought a snack…" _

0-0

**June 12th, 2019.**

It was clear to see that Emmett and Rosalie were born to be parents.

Emmett's usual childlike behavior shone whenever he held his daughter, or made her smile and giggle. Daisy's favorite game involved clawing her tiny hand into his mouth and he would pretend to nibble on her fingers. Emmett made animated noises and had a playful gleam in his eyes.

Daisy is the perfect mix of both her parents; with crystal blue eyes and light blonde hair that had started to curl at the back of her head. She was only six months old, and so new faces were still daunting to her, but her confidence grew the longer that we sat here. Everybody had arrived, and even though various conversations were started, we were easily distracted. I appreciated the distraction, mainly because it kept the focus away from what was happening Monday afternoon.

After a while people started to leave the room in order for them to get work done, lunch made, and to complete other mundane tasks. Rosalie and Alice stayed with me which gave me the perfect opportunity to discuss my issues concerning Edward. We were all sat close together which meant that I could talk quietly without the fear of Edward hearing me.

"Can I… ask a question?"

"Of course." Rosalie replied as she unclipped one side of her nursing bra in order to feed a rather grouchy Daisy. It amazed me at how comfortable she was feeding Daisy in front of everyone. I mean, I know that she's around family, but I don't think I'd be that confident exposing myself like that.

"Um…" I wasn't sure how to word it. All of the questions sounded so childish and petty.

"Bella, you can ask us anything." Alice reassured me.

"How…" _No, that doesn't sound right. _"When… did you…" _Argh! _My fluster had caused the words to get lodged in my throat. I pulled at my hair in frustration as I found my trusty notepad and pen and scribbled down my question.

_When did you know that Emmett and Jasper had feelings for you? _

Both sisters read the note and gave each other the same excited smiles. I would have rolled my eyes if I wasn't so confused and irritated by everything.

Alice answered first. "I scared Jasper away when we first met - I knew he was it for me, and I refused to give up until he realized that. Then one day he asked me out to dinner, and we've been together ever since!"

I appreciated the answer, however it wasn't quite what I was looking for. Fortunately, Rosalie's response was more helpful.

"Emmett saved me from a dark depression after I had managed to escape my abusive ex-boyfriend. I never saw myself loving anyone ever again, but his care and protection quickly changed that for me. I knew he had feelings for me when he would appear at my parent's house with flowers and chocolates, just because I liked them."

Edward sometimes buys me ice cream and candy? Does that work the same way? I remember Rosalie saying that our stories were somewhat similar, but the part about care and protection really tied our stories together.

"Bella," Alice sat forward in her seat. "What made you ask us this?"

I think they both knew the answer, but I wrote it down regardless.

_I need help. My feelings towards Edward have changed, but I feel like he doesn't see me the same way._

Alice let out a loud laugh which didn't sit well with myself or Daisy. She quickly apologized before explaining the reason behind her outbreak. "My brother may be incredibly smart, but he's an idiot. All men are idiots; their brains don't operate the same way ours do. I believe that Edward has an idea, but until he admits it to himself then nothing can be real or true."

"You… think?"

"Absolutely! Do you think he would move his entire life around if you weren't so important to him?"

She had a point, I guess.

"Have you said anything to him?" Rosalie asked, to which I nodded. "What did you say?"

I had to rely on my paper once again.

_I said that I wanted to go on a date with someone, but I hadn't known them for very long. I don't think he understood what I was trying to say. _

"Like I said - he's an idiot."

"What… do I do?"

Rosalie adjusted the way that Daisy sat on her lap as she offered me her advice. "Honestly? I'd say to keep doing what you're doing. He's different around you - we haven't seen this side of him before."

Their words gave me hope.

Hope that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't alone in this mess.

0-0

**May 18th, 2018. **

_"Her dad's a fucking cop!" She spat. _

_That was when I realized that I was in deep, deep trouble. _

_Running on autopilot, I turned on my heel to try and escape the situation, when the lady grabbed a hold of my wrist. She was much stronger than I first thought and all of a sudden I was scared that she was going to break a bone. _

_Everything after that happened in a blur; the man took over and all but dragged me towards the parked car. I tried as hard as I could to fight him off, but every time that I moved he would hold on tighter. Charlie always made sure that I carried a can of pepper spray in my bag, and I used to think that it was the most ridiculous, embarrassing thing to have in my possession. Unfortunately, the one time that I needed it, I didn't have it. _

_The lady, with my bag hung off of one arm, opened up the trunk of the SUV and I was flung inside like a garbage bag. Before I could scramble away, or even make a noise, the icy cold steal of a gun was pressed against my head. My breathing came out in heavy, uneven pants. I couldn't remember ever being more scared in my life. I hadn't given much thought to how I would die, but it was suddenly staring me in the face. _

_The unnamed man took a hold of my neck, still with the gun in his hand, and brought his face in closer. "If I hear you make a single noise, I'll blow your fucking brains out. Do you understand?" A rotten smell wafted from his mouth as he spoke. I was close to throwing up, but I had no idea whether it was because of fear, or the stench. _

_"Tie her hands up!" He whispered his order and moved away to give the lady the space to complete her task. Despite the fact that she was tying my hands behind my back, the man continued to grip and squeeze my neck. I even sent up another prayer to God basically saying that if I was going to die anyway, I would prefer it to be from suffocation. _

_If there really is a God up there somewhere, he must have been busy that day. _

_The man let go of my neck, only so that they could flatten out a thick piece of industrial tape over my mouth. I knew I shouldn't have said a word, however when your mouth is literally taped shut, you can't help but call out and scream. _

_"Ah, ah, ah…" He smirked and pointed the gun directly between my eyes. "You don't want to leave the party early, do you?" _

_The trunk was slammed shut. Not even a single beam of light entered the cramped space. _

_As the engine started and I felt the car drive away, I knew that I was going to die at some point. _

_I tried my hardest to keep the tears at bay, but they trickled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I cried out of fear, out of anger, but mostly out of sadness. _

_Would Charlie ever find out what had happened to me? _

_How long would it take for someone to realize that I was missing? How long would this torture last for? And how long would it take before someone came to save me? _

0-0

**June 14th, 2019.**

The time had come.

It was currently five in the morning; I had seen every hour on the clock and no amount of meditation or music could lull me off to sleep. I tried reading at one point, but I found myself rereading the same line over and over. Every scenario ran through my head, and even though I knew that today is a good day, I couldn't stop the negative thoughts from taking control. James is finally getting the punishment that he deserves, however I still have to stand in the same room as him. It's almost like throwing a tiny mouse into a lion's den - there will be an escape route, but until that happens the mouse needs to face its predator.

As expected, my mental barrier appeared again last night. I was happily having a conversation with Esme as we were eating dinner, and then suddenly I could no longer reply. They were very understanding and knew that it was nothing personal. I hadn't managed to say a single word since then, and so I hoped that it wouldn't interfere with the court case later on. My words were crucial, especially being the only living victim.

I wish it was as easy as opening my mouth and talking, however if I my head doesn't want me to speak then nothing that anyone says or does is going to change that.

I lay in bed until seven o'clock when I heard the tell-tale signs of someone making their way downstairs. My stomach was rumbling, and I had had enough of lying in bed with only my dark thoughts for company.

I slipped my feet into a pair of shoes, found the hoodie that had been flung over the bed frame, and then called Luna to attention with a tap of my hand against my thigh. Luna's trainer had taught her a few hand gestures to go along with the signals incase I couldn't verbalize them. I tapped my thigh for 'watch me', I pointed forward for 'walk', and I would tap my feet together for 'side'. Her main command and skill is to find me a safe, quiet place if an episode begun when we were outside somewhere. She's still in the process of learning the full routine, however she'll soon know to sit me down, put all of her weight on top of me, and then bark for help. Thankfully I wouldn't need a hand gesture for that - she'll pick up on my heart rate and labored breathing.

I think she's currently being taught to go into rooms before me and watch out for potential triggers. It always amazes me just how quickly she learns something new, but also how incredibly smart these dogs are.

I no longer need Luna's leash walking around the house, and so with the correct gesture, she began to walk a step before me as we left the spare bedroom and made our way downstairs towards the kitchen.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Esme smiled. "I was just making myself some tea if you'd care to join me?"

I took my usual seat opposite where she stood behind the breakfast bar. I nodded in response as I picked out a banana from the over-flowing fruit bowl. I wasn't sure whether Esme had bought all of this fruit for our arrival, or if it usually looked like this, but regardless of that I thoroughly enjoyed the endless supply. I noticed that the bowl didn't contain a single apple, so I had assumed that Edward had informed them of my fear foods.

Esme opened up a cupboard to reveal a large selection of various herbal teas. She mused around for a second before selecting two boxes and turned them over to show me. One was chamomile and the other was peppermint. I chose chamomile.

We sat in a comfortable silence, sipping on tea and, in my case, making my way through two bowls of cereal. Esme would occasionally start up a conversation, however it can be incredibly hard to continue it when only one of us is talking.

Everybody else joined us in stages, and before I knew it we had a full table of people. Edward and Charlie sat on either side of me, and even though they knew I wasn't going to answer, I appreciated it when they included me in the conversations. They didn't discuss the impending court case, mainly to distract ourselves from the evil of it all. The entire gang had decided to join us for moral support, and thankfully the local schools had just finished for summer, which meant that Alice and Jasper were also free to come along. It meant so much to me that this family, whom I'd barely met a handful of times before, were willing to do this for me. Of course Edward had his own part to play, and so it could have been that they were there for him, however they still supported me just as much.

After breakfast I continued my morning routine as if it was just a normal day. I took my medication, completed my stretches, and even had time to fit in a small nap before I had to get myself washed and ready. I had two outfits to choose from - my usual legging-hoodie combo, or a dress and sneakers. In the end I went with what I would be more comfortable in, but also the outfit that showed off my vulnerable side. If it's any consolation, my leggings were the ones from Lululemon, and so they appeared smarter than the cheap, cotton ones from Target.

"Knock knock." Edward's voice appeared on the other side of the door. He poked his head around the frame cautiously, and then walked straight into the room when he saw that I was decent. "I wanted to catch you on your own before we left." He stole the spot beside me on the bed and watched as I brought a brush through my damp, tangled hair.

"Whatever happens today, Bella, I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you." I shot him a soft smile. Edward patted my thigh as he continued on with his little speech. "It may not be easy, however I need you to remember that James cannot hurt you. Not only will he have security guards watching his every move, but you'll have two cops sitting right beside you in the form of Charlie and Emmett."

I nodded my head and continued to brush.

"You'll also have me." Edward added with a smirk. "And if you think I'd allow _anyone _to hurt you, then you obviously don't know me very well."

It was statements like that, that made me wonder if Edward _does _have feelings for me. Perhaps Alice and Rose were right? Maybe Edward hasn't admitted it to himself yet?

I dropped the brush beside me and brought Edward in for a deep hug. His words meant a lot to me, and I hoped that this sweet gesture would help him realize how I felt. _"Thank you," _I whispered just beside his ear. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

He rubbed my back soothingly. "Prove James wrong; show him how brave you are." He finished the embrace with a gentle kiss to my forehead.

0-0

We all arrived at the Multnomah County Courthouse with thirty minutes to spare before the sentencing began. My lawyer, Jason, wanted to meet with us privately to discuss any last-minute changes or answer any questions that we had. Butterflies had started to swarm my stomach, and Luna had noticed my change in attitude. In the car over here I had to sit in the back seats because she refused to leave my side.

Once we had signed ourselves in our first issue became known - we had to walk through a metal detector. Usually I was okay with things like this, and it was just the same as the ones you found in airports, however I had to go through by myself. Even though it was only a few steps, the fact that Luna had to leave my side for that split second didn't sit well with me.

A security guard asked me to remove Luna's harness so that she could walk it through separately. "Harness!" She called out. The high-pitched beeping only caused more discomfort. It was clear in Luna's eyes that she wasn't sure what was going on and she had been trained to stay beside me if my heart rate spiked. It must have been very confusing for her.

The guard tried her best to call Luna over, but nothing seemed to work.

_I don't need this added stress right now. _

_Please, I just want to be on the other side. _

A cold sheen of sweat coated my body as the adrenaline and anxiety peaked.

Thankfully, after I had caught Luna's attention and had gestured forward a few times, she finally completed the task at hand.

"Okay, miss - it's your turn."

Charlie gave my shoulder a squeeze and told me that everything was going to be okay.

I had been so caught up in what was going on that I had completely forgotten about the cell phone in my hoodie pocket. Usually it was kept in a bag. The second I had made it past the detector, the alarm began to ring again. This time it was louder than before, and my only reaction was to cover my ears and to drop down into a ball. It felt like a sharp knife slicing my eardrum.

_Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. _

_I want to go home. _

_I need this to end. _

"Miss? Miss, I need you to stand for me, please."

"She needs me! I need to get through there!"

_Deep breath in, deep breath out. _

Luna licked my face and nudged my hands away from my ears.

My family called for me from the other side of the detector.

Luna barked for attention.

The ringing continued, and I couldn't tell whether it was real or fake.

Black spots covered my vision.

I closed my eyes.

My breathing became labored.

My head felt heavy.

"Bella, honey, I'm here."

I could feel Charlie's hands on mine. He was sat on the floor beside me and he simply held me until the episode subsided.

"Can you stand up?" He asked with a soft, caring tone. My body felt weak, but with the help from my dad I managed to stand on both feet. "Atta girl."

The security guard checked me over to see what had caused the alarm to go off, and then one by one, everyone else made their way over. Edward came first to double-check that I was okay. I was far from okay, but at least the attack had stopped. For now.

_I'm not mentally ready for this. I don't think I ever will be. _

The next half an hour seemed to pass by in a blur; I couldn't recall a single thing that had been discussed with Jason. I mainly focused on my breathing and thought about the positives.

_I'll be home soon, and then I can restart my life._

"Bells?" Charlie tapped my shoulder to get my attention. I noticed that everyone else had stood from their seats and were making their way towards the door. "It's time to go, honey." He gave me a sad smile. Jason had predicted that this would only go on for a couple of hours, but we all knew that anything could happen in that time.

I was led down a few corridors in what seemed like a never-ending maze of rooms.

All of a sudden, Jason came to a halt. From the other side of the doors I could hear the whispers and mumbles of the audience. Esme, Carlisle and the rest of the family were sitting in that room. I wondered what was going on inside their heads; was James in there already? Could they smell the same foul stench that refused to leave my memory?

Edward gave my hand a comforting squeeze, and Charlie rubbed my back as we waited for Jason to let us in.

We were probably only standing there for a couple of minutes, yet it felt like hours before Jason cleared his throat and announced that it was our turn to enter.

The grand doors opened and I was faced with my nightmare.

0-0

**The flashbacks will continue in the next chapter…**

**Incase you aren't a member of my Facebook group then you won't know that I am having to return to work tomorrow after three months of self-isolation. I will try my hardest to get chapters written frequently, but before then if you want to keep informed then come and join us on RosieRathbone FanFiction where I always tell you when I'll be updating stories. **

**Thank you for reading and please let me know what you thought? **


	29. Chapter 28

**Warning: The past scenes in this chapter include descriptions of blood, rape and abuse. If you are uncomfortable reading that content then I suggest you skip those scenes and focus mainly on the present day.**

**Just to note, incase any of you get confused - Victoria's real name is Cara. She was kidnapped ten years before Bella. James made her change her name, so in Bella's mind she will always be 'Victoria', but in court she will be referred to as Cara or Miss Jennings. **

**You might want to grab a snack. This chapter is long. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 28

**June 14th, 2019.  
****Bella.**

I kept my head down and focused on the floor as Jason led us towards our chosen seats. Our family were all sitting in the row behind us. Charlie and Edward sat either side of me with Luna at my feet in the 'watch me' command. As my feet began to bounce and my legs tremored, Luna brushed her head against them as a silent way of calming me down. I could feel the countless pairs of eyes watching me, but mainly I could feel the intense pressure of James. I had no way of knowing if he was looking at me, but his presence alone was enough to cause a negative reaction.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and began to count slowly in my head.

_One, two three, four, five…_

When that didn't work, I began to list other things instead.

_Red, yellow, blue, orange, green…_

_Apple, orange, banana, pear, grapes…_

_Dog, cat, fish, bear, lion…_

My list-making had to stop when the room was called to stand. I could hear the footsteps of the judge, Eric Dahlin, as he made is way to his assigned seat, yet I refused to look up from the floor. We were asked to take our seats again. My hands felt as though they were dripping with sweat - my mouth was dry and my throat ached. That may be an issue when it came to talking, but I wouldn't know for certain until it came time to play my part.

After several long, antagonizing minutes, the judge called the room to order. I felt it was only right to pay him attention as he began to talk. He sat high in his wooden box, dressed in black and with a plaque on the wall behind him. Two state flags were positioned beside the plaque, and although I couldn't work out everything that it said, I noticed the 6 main words - _with liberty and justice for all. _That is why we were here; why we were putting ourselves through this torture. We wanted justice.

0-0

**May, 2018.**

_I don't know how long I was in the back of that car for - it could have been hours, it could have been days. I already felt bruises forming from the way that my body slammed against the trunk every time that the unnamed man took a tight turn or drove at an unnecessarily fast speed. I had a feeling he was doing that just to torture me some more. It surprised me that he didn't think about following the rules of the road - surely the last thing he'd want is for a cop to pull him over? _

_I roughly knew the time when the hunger kicked in. My stomach growled from the lack of food, which told me that it must have been several hours since I last ate anything. Will they let me eat something? Or was I going to die from starvation before I died from anything else? Apparently you can go a month without food, but only a few days without water. Maybe my hell will only last for a few days? _

_I tried not to focus on the negatives, but it was very difficult to block them out. I hoped to survive this and that I could see Charlie again some day, however the chances of that were slim. I wish he had someone to comfort him - it killed me to think that Charlie had to suffer through all of this alone. _

_Suddenly my back slammed against the trunk as the car came to a dramatic halt. "Fuck!" I heard the man yell from the front. "Fuck!" I wondered what had happened. Had the cops pulled him over for his reckless driving? Was I finally going to be safe? Was I going to get out of here? _

_Unfortunately I couldn't hear any sirens, so that blissful idea vanished. However what I could hear was the slam of a door and heavy footfalls as the person rounded the car. I didn't have time to think before the trunk opened and I was basked in sunlight. I had been in darkness for so long that it took a second for my eyes to adjust. _

_"Get up." The man demanded. He had a lit cigarette balanced between his lips. Once I was up he grabbed the top of my arm and pulled me from the confined space. He took a long pull from the cigarette and blew the foul smell directly into my face. I valued my life too much to react. I knew that my brain would be splattered against the upholstery if I dared to flinch or make any sort of sound. _

_"What are we going to do?" The lady demanded as she came over to join us. "That fucking cop is onto us!" _

_Charlie? Was that the cop they were talking about? Does he know that I've been taken? _

_"Shut up and get me a car." _

_The lady continued to shout. "Where the hell will I find a car in the middle of goddamn nowhere, James?!" _

_James… the unnamed man has a name…_

_The click of a gun broke me from my musing. He had the gun pointed straight towards his accomplice. "I said. Get me a damn car. Now!" With a sigh and a few more cuss words, she turned on her foot and went to complete her mission. _

_I took that second to take in my surroundings. We were parked on the side of a road with nothing but grassland around us. I couldn't hear the faint rumble of the highway, so I imagined that it would be a long time before anyone came our way, and finding a new car may have been easier said than done. _

_I couldn't help but look at the fields. _

_They looked like the perfect place to bury a body. _

0-0

**June 14th, 2019. **

"I am calling 19CF20 - State versus James Parker. Mr. Parker appears in person and with attorneys; Glenn Close and Brian Maine. This is a time scheduled for sentencing. I would like to remind everybody that this is a court of law - you may see or hear things deeply disturbing, however if you wish to remain in the courtroom you must remain silent. The court will not allow any outbursts or behaviors which disrupt the proceedings in any way."

He then continued to sort out the papers on his desk. Jason also had a stack of paper, so I wondered whether they were both looking at the same thing.

"Mr. Close…" Eric Dahlin continued. "Have you reviewed the pre-sentence investigation with Mr. Parker?"

"Yes we have."

"And does The Defense have any corrections they wish to make to the factual information given?"

"No, we do not."

It was clear that James' lawyers did not wish to be here. They were simply doing their job and had been assigned to James' case. I doubt they even knew him before this had all started.

The judge then spoke to Jason. "Mr. Jenks, has the victims' rights law been complied with?" I had no idea what that was - it must have been something that Jason spoke about in the room when I hadn't been paying attention.

"Yes, your Honor."

"Do you have any oral victim impact statements?"

"Yes, your Honor; we have four family members who would like to speak. I would like to add that Miss. Swan suffers with Selective Mutism, and so if she has issues making her statement then I will speak on her behalf."

That was another thing new to me. I really should have been paying attention before now. Does that mean that I could refuse to speak and Jason would do it for me? Perhaps I should take him up on his offer?

No. I need to do this by myself. Like Edward said - I had to show James how brave I was.

"Okay. Who would you like to go first?"

"Charles Swan."

I couldn't work out if it was a good thing or not that Charlie was going first. It meant that he would be back soon and would sit beside me for the rest of the case, but I wasn't ready for him to leave my side. Unfortunately there was not a lot that I could do, and so I had to cope with the fact that Charlie was leaving. He gave me a kiss on the head, and made sure that Edward kept a tight hold of my hand, which he did.

I couldn't look away from him as Charlie made his way over to the stand a couple of rows in front of us.

"If you could state your full name and spell your last name, please." Eric Dahlin kept the same monotone voice throughout the entire proceeding.

"Charles Swan. S-W-A-N."

As Charlie began his speech, I kept my head low and held Edward's hand in a tight grasp. I hadn't heard Charlie explain how he felt that morning, but I could no longer block it out.

"To the defendant; on the morning of May eighteenth, two-thousand and eighteen, my entire world shattered. When I found out that I was going to be a father, I made a promise to my unborn child that I would do anything to keep them safe and provide them with a perfect life. You stole that from me. My daughter was a loving girl who would help anybody in a time of need, and you took advantage of her kind nature… Because of your wrong doings, my daughter has to rely on a Psychiatric Service Dog to help her on a daily basis - she can no longer sit in a room by herself for five minutes without fearing the worst. A year later, and we are still struggling through each day. My daughter may be safe in my arms, but the girl she used to be is gone forever. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and I don't want another family to go through the nightmare that we have endured. Which is why, your Honor, I ask that you sentence the defendant a maximum sentence on each count in this case. Thank you."

Edward held onto me as I fell into his side. I knew I was going to cry, but I never thought that his words would break me as much as they did. Charlie had always been a man of little words, and so to hear his emotional plea was heartbreaking.

_"This will be over soon, sweetheart." _Edward whispered into my ear. I knew it wasn't going to last forever, but it was going to be a very long time before I felt safe again.

"Next your Honor is Edward Cullen."

0-0

**May, 2018.**

_As expected, it took a while to find a new car. I could tell that James was getting very worked up, and his anger shone through his words and actions. Fortunately for me, the trunk of the new car was far too small for me to lie in, so they threw me across the back seats and covered my body with an old, smelly blanket. I still didn't know why they had to find this new vehicle, but I had my suspicions and I guessed that it had something to do with the police. Perhaps they were tracking down the original SUV? I don't know. _

_Because I was in the back seats, it meant that I could listen in to every conversation that they had. One was based around food - the lady asked James to pull over at a gas station, but he refused to stop driving. At one point he ran out of cigarettes, but again he didn't want to stop driving. It became obvious to me that his anger only got worse when he didn't have nicotine in his system. Their last conversation gave me the answer I had been waiting for. _

_"Oregon?" The lady questioned. "We're staying in Oregon?" _

_Oregon is only a handful of hours away from home. I must have been in the car longer than that, so I guessed that James had been driving around in circles either to confuse me or to work out where to go. There wasn't a lot that I could do with this information, but at least I knew how far away I was from home and especially Charlie. _

_"I've got a place." _

_"Where?" She asked. He didn't answer. _

_When the speed of the car slowed down I knew that we were in a residential area. Surely James wasn't going to take us to a place with neighbors, right? _

_I thought we had arrived at our destination when James hit the brakes suddenly, but his harsh language and the sound of the car horn told me differently. "Fucking idiot." He spat. "Asshole clearly doesn't know how to drive." _

_"The guy in the Volvo?"_

_"Yeah." _

_"He's hot. Maybe I could sweet-talk him and steal his car…"_

_"He doesn't live far from our new home. I might invite him over for some fun…" _

_The idea that James wanted to bring more victims into this situation made my skin crawl, however I made a note of what he said. This man didn't live far from where I was being taken too… that could come in handy if I ever found a way out. _

_If only that man knew what was going on in the car behind him…_

_True to his words, ten minutes after that conversation we had finally arrived. Before I was taken from the car, I was made to wear a blindfold to keep the destination a secret. I tried my hardest to take in all of the sounds and smells from outside, but nothing seemed to work. The building was cold and echoey and there was a clear smell of must in the air - I knew it must have been abandoned before I even took the blindfold off. _

_When I could finally see again, I first noticed how dark everything was. There were no lights on, and the windows were so dirty that the sun could barely shine through them. The lady was made to take me to the 'bedroom' but it turned out that the bedroom was completely bare apart from a rug on the floor. I was told to sit on that rug and make myself comfortable. I wanted to laugh at her sarcasm, but I had lost the ability to show any sort of humorous emotion._

_"So…" James wandered into the room with a wooden chair being dragged behind him. The sound that it made against the concrete was like nails on a chalkboard. "I think it's time we introduce ourselves, correct?" _

_"Can we have food first?" The lady slumped against the wall to my left. _

_"I feel it's only fair that we welcome our new guest before we have a feast." I didn't like the sound of that. His sickly-sweet voice emphasized his evil nature. "Victoria and I would like to welcome you, dear one, to The Coven." _

_Victoria… another name to add to the list. _

_James continued to talk. "Before we can fully invite you in, you have to prove yourself worthy first - The Coven doesn't allow the weak into their party. If you can survive these tests, you can become one of us." He said that like it was a dream of mine to join their messed-up gang. I didn't know for certain, but I imagined that 'The Coven' consisted of only James and Victoria, and so the fact that he spoke about it in third person made me see how mentally insane this man really was. _

_"Unless I say otherwise," James kicked his feet out in front of him. "You will sit here and you won't mutter a single word. If we hear you say anything or do anything outside of the rules, your lifeless body will be hung from a nearby tree. Do you understand?" _

_I wasn't sure if that was a rhetorical question or not, but I nodded my head regardless. _

_"That includes going to the bathroom - shit your pants for all I care; as long as you don't leave this spot. You will eat when I decide to feed you, but The Coven needs to be strong - it is often that we go several days without hunting. You'll need to get your body used to that." _

_'Hunting'? Did he mean that in the literal sense of hunting animals, or was it another part of his mad story? Like he was a vampire or something? I prayed to God that he wasn't some wannabe vampire - that could have made things so much worse. _

_Before James could offer me any more information, Victoria begged that she could finally get some food. A haunting smile crossed James' face as he thought about her question. I already knew not to trust that look - nothing good could ever come from someone so evil. _

_Once I was alone in the room I allowed myself to break down. My butt was numb from the thin rug and pure concrete and I had only been here for five minutes. How was I supposed to survive any longer than that? I knew that I was in Oregon, but I had no idea where in Oregon, or how far away I was from home. I had an idea that Charlie had sent out a search party, but I doubt anyone was ever going to find me - James seemed like a smart man who knew exactly what he was doing. _

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I wiped away my tears as quickly as I possible before he could see, and then noticed the sandwich that he had been thrown down beside my feet. It was plain white bread with some interesting cold meat peeking from the sides. I knew better than to sniff the food or even refuse to eat it, and so I took a bite despite the fact that I instantly wanted to throw it straight back up again. Either this meat was off, or it held another hidden ingredient. _

_I had my answer a few moments later when my body started to sway and I felt my eyes close. He had laced this sandwich with some kind of drug, but it was too late. I passed out, onto the cold, dirty ground, to the sound of evil laughter in the background. _

_That was the first night that I was drugged. _

_That was the first night that James took advantage of my unconscious body. _

_That was the first night that I was violently raped and beaten._

0-0

**June 14th, 2019.**

Thankfully Edward waited until Charlie had returned before he let go of me and stood up. The judge never seemed to waste any time, which I was grateful for. There isn't any reason to delay the process.

Like before, Edward stood in the same position beside Jason and was made to state his full name. "Edward Anthony Cullen. C-U-L-L-E-N." I don't think I knew his middle name before now. That was a nice surprise.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen. What would you like to say?"

Edward cleared his throat to help prepare himself for talking. "To the defendant in this case. On the night of August twenty-second, two-thousand and eighteen, my dog brought a very worrying case to my attention. Isabella Swan had managed to escape her nightmare, and now stood in my front yard. It was clear from her appearance that she had been viciously attacked and abused for quite some time." Edward's voice broke, and he stopped talking for a second to control his emotions. When he continued to speak, the tears were clear in his words. It broke my heart to hear the pure, raw emotion.

"For months Isabella was treated like a caged animal instead of a human being. Her body is so weak that it took almost an entire year for her to walk by herself again. You have stolen her voice, her heart, but most importantly you have taken away the person that she used to be. Everyday, as she gets stronger, I can see that original person shining through, however the fear, terror and panic attacks are never going to end. I hope you live the rest of your life dealing with the pain that you put this loving family through. Judge, I ask that you give this man the maximum sentences, but we also ask for justice. Justice for Isabella and Cara, whose lives have been ruined because of him."

I appreciated Edward adding Victoria into his statement. Victoria may have helped James in my kidnapping, and also made my months with them a living hell. However she helped me escape, and she was a victim just like me. Victoria was an innocent teenager when she was taken, and I knew that she went through the same pain that I had to endure.

Thankfully, for my own mental state, Victoria's mother was called to stand next, which meant that I had five minutes to sit with both Edward and Charlie before it was my turn. It was incredibly difficult to listen to her mother describe the pain of losing their daughter so many years ago and having no idea what had happened to her. In her words, 'Cara was a bright, talented girl who had her entire life ahead of her - she would help anybody in a time of need'. Her mother mentioned how they spent almost eleven years wondering what had happened to their beautiful daughter and how they refused to give up hope. I never once expected for her to talk to me, however her final words started off yet another round of tears.

"Isabella, I wish to apologize for the pain that Cara put you through. My daughter wouldn't have done that, but this man had turned her into a completely different person. I would also like to thank you for being strong enough to survive and to put this puzzle together - because of you we now know what had happened to Cara and finally we can lay her to rest."

I hadn't thought of it that way. If I hadn't mentioned her name to the cops that day, her parents would still be searching for their lost daughter. Because of my 'strength' I managed to save myself, but I also managed to save this family. Of course nothing was going to bring their daughter back to them, but they finally have peace and an answer.

"Finally, your Honor, I would like to call Isabella Swan to stand. She is accompanied by her dog, Luna, and due to her Selective Mutism Isabella will be wearing headphones in order to deliver her statement."

0-0

**June, 2019. **

_I had lost all concept of time. _

_I had tried my best to keep a track of the days and nights, however I had lost count after the first few weeks. I think I had been here for over a month, but I couldn't say for certain. My entire schedule relies on time - five minutes either side can make a whole lot of difference. But now I had no way of knowing what the time was; especially during the summer months when the sun doesn't set until much later. _

_One thing that I had managed to keep track of, however, were the amount of meals that I had had in the last month or so. This morning I was given my tenth meal. Yes - in the space of four/five weeks, I had had ten meals. They weren't full blown meals either - usually I was given the leftovers like you would give your dog if you couldn't finish the plate. Sometimes James would make me a sandwich, but I had quickly learnt that those sandwiches were always laced with a drug. Apart from once, when the bread had green mold coated on top. I was made to eat every last crumb and threw-up constantly for a few days afterwards. _

_In the time that I had been here, I had seen James' full potential when it came to violence and power. I once 'broke the rules' because I had asked to use the bathroom, and he tied me up against the wall using a steel dog collar and a chain. I was given three glasses of water throughout my entire week-long torment. I thought about Charlie every second of every day, but I no longer cried. I genuinely think that my body was so dehydrated that I couldn't produce the tears, no matter how hard I tried. _

_To keep my mind busy, I started drawing little images in the dusty ground - faces, houses, the sun and several broken hearts. I always made sure to rub them away with my hand before anyone saw - I don't know what the punishment would be, but I didn't want to find out._

_I had also realized that James enjoys using his belt buckle and boots. I had fading scars littered about my body from the weapons, but he also took advantage of the belt when it came to abusing my body sexually. He would loop the belt around my wrists, to stop me from fighting him off as he took advantage. _

_I'll never forget the night that I was forced awake as he pulled me up from the ground; he had been drinking and the alcohol always made him angrier and rougher. I was thrown down onto his bed and lay there for hours, biting back scream after scream. I'd never felt a pain or a force like it in my life. It ended with him forcing himself into my mouth. He grabbed handfuls of my hair to keep my head in position. I thought about using my teeth to fight back, but I knew that he would have killed me for that._

0-0

**June 14th, 2018.**

"Okay, Miss Swan. Whenever you're ready can you please state your full name and spell your last name."

_I'm fine. I'm fine. I can do this. _

_I just need to read off some words. _

_James can't hurt me…_

_Right?_

All I had to do was say my name and then I could put my headphones on. I followed Edward's advice about thinking the words over and over in my head. I took a deep breath and found myself staring in Luna's eyes for added protection. She was watching me - she would look after me.

"Isa-Isabella… Marie Swan…" The pain in my throat had started. "S…W…A…N."

_Okay. One down. _

"Thank you, Miss Swan. Please, take all the time you need."

Luna already knew to 'watch me', however I replayed the gesture just to double check that she knew exactly what to do. In all the years that she will be my partner, this will be when I needed her the most.

I moved my headphones from around my neck, placed them over my head and hit play on my Einaudi playlist. The beautiful piano playing was known to help calm me down, so we'd see if it worked this time.

At first I held the paper in my hands, however they shook so violently that I couldn't focus on the words written there. Thankfully Jason caught onto my tremors, so he held the paper for me. He offered me a reassuring smile, and then it was time to talk.

_Remember to breathe._

_Do this for the beautiful family behind me. _

_Do this for Charlie, Edward and Luna._

_Do this for me… _

"To the…" My aching throat closed over as I muttered my opening words. I began to panic, and the panic quickly led to tears. I had already messed up and I hadn't even read out my first line.

I knew I'd regret it if I turned back now, or had Jason say it for me. So with that, I stole another look into Luna's almond eyes. She had sharp teeth and powerful paws - she would hurt anyone who tried to hurt me.

_I can do this. I _know_ that I can do this. _

I took a brief second to regain my confidence, wiped away my tears, focused on my breathing once more, and then started again.

"To the judge… and defendant in this case… I'd first like to… apologize for the way… that I talk - for months I would get… a-a-attacked and… s-s-starved for making a simple sound… and so now… I suffer with PTSD and… and Selective Mutism… which together makes it incredibly difficult… for me to string words together… I live with the fear… that if I say anything then… my life is… is going to end… I spent… a long time thinking that I was going to… going to die, and even now… I often fear that this man will return…

"I'm not sure how my life… will be from this… moment on, and… that scares… me more than I can explain… My world is full… of fear and sadness, despite… the constant security…around me. I doubt… I'd ever feel safe… again. I'd also like… to apologize to Cara's parents… for their loss - she… may have been in the… wrong, however… she is a victim as much… as I am, and I wouldn't… be standing here… today if it wasn't for her… bravery. James Parker ended… her l-l-life as if… she were a mere… bug on the floor - who knows… what he would have… done to me, or anyone else… he passes? In a way… I am glad that I… became his victim, simply… because I wouldn't… wish this torment on my… worst enemy. He stole me… for ninety-six days…without giving thought… to my family… and all of the other…people he hurt. He has… taken away… my life… and freedom, and… now I want to… take away his… James Parker… may have stolen my voice, but… he hasn't stolen my words, and… I hope we have the… the power to convince… you to give him the maximum… sentence so that no-one… else has to go through… the same pain and torture… Thank you."

A burning sensation crept up and along my throat. I knew that it was going to hurt, I knew that I was going to cry, and I knew that it would have taken me a long time to complete the passage. However I never thought I'd feel so triumphant and powerful. I had done it! I had faced one of my biggest fears and nothing bad happened!

Even as Luna walked me back towards Edward and Charlie, I made myself steal a look at James. He sat in his orange jumpsuit, hunched over the wooden table with his chin resting upon both fists. He had been in charge for so many years, but now it had all changed; he no longer had the power to take control or to hurt anyone. For the first time in a long time, he had become the victim. He was the prey and we were the predators.

Both Edward and Charlie threw their arms around me once I had returned to my seat. They whispered how proud they were of me, and even Edward's family brought me in for hugs and kisses on my cheek. I felt extremely loved and protected. It was an amazing feeling.

0-0

**July, 2018.**

_One thing that I was absolutely sure about - James thought of himself as a vampire. _

_His talk of hunting turned out to be exactly that. He had these strange, insane ideas that he and Victoria were vampires and that The Coven is some crazy cult which I would join if I passed all of their tests. He also said that they were married and were 'meant to be together', which I knew to be utter bullcrap. _

_Apparently he had to drink my blood so that he could tell whether I was pure enough to become a vampire just like them. According to James I had been doing really well so far, but this had to happen before the final test; whatever the hell that meant. _

_"Little Isabella…" He sung as he entered the room. A small knife in one hand and a glass in the other. "It's time to see if you are pure enough to become my mate."_

_Mate… It appeared as though I would also become James' wife after this. Or his mate, at least. _

_Of course he never asked before he straightened out one of my legs and held the knife against my thigh. I winced my eyes closed and bit down on the inside of my cheek as he made a small, thin cut. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, it almost felt like when you cut yourself shaving - you know you've cut yourself, but it doesn't properly hurt until the air and water get to it. _

_"You have to watch this next part, Isabella." _

_James had used the glass to collect some of the blood and then held it up into the air. He swirled it around the glass like a fine wine before he brought it against his lips. Thankfully he never actually drank it, but he acted out the movement and even pretended to lick it off of his lips. _

_He hummed. "Just as I thought… delicious!" _

0-0

**June 14th, 2019.**

"Any more witnesses on behalf of The State?" The judge asked Jason once I had found my seat again.

"No, your Honor."

"Any witnesses on behalf of The Defense?"

"No, you Honor." One of James' lawyers replied. I knew the judge needed to ask that question, but the idea that James would have had anyone to defend him made me want to laugh.

"Alright. The States' argument?"

Another man stood up from beside Jason and went to the front of the room. I wasn't sure what he was going to do, but then Jason began to talk. This is where everything gets serious - where we finally get our answers.

"The State is asking you to follow the sentence recommendations, given by Agent Hilary Jones in the pre-sentence investigation report. That sentence is as follows: we ask that you sentence the defendant, James Parker, to thirty-five years imprisonment on count one - first-degree intentional homicide for intentionally causing the death of Cara Jennings on August twenty-ninth, two-thousand and eighteen. The State is asking that you sentence the defendant, James Parker to fifty years imprisonment on count two - the intended kidnapping of Cara Jennings on September ninth, two-thousand and eight, and Isabella Swan on May eighteenth, two-thousand and eighteen. For count three - the combined rape and assault directed towards both Isabella Swan and Cara Jennings, the State asks that you sentence the defendant to the maximum years for each felony combined. The State asks that all counts run consecutively to each other without the possibility of release.

"The State's sentencing argument, that you find the defendant not eligible for release on all three cases combined, are based on the following factors: gravity of the offenses, character of the offender, and the need to protect the public. The gravity of the offenses is evident by the very essence of the charges to which Mr. Parker pled guilty to - one count of intended homicide, two counts of kidnapping, and several counts of rape and abuse combined. In every way imaginable, these crimes are aggravated in this case by the premeditated planning the defendant engaged in.

"Your Honor; exhibit one - family photos of Cara Jennings. This is the family that Mr. Parker destroyed. Cara and her family were incredibly close and she had a long life ahead of her."

The man who stood at the top-end of the room brought out large pictures and placed them delicately on the stand behind him. It made me feel very uneasy to look at the pictures of Victoria/Cara. You could easily recognize her in the pictures - the same wild fiery hair and facial features, but this time she held an angelic smile whilst standing beside two people who I assumed to be her parents. I never once saw that expression on her face, but I suppose we weren't in a situation to smile. The girl in the picture was clearly a teenager, and it hurt to think that she could have vanished shortly after this photo was taken.

"She was an innocent, fifteen-year-old girl taken suddenly as she made her way home from school. For ten years Mr. Parker took her around the country, and made her change her name so that they could live out the fantasy in his head. Your Honor; exhibit two - family photos of Isabella Swan. This girl no longer exists. Mr. Parker has taken the life from this loving girl who constantly lives in fear."

My own photos were next to be placed on the stand. I was with Renee in one, and Charlie in the other. You didn't have to know me personally - those photos alone helped describe my true personality and the smile that I longed to return. I had a sparkle in my eye which had also vanished.

"Exhibit three - photos taken from the abandoned ballet studio where Isabella was held captive."

The next pictures were the hardest to look at. Pictures of my room, the dirty rug, and other areas of the building. It is true when they say that a picture speaks a thousand words - the dark windows and bare rooms held all the descriptions needed.

I could recall every sound and scent that filled those rooms. I could remember the tiny drawings that I secretly drew with my fingers. I remembered every pain and ache, and the severe starvation and thirst. I remembered everything, and nothing would rid me of those awful memories.

Once the exhibits had been shown, Jason went into explaining the day that I was taken. He gave a brief summary of what had happened using information that I had given to him previously, along with information given by James himself during his original trial.

"From information given, it is known that Mr. Parker had planned to kidnap 'another girl'. Isabella was held captive for ninety-six days. During that time Mr. Parker repeatedly raped, abused and tortured Isabella. She was made to sit for the entire duration of her ordeal - making a noise or standing for a second would only cause more injuries. He acted out on '_vampiric tendencies' _\- pretending to drink the blood of his victims in order for them to join 'The Coven'. That was the name of the group that Mr. Parker had made up which included himself and Miss Jennings. He used it as a form of power; to make himself appear stronger and more terrifying. Mr. Parker included his vampiric nature when it came to 'playing games'. One night he purposely let Isabella free in order for him to hunt her down again. It is thought that Miss Jennings had wanted to help Isabella, and had injured Mr. Parker to allow Isabella extra time to get away.

"Isabella described the fear and pain that went through her as she continued to walk. Would he find her as she was walking through the trees? Would you find her before she managed to get to safety? And what would have happened if he had found her? Barely alive and with only just enough energy to stand, Isabella thankfully made it to safety. She was found by Edward Cullen in Mr. Parker's dirty clothes with shoes that were far too big for her feet. Isabella managed to find the strength to talk and asked for help. For her safety, Isabella returned home to Forks, Washington. Mr. Parker refused to give up, and after murdering Cara, he followed after Isabella and even managed to gain entrance into the Swan family home. The only place where Isabella felt safe, and once again he took that safety away from her. This information alone shows that Mr. Parker is a cold-blooded killer, who traumatized two innocent victims for over ten years. Mr. Parker insists that he is a good person, which just shows how dangerous he really is. If he is ever released, Isabella will not be safe; her life will be in jeopardy and so will the lives of anyone who stands in his way. Isabella shouldn't have to spend one second of the rest of the her life fearing that Mr. Parker will be free, nor should the public have to worry about what Mr. Parker is capable of doing."

Next it was time for The Defense to give their own say in the matter. Glenn Close decided to talk for them.

"Your Honor, first and foremost we would like to say that we fully understand that what we say will undoubtedly fall on deaf ears for most people. Mr. Maine and I are with the Multnomah Defense Department, and it is our job to make sure that Mr. Parker's proceedings are conducted in compliance with the Oregon and United States constitutions. During the course of our representation of Mr. Parker, a well-respected forensic psychologist in the state of Oregon had the chance to interview, analyze and diagnose Mr. Parker. He found my client to have sociopathic and psychotic tendencies. He also concluded that Mr. Parker's actions were part of escalating behaviours arising from childhood or adolescence.

"From a young age, Mr. Parker has had to battle with sociopathic tendencies - from issues with family, to bullying at school. Mr. Parker would often commit these criminal acts as a way to help beat the feelings inside. He confessed to being a very lonely man, and it was his loneliness mixed with his disorders that led him to kidnapping both Miss Jennings and Miss Swan. Mr. Parker is full of remorse for the pain and struggle he forced upon Miss Jennings and Miss Swan. The Defense strongly believes that Mr. Parker needs help for his mental insanity, and he understands that."

Lawyers would say anything in order for them to win the case. I didn't believe a word of what they said. Perhaps he does suffer some mental insanity, but he still knew what he was doing. He still followed through with the disgusting plans in his head.

"Does he? Does he really understand?" The judge asked. Clearly he didn't believe them either.

"Of course. Mr. Parker knows that he will die in prison. Does this give him a 'get out of jail free' card? Absolutely not. However, these crimes would not have happened had he had the correct medical attention from the start. Mr. Parker apologized for the pain and suffering that he had caused to both families involved."

"Yes, but how sorry would he have been if he had found Isabella before she reached Mr. Cullen's house? His only remorse is being unable to exercise complete and utter control over Isabella."

I didn't want to think about that. My nightmares were often based around him catching me before Nora had found me. He wouldn't have been sorry in the slightest - he would have killed me without thinking twice.

"We cannot change what happened, but what we can change is the further trauma and the further ordeal that the victim and these families would have to go through. I ask the court to recognize and consider and factor this into this sentence. Again, Mr. Parker understands this, but this court can fashion a sentence in a way that does give him some programmatic possibilities. He will need some help, and The Defense asks that you allow him the chance to receive that help. Thank you for you time, your Honor."

"Mr. Parker, would you like to say anything before I continue the sentencing?" The judge continued to ask.

"…No."

"If he understood he would be apologizing for his actions and saying that he would do anything to take it all back. But he didn't. He doesn't care. He's only sorry that he got caught. _He knows that he will die in prison - _does that sound like someone mentally insane? He knew exactly what he was doing, and you cannot use disorders as an excuse."

0-0

**August, 2018.**

_Things were changing. _

_There was a strange atmosphere in the air. It almost felt like James was getting prepared for something. I had been here for so long now that I knew to be scared - whatever he had planned, there is a high chance that I will only end up getting hurt because of it. I have lost count how many bruises I had, or how many times I have woken up to him abusing my body. I should be thankful that I haven't had a period in months - an unwanted pregnancy would only make things worse. _

_As always I was sat on the rug, staring at the empty room that had quickly become my new home. James had somehow managed to purchase a large supply of candles and had made a large circle using the candles. Once the circle was complete he gave me a wicked grin and left the room. I had no idea what he was doing, but I had seen enough movies to know that this was usually the sign of a ritual. I think it had something to do with The Coven. _

_Before anything else could happen, or I could get lost in thought, Victoria tip-toed into the room and crouched down in front of me. She looked around cautiously, almost like she didn't want to get caught talking to me. That had also changed - Victoria no longer acted like a criminal and had even smuggled food to me when James wasn't looking. I still didn't trust her, but I couldn't work out why she had changed her ways. Did she feel bad for everything that she had done to me? Had she somehow grown a heart in the months that I had been here? None of it made sense. _

_"Follow my lead." She whispered with a stern voice. _

_I frowned in response. Follow her lead? What did that mean?_

_"Fuck." She rubbed her forehead angrily. "If you want to get out of here then you need to follow my damn lead. Get it?" _

I'm getting out of here? She's going to help me escape?

Or is this another trick?

_I know that Victoria is a hostage just like me, but if she wanted to help me escape then why has she waited until I am at my weakest? I can't even stand, let alone walk or even run! _

_I remembered back to the day that I was taken - it played so clearly in my head. Before Victoria threw me up against the side of my truck, she said: "I'm so sorry". Was that part of the act, or was she apologizing for what she was about to do to me? James is an incredibly powerful man and so she wouldn't have had a say in the matter. He made her trick me into caring, therefore landing me into their trap. Had she felt regret this whole time? Had she been waiting for this moment to appear; the moment where I could run to safety? _

_Again, I wasn't going to trust her until it happened. _

_However I didn't have to wait for long. James came barging into the room before Victoria had the chance to stand up straight. He asked her what she was doing, and she simply said that she was getting me prepared for the 'show'._

_"Ah, yes!" He clapped. "Isabella, my dear, the time has come! The Coven are pleased with what they have seen, however they wish to set you one last task before you can properly become one of us." _

_"I love this game!" Victoria cheered, but her stern look reminded me to follow her lead. Whatever that meant. _

So, we're playing a game? Is that the 'show' I had to be prepared for?

_So many questions ran through my head, yet I was still to receive any answers. _

_"The Coven need to see how strong you are - your ability to hunt and to hide." Without a warning, James lifted me up from the ground so that I was standing. "In a minute we will go outside. You will have thirty seconds to run in any direction you please before we come and chase you down… If you can manage fifteen minutes without being caught then The Coven will have their answer. If you're caught before that time then clearly you weren't strong enough in the first place. But don't worry, I'll find a nice tree to bury you under." _

_I was thankful that I didn't have any food in my stomach, otherwise I would have vomited all over James' boots. _

_This was literally a life or death situation. _

_In fifteen minutes, everything was going to change. I'd either become part of this strange cult, or I'd be dead. I knew that James wasn't joking anymore - he would kill me quite easily. _

_The number of times that I had wanted to die before now, but I had found the strength to keep going. I no longer had that choice. If I was caught before my fifteen minutes were up, I imagine I wouldn't live to hear the timer go off. _

_James left the room for a second and returned with some clothes and a pair of shoes in his hands. He told me that it wouldn't be fair if I went outside without anything on my feet. The clothes consisted of a pair of gym shorts and a baggy t-shirt, and the shoes were at least double my size. The stench that James carried lingered on the clothing, but I was used to it at this point. _

_"Let's go!' He shouted excitedly._

_It is a very strange feeling to put all of your weight on your feet after sitting down for so many months. I left like a baby giraffe that had just been born - stumbling around with no sense of balance, trying to work out how to use their feet. My lack of balance and strength sent a well-known wave of fear through my body - there was no way in hell I could manage fifteen minutes before they caught up with me. _

I'm so sorry, Dad. I love you.

_I was led out of the main doors and into the open woods that surrounded this building. A rain storm had just started, which made walking even more difficult. I thought I would have welcomed the feeling of fresh air against my skin, but I was far too sad and scared to care. _

_"On your marks…" James literally gave me no time at all to prepare myself. "Thirty seconds start… now!" _

_I put all of my energy in placing one foot in front of the other, and I used the tree branches to keep myself upright. I had no idea where to go, but it honestly didn't matter. It wasn't like I was going to find help anyway. _

_Thirty seconds seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it, I heard James shouting that my time was up and they were coming to find me. I had to keep going, I couldn't give up. _

"FUCK!" _James' scream echoed from the trees behind me. _"What the hell are you doing?! You stupid cunt!" _I wanted to know what was happening, but I had to keep going. I ignored the pain that rippled through my body - it was nothing compared to a bullet in your brain. _

"ISABELLA! RUN!"

_That was Victoria. Had she managed to distract him? Is this what she meant by 'follow my lead'? _

_The screams told me that he was hurt, so I automatically assumed that Victoria had done something to stop him from coming after me. She was giving me a chance to escape. She hadn't been lying… _

_From up ahead I saw a faint beam of light glistening through the trees. More lights appeared as I made my way closer and closer towards them._

_They were streetlights. _

_Streetlights meant houses, and houses meant… people! _

_People with phones, who had the ability to call the police. Who had the ability to help me. _

_My body protested as I continued to walk, but I knew I wouldn't be safe until I had reached those houses. _

_I refused to give up or look behind me. The rain had soaked through my clothing and shoes, but I couldn't stop looking at those lights. As silly as it may sound, the lights alone had made me cry. I had been shut away in darkness for so long. _

_I took a few slips and stumbles, but I finally made it to the street without James catching up with me. I had reached the first house, however it felt too close to the woods, so I wanted to continue walking a little further before I knocked on a door. _

_In order to continue, I had to stop and catch my breath. A car sat in the driveway of the first house, so I used it as an aid to rest upon, when all of a sudden a loud bark came from somewhere nearby. I didn't have the time to move before an animal, that seemed like the size of a bear, made its way over to me. At first I thought it was a bear - the dog was large and black, with more strength in one paw than I had in my entire body. _

"Nora?" _A guy called out, but I couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. The dog - who I assumed to be Nora - continued to bark and then ran off to find their owner. That was my opportunity to keep going as planned, but the dog appeared again before I could get very far. I didn't know a lot about dogs, or their behavior, but I had a feeling that Nora wanted to help me. I had a feeling that she had raised the alarm. _

_I could just make out the silhouette of a man as he walked down his driveway. I had wanted to keep going, but what if this was the only opportunity that I had? I couldn't risk getting caught, or being outside for a minute longer. _

_A look of realization and panic flashed across the man's face as he took in the sight of me. He might refuse to help, but I had to try. _

_A barrier had formed in my throat, but I fought against it. "Help me." I spoke for the first time in three months. _

0-0

**June 14th, 2019.**

Eric Dahlin spent a few minutes sorting his papers and looking over the statements from everyone who had spoken. Those minutes felt like hours because we all knew what would happen when he made his official speech.

"To start off I'd like to say sorry to the family of Cara Jennings and to Isabella Swan for everything that you have endured. It is impossible for anyone to comprehend what you are going through right now. It is clear from the impact statements just how much this has effected everybody involved - blood related or not. I wish that the Justice System could make you whole again; I wish we could go back in time so that Cara and Isabella never had to endure such tragedy, but I and the Justice System cannot do that. It is my hope that today can bring you a bit of closure to this awful nightmare and bring back a sense of safety and security.

"One of my favorite phrases is 'with liberty and justice for all', and that is what I am here for - to make sure that justice is done. I have considered the statements from the victims and the statements from the defendant, but I need to consider the offense and the nature of the offense. Mr. Parker, you intentionally kidnapped two innocent girls - one ten years before the other, and then intentionally murdered one when you didn't get your own way. Mr. Parker, you have stolen the safety from Isabella which she mentioned in her own statement. Even police cannot enter a home without the owner's permission, yet you made your way into her house, her only safe space, and took that comfort from her. I consider the fact that you planned this - every step of the way - and these are shockingly not normally and I have no idea what rehabilitation can be provided for you.

"I have witnessed a lot of crimes in my career and my years as a judge, but nothing lives up to this, and the steps that you took. Mr. Parker, not only are you a danger to Isabella Swan, but you are also an extreme danger to the public in general. I looked into the statements from the pre-sentence investigator and your interview with them. No-one has included what you said, but I have to. You went on to say: '_I had bad thoughts of kidnapping a young girl and keeping her hostage and completely controlling her. At first I fought them, but after a while I stopped fighting my fantasies. I thought about it every day, and then one day, as I was driving around town, I saw Cara Jennings. It took no time at all to make my fantasies a reality. We were content for many years before the same feelings returned. Now I was just waiting for an opportunity.' _

"There is no doubt in my mind that you are one of the most dangerous men to ever walk on this planet. There is talk about your remorse, but there is a difference between regret and remorse - regret means that you are sorry you were caught, remorse means you have empathy for your victims. I have no doubt that you have no remorse. The over-riding factor is the protection of the public; to repeat my favorite phrase 'with liberty and justice for all'. You are the embodiment of evil and the public can only be safe if you are incarcerated until you die.

"Consequently, regarding count one, the court is imposing for the homicide of Cara Jennings, I am sentencing you to thirty-five years imprisonment without the possibility of release. On count two, the intended kidnapping of both Cara Jennings and Isabella Swan, I am sentencing you to the maximum of fifty years. Finally, regarding count three - the combination of the rape and assault, I am sentencing you to forty years imprisonment. Consecutive of counts one and two. Mr. Parker, you will be one-hundred and sixty years old before you are even considered for release. You may as well make yourself at home - you won't step foot outside of those walls for the rest of your miserable life.

"Mr. Parker will start his sentencing immediately. We're adjourned."

And just like that, a sense of freedom returned.

0-0

**That is honestly the longest and hardest chapter that I have ever written. **

**As always, any updates or important information about this story will be over on my Facebook group - RosieRathbone Fanfiction. **

**I would love to know what you thought and whether or not James has received the correct punishment? Let me know! **


	30. Chapter 29

**Thank you for all of the love that you gave the last chapter. Bella appreciates your support! I'm sorry for how long this took - life is kicking me down at the moment - but I promise I am doing my best to get the chapters written as quickly as possible. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 29.

**June 30th, 2019  
****Edward.**

I knew it had been a long day when I was ready to sleep by eleven o'clock; usually it's gone midnight before I start to feel tired. Nothing major had even happened today, but I think the late nights and early mornings had started to pile up on top of me. The plush pillow and soft comforter felt like a blessing as I readied myself to sleep, in hope that I would wake up the following morning rested and ready to face the day ahead.

Of course, luck was not on my side. I swear it had only been five minutes after my eyes had closed when my cell phone began to vibrate dramatically against the wood of the bedside table. Unless there was a family emergency, I already knew who would have been calling before I looked at the phone screen.

"Hey, Charlie." I tried my best to hide my groggy voice, but he caught on instantly.

"I'm sorry for waking you, Edward."

"It's okay. What's up?" I couldn't hear heartbreaking screams in the background, so at least that was one good thing.

"I'm needing to attend an incident near La Push. Are you able to come and keep an eye on Bells?"

I was already out of bed before he had asked me that question. I knew that Charlie wouldn't get called out unless it was necessary, plus I was used to my father doing the same thing. "Absolutely. I'll be fifteen minutes?"

"Thank you. I appreciate this."

After ending the call, I located a pair of sneakers, threw on a hoodie, and a pair of pajama pants, and found an outfit to wear tomorrow. Fortunately, I already had my laptop and other essentials packed, so all I had to do was grab my bag, and then I was good to go. There was no way of knowing how long Charlie would be out for, plus he had work tomorrow anyway, so I didn't see much point in coming home. Depending on how tired I felt in the morning, I had a feeling that Bella and I were going to have a relaxed day at home.

I barely saw another car on the road as I traveled across town from my hours to theirs. That is a plus point to living in a small town. I arrived precisely on time and found Charlie standing at the front door.

"Thank you." He said again and gave my back a solid pat as I made my way into the house. "I've told Bella, however, she is fast asleep so I doubt she took the information in."

"No need to thank me." I smiled and dropped my bag onto the floor. "It must be serious if they got you involved?" We kept our voices down so as not to awake Sleeping Beauty upstairs.

"I'm not sure about the details just now, but they know I'm not easily available for this type of job." That gave me the answer I was looking for. We didn't say much more after that - Charlie thanked me once again, and said that he would do his best not to disturb me when he arrived back home again.

Last year, when the three of us made the trip back to Forks, I would spend every evening sleeping on the old couch in the living room. It never bothered me too much, and I had much more to worry about than the state of my back. However Charlie felt awful that he couldn't offer me a proper bed to sleep in, and so he graciously disposed of the old couch, and replaced it with a sleeper sofa. Even when I'm spending the nights in my place, Bella often uses this to nap on during the day if she didn't want to make the trip upstairs.

In the fifteen minutes between our phone call and my arrival, Charlie had found some spare cushions and a blanket and had even pulled out the bed for me. I double-checked that the door was locked before I toed off my shoes and tried to sleep for the second time that evening. I left my pants and hoodie on, mainly for warmth, but also in case Bella needed me during the night. I didn't want to run into her room with just a pair of boxers on, y'know?

I don't know how long I had been asleep for, but it didn't feel like any time had passed before I woke up once again. This time it was from the whisper of my name.

_"Edward…" _At first, the voice blended in with my dreams. _"Edward…" _It took me a second to realize where the voice was coming from, and when I opened my eyes I spotted a timid-looking Bella standing right next to me. Luna had followed her down the stairs and stood patiently beside her.

"Hey, sweetheart." I wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Where's Charlie?"

"He's been called out to La Push. Do you need him for something?" She shook her head slightly. After our ordeal with the court sentencing, we had noticed a big difference with her voice. It took a few days for Bella to speak openly after that had happened, however, her short sentences no longer held much of a delay. We have a feeling that it had something to do with the strength Bella felt after standing up to James and showing him who was boss. We still had days where the mutism took control and she would say very little, but I suppose that is only to be expected.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked.

"Can I sleep here? I don't like… being upstairs alone." Her longer sentences would hold a short gap, but it is a major improvement from before.

"Of course you can." I would jump off a cliff if she asked me to.

I shuffled over to the side of the bed and opened out the covers for her to curl into. "Just as long as Luna isn't going to sleep here too - there might not be enough room for all three of us." I joked. The two of them often shared a bed, even though Luna had a perfectly good bed of her own.

"No." Bella laughed quietly.

"That's alright then."

"Thank you." She whispered into her pillow.

"For what?" Honestly, the number of times she apologizes for the silliest of things.

"Letting me sleep… here."

"You don't need to thank me for that, sweetheart."

I found myself stroking back her hair as she fell into a blissful sleep. It took me a little longer before my eyes finally closed, however it was more important to me that Bella felt safe and comfortable. I wouldn't want to leave her awake and possibly fearing the world around her.

0-0

**July 1st, 2019.**

I vaguely remembered Charlie arriving home at one point during the night, but I wasn't awake long enough for it to cause any damage. However, when I woke up properly the next morning, I was surprised to see Bella curled up beside me with her arm placed across my chest. I don't know whether she usually hugged Luna and so automatically did the same thing with me, but it amazed me how comfortable she was sharing a bed with a guy. After everything that she had been through, you would have thought that this would be one of her biggest fears. Not that I minded, of course, but it was definitely a nice surprise.

I laid there for thirty minutes, scrolling through my phone mindlessly before Bella also woke up. Her arm never moved in that time, and I wasn't going to be the one to change that. I couldn't help but wonder, however, whether or not Charlie had noticed us when he arrived home. No doubt he would have checked on Bella, and perhaps he came downstairs again when he saw that her bed was empty? I don't think he would have had an issue with it, but you never can tell.

When Bella realized what she was doing, and how she was lying, she swiped back her arm like somebody had held a flame against it. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"Did I look uncomfortable?"

"No…"

"Then there's no need to say sorry." I shot her a smile before I turned my attention back to Twitter.

We stayed like that for several minutes. I wasn't sure whether Bella was a fan of the news articles I read on Twitter, however she read them with me. It was a sweet silence, and both of us were quite comfortable until Luna needed to be let out. I could have happily stayed there for some time.

0-0

"So, what would you like to do today?" I asked as I handed Bella her bowl of oatmeal with banana.

"Um… go for a walk?"

"Sure! The weather is meant to be nice."

I brewed a fresh pot of coffee and sorted out Luna's breakfast before I fixed my own. I was too tired to make anything special, so I went for a simple bowl of cereal. It was as I was placing the milk back into the refrigerator, that I spotted the raw chicken sitting on the bottom shelf which reminded me of something.

"Are you wanting to make dinner tonight?" I asked Bella - she had mentioned wanting to get back into cooking, and so we had picked out the ingredients for easy meals.

Bella swallowed her mouthful of oatmeal as she thought over my question. "I can… see how I feel?"

I shot her a wink. "That's all we ask, beautiful."

We enjoyed our breakfast in silence until we heard Charlie making his way down the stairs. The sleep was clear in his eyes, which told me that he could have done with an extra couple hours of sleep. It didn't surprise me when he headed straight for the coffee maker.

"How did it go last night?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "Some drunk kids were messing about on the roads. They could've handled it without me."

That sounded pretty serious to me, but what did I know? I had a feeling that Charlie wasn't pleased with being called out, especially as they all knew that he was no longer available for off-duty calls. Especially in the middle of the night.

"Are you okay, Bells? I saw you downstairs last night?"

Fear and anxiety rushed through me. It could have been that he was looking out for his daughter, but chances are he saw us cuddling and I had no idea whether or not he approved of that sort of thing. I think I hid my panic pretty well. Hopefully it didn't show in my eyes.

"I didn't… like being upstairs alone… Edward said I could… stay down here."

I swear I just about jumped out of my seat when I felt a strong hand clap my shoulder. "Thank you."

I let out a nervous laugh when I realized that Charlie wasn't pissed with me. "Oh, er, yeah, it's no problem." _'Cause that doesn't sound at all suspicious… _

Once the breakfast had been cleared up, and Charlie had set off for work, Bella worked on her morning exercises and I tidied up the covers and cushions from the night before. My anxiety from earlier had passed, and now I could relax and properly enjoy our morning.

I kept Luna entertained with a tennis ball as Bella went upstairs to get changed. The happy puppy bounded around the room as she followed said ball, and let out soft growls when it rolled under a seat and she could no longer reach it. We continued this game right up until Bella returned, and Luna snapped back into the protector. She knew the difference between working and playing and knew that she had a job to do every time her harness was clipped on, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't look out for Bella everywhere they went. Charlie couldn't have picked a better companion, or a smarter one.

"All set?" I asked as I zipped up my outdoor jacket. The sun was shining through the overcast clouds, but it's always best to be prepared for a downpour.

"Yep." She smiled, pulled her hood over her head, and held out Luna's harness for the dog to poke her head through. Bella double-checked that everything was in the right place before she clipped the harness together. "Good girl." She praised.

It always felt good to go for a walk, especially when we didn't have a route in place. We'd set off in one direction and see where the path took us. Sometimes we would take a short walk around the block, but other times, if Bella felt up to it, we'd head into the direction of town. Because of Luna's size, on the days that she isn't training, Charlie or I would take her for a second walk later on in the day. Just to make sure that she received the right amount of exercise.

"It's cold…" Bella commented once we had cleared her driveway. It was the middle of 'summer' in Forks, and she was dressed in a hoodie, a jacket, and pair of sweatpants, and yet she still felt cold. I had a feeling that this walk was not going to last long if she continued to shiver.

"There's meant to be a heatwave next week," I said that in an attempt to brighten her mood, but regardless of the weather, Bella's outfits never changed.

"We could… have a barbecue?"

I appreciated the question, as a chance to change the subject. We discussed all the food items for said barbecue - steak, potato salad, corn, burgers… it was enough to make me salivate. Bella said that Charlie's main skill was operating a grill and that he would love nothing more than to spend an afternoon manning his station. He wouldn't allow anyone to help, and of course, he would have an ice-cold beer constantly in one hand.

"Let's pray for some sun then, shall we?"

During our walk, I noticed how Bella would constantly shove one hand into her pocket, or she would pull the sleeve over the hand that held Luna's leash. She must have been colder than I first imagined. "Hey," I pulled us to a stop. I rubbed my hands together to warm them up, and then took Bella's free hand between them both. I brought the bundle close to my lips to blow some warm air inside. "Is this doing anything?" I laughed. It seemed appropriate in my head.

"…Yeah." A rosy blush blossomed over her cheeks. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Once the first hand had been warmed up, I asked Bella to drop Luna's leash briefly so that I could work on the other hand too. Like before, I blew warm air into our mass of hands and prayed that my breath was warm enough to do the job. When it came time to continuing onwards, Bella didn't hesitate to take a hold of my right hand. At first, I thought it was for the warmth again.

"Is this okay…?" She asked hesitantly.

It wasn't for the warmth - she just wanted to hold it.

And I was more than okay with that.

They stayed together for the rest of our walk.

0-0

Luna brought the situation to our attention as we were nearing the house again. She pulled Bella to a halt and took a step forward to make sure that she was that little bit in front. A small growl vibrated through the dog. Bella focused on nothing but the ground beneath our feet. We both knew that the dog wouldn't make us stop if it wasn't something serious.

Luna never took her eyes off of the man who had his hands cupped around his eyes to get a better look through the living room window. The man was tall, well-built, and a complete stranger to me. Luna's reaction told me that he was a stranger to her, too.

"Sweetheart, I need to see who's at the house." I stroked Bella's cheek to try and get her to respond to me. The fear rippled from her body. "Do you want to stay with me, or do you want to sit here with Luna?"

"Edward…" Her voice was quiet - like a soft whisper. A plea to keep her safe.

I held her face in my hands. "You're perfectly safe, love. We wouldn't let anyone hurt you."

"Bell?"

The second his voice was heard, two things happened at once. I threw my arms around Bella and held her in my protective cage. Luna lunged as far as her leash allowed her too, and warned the man not to take another step further. Her bark echoed down the street.

"Bell…"

Part of me wanted to let Luna off her leash, but the other part knew that she needed to stay beside Bella.

"It's best if you stay exactly where you are," I warned him.

"Who is it?" Bella's tiny voice rose from my chest.

"I don't know, but Luna has him under her command."

"Bell, it's me!" For whatever reason, the man refused to listen to me and took another step closer. I was seconds away from letting Luna show this idiot just how sharp her teeth are.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

The man stopped walking and ran a hand through his jet black hair. "I'm Jacob - Bella and I have been friends for years."

Unfortunately, I recognized his name. I recalled seeing 'Jacob' on Bella's old weekly planner.

"It's Jacob," I whispered down to her.

Bella moved her face away from my chest so to look for herself. Her teary eyes widened at the sight in front of her. "Jake…" A small smile played on her lips. I'd never seen her react like that after having such a shock, and for some reason that didn't sit well with me.

I called Luna down from her guard, and on Bella's command, we closed the distance between ourselves and Jacob. She practically flung herself into his arms once we were a step away. I could just make out her saying how she had missed him, and he replied with his apologies for taking so long to get here. I was sure that he meant well, and that he was simply concerned for his friend, but I couldn't help but wonder why it had taken him so long. All of the important people in Bella's life - her mother and Jacob - hadn't immediately traveled over when Bella came home. They hadn't phoned to see if she was okay, and would turn up in their own time. Bella accepted whatever bullshit excuse her mom made, and I knew that she would accept Jacob's as well. Maybe it is simply the person that she is, but I'm not like that.

Charlie needed these people for love and support when Bella went missing, and then Bella herself needed them when she returned. Fortunately, I was there to help both of them, but what if I hadn't been? What if I had cut my ties once the police were involved and Bella came back to Forks? They wouldn't have had anyone to help them, yet Renee and Jacob would use some shitty excuse and leave it at that?

"Edward." I shook my head briefly to rid myself of those frustrated thoughts. Bella had pointed an arm towards the front door, telling me that she wanted to go inside now. I dug around in my pants pocket to locate the keys and then unlocked the door. I noticed how Jacob had his arms carefully around Bella, almost as if he was helping her up the short flight of stairs. She no longer needed help, especially if there is a rail to hold on to, but he didn't know that. Once again my anger boiled up - he doesn't know what she needs help with, he doesn't know what she is capable of doing. He doesn't know anything at this point. If I had offered my help like that, Bella would have been quick to push me away - she's very stubborn. Yet Jacob makes the same mistake and gets away with it?

"What would you like for lunch today, sweetheart?" I asked once they were settled in the living room. I wasn't angry with her, so I needed to make sure that it didn't come across that way.

"You got any cold chicken?" Jacob cut in before Bella had the chance to talk.

"Uh… we might do?"

To that, Jacob rubbed his hands excitedly. "Why don't I make those chicken club sandwiches we used to love?"

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes, mainly because Bella had reacted badly to that particular word. Thankfully I knew that it was nothing serious, and nothing that Luna couldn't handle. "Why don't you leave the decision making up to me, okay?" I spat towards Jacob before I crouched down beside Bella and gave her a quick squeeze. "Charlie has vegetable soup in the cupboard. Would you like that?" She wanted vegetable soup, so I left the two of them 'talking' in the living room, as I prepared the food.

Jacob's deep voice carried through, which gave me the chance to listen in on everything he was saying. From what I could understand, Jacob lives in New York with his disabled father. He said that treatment was going well, and so I just assumed that they had moved out there for medical reasons. He made a joke about technology and not quite knowing how to use it, and after Bella's original phone had been stolen, he found it harder to get in contact. He apologized for staying away for so long, but that it was difficult to leave his father unattended until now.

Maybe he was telling the truth, and maybe he genuinely wanted to come over sooner but he couldn't find the time, but I still didn't believe him. I don't know anything about this guy, but I didn't get a good vibe from him.

I returned to the living room just as Jacob was asking what Bella had planned for tomorrow. She gave me a grateful smile as I placed the bowl of soup down in front of her. "Charlie's at home." She replied quietly. "Edward's working."

"Would it be okay if I came over again tomorrow? I'd love to see Charlie."

"Sure."

As the two of them talked, I loaded up my laptop so to check my emails and get as much work done as possible. I had been struggling recently to balance everything, which is why tomorrow when Charlie had a day off, I wasn't going to leave my house. Bella comes first, and always will come first, but I knew realistically that I wouldn't get very far without a solid income.

"Edward." Her sweet voice interrupted my thoughts once again.

"Yeah?"

Bella nodded her head in Jacob's direction. He understood her gesture and asked me the question that I must have missed. "I asked Bella if she'd want to go for a walk with the dog tomorrow? I could meet her in the park?"

At first, I wasn't sure why they needed to run that past me - I was certain that Charlie would have been more than happy with it. But then I caught onto what they were really asking me - whether or not Bella could go there by herself and meet Jacob alone. The park they were talking about wasn't far from the house, and it would only take Bella ten minutes to walk there, however, this would be the first time she had made that walk with only Luna for company.

"How do you feel about it?" I asked her. I needed her honest answer before I could decide anything.

"I think… I can do it."

Now, I don't want to be the person who crushes her dreams or who makes her feel less than capable, and as long as Jacob was there to meet her then I'm sure everything would be fine. I just didn't want her to risk anything.

"I think you should ask Charlie what he thinks of the idea. Maybe he'd offer to come with you?"

"Okay." Bella's smile told me that she was absolutely fine with my response. She knew that we were only looking out for her and that we'd make the right decision.

My anger towards Jacob only continued to bubble as they started up another conversation about funny times from years before. Along with a story where Bella once TP'd Jacob's house on Halloween. Apparently, a neighbor saw the act, phoned the cops, and Charlie turned up to find out that the vandal was his own daughter. I hadn't heard Bella laugh as much as she did when that story was told. It almost hurt that he had the ability to create such a reaction, but I didn't.

It was clear that the Bella I know, and the Bella that Jacob knows, are two completely different people.

As long as my Bella stays the same, I'll be okay with that.

Thankfully, for my own mental sanity, Jacob only stayed for a couple of hours before saying that he had to book into his B&B and was on his way. He promised to meet her at the park tomorrow. I tried to act normally - I tried to put my jealousy and anxiety behind me, but that was easier said than done. It was clear that Bella had loved having Jacob's company, and her happy mood vanished the minute that he left. I couldn't help but wonder whether or not she would have reacted the same way if I had left? I knew that she constantly begged for me to return when I lived in Oregon, but the devil inside of me made me think that was simply for protection.

Bella and Jacob have been friends for years, and it was clear that he was very fond of her, but did she hold the same feelings? She had mentioned having feelings for someone - is this the 'someone' she was talking about? Is that why she had reacted differently after the first initial shock of finding him at the house?

I hadn't felt jealousy in a long time, and it almost felt like a new feeling to me.

But why should I be jealous about this?

It would be wrong of me to stop her from having other friends, and I should be happy that he had made the trip over from New York. But part of me knew that that wasn't the case.

Part of me knew that my jealousy was for an entirely different reason.

0-0

**Jacob has finally arrived! What are your thoughts? How do you feel? And has Edward finally realised that he may have feelings towards her…? Let me know!**

**I have started a new story if you're wanting to check it out? It's called Chance Encounters, and the chapters are being uploaded much more regularly ;) **


	31. Chapter 30

**A lot of you have been wondering what life is now like for James, so I thought I would give you an insight in how I pictured it. **

**There are three separate POVs in this chapter - Bella's and 2 third person. Please keep that in mind when reading. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 30.

**June 21st, 2019.  
****3rd Person POV.**

It had been one week since James Parker had been thrown into the Oregon State Penitentiary. Rows upon rows of steel cages. Bland, mysterious foods were slopped down onto a tray, and maybe, if you're lucky enough, you'll get to finish your meal before someone threatened you for your dessert. Once the bars had been locked for the night, and the lights had been turned off, James Parker sat on his bed and stared at the blank, brick walls that made up his 'room'. Various inmates from nearby would call out, sing songs, or do their very best to piss James off. He was fresh meat and an easy target for the inmates.

_"Fiiish." _One man would call.

_"C'mon, Fish, you gonna take a bite?" _Another would follow.

'Fish' - the nickname for any new inmate. It didn't matter about his past or the reason he ended up here - everyone is a fish as soon as they walk through those doors. The hope is that he would react to the calling of names, which would bring the guards out from their hidey hole. The guards are often irritable, but even more so in the middle of the night when they have been taken from their dreams.

_"You better get comfy, Fish - you're gonna be here for a looong time." _

James did his best to block out the callings, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Sometimes he would cover his ears with his hands, but that seldom worked. All he could do was pray that they would have a new arrival soon, and James' nickname would get passed down to someone else. However, what he didn't know was that another nickname had been brewing - another name had started to pass around the prison, and this one would stick with him until the day that he died.

Harvey Coben had been a prison guard for ten years. He knew this place like the back of his hand and knew every inmate by name. He knew the ones to avoid, but he also knew the ones to go to when things turned ugly. Or, when he'd promised someone a favor. That particular someone just so happened to be Emmett Cullen.

Harvey and Emmett had trained together in the police force and still remained close friends when Harvey turned to guard work. Emmett knew exactly where James had been placed, and his love for Bella Swan told him that he had to do something about that. James needed a taste of his own medicine, and Emmett was going to make sure he had that spoonful. Whenever a new inmate arrives, the guards are given a short backstory as to why they are here. When Harvey heard Emmett's favor, he couldn't say no to it. Originally, Emmett had thought that Harvey would do the dirty work himself, but Emmett hadn't heard of Riley Biers before.

Harvey stood inconspicuously against the bars of Riley's cell, and to anyone else it just looked as though he was leaning against the wall, keeping a close eye on the world around him. "Biers," He whispered, and waited patiently for Riley to respond. Riley sat on the edge of his bed to hear Harvey's every word. "I've got some insight."

Riley Biers was originally from Forks, Washington, but he had moved out to Oregon for school. He never knew how difficult life could be financially when he no longer had his parent's money to live off, and when drugs are offered out on every corner, he was quick to accept it. He thought he could make good money from selling that stuff. To cut a long story short, he found himself in a dangerous game of cat and mouse, and after a shoot-out went wrong, Riley found himself in prison with a life sentence hanging over his head. His mom described him as a loving boy who wouldn't hurt a fly, but that all changes when you enter Hell. In the few years that Riley has been locked up, he'd managed to find himself a large group of 'friends' who always had his back - he was not to be messed with, and you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

"You're from Forks, right?" Harvey asked, to which Riley nodded. "You know of Bella Swan?"

Riley didn't know the girl personally, but he knew her father; Charlie is very well respected in Forks. People in a small town look out for each other, and nothing good ever comes from destroying the peace it held. Not only that, but James Parker is the Fish, and Riley loved nothing more than to give people a proper welcoming.

That was all it took for Harvey to stick to his promise, and for James to have the worst start possible. Whenever they had to do yard work or sat to have lunch, Riley made sure to test the waters - see how James would react, and which buttons to press. In his head he had plans of cornering James in the showers, placing contraband in his cell, or simply bring Bella up in conversation wherever possible.

"Hey, Vampire Boy," Riley smirked and tapped his jugular with one hand. They were in the yard; James had found a quiet spot on the benches, but there was just enough space for Riley and a few of his friends to sit beside him.

"Fuck you," James snarled and turned his attention back towards the dying grass beneath his feet.

"Is that what Bella said before she slipped through your fingers?" The tensing of James' fist told Riley that his plan was working, and so he kept on talking. "It must be a kick in the teeth that you're in here and she's back at home, right?"

James refused to reply and tried has best he could to ignore Riley's comments. They continued coming his way up until the guards shouted for them to come back inside - yard time was over, and so was the constant torment. For now.

Once dinner had been eaten and the jobs had been completed for the day, James headed towards the shower block for his allotted time.

"Alright, Vampire Boy?" A man appeared around the shower curtain. He looked hungrily over James' naked body. "I've got a fresh one for ya." Just like Riley had done, this man tapped his neck to indicate a vampire bite. Any strange quirk about a person quickly became their biggest weakness in prison. It didn't take long for the inmates to find out about James' fascination, which is how the nickname came about, and the easiest way to wind him up.

James didn't say a word and continued to wash the shampoo from his shaggy hair. The bullying would only get worse if he reacted to it. But unfortunately for him, prison is not the same as high school - they want you to react, and get annoyed when you pay them little attention.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" The man shouted. Usually, a guard would have heard the raised voices and would quickly put an end to the argument, but the guard on bathroom duty today was none other than Harvey Coben. He heard the argument loud and clear, but he acted as though nothing had happened.

"What?" James asked, praying to God that the man would walk away and he could return to the safety of his cell.

The man looked once again over the naked body before him and licked his lips as tempting thoughts filled his head. "It's a shame I've only got a couple more years in here - we could have had so much fun."

"You make me sick."

"Sick?" The man parroted and stepped closer and closer into the shower cubicle, without a care in the world for the clothes he wore. "I make you sick? What about the poor girls who you treated like garbage? You made them sick, but that wasn't enough to stop you, was it?"

"You don't know shit." James shut off the water and reached for his towel.

From behind his back, the man pulled out a shiv that had been made from sharpening the end of a toothbrush. It may not have been a blade, but it was certainly sharp enough to make some serious damage. He held it up against James' throat. "I know more than you think, Vampire Boy. Riley Biers knows exactly who you are and what you've done…"

"He doesn't scare me."

"He doesn't have to, but just know that Riley will get what he wants. You fucked with the Chief's daughter, and that doesn't sit well with him. You should probably remember that you're alone in this world, whereas he has a lot of men on his side along with a few guards… They could make your murder look like suicide."

With that threat still in the air, the man left the cubicle and walked straight out of the bathroom. As he passed Harvey Coben two cigarettes were slipped into his hand. He had done his job, received his reward, and simply waited for the next time he was needed.

0-0

**July 2nd, 2019.  
****Bella**

"Bells, I really don't feel comfortable with this…" Today I was planning on going for a walk with Luna and Jacob, but it was clear that I was the only one who didn't see an issue with this idea.

"I'll be fine."

I understood why Charlie was nervous, and I appreciated his care, but I had to do this for myself. I felt like I wouldn't improve if little things, like taking a walk to the park, stopped me from leaving the house every day. How was I supposed to get back to work if I couldn't even go on a walk by myself? I had Luna, and Jacob was going to meet me there - I'd be okay.

"How about I walk you there and Jacob can walk you home again?"

Before now I would have accepted his offer and gone with it, but today is different, and I wasn't just doing this for myself. I no longer wanted to appear feeble in front of Edward.

My feelings towards him have changed dramatically over the last few weeks - I had even started noticing different things that only made me more attracted to him. Little quirks that he had, or his OCD moments. I had picked up on the fact that when we eat a meal Edward needs to make sure that everything is lined up neatly; his cutlery cannot be thrown around the plate, and his drinking glass even had to sit on the top right corner. If anyone gave him a drink and they put it anywhere else, he would be very quick to adjust the placement. OCD is an anxiety disorder, and so it's no surprise that he had these tendencies, but they can be hard to spot, and he always looks so damn cute whenever he does something new.

"What time are you meeting him?" Charlie drank some of his coffee as he thought about my idea.

"Twelve." It was currently nine-thirty, and Luna had just left for one of her training sessions, so she would be back in plenty of time for us to go.

"Jacob couldn't meet you here?"

He could have met me here, but what was I going to gain from repeating the same thing?

"Please?" It's not often that I beg, and I knew it was a childish thing to do, but it was my only option.

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I allowed you to leave this house as vulnerable as you are."

I knew that that was Charlie's secret way of saying '_doing my job as your carer.' _

I didn't want to have a carer. I have always lived an incredibly independent life, even from a young age, and I was more than used to looking after myself. Of course I knew that things were different now, and my life wasn't going to be the same again, but the word 'carer' only made it sound scarier and ten times more real.

"_He _can't hurt me… anymore."

I had made myself realize and come to terms with the fact that James was behind bars, and will be for the rest of his life.

Charlie let out a tired sigh and took the seat next to me. He stared down at the table and flattened out his mustache with one hand.

"Honey…" Whatever he wanted to say must have been difficult to put into words. "That piece of shit is gone for good, but his impact on your mental health is very real. He may not be able to hurt you, but your mind still has that capability."

"When will I be ready?" If I didn't start practicing now, who knows how long it'll be before I could make these walks by myself, or leave the house to get something from the supermarket? The longer I leave it, the worse and harder it'll be.

"I'm not saying it'll be forever, sweetheart, but you've not done this before. We need to take baby steps before jumping straight into the deep end."

"I'll have Luna… and Jake will be there when I arrive."

"Luna isn't fully trained yet."

"Please?" I begged once more. How else was I ever going to learn to do things by myself? I couldn't let my mental health control me, and I had to find a way to overcome my struggles.

Charlie looked down at the dog who sat between our seats. "You've always been so stubborn… nothing I say is going to change your mind."

I smiled at the triumph. This was Charlie's way of accepting my offer, no matter if he liked it or not.

"I'll be okay."

There was another slight delay as he thought some more. "If anything happens - and I mean _anything - _I won't allow you to do this again. I really don't think this is a smart option, but there's not much I can say."

"Thank you."

0-0

I decided to leave at eleven-fifty-five. It took ten minutes to get there, so if I arrived after twelve o'clock then it gave Jacob a few extra minutes in case he wasn't there on time.

I had my backpack filled with all of the essential items, including a few new things, like a water bowl for Luna and a spare sweater in case I got too cold. I double-checked that it held everything I needed and even Charlie looked through the bag himself in case he noticed something that I had forgotten.

I had spoken to Edward briefly on the phone when he took a break from work, and he told me everything that Charlie had said, but he was more concerned about Jacob. I knew that Edward wasn't a fan of him, especially after the way he had reacted yesterday when Jacob had appeared suddenly at the house. He tried to hide his feelings the best he could, but I saw straight through them. It made me sad that he didn't like my closest friend, but I guess not everyone has to get along.

_"Promise me that you'll stay safe?" _Edward had asked before we ended the call.

"I will."

_"If Jacob isn't there when you arrive I want you to give me a call, okay? Don't worry about interrupting me - you're far too important." _

That put a smile on my face, and it didn't fade until I had left the house and I was on my own for the first time in over a year. I stared at the concrete slabs beneath my feet, mainly so that I wouldn't peer at all the passersby. I had to remind myself that they didn't want anything to do with me, and they were minding their own business just like I was, but it's much easier said than done.

_Put one foot in front of the other and keep walking at a steady pace. _

I knew the way to the park like the back of my hand, so at least I didn't have to worry about directions or where to go. I even found myself whispering various comments to Luna when I was certain that no-one could hear me.

"Stay alert," I said. "We need to… prove Charlie wrong."

They were right to be concerned and I knew why they had their worries, but I had to show them that I was strong enough to do this. The last thing I wanted was for them to regret their decision.

_I know I can do this. _

_One foot in front of the other… _

_Focus on the journey, not the people around me. _

I repeated the same motivational words as we slowly made our way towards the park. The entrance was in sight, and all I had to do was get there, meet Jake and then I'd be fine.

But life is never that simple.

The second I passed the gates, my phone vibrated in my pants pocket. At first, I assumed it was going to be either Charlie or Edward making sure I had made it here in one piece, but it turned out to be a message from Jacob.

**I'm so sorry, Bella. I was on the phone with Dad. Will be ten minutes!**

I had already made it to the park, so I could last another ten minutes… right?

But his lateness didn't make any sense - Jacob would have used his cell phone to call Billy, so why couldn't he have walked to the park as he was talking to him? I wouldn't mind waiting until he had finished talking, just as long as Jacob was standing there beside me. That is all that mattered.

Luna peered up at me with her warm, hazel eyes. It felt as though she was telling me, in her own way, that she would protect me. Nothing could possibly go wrong with her protection and an empty park.

But what if something _did _go wrong?

What if the fact that I am all alone meant that I wouldn't receive help if I needed it?

Would Luna know what to do in that situation?

Unfortunately, constant over-thinking caused my mind to run. I couldn't shut it out - I didn't have an on/off switch to tune out all the negative thoughts. They seeped through my head and there was no way of stopping it.

The anger towards my friend didn't seem to help either.

_I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. _

_But what if I'm not fine? _

I was seconds away from phoning Edward - like I had promised to do - but Luna took control before I had the ability to complete any sort of task. She had picked up on my agitation and tremors and slowly walked me towards a bench where I could sit down.

But I never made it that far.

My vision was the first to go, followed closely by my hearing and an intense feeling of nausea and dizziness.

The only way I could describe it is like a static television screen - the harsh noise that blocked out any other noise around you. Nothing made sense, and when the tunnel vision appeared, I knew I was in big, big trouble.

I knew what was about to happen, but that only made the panic worse. I needed to sit down and I needed medication, but that task was too difficult for me and unfortunately, Luna is still in training when it came to fetching my medication for me. It felt as though my heart was about to beat out of my chest, and with every breath that I took my throat and lungs felt tighter and tighter.

_Charlie. _I cried for my dad, who told me not to go on this walk. I needed him more than anything, however, it was incredibly difficult for me to pull my cell phone from my pants pocket; the tremors in my hands were so strong that I could barely hold onto Luna's leash, let alone take something from a tight space.

_Charlie, Edward… _

I felt the pull on the leash as Luna tried to bring me to the ground. I knew to follow her lead, but that was when it all went wrong.

My knees buckled and I no longer could hold myself upright.

If I had been conscious as I fell, I would have covered my head to save it from the impact.

My head smacked off the hard ground.

The silence took over as my eyes rolled back…

0-0

**3rd Person**

The second that Bella's body fell to the ground, Luna knew she needed to do something to help. She pawed away at her owner's knees and licked her cheeks to try and get some sort of response. When none of that seemed to work, Luna went for the next best thing. Is it a coincidence that her trainer had gone over the 'get help' command just that morning?

Luna needed to get help - Bella's life was at risk and she would stop at nothing to make sure she was okay again. Whenever they practiced this command they always had someone else standing by so Luna knew who to run to. When she returned she would get a treat. But now they were all alone - no-one was standing a few feet away like in training. She surveyed the empty area, put all of her weight onto Bella's front, and let out three loud barks, hoping that maybe someone will appear if they heard them.

As this was going on, Mrs. Jenson had just entered the park with her daughter's Beagle - Bonnie. Mrs. Jenson had never owned a dog but had offered to look after Bonnie while her daughter was out of town for a few days. She was happy to see that the park was empty when they arrived - the last thing she wanted was to get caught up with other dogs, or even other people; a quick loop around the park and then they could go home again. Bonnie was a lovely dog, but she can be a lot of work, especially when this is the first dog you've ever owned.

Mrs. Jenson had heard the barks coming from the opposite side, but never gave them a second thought and continued on her way.

It was only a couple of minutes later when a large, black and tan dog was seeing sprinting straight towards her. At first, from the size of the dog, Mrs. Jenson was quite intimidated; she spotted the loose leash waving in the wind behind her and instantly thought badly of this dog's owner.

_Who in their right mind would let a dog of this size out of their sight? _

As the dog came closer and closer, Mrs. Jenson took a defensive pose, unsure of what the dog wanted to do, but then she noticed the harness. The dog continued to bark, however Mrs. Jenson was too busy reading the various patches that covered the harness. One patch, in particular, stood out to her.

_In Case of Emergency, Do Not Separate Service Dog from Handler. _

An uneasy feeling filled her body - this dog would not have left their owner's side unless something had happened. She had seen service dogs in action before and knew that it was very unlikely that they'd wander away. That was the moment Mrs. Jenson realized that this dog was barking for attention, and didn't think twice before following the dog to wherever they needed to go.

"Oh, my goodness." Mrs. Jenson gasped as she came across the unconscious young lady. The service dog returned to lying across their owner but gave Mrs. Jenson just enough room to check the lady's pulse and breathing. She held the back of one hand near the lady's nose and mouth, and thankfully she could feel a faint breath blow against her skin.

"Miss? Miss, can you hear me?" That was when she noticed a gash on the side of the lady's temple from where she had hit her head. Mrs. Jenson knew basic first aid, but she also knew that back-up was needed. With a shaky hand, she fished around in her jacket pockets before finding her cell phone and instantly called 911. When a dispatcher answered the call, she asked for an ambulance, gave her location, and then a brief run-down of what had happened, including the bleeding gash and the service dog.

_"Miss, can you check the service dog for emergency contacts for me? They are usually kept in a zipped pocket on the side of the harness." _

Clearly very panicked, Mrs. Jenson agreed to the command. The first pocket came up empty, but in the second pocket she found a small white card with all of the information printed upon it. Her heart sank when she realized it was Charlie Swan's daughter. The entire town had felt the impact when Isabella went missing.

"The patient is Isabella Swan." She read off every piece of information from the card, including her diagnosis, her medication, and even Charlie Swan's contact number. She read off another number for an Edward Cullen, to which the dispatcher said she would notify them both of the accident.

She assured Mrs. Jenson that an ambulance was on its way, and calmly gave her advice on how to care for Isabella. A large backpack was found beside Isabella, which would help to prop up her legs until the EMTs arrived. The dispatcher asked if Isabella was still breathing, which she was, and Mrs. Jenson was told to make sure she kept Isabella's head tilted back to keep the airways open.

_"Is there any vital information written on the dog's harness? Anything that I may need to know?" _

"Um…" Mrs. Jenson read all of the patches and the leash, but it all said the same - PTSD and anxiety disorder. That was until she came across a different patch. "Oh! She suffers with Selective Mutism - she may not have the ability to talk or answer questions."

_"That's great; thank you so much. I will inform the EMTs."_

Loud, labored breathing distracted Mrs. Jenson from what the dispatcher was saying. "Isabella? Isabella, can you hear me?"

Isabella rolled her head slowly from side to side and winced as the pain became known. Her eyelids fluttered, but a look of fear crossed her face when Isabella opened her eyes fully and became aware of the situation going on around her.

0-0

**Bella**

"Isabella, are you okay? I need you to stay very still for me, dear."

I didn't know this lady.

But most importantly, I didn't know what was going on.

The last thing I remembered was entering the park and waiting on Jacob. Now I was lying flat on the ground with a strange woman telling me what to do. My head was pounding and my entire body felt weak - I barely had the strength to raise one arm, but Luna knew I was trying to reach her. She stood up from my chest and came to lie right beside my head with her muzzle resting on my shoulder.

A siren was heard in the distance, coming closer and closer. The lady next to me was still on the phone to someone, but as the sirens arrived at the park she thanked whoever was on the phone and hung up. I knew then that she had phoned for an ambulance, and the idea of going to the hospital almost made the panic reappear.

"Isabella," I gazed towards the strange lady. "The dispatcher has phoned your father, okay? He should be here soon."

_Someone has phoned Charlie! _

_He's coming to save me!_

_What about Edward? Will he come too?_

I had so many questions that I wish I could've asked her. How long was I out for? Why does my head hurt so badly? Am I being taken to hospital? If only the mental block hadn't affected my speech.

My answers were given when two EMTs arrived at the park. The paramedics sat either side of me and searched around in their bags to find the right equipment.

"How are you feeling, Isabella?"

Embarrassed, weak, angry, confused…

"I understand that it is difficult for you to talk right now, but can you shake or nod your head?" I nodded. "Okay, good. Now, apart from your head, can you feel any pain elsewhere around your body? Your neck or back, perhaps?"

I had to give the question a lot of thought - I was weak from the fainting, but I don't think I could feel any other pain. My right hip was a bit sensitive, but I put that down to how I fell and the impact of hitting the ground.

I shook my head.

"Excellent. Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?"

As I nodded, I felt my eyes close softly. My hands shook, but I was so used to panic attacks at this point that I knew not to worry about it - sometimes they would tremor as a repercussion from the episode or the fainting. Luna stood from her spot behind me and went to put a paw on my hand, but the paramedics made it difficult for her to reach. Thankfully, one of them moved to make room for her.

"You've got a great friend here, Isabella. Your dog may have just saved your life."

I knew that Luna would save me from my mental struggles daily, but to hear that she could have saved my life made my eyes well up with tears. Who knows what could have happened if Luna hadn't gone to find help? Or if someone hadn't found us? My fainting could have turned into something much more serious.

"_Bella?" _Charlie's voice caused more tears to spill down my cheeks. Charlie knelt beside me and stroked my hair delicately. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."

"Does she have a history of fainting?" One paramedic asked.

"Yes - depending on the strength of her panic attacks, it's fairly normal. Unfortunately, this is the first time she has been alone when one came on."

"Okay. Isabella, do you feel strong enough to sit up?"

I nodded again, and with the help of everyone around me, I sat up and had Luna sit behind my back for support. My head hung low and I made sure to take deep breaths to fight off the nausea. As long as I could focus on my breathing, it should have been enough to ignore my small audience. I hated being the center of attention.

"Here, you need to stay hydrated." Charlie held out the water bottle I had brought with me. From the same bag, he also took out a bar of dark chocolate for me to nibble on. Just the two sips that I drank seemed to make a hell of a difference, and the chocolate helped me gain enough energy to keep my head up.

I tried to block everything out - especially then the paramedics worked on the cut on my head. I didn't even know I was bleeding until I saw the red-stained gauze they disposed of. I assumed it was nothing serious seeing as they didn't want to take me to hospital.

I remember hearing Jacob's voice at one point - he asked Charlie what had happened and if I was okay, but he didn't get much of an answer. I had a feeling that Charlie was far too scared and angry to give Jacob a full answer. I was just as angry as Charlie, but thankfully I had an excuse not to talk to him.

He said he was going to be ten minutes, but it must have been longer than that. What took him so long? He knows how vulnerable I am, so what was more important than our meeting?

Jacob and I had been friends for so long, but for the first time in years, he wasn't the person I was looking for. He isn't the person I need anymore. I know life is difficult for him, and I know Billy needs constant care, but so do I - I need just as much care as Billy does, except mine is mental instead of physical.

This situation proved to me that I didn't need Jacob anymore. He and I can still be friends, but I no longer rely on his protection or love. Clearly I couldn't rely on his timekeeping either.

The person I did need, arrived just as the paramedics were finishing up. Edward looked as scared as Charlie had done and didn't hesitate to throw his arms around me. My body relaxed into his chest. His welcoming scent and the comforting brush of his hands made me smile for the first time in a long time.

"Are you okay, love? God, I was so worried when I received that phone call."

The paramedic answered Edward's question for me. "Isabella will need a lot of rest and it'll be best to keep an eye out on any changes, but apart from that, she'll be absolutely fine."

I put a flat hand against my chin and brought it down in the direction of the paramedics. I had to thank them somehow, and sign language was the only option for me at that moment.

"She's saying 'thank you'." Edward interpreted.

"No need to thank us, just as long as you're okay."

Charlie stood from the ground to thank them properly and even thanked the lady who had found me. I never realized she was still there. It meant a lot to me that she had stayed.

Luna had returned to her favorite spot on my lap, and even Jacob had the nerve to sit beside me.

"I'm so sorry, Bell. I tried phoning when I was on my way."

_Perhaps I didn't answer because I was already unconscious on the floor… _

"You can apologize all you like, but I think it'll take her a long time to forgive you for this." Edward was pissed, but his care only made me love him more.

"How was I to know this would happen?"

"Exactly! You never know what will happen, so you always need to be prepared for that! If Bella says she will meet you at twelve, you get here ten minutes earlier, not ten minutes later! Or twenty in this case…"

"I'm sorry, Bell…"

_I just want to go home._

Edward caught onto my irritation and asked if I wanted to stand up.

"Here, I'll help!" Jacob jumped to his feet and held out an arm for me to grab onto.

"She doesn't need your help," Edward mumbled. "This is why she has Luna."

I clicked my fingers to get Luna off my lap, and then clicked my fingers against the grass to get her to lie down. With one hand holding onto the large handle of her harness, I braced myself against Edward. Usually, I would speak her commands, but he had to do it for me.

"Luna, slow…" As I rose to my feet, Luna did the same. "Good girl, slow…" She followed the order at just the right speed and when she was at full height, I just had to straighten up. I wanted to thank her for everything that she had done, but I couldn't do it with people around me. I also made a note to tell her trainer what had happened, and to thank them for all the hard work they have put in.

"C'mon, Bells, let's take you home."

We made small steps towards the parked cars and the angle that Edward's was left in showed me that he cared more about me than he did about his parking skills. That was another one of his OCD habits - whenever he parked anywhere, no matter if his car was between the lines, he had to make sure there was the same amount of space either side of his car. If one side had more room than the other he would reverse and realign the car until it was just right. His car right now was diagonally parked across two spaces with his wheels stuck in an odd position.

"I'll follow you back to the house, okay?" Edward hugged me before helping me into Charlie's car. My frown told him exactly what I was thinking. "I've told my boss that I've had to stop working for the day, so I'm free to sit with you for as long as you want me to."

That made me feel awful. Edward had used up so much valuable time recently that he needed today to get caught up with work and other household chores. It was barely the afternoon and I've already made him stop. I know that Edward didn't have to stay and that he could have brought his laptop with him if he had to continue working, but the fact that he stayed with me instead of returning home filled me with guilt.

"Am I good to join you?" I heard Jacob ask. Charlie answered with a sigh and said that I won't be much company, but that he can tag along if he wanted to. Jacob took that as a yes and jumped into the back next to Luna.

"You okay, honey?" Charlie asked as he started the engine. I simply nodded. "Is there anything I can get you?" I shook my head.

_I just want to go home. _

I also had the sudden urge to curl up and fall asleep, but I knew that wasn't going to happen until Edward and Charlie knew I was fine. The cut on my head was just a cut but mixed with the fainting and they needed to be careful that it wasn't more serious.

I fought sleep off twice in the short time that it took to get home, so I knew it was going to be much harder to stay awake than previously thought.

I had a feeling that Charlie wanted to bring up the topic and perhaps say 'I told you so', but I was grateful for the silence - he would broach the subject once I felt better. Instead of mentioning anything, he silently helped me inside the house and into the living room where the couch was ready and waiting for me. Luna jumped up beside me and Jacob took a spare seat to my left.

"What happened, Bell?" I could tell that Jacob felt awful, but I was far too irritated to give him any sort of response.

"She's not going to say anything," Charlie answered as he settled a blanket over my lap and kissed my forehead sweetly.

"Nothing?"

"She has been through a traumatic event. Bella's speech won't return until she's fit and ready."

I felt myself falling asleep again, but my eyes darted open when Edward was heard pulling up outside. I knew that my anxiety would fade once he was inside and the front door was locked.

"How about I make you some lunch, yeah?" Charlie shot me a wink and headed through to the kitchen. My stomach didn't feel ready to accept any food, but I knew I needed the energy.

I overheard Charlie greeting Edward at the door and they mentioned seeing whether or not Angela would be available for a home visit. It had been a week since I last had a meeting with her, however she would know what to do in this situation and how to help me progress forward. I felt so stupid for even attempting the walk by myself, and I was certain they were all concerned about the set-back this may have caused.

"Is Luna saving my seat for me?" Edward joked as he made his way over toward me. With a click of my fingers, Luna jumped down from the couch but then she came to lie across our laps once Edward had taken his place. She would have been more than comfortable on the floor, but I had a feeling that she wanted to be even closer.

"You okay?"

If I could, I would have told him exactly how I felt, but I suppose 'okay' works for now. I was home and I was safe - it could have been much worse.

Fed up with the silence, Jacob turned on the television to find something to watch, but nobody else paid attention to it. I rested my head upon Edward's shoulder and ran my fingers through Luna's thick fur.

The rest of the afternoon went by much the same - brief one-sided questions and my mind running on over-time. I tried my best to stay positive and went through the techniques that Angela had taught me recently.

Today may have been a bad day, but there is always tomorrow.

I may not have shown Edward my courage and strength, but I can do that tomorrow.

As long as I haven't scared him away, I still have a chance.

0-0

**And breathe… This chapter has been planned for a while, and I'm so grateful that it's over! **

**I know it may seem like yet another set-back chapter, but it's more to show the realistic life of someone with PTSD and anxiety - just because you're on the road to recovery, doesn't mean that you won't hit a few hurdles on the way. **

**However, to the people who are sick and tired of how realistic this story is, you'll be pleased to know that the next chapter starts the journey towards a HEA. **

**Thank you for reading, and for your patience. Any kind words to give to Luna? **


	32. Chapter 31

**In case you aren't aware, I started a new job which includes incredibly tight deadlines. I can write on free occasions, but right now that is only available on the weekends. Chapters will get written when I have the time to do so :)**

Hereafter  
Chapter 31.

**July 4th, 2019.  
****Bella. **

No matter how long I'll suffer with it, I don't think I'd ever get to grips with the idea of mental illnesses and all of the various aspects it brings into the my daily routine. Some days I'll wake up feeling like I'm on the top of the world, but within an hour I could be back in my bed, crying my eyes out, and with no idea what is going on inside my head. It is a constant rollercoaster with no means of getting off the road anytime soon.

It had been two days since my incident in the park, and everything had gone surprisingly well since then - I've had a few phone appointments with Angela and we have planned a time for her to come to the house, but I haven't managed to make it out of the house for my daily walk with Luna. I'd felt strong enough in my body, yet I feared what could have happened once I had left the door. Jacob had flown back to New York yesterday to celebrate the day with his dad, but that was fine with me.

According to everyone around me, it was going to take some time before I could feel safe again in my own surroundings. This evening was going to be my first proper test since James had been arrested.

It was the 4th of July; the day of celebrating America's independence with parades, food and, of course, fireworks. I have overheard the occasional firework in the past year, but nothing to the extent of what I was going to hear this evening. There are so many different parts to a firework, from the bright lights and the bangs, to name a couple. I also feared what it could do to Luna - could she still do her job properly with that distraction outside the window? I had so many questions, but I wouldn't receive an answer until the moment arrived.

Forks has annual celebrations which Charlie had been asked to attend, but he made a compromise with them - if he worked the parade then he would sit out of the fireworks so that he could stay home with me. Edward had offered to stay with me for both occasions, but Charlie said that he'd feel more at ease knowing that I was safe.

They had purchased me a pair of noise-cancelling headphones to block out the bangs, but there wasn't a lot they could do for the windows. An idea had been spread around that maybe I could fall asleep before the fireworks were supposed to start, but I can't fall asleep on command, so we'd need to wait until later for that one.

Edward arrived at the house shortly after eleven o'clock. His hands were loaded with carrier bags from the supermarket and a bottle of Sprite had been tucked underneath one arm.

"Hey, love," he sent me a sweet smile when he noticed me in the kitchen. "How are you today?"

"Good," I replied silently.

Edward continued to put away all the groceries and gave Luna a caring brush between her ears when she went to investigate the products. "I don't know if any of this is for you, pup," he joked.

"What did you buy?" I asked as I made my way over towards him delicately. My legs had become ever so slightly weaker over the last couple of days. Angela couldn't give me an exact answer for that, but she suspects it may be a mental thing - my legs are perfectly fine and strong enough to carry me around the house, but because I couldn't go on my daily walks my head had made me feel as though I had lost strength.

Again, that is all just another issue I have on a daily basis.

"I bought some burgers, hot dogs, buns…" Edward listed off a load of items as he pulled each one from the bag. I had noticed the amount that he bought, but I didn't want to say that he may have bought too much for two and half people. "But don't worry, love, I also got you some strawberries and watermelon."

"Thank you."

Watermelon was my new addiction. Charlie couldn't find any strawberries in the store the other day, but he did find a giant, fresh watermelon which I had been picking on ever since. Apart from the diet plan I had been set, I increased my calorie intake by consuming an awful lot of strawberry/melon salad and Swedish Fish. Of course.

"I also have a surprise for you," Edward winked.

Usually a surprise would've caused me fear, but I knew Edward well enough to know that he'd never do anything to harm me, and all of his surprises came from the heart. James' surprises came from a different area of his body.

"First off," he reached into the final bag and brought out a multipack of cans. His movements were too quick for me to catch which drink he had bought. "I know you're getting sick of water, but I didn't want to break the rules too much, so I thought you could have the next best thing."

I watched in confusion as Edward handed out the cans for me to get a better look. "La Croix?" I asked. I couldn't remember the last time I'd ever had La Croix.

"It's passionfruit flavor, is that okay?"

"Absolutely!" I grinned.

"I didn't know which flavor to go for, and obviously apple is big no-no, but I thought you might enjoy something with slightly more flavor and texture."

This is one of the many reasons why I love this man so much - not in the 'madly in love' sense, but you get what I mean. He had been in charge of getting drinks for himself and Charlie, but he also thought about my needs too. I even had water on Christmas Day, so he knew I wanted something different. It was a day for many to celebrate our country, and even if I didn't feel up to celebrating with them, I still wanted to make it slightly special.

"Thank you," I prayed that he didn't see the tears that rimmed my eyes. Crying over a can of damn La Croix is something I doubt he's seen before.

"I have one more surprise for you…"

"Two multipacks?" My question was serious, and the only thing I could think of at that moment. Twelve cans of La Croix would last me a long time, and I didn't want to go back to water so quickly.

Edward let out a gentle laugh. "No, I'm sorry it's not more cans, but I think you might enjoy this a bit more."

A bit more?

His cryptic comments made no sense to me.

"Why don't we go and sit down and I can explain it all to you."

With a frown practically tattooed between my brows, I took Edward's hand and followed him through to the living room. Luna plodded behind us and curled up at my feet when I had sat down.

"Hey, Edward," Charlie called from the stairs. "You been to the store?"

I paid zero attention to their conversation, manly because I was racking my brain for what Edward's second surprise could have been. It was something that I was going to enjoy more than a drink, and I knew that he had already bought me strawberries and watermelon… so what else was I needing or wanting?

"Bells," Charlie broke me from my internal pondering. He had changed into his cop uniform which told me that it wouldn't be long before he had to leave for the parade. It surprised me that the parade had continued on for this long. I used to watch it every year with friends, or just Charlie, but it had definitely aged over time. We tried to make it as close to the Macy's Thanksgiving parade as possible, but so far it hasn't hit that level.

"Hi," I smiled up at my father.

Charlie collapsed down onto the other side of the couch and stretched out his arms as a sigh blew from his mouth. "You all good for the food later?" he asked.

"Sure," I shrugged. "I'll… see how I feel."

Because of my fear foods, Charlie and Edward had made a promise that we wouldn't have bread in this house, or apples, until I was comfortable enough. I didn't have to eat them, but even just a loaf of bread sitting on the countertop could've been enough to throw the flashbacks in my face, and they didn't want to take that risk. But today I knew they wanted to have burgers and hot dogs when Charlie set up the grill, and I didn't want to be the person that made them eat that without the correct buns accompanying it.

"That's all I ask, honey," Charlie leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. "Now, I believe Edward said he had a surprise?"

I nodded my head. Charlie's moustache lifted up on one side as he grinned. Of course the two of them had been conjuring up a plan behind my back. The biggest surprise would've been if Charlie had no idea what Edward had organized.

"We didn't want to tell you before hand, especially seeing how you've been feeling recently, so we thought it was best we told you now."

Told me now?

Told me _what _now?

As soon as Charlie had spoken those words, Edward walked through the front door. I hadn't even noticed he had left the room when Charlie sat down beside me. How the hell had he managed to leave the house without me noticing? We had had a bell attached to the inside of the door to alert me if someone was leaving or entering.

Luna suddenly jumped to her feet when the door opened and casually walked from the room. Almost like… someone else had arrived.

My throat felt very tight and my hands began to sweat at the idea of strangers being in my bubble.

I couldn't understand why they thought this would've been a good surprise?

I'm certain a panic attack would have started if I hadn't heard a playful gurgle from just outside the living room. A baby's gurgle.

"Happy Fourth, Bella!" Emmett jumped into view with arms outstretched and the biggest smile on his face.

"Don't scare the poor thing!"

_Rose!_

_Emmett!_

_Daisy!_

What were they doing here?

Rose made her way over to me with her daughter Daisy held against her side, Charlie stood in order to give Rose the seat. I watched as he gave Emmett a manly pat on the back.

"Wh-what…?" I was in such shock that I couldn't get my words out, regardless of my mutism or not.

"We wanted to celebrate the day with you," Rose smiled and adjusted Daisy so that she sat upon her knee. "We knew today was going to be difficult, and we didn't want to intimidate you with the whole family."

I rubbed away at my throat as I took in the suddenly-full living room. The ache in my throat helped me realize this was real. Very, very real. I hadn't seen any of Edward's family since James' court date a month ago, and it was clear to see that Daisy had grown a lot in that time. I never knew babies changed so much between six and seven months old, but maybe I just wasn't used to babies yet. Daisy could now sit unsupported for a longer period of time and two tiny teeth had grown through in the middle of her bottom jaw.

I watched in amusement as Daisy caught sight of Luna and peered at her with a side eye.

"Hello, Luna," Rose cooed. "Do you want to see the puppy, Daisy-bug?" She put her hand out for Luna to sniff and rub her head on, to try and get Daisy more comfortable with her. Luna must've seemed ginormous in Daisy's eyes.

"How are you doing, Little One?" Emmett stole the seat to my left, and Edward had sat on the floor between us.

"Good…" I whispered. "How… are you?" I silently cursed at my inability to talk. I didn't know if it was the shock or something else that had caused my mutism to start, but for the first time in a long time, I really wanted to talk.

"Even better now we're here!" Emmett punch the air with a fist. "I've seen the food Edward bought, and I cannot wait for that to get cooked up."

Charlie announced then that he had to leave, but that he would be back before I knew it. He also told Edward that he'd have his cell phone incase we needed to get in contact with him. Everyone, apart from myself, reassured him that everything would be fine.

"Is this a good surprise?" Edward whispered to me once Charlie had left the house.

I gave him a timid nod and a smile. It was the best surprise, and I just knew it was going to make everything so much easier for me.

0-0

It turned out that they had all told the truth when reassuring Charlie that everything was going to be okay. The time seemed to breeze past, and it didn't feel like he had been out for that long at all. We killed time by watching television, reading and talking. Rose did majority of the talking, but I responded the best I could. I asked where they were staying, to which they said they were staying with Edward and apparently they were driving home again tomorrow.

The moment that Charlie came home, Emmett cheered at the idea of food, and then he and Edward went into the backyard to start up the grill. I sat with Rose and Daisy on the couch.

"Edward told me what had happened the other day," Rose started. She sent me a sad smile, but gave my hand a proud pat. It was obvious that she didn't want to have this conversation with me when the others were around. I appreciated that. It was difficult to talk with all the ears listening.

"With… Jacob?"

"Yes. I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am, and incredibly pissed with that Jacob guy."

I giggled. "Edward… too."

"I could tell how much he hated him when he had phoned me. But the main thing is that you're okay, and you focus on the positives instead of the negatives."

"Yes." I nodded.

"What you did took so much courage, and please don't let a silly panic attack stop you from seeing how wonderful you are, and how brave you are."

That's why I loved Rose. She had such a fierce love inside her, and she always knew what to say or what to do when times were rough. She was a great friend to have and from seeing how defensive she became when it came to Jacob, she was someone you always wanted on your side.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Daisy distracted us with her amusement and how she had started a new game with Emmett's baseball hat that had been left on the couch. She placed the indent of the hat against her face, which covered it with plenty of room to spare around the sides. Once her face was in the hat she'd make a gurgle, and when the noise echoed around the material, Daisy chuckled loudly, and continued to gurgle in order to hear the echo again.

"She's really cute," I mumbled behind my clenched fist.

"Daisy makes me laugh on a daily basis," Rose commented. "I don't know how I became so lucky to have her as my daughter."

She was lucky to have a daughter. I always wanted one when I was growing up, and I always asked to be the 'mom' in a game of make-believe with my friends, but now I don't know how easy that'll be. Not only would I need to find a boyfriend in order for that to happen, but I don't know if my mental health would cause an issue with the pregnancy. My story means I wouldn't be picked to adopt a child, so I guess I'll have to wave that idea goodbye. Unless I met someone who already had a kid from a previous relationship, I guess that could work.

"You're lucky," I said sadly.

Rose gave me an empathetic look as she understood what I was saying. "You never know what might happen," she promised. "I never imagined myself to have this life, but now I don't know how I ever thought that."

"But I…"

_No, that sounds too silly. _

"What were you going to say, love?"

I thought it over for a minute as I decided what I had wanted to say, and how I wanted to word it. I had told Rose about this conundrum before, but I still found it hard to mention it.

"I… would need… a boyfriend." If I had been counting, I'd say it probably took me ten seconds to get those five short words out of my mouth.

"You don't see yourself clearly," Rose smirked. "Any man would be stupid not to want you."

Yes, but I didn't want 'any man', and Rose knew that.

"Maybe," I mumbled.

I found it easier to agree to what anyone is saying without having to explain my reason behind it. However, I couldn't stop myself from adding to what she had said.

"But I'm not… pretty," I said past the finger nail I was nibbling on.

"Not pretty?" Rose copied. "Have you looked in a mirror recently?"

I appreciated her comment, but I knew it wasn't true and she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. To emphasize my point, I pulled up my leggings on my right leg so it sat just above my ankle, and I pointed down towards the hair that the clothing had been hiding.

"What?" Rose asked with a frown. "I don't see anything."

I gave her a look that said _'really?' _and pointed toward the hair again.

"I see leg hair, but that's it," she shrugged with a smile. "If human's weren't supposed to have it, we wouldn't be born with it. Just because women are frowned upon for not shaving, doesn't mean we have to listen to the low-lives that made that statement to begin with. What did the Old Bella do?"

I never liked it when people referred to me as old or new. I know I have said it in the past, and I think it from time to time, but to hear others saying it makes me see the difference between us. I might not return to how I used to be, and I might not manage to do the same things that I used to do, but I'm still here. The 'Old Bella' is still inside - she's simply buried deep underneath a mountain of pain.

Instead of telling Rose that, I answered her question and let the comment slide.

"I… shaved… most days."

Rose let our a tinkering laugh, adjusted how Daisy had been sitting, and then pulled up a leg of her own pants. "See? I often go several days without touching a razor."

The issue that I had, though, was that my hair is dark, which is far more noticeable than Rose's white blonde hairs that covered her legs.

"You… have a baby," that was reason enough in itself. I bet she barely has the time to wash her hair.

"And? You have immense pressure on your shoulders, and until recently you couldn't even stand, let alone find the energy to delicately shave your legs."

Her comment made sense, and I hadn't thought about it like that before. I guess my Mom was wrong - you don't need to have smooth legs for men to be attracted to you. Not like any man was attracted to me, but that's besides the point.

"Ladies!" Emmett's cheery voice called through from the back door. I heard his heavy footfalls before he poked his head around the door. "Chief is asking for assistance with the food prep. Apparently you make a mean fruit salad, Little One?" he cooked an eyebrow in my direction.

"I can… try," I mumbled.

"That's all we ask," Emmett winked and then turned on his heel to return to the back yard.

"Come on, then," Rose heaved herself and Daisy up from the couch. "Best to not keep these guys waiting."

Although we had been given the task of lending a hand, Emmett had sweetly taken everything out from the fridge and set up a station for us to work at.

"I'll cut… watermelon?" I suggested.

"Sure! I'll put cheese on the buns."

The watermelon had already been sliced, but I traced a knife around the peel and then cut the triangles into smaller pieces. It felt odd to have a sharp knife in my hand, but I took my time and made sure I was stable before I made any sudden movements. Once the melon had been placed into a large bowl, I cut the stems off all the strawberries and popped the grapes from the vines, before slicing them in half and added it to the bowl.

By the time the three fruits had been diced, Rose had finished setting up all the buns and had even taken the wrap off the potato salad and coleslaw that had been made the day before. I tried not to let my slowness affect me, and I knew that I had done the best job I could, but it was still difficult to see someone else complete various tasks before you could even complete one.

"This all looks great!" Edward praised with a smile as he saw the work we'd done.

"Thank you," I smiled timidly.

"Would you like to take a seat outside?" he asked as he held out a hand. "The food is ready to be served up."

"Okay,"

I ended up thoroughly enjoying the meal, and I managed to somehow eat two burger patties, a hot dog (without the bun) and two spoonfuls of fruit salad. Everyone joked and laughed and took their turns at holding the baby, and I sat back and enjoyed it.

We all went inside as the sun began to set, and I cuddled up in a blanket with Luna doing some weight therapy on my lap. I slipped on the headphones, took some medication, and waited for the fireworks to start. It turned out that the headphones didn't cancel all noise, and I heard a few of the bangs, but I could tell from the reflection of the glass that there were many more that I couldn't hear, and for that, I was grateful.

I even managed to fall asleep, and I drifted off with the knowledge that everyone was around me, I was safe, and the noise outside were simply fireworks.

It felt slightly ironic to think that we were celebrating the country's independence at the same time that we were all celebrating my independence, and the journey I had taken.

**July 6th, 2019  
****Edward**

I pulled up outside Charlie's house shortly before five o'clock, and saw Bella was looking out the window, probably waiting on my arrival. This evening was going to be a real test for her, and I knew that she was dreading it, so I think she wanted to get it out of the way. Charlie had to work another night shift, and usually I would camp out at their house, but we'd come up with a plan to help her get used to a different surrounding. She's going to be staying with me instead, in her old house, but she hasn't set foot on the property since she was taken, so I'm not sure how it's going to turn out.

The last time Bella stood on the front yard she was thrown into the back of James' car, and I knew she wanted to see her house and her old surroundings, but things may be more difficult than that when we actually arrive. I've thought of a way to help her relax, but nothing is set in stone just yet.

I let myself into the house with my own key, and heard the bell chime as the door swung open. Luna raced up to see me with her tail wagging. I gave her head a good scratch, and then she turned around and returned to the living room. I could hear the hum of the boiler upstairs, so assumed that Charlie must have been in the shower.

"Hey, love," I smiled as I entered the room. Bella sat on the couch with her overnight bags by her feet.

"Hi," she gave me a small smile.

"You good?"

"Yes," she nibbled on her bottom lip which told me that her answer may have been a white lie.

I peered over at her bags and saw the head of Plushy Nora sticking from one bag, and Luna's bed had been rolled up and slotted into another. She was only going for one night, but when you need to have all of your comforts, along with everything for your dog, it all adds up.

"I've thought we could do something fun," I grinned. "How about you do the cooking this evening?"

Bella's eyes widened and a faint smile curled up on her lips. "Me?" she asked with a finger pointed toward her chest.

"Yeah, you," I replied. "You've wanted to cook for so long, and you know I'm not the best, so why not this evening?"

"Okay…"

"Excellent! Why don't you think of something easy that you'd like to cook, and then we'll stop off at the store to collect the ingredients?"

We were advised to let Bella pick what food she'd like to eat. Her main fear foods consist of bread (mainly sandwiches) and apples, however we've experienced times in the past where something completely different would set off a panic. Angela, Bella's therapist, believes that perhaps she had bad memories of that other food, but her brain hadn't processed the fear until it was put in front of her. For example, Bella loves fruit, and is constantly seen snacking on watermelon and strawberries, and one day Charlie bought a large net of oranges which he peeled and sliced for her, but the second the segment was in Bella's hand, she freaked out and began to scream the house down.

Angela was informed of the incident, and said that there's a chance James had maybe sat and peeled the fruit in front of her. He might not have done anything with the orange, but the memory of him peeling it was enough to set Bella off. Which is what I don't understand, because she's happily had orange juice, or orange flavored candy, but the physical fruit itself isn't allowed in her head.

Apples are the main one, and she can't even face looking at the fruit, let alone holding and eating it, and sandwiches or bread rolls make her physically sick if she eats them, but she's had French toast before, and ate that no problem. The mind is a weird and wonderful place, and I don't think I'd ever fully understand what went on inside her head.

"How about… pasta?" she whispered.

"Pasta?" I copied. "Sure, I love pasta. What would you like to have with it"

"Um… I don't know."

"That's okay," I soothed. "We can think about that later."

Twenty minutes later, Charlie arrived downstairs all ready for work, and the two of us carried Bella's bags into the trunk of my car.

"I'll have my cell on me," Charlie whispered while Bella was out of earshot.

"Thanks. I think it'll be fine, but we just don't know yet."

"If anything goes wrong, don't hesitate to phone and I'll find someone to cover for me."

Charlie's face held a sad smile, because this was just as difficult for him as it was for his daughter. He'd come to realize that he can't protect her twenty-four hours a day, and he wants to bubblewrap her and keep her safe in the house, but that isn't possible. He hated the nightshifts for that very reason, but he had to do them occasionally, and it was simply another challenge we had to face together. He knew I'd look after her, and he knew I'd never let anything happen to her, but it doesn't make the parting any easier.

"You ready, sweetheart?" Charlie called over as Bella made her way out of the house. In the time that we'd been outside, she'd clipped Luna's harness on, and now the dog was in working mode.

Bella gave her father a feeble nod, gave him a hug, and then climbed into the front of my car. I watched as she pulled her arms into her hoodie and then crossed them over her chest. It was a defensive tactic to help herself feel safe, and not because she was cold. Her voice had gone ten minutes prior, and I had a feeling that it would be a while before I heard her speak again.

I said my goodbyes to Charlie, promised him again that I'd look after Bella, and then I got into the car beside her. Luna lay peacefully over the backseats, but she had her head turned toward her owner to keep a watchful eye over Bella as we drove.

"I have some cereal in the house," I said as we drove towards the store, "but if you'd like something else for breakfast then we can get it now, okay?"

I didn't get a response, but I knew she'd pick something up if it caught her eye.

I managed to get a spot near the door, and the stress of not managing to find one had vanished as soon as I saw the open spaces. Charlie was in discussion with Angela about whether or not Bella would qualify for a disabled parking permit. She has difficulty walking at the moment, but that will change as her body gets stronger, but the distance from the parking lot to the store can be a major challenge for her, and so he's hoping she can qualify for one. Washington has a lot of rules in order for you to be eligible, and mental health isn't one of them, but he won't stop trying.

"Shall I get Luna?" I asked when I noticed that Bella hadn't made any move to leave the car.

_"Edward," _she whispered under her breath.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I patted her arm as I noticed the tears that brimmed in her eyes.

Bella nibbled on her lip for a second, and then she fanned out both hands as she jolted them in front of her chest. She had resulted in sign language, which isn't often used when we were safe in the car. That wasn't a good sign.

"You're scared?" I guess from her movements. "Why are you scared?"

She repeated the same movement, but with more emphasis to express how terrified she was.

"I get that you're scared, but can you tell me why?"

Bella held out her fore and middle fingers on both hand, pointed them down toward her lap, and then cycled them in front of each other.

"The people," I read. "You don't need to be scared of the people, love. They don't want to hurt you."

We hadn't learnt a lot of ASL, but we were slowly learning the main signs that Bella would need on a daily basis. For example, she can thank someone, tell us that she's hungry or thirsty, and she can also tell us how she's feeling, whether that be happy, sad, scared or anxious. She's also learnt signs for each of us. Luna is either the sign for 'moon' or 'dog', Charlie is the sign for 'father' and I am the sign for 'friend'. We had to be careful that she didn't rely mainly on the signs and didn't use her voice at all, but in situations where she cannot talk, it was important that she could communicate with us. Apparently my family were willing to learn, which just about broke my heart when I found out.

I patiently waited for ten minutes before Bella had found the courage to leave the car, but those ten minutes didn't bother me in the slightest. I'd take a bullet for this girl, so sitting in the car was nothing to me.

She took several deep breaths, took a sip from her water bottle, and then looked at me as she took her right hand and brushed the tips of her fingers against her neck. The sign for 'dog'.

"I'll get Luna, you prepare yourself."

I gave her forehead a kiss as I slipped from the car and opened the back left-hand door. Luna took no time in jumping free from the space, but she stood right beside me and waited until she was given a command. I slipped Bella's bag onto my shoulders, double checked that I had my wallet, and then brought Luna round to where Bella waited for her.

She pointed a finger at Luna to get her attention, and then pointed it toward her eyes so the dog knew to watch her. I watched as Bella surveyed the area and the amount of people present before she stood fully from the car and wrapped Luna's leash around her chosen hand. She took a few more deep breaths and then motioned for Luna to walk on.

Watching her walking through the doors to the store and allowing Luna to guide her to the first aisle, genuinely made me want to cry. A week ago, when everything had happened with Jacob in the park, I never would have thought that she'd manage to do this. It just shows that your mind doesn't control everything, and if you want to do something, it can't stop you.

A few people passed Bella and said hello, but they walked away before Bella had to panic about responding. They knew she wouldn't want to start a conversation, but that she probably appreciated the greeting.

A landed on the fruit and veg aisle, and as Bella decided on which tomatoes she wanted to pick, I put Luna in the 'guard' command. It wasn't a defense pose, but she would stand behind Bella and watch the people walking past. It meant that no one could come too close to Bella, and if someone stepped closer than Luna would've liked, she'd slip into that space to stop them.

"They look good," I praised as she dropped the bag into the basket I carried.

Bella gave me a smile and then motioned for Luna to keep walking.

They repeated the same process until we had picked out tomato sauce, chorizo, and all we had to get was some pasta.

Bella was in the middle of deciding which pasta she wanted, when things took a slight turn.

"Hey, Bella!" a guy shouted from the other end of the lane.

I didn't know the guy personally, but I knew that he worked here from the times I've been in before, and his name tag told me his name was Mike.

Bella froze with a bag of spaghetti clenched in both hands.

Luna took her guard pose in front of her, and kept her eyes on Mike, just to make sure nothing bad was going to happen.

"Hey," I spoke to him calmly. "Please, don't come much closer."

My words seemed to slip right over Mike's head, and he came closer just like Jacob had when we first met him.

"That's close enough," I told him again.

"How are you doing?" he asked Bella. "I haven't seen you in ages."

The petrified girl angled her body toward me, and I put a protective arm around her shoulders and whispered that everyone was okay. Mike appeared harmless, but he also appeared ignorant to the situation.

"Cool dog," he commented and held his hand out as if he was going to pet Luna.

"Please don't touch the dog while she's working," I ordered calmly.

"It's cool, man," he smiled at me. "I'm not scared of dogs."

"That's not the point. Luna is working and she can't afford to be distracted right now."

"Awesome. What does she do?"

I let out a deep sigh and realized that it was best to give Mike the answer he was looking for, and then hopefully he'd walk away before anything could happen.

"She's listening out for Bella's heart rate," I told him. "She's keeping her calm and collected, but paying attention in case a panic attack is about to start, and then she'll take her to a safe space."

"Amazing," Mike gave Luna a thumbs up. "But how have you been, Bella? Things goings okay?"

I peered down at Bella and saw that she was nibbling on the tips of her fingers with her head lowered toward her chest. I had to get her out of here, and I had to get Mike to return to his job.

"She's doing really well," I answered honestly, "but things like this are difficult for her, and so, if you wouldn't mind, is it okay if we continued shopping?"

"Ah, yeah, man," he smiled. "Just let me know if you need anything."

"I will, thanks."

"See you later, Bella!"

Mike left things there and walked back in the way he'd been coming.

I asked Bella if there was anything else she needed, and when she shook her head, I took control, paid for the items as quickly as possible, and walked us back to the car.

"That was so good!" I praised with a large smile.

Bella gave me a weak smile in return and clicked her seatbelt into place.

"Do you know Mike from school?" I guessed.

She nodded. "_Fig…" _she whispered under her breath.

"Fig? What do you mean by that?" Had she forgotten to buy some figs in the store?

"_Mike… Newton," _she explained, "…_called him… Fig."_

"Fig Newton," I laughed. High school nicknames always stick.

We didn't converse much more on the way to my house, or, at least, I didn't ask her many more questions. It was clear to me that she wasn't in the mood for talking, and I wanted to make the situation as calming as possible for her.

Her breathing deepened as we entered the street, and even Luna poked her head between the seats as she picked up on the change of mood. Usually, if Luna picked up on something before we became aware of it, we'd take Bella to a quiet spot, or have her sit down on the couch, but I knew she was safe in the car, and if an episode started, I could pull the car over without any problems.

As I pulled up into the drive, Bella curled in on herself and covered her head with both arms. She didn't want to see the yard, and chances were that she didn't want to step foot from the safety of my car.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked.

There was a long pause between my question and the answer. It was faint, and hard to see, but Bella shook her head and continued to calm her breaths.

"No one will think badly of you if you decide to turn around," I promised her.

I couldn't think of the best way to do this. Before I left, I had all these different possibilities in my head, and I knew that one of them would work, but now that it came time to face the issue head on, none of my ideas seemed to work. I thought about taking Luna in first and having her check the place out, so that Bella knew no one else was in the house, but Bella wouldn't want her to leave her side. I also thought about unlocking the door, turning the lights and heating on, but she wouldn't want me to leave either.

I had to do what was best for her, and I had to put her needs before my own, but at what cost? Was it best for her to face this fear and overcome the final hurdle, or do I take her back to her house and potentially risk a melt down when Bella realized that she'd 'failed' once again?

"How would you like to do this?" I asked, knowing that if she made the decision, I could work off of that.

"Shall we go in together?" I continued to talk when I hadn't received a reply.

_"Edward," _she whispered under her arm cave.

"Yes?"

_"Save… me." _

The biggest lump formed in my throat. It broke my heart to hear such a painful command.

"I will always save you," I promised. "No matter what happens, I'll always be here to save you."

Fifteen minutes after we'd arrived at the house, Bella uncurled her body and took the first look at her old house.

"_…Truck," _her words were so silent that I barely heard them, but I knew what she was saying.

Charlie had told me how much Bella loved her truck, and she always said how eager she was to drive again, but I think she thought the truck would be sitting there waiting for her. It hadn't been here when I moved in, and apparently Charlie had it stored somewhere safe until Bella wanted it back again - if she could have it back again.

"You're truck is safe. Charlie had it taken somewhere to get tested for fingerprints, and now he has it stored until you're fit enough to drive again."

"…_There," _she pointed a finger through the window beside me, and had it aimed toward the front yard. _"Right… there." _

A sickening feeling raced through my body as I worked out what she was saying. That had to be the spot where she was attacked, where she was ambushed by Victoria and James. The last time she was here, she was standing right at that spot.

The bravery that it must have taken for her to say that. Bella wasn't ignoring the flashbacks, and it felt like she was inviting them in. She allowed herself to remember the day, the second it all went down hill, instead of running from them or for allowing the pain to take over. It was the same with the trial, when she forced herself to look at James after she'd let her heart out to the entire room. Bella may think that she fails day in, day out, but that shows the utmost bravery and I don't think I'd ever be strong enough to do something like that.

"You constantly amaze me," I replied.

I watched as Bella roamed over the area, and took in the house, the yard, and the houses of the neighbors next door. That was her way of introducing herself to the situation, and that was her way of making sure everything was okay. She nodded to whatever she'd said in her head, and then unclipped the belt.

"You ready?"

My answer came in the form of Bella reaching for the door handle, and she stepped from the car without any more encouragement from me. I made a mental reminder to tell Charlie when we saw him in the morning, but I didn't say anything to Bella in case she'd been running on autopilot and I didn't want her to halt in her tracks.

I collected the bags from the trunk as she stood in the middle of her yard and continued to survey as she had been previously doing. Luna had been let from the car and she, sweetly, sat beside her owner and watched on as Bella became comfortable with her house once again.

I wasn't aware of what the night had in stall for me, and I wasn't aware of the episode I was going to encounter, but this moment right here was going to make it all worth it.

Bella had taken the first step, and it was just a shame that the evening was going to take it back again.

0-0

**I know I said the this chapter was going to see the starting point to a HEA, but it was much longer than I had anticipated, and you've already waited long enough for it, so I've cut it there, but I will do my damn hardest to continue writing soon. **

**My new job consists of me writing 5,000 words a day, all in British English, and so if I have made a few silly mistakes in spelling then I do apologise. I'm so used to writing in my own 'language' these days that I don't even realise I'm making those mistakes. **

**If you're still here, please let me know what you thought. Your comments and reviews are the fuel which keeps me going. **


	33. Chapter 32

**Thank you for all the love with the last chapter, it really means the world. **

**Trigger warning: panic attack, trance, and brief description of blood. **

Hereafter  
Chapter 32

**July 6th, 2019  
****Edward**

I unlocked the front door as Bella took in the surroundings. I wish I knew what was going on inside her head, and I wish she had the means to tell me. I was always going to be patient with her, but this evening was going to be different, and I had to allow her to take all the time she needed.

I had been living in this house since December, and so a few things had been moved around in order to accept my own belongings, but I also hadn't wanted to change too much. For example, Bella had a coat hook near the front door, and when I moved in she still had some jackets and scarves on the hooks and some shoes that sat below them. I hadn't wanted to take that away, and so I'd left them there, but piled them up in order to fit my jackets, etcetera. She also had a weekly planner in the kitchen, but I would have felt bad if I'd rubbed off the words she had written there.

Now, as I walked into the house, I wondered whether that was the right thing to do or not. Would Bella appreciate seeing her coats leisurely hung by the door, or see the week that she never managed to live? I thought I had been doing the right thing, but now I wasn't too sure. I also worried that she wouldn't appreciate seeing my things in the house. The building belonged to her, and it could possibly set her off if she saw that I could live here, but she couldn't.

I dropped the bags by the stairs and took the shopping bag through into the kitchen, and made sure to turns the lights on as I went. I hadn't been overly familiar with PTSD until Bella came into my life, but I knew that dark rooms could be a trigger for most sufferers, especially if they couldn't see who, or what, was in the room. I hoped that turning on all the separate lights could paint a brighter picture for her, and help her realize that it was safe to enter.

After I'd finished laying out the purchases on the countertop, I returned to the front door and noticed that Bella had sat herself down onto the ground, and she cuddled Luna like the dog was her life support.

"Are you okay?" I called out from where I stood. I'd take control if I felt it was necessary, and I'd take Bella home if I felt like she couldn't handle it.

A few seconds after I'd asked the question, she turned her head round to see me and gave me a simple nod. She needed time, and I was more than happy to stand there for as long as it would take her.

It turned out that Bella needed to sit there for twenty minutes before she felt strong enough to stand and walk inside.

Again, I wish that I knew what was going on inside her head when she took the first step inside. I watched as she looked down at the carpet beneath her feet, and then she moved her eyes over to the front door and around to the staircase that sat behind me.

It had been fourteen months since she was brutally taken, and it had been fourteen months since she was last inside her own home. Had the image inside her head changed in that time? Had she remembered one thing, only to find out that it had been something completely different?

She raised her left hand, and then delicately ran two fingers over the wall and the cream wallpaper that had been applied. I wanted to ask why she was touching the wall, but I knew that she wouldn't answer me regardless. It was obviously a way for her to familiarize herself with the home, and my questions wouldn't have been of any help.

Bella gave me a timid smile as she left the entryway and headed for the open-planned living room/kitchen. Like with the wall, she ran two fingers over the pastel yellow couch. I wasn't sure whether to stay where I was, or to leave her be and continue doing something else. Did Bella want me to stand beside her? I thought I knew how to 'care' for her, but this had put everything on its head.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, with the hope that it would give me the answer I was looking for.

She gave me another nod, moved away from the couch and headed for the kitchen.

Bella ignored the weekly planner, or maybe she just hadn't spotted it, and stood against the countertop where I'd unloaded the groceries. For a minute, she simply played around with the chorizo sausage and the tomatoes she'd picked out, almost as if she was wondering what to do, or when to do it.

I took a step back, and allowed her to take all the time she needed, and I didn't say another word until she went to take the chopping board.

"I cannot wait to taste this," I said with a smile.

Bella thought for a second, and then went for the drawer that held all the cutlery and brought out a large chopping knife. After that, she collected a frying pan that sat beside the stove, and sat it down on one of the first rings. She looked up at me when she opened a cupboard by her legs.

"Yes?" I asked.

Without saying a word, Bella pointed towards one of the pots. I knew that the pot would have been too heavy for her to lift, and so I decoded the silent plea and took it out for her.

"Is this for the pasta?" I asked, to which she nodded. "Would you like me to fill it with water?"

She nodded again, and then turned back to the chopping board.

It didn't take a genius to work out what she wanted, and so after I'd filled the pot halfway with water, I sat it on the ring beside the frying pan, and flicked on the gas to begin the boiling process.

Bella used the knife to carefully take the chorizo out of the plastic, and then slowly began to slice it. Luna came to sit in front of me as I stood there awkwardly, so I gave her some attention, but watched over Bella at the same time. I knew she was only slicing some chorizo, but I was so incredibly proud with the strength that Bella had managed to gain over the last few months. This was the same girl that had trouble standing not too long ago, and now she was happily cooking away like nothing had ever happened.

Once the water was boiling, I poured some pasta into the pot and added a pinch of salt, and Bella transferred the sausage into the heated pan. She took a wooden spatula from the drawer and then pushed the meat around the pan as it began to cook. I noticed a tiny whisper of a hum leave Bella's mouth as she worked, and it genuinely made me feel quite emotional. Charlie had always said how much she loved to cook, and that was the first time that I saw what he meant.

After the chorizo had been in the pan for a couple of minutes, Bella washed the tomatoes and began to prepare those as well. She had taken the first slice when Luna informed me that she needed to go outside, so I left Bella to it and went to unlock the back door.

_"__Ow!" _I shriek came from the kitchen just as I was closing the door. _"Ow!" _

I slammed the door closed the second I heard that cry, and raced back to Bella. I hadn't felt panic like that in a long time, and for Bella to speak her pain meant that it must have been something serious.

"You're okay, sweetheart," I soothed as I noticed the blood that seeped from her finger. The knife had been abandoned on the countertop, and droplets of blood painted the chopping board.

I helped Bella over to the sink where I ran cold water over the cut and watched as her eyes winced in pain. It was clear to me that the knife must have slipped as she was cutting the tomatoes.

"Keep your finger under the stream, okay? I'll be right back."

I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I ran through the living room and toward the staircase where the bags had been abandoned. I knew I had some Band-Aids upstairs in the bathroom, but the first aid kit in Bella's bag was the closest thing, and for once I was thankful that we took it everywhere with us.

Luna must have heard the shrieks, and she was howling at the back door as I returned to the kitchen. I opened the door and she ran directly toward her owner. It's strange how loud a house can get after being silent for so long.

With a sheet of paper towel in hand, I pulled Bella's finger away from the water and then wrapped it tight in the towel to try and control the bleeding.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I squeezed my hand around the towel. Bella didn't nod or shake her head, so I stayed as calm as possible and continued my job at aiding the cut. I'd never been the best around blood, but I knew that I had to take control here.

"Can you hold this tight for me?" I gently took her free hand and brought it over to the finger that I'd been holding. She did as I said, which gave me the opportunity to quickly switch off the stove, but also take some small plastic bandages from the first aid kit.

"You're doing so well," I praised. "I'm going to take the towel away now, so you might want to close your eyes."

Again, Bella did exactly as I said, and nestled her face into my arm as I removed the blood-stain paper towel. I didn't know a lot about cuts, but I knew that hers wasn't too bad, and that the knife could've caused much more damage if she hadn't been careful.

I wrapped the bandage carefully over the cut, but then added another closer to the tip of the finger to give a little bit more support.

"There," I smiled. "It's over now."

Bella brought her face away from my arm, looked up at me with her red-rimmed eyes, and then walked away. I watched in silence as she left the room with Luna by her side.

I didn't know what to do. Whether I should follow her, or continue making the dinner? But did Bella even want to eat that meal anymore?

I followed my gut instinct, and made sure that she was okay before I did anything else. The food could wait until later, but Bella can't. I found her curled up on the couch with Luna lying next to her. Bella had one arm propped up on the top of the couch which she used as a pillow for her head.

"Hey," I said quietly as I squatted down beside her. "Are you okay?"

Bella halted for a second, and then gave me a dainty nod. I had a feeling that she probably thought that she'd failed at the task, and her mind must have said that she was useless at everything the tried, and so it was my job to make her see that that wasn't the case.

"What's going on in here?" I asked as I tapped her forehead lightly.

Bella shrugged her shoulders, and distracted herself by running the fingers of her good hand through Luna's fur. That was the first time that she hadn't told me how to help, and it was the worst feeling in the world. I just wanted to help this poor girl, but I had no way of communicating with her properly. I hadn't expected her voice to come back anytime soon, and Bella only knew the essential signs, so how was I going to get an answer from someone who couldn't give one, but also didn't want to?

"Do you feel like you failed?" I tried, but again, Bella only shrugged her shoulders. "Do you want to go home?"

I knew that she wanted to take this step, and I knew that she wanted to overcome this hurdle, but I'd never seen her react like this before, and I was at a loss for what to do.

To my question, Bella shook her head, but at least it was't a shrug.

"How can I help you? Is there anything I can do to make this better?" I asked.

As Bella shook her head, her bottom lip began to quiver and tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. It must have been terribly hard to battle in silence, and even though I'd tackled my own problems in the past, I knew that this was far worse than I'd ever imagine, or that I'd ever face in my life.

There was no way for me to help her, and for once I felt like I was the one who'd failed. Bella meant the world to me, but what the hell was I supposed to do? How was I able to dry those tears and take the negative thoughts out of her mind?

"How about I phone Charlie, yeah? He always knows what to do," I suggested.

I didn't wait for her answer that time. I was in charge of her mental state, and I had to do what was best.

Charlie answered only seconds after the phone began to ring.

_"__Hi, Edward," _he spoke in a panicked tone.

"I'm so sorry for interrupting you," I said as I turned on the speaker for Bella to also hear the conversation.

_"__You're not interrupting anything. How can I help you, son?"_

"Bella had a little accident when making the dinner and has cut her finger," I explained. "She's okay, but I think she feels a bit defeated now, and I was hoping you might have the ability to make her feel better?"

That was my way of saying that she wouldn't talk to me, and I had a feeling that Charlie caught onto that.

_"__Are you there, Bells?" _

I peered over to see Bella look at the phone with a side eye, but that was the only movement she made.

"She can hear you," I answered.

_"__Whatever happened this evening is in the past, honey. Think about what you can do from now on, and if you want to go home, you just need to tell Edward, okay?" _

I looked up at Bella, but she'd distracted herself with Luna's fur once again. How would she feel if I made her go home to her safety bubble? This house obviously held nothing but trauma, and I didn't want to be the one who forced her to stay in place where she no longer felt safe.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked one more time.

Bella shrugged her shoulders but didn't offer anything else.

_"__Is she okay?" _Charlie asked.

I knew I had to be honest with him, regardless of whether Bella liked it or not. Sometimes we had to be cruel to be kind, and the truth was the best scenario.

"She won't answer any of my questions," I replied. "Bella will either say nothing at all, or she'll shrug her shoulders. I don't know what to do, Charlie."

_"__I know it's difficult, but I think it's best to stay where you are for now. I'll come to you when I've finished for the night." _

"Okay, thanks," I smiled, even though Charlie couldn't see it.

_"__Just make sure you both stay comfortable, and I trust you to do whatever you think necessary."_

We ended the call shortly after that, but from the way that Bella acted, it almost felt like the conversation hadn't happened, or, that she hadn't taken much notice of it. It had gone past her dinner time, and I knew that she needed to eat, but I couldn't work out what to make her. The only real food we had in the house was the pasta and sausage we'd bought from the store, but I doubt Bella could stomach that.

The entire dilemma had caused my own anxiety to flare up, and I felt my body tingle as a sign that I needed to take my medication, but I didn't have the strength to leave her for a single second. I knew I needed to take care of myself, because Bella wouldn't be able to help if my anxiety became worse, but it's difficult to look after myself when she was my main priority.

A thousand different options ran through my mind, and I had a few ideas of what to do, but only one of them stood out clearer than the others. I decided to go with that, and I'd work my way on from there.

"I think Luna needs to have some dinner," I said with my cheeriest tone possible. "Shall we go and serve up some food for her?"

I saw Luna's ears perk up at the sound of food, but she was trained not to get distracted by little things like that. If Bella needed her comfort, Luna couldn't afford to dart off to get some food.

Without giving me an answer, Bella tapped the air over the couch so that Luna knew to get off the furniture, and then Bella curled her legs over the side so that she sat up right again. I stood up straight, and a pain shot down my back from squatting down for so long. When Bella began the slow walk back into the kitchen, I ran to grab Luna's bag from beside the stairs.

I pulled out the two steels bowls and sat them neatly beside the back door, and then used a mug to fill up one of the bowls with water. Bella kept Luna in the 'watch me' command, and she didn't break the command until I had filled the other bowl with the correct amount of food.

"Would you like to eat something?" I asked carefully. "I have some fries in the freezer if you'd like that?"

Bella never took her eyes away from her dog, but the subtle nod answered my question, but also told me that she'd listened to every word I said. It didn't matter that she didn't feel strong enough to answer, at least she paid attention to my every word.

I gave her a supportive rub on her back, and then took the few steps that separated me from the freezer. I heated the oven to the correct temperature, poured a healthy amount of food onto a tray, and then shoved them in and closed the door. A plateful of fries wasn't the healthiest meal, and I probably would have been scorned for not offering a more balanced dinner, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Bella needed food, but she more importantly needed the calories they held. If the only thing she'd eat was a plate of fries, then I wasn't going to be the one to stop that.

She could return to the meal plan tomorrow, or whenever she felt better, but now wasn't the time.

I busied myself during the time that it took for the food to cook, and brought some plates out from a cupboard, along with a couple of forks and some glasses. Fortunately for Bella, I had one can of La Croix left in the refrigerator, and so I cranked open the can and poured the orange-flavored, carbonated water, into the glass and added a paper straw if she wanted to use it.

"What do you like on your fries?" I asked as I located the bottle of ketchup. I knew how she wanted them, but I wanted to make conversation wherever possible. "Salt?" I asked.

Bella nodded.

"And a dollop of ketchup on the side, right?"

She nodded again.

I couldn't think of what else to ask, and so I focused on cleaning up the countertop, and discarded the used chopping board and knife into the empty sink. By time the chorizo and the rest of the tomatoes were back in the fridge, the fries were ready.

"These smell good," I smiled, but my expression didn't carry over to Bella. She was more intrigued with the Band-Aid around her injured finger.

I felt my depression rise as every minute went by. All I wanted was a smile, or perhaps some reassurance that everything was okay, but I never got that. Was I doing a good job? Did Bella want her father here instead of me? Or, was she holding a grudge because I had brought her here?

It worried me that she wouldn't want anything to do with me after this evening. Perhaps it was the final straw, and now Bella knew who she wanted in her life and who she didn't? I wanted to be present, and I wanted to care for her, but if she didn't want that, then I'd accept it. It hadn't take me long to realize that I'd do absolutely anything for this woman. I'd jump if Bella asked me to, I'd take a bullet and jump in front of a train if I had to. As long as she was safe, and she was happy, I'd sacrifice everything else.

0-0

Things hadn't improved after dinner, and I knew it was bad when Luna needed to be let out into the yard, and Bella began to sob. She didn't stop crying until I'd walked her over to the back door and shone the light on my phone in order to see the dog who ran around my back yard. The number of times a day that Luna gets let out into the yard, and Bella didn't have a problem with it, until now. She didn't feel safe unless she had Luna in her sight, and that didn't play well with me.

The three of us travelled upstairs, to a part of the house that Bella was still to enter, and I walked her into the spare bedroom. I'd sorted out the room before she arrived, and so the bed held freshly laundered sheets, and I had a feeling that her old room, which was now my room, wasn't the best place for her to sleep.

"Would you like to take a shower?" I asked. We didn't have a luxury of a bath unlike Charlie's house, but I wanted to stick to her daily routine as much as possible.

To my surprise, Bella accepted the offer.

I found some clean towels, and made sure the shower was at a suitable temperature before I left the room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't bring any of your normal products," I said as I pointed towards the bottles on the small shelf. "You'll be okay using mine though, yeah?"

Bella nodded again, but she stood stock-still as a silent way of telling me to leave. I knew that Charlie always sat outside the room, and so I did exactly the same thing. A small smile curled across my lips when I heard the shower door close, and through the busy noise of the water, I heard as a bottle lid opened and then closed again a few seconds later.

Fifteen minutes after I'd closed the door, Luna let out a small yap. It wasn't loud enough to cause me distress, but I knew from the tone of the bark that Bella wanted my attention, and she'd asked Luna to do the honors.

I stood from the spot on the carpet and then poked my head around the door. Bella stood in the shower stall with a large towel wrapped tight around her body. Her damp hair hung in clumps over her shoulders, and the room had been filled with clouds of steam from the water.

"How can I help?" I asked.

Bella pointed a finger down to the ground, and that was when I noticed that I stupidly hadn't replaced the bath mat. I had taken the original one downstairs to get washed this morning, and it had been at the top of my to-do list to put a fresh one down. She must have been scared that she would lose her footing, or slip on the shiny tiles.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. "Here, take my hand."

The lack of a bath mat, and the idea of failing to have a shower, was just another thing that added to the pressure of the night, and only made her condition worse.

0-0

Due to the unfortunate events that had happened earlier on that evening, Bella didn't fall asleep until ten-thirty that night. I knew that she'd stayed awake that late before, but on a normal day, if Bella was tired, she always went to bed at eight. I knew she was exhausted, but it simply wasn't possible for her to go to bed at that time.

I stayed with her, and stroked her hair gently as she fell asleep, but then I left Luna in charge and closed the door softly behind me. There were a few things that I needed to do, but the evening had also taken its toll on me, and I didn't waste any time in taking myself to bed. I'd sent Charlie a quick message saying that Bella had managed to have something to eat, and took a shower, but that I'd call him in the morning to reassure him that she was okay.

I sat the pillows up against the headboard and relaxed back as I pulled my laptop onto my lap. I had a few emails from work to answer, and I had to make sure I knew my schedule for the following day, but luckily I didn't have any deadlines until noon, and by that point Charlie would have taken Bella home. If she was still here then, of course. I had know idea what the rest of the evening was going to hold, and as I slipped into a peaceful sleep, I had no idea that my dreams were going to be interrupted so quickly.

I wasn't sure what it was that woke me up in the first place, but when I heard the glass-shattering screams mixed with the loud barks from Luna, I shot straight out of bed and ran into the spare room. I only wore a pair of pajama pants, but I doubt Bella would have noticed my bare chest, especially from the screams that filled the house.

The sight I witnessed as I entered the room would stay with me for the rest of my life.

Bella had sat straight up in bed, with the comforter in a ball toward one end of it. She had fistfuls of hair in both hands, and yanked on it hard as she let out the loudest screams I'd ever heard. Luna stood beside the bed, and gave me a look when I walked in. The expression in the dog's eyes was somewhat like a plea, begging me to save her owner. I imagined that Luna had already tried to lie down on the bed, but if Bella's arms and legs start flailing, it wasn't a safe space for anyone to be in.

"Hey, hey," I said calmly as I sat behind Bella and took her hands in my own. "You're okay, I'm here."

The screaming continued, and I was scared that Bella was going to pull out chunks of her hair if she didn't let the strands out of her grasp.

"Ssh," I whispered. "It was just a dream."

Suddenly the screaming stopped, and Bella turned her head ever so slightly so that I could see her face. Her eyes were open wide and she stared in the direction of the window, but the faraway look made it seem as though she wasn't taking any of it in.

"James," she said as clear as day. "James, please."

She was in a trance.

A trance so severe that I hadn't witnessed one like it in almost a year.

The mental block in her throat didn't exist when she was having an episode like this, and talking no longer appeared to be a problem.

"James isn't here, love. You'll never see him again," I replied with the hope that she'd hear me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'll never do it again, please. Please, don't hurt me."

I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to answer her or not. The picture in her head wasn't real, but maybe she'd think James was talking if she heard me speak?

"No one's going to hurt you," I said quietly.

"Not the chain," Bella urged as she ripped her hands out from mine. She grabbed a hold of neckline of her t-shirt and began to pull at it, like the piece of clothing was the chain in her mind. "Don't strangle me, please."

I stayed silent and offered my comfort through gentle strokes and kisses on the back of her head.

"I'll do whatever you say, just don't strangle me," Bella's voice became louder and stronger the more she spoke.

It was the most I'd ever heard her say in one go, but unfortunately I never wanted her to repeat the words that left her mouth.

"No one's going to hurt you," I repeated.

"No! No! Stop!"

The sobbing stopped and was replaced with the labored panting. I tried to remove Bella's hands away from her neck, but the trance had also improved her strength, and it wasn't as easy as I'd first hoped. Her body vibrated as the tremor rippled through her, and in the split second her trance had turned into a panic attack.

"Listen to me, Bella," I urged as I quickly moved to sit in front of her. "Can you hear me talking?"

Her head wobbled backwards and forwards, and so I had no idea whether she'd answered me or not.

"If you can hear me, I want you to open your eyes."

A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead and dropped onto the bridge of her nose. Her cheeks were blushed puffed out as the attack increased. I didn't know what to do, and my phone was in the other room so I couldn't easily get it to phone for help. I had to get her breathing under control, but I had the added fear that the trance could return.

"Breathe, Bella," I said as I cupped one hand around her cheek. "Focus on your breathing."

I continued using the same technique for an additional five minutes, and then tried something else when I noticed that she'd slowly taken back control.

"Can you feel this?" I asked as I stroked a finger across her hand.

Bella blindly felt around for my hand, and tapped the finger that had been stroking her hand.

"Good, that's great!" I grinned. "Can you feel this?" my finger looped around some of the hair that hung beside her face.

Once again, like with the hand, she touched her hair.

"You're doing so well, beautiful."

Tears formed in my eyes as I noticed her improvement. I knew the episode was far from over, but her reactions alone were enough to make me cry.

"Ow," she moaned once the attack had subsided enough.

"What hurts?" I asked.

I'd half expected for her to touch her neck, or perhaps her throat, but she did something completely different.

"Ow," she moaned again and rubbed the right side of her forehead.

Had she hit her head before I came through?

"Where does it hurt, love? Can you show me?"

I couldn't see any red marks, or the start of a bruise, but then I thought that maybe a headache had formed from all the stress. It wouldn't have been the first time that that had happened.

"It hurts so bad, Edward. Help me."

That was when I knew that the trance had returned, but I couldn't work out why I was in it that time.

"Why does it hurt?" I asked carefully, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer or not.

It turned that no, I didn't want to hear the answer.

"Gun. Bang. Blood."

She'd imagined that she'd been shot, straight in the head.

I moved my hand up to where she fingers sat on her forehead, and rubbed the area gently.

"No one's shot you, and no one's hurt you. You're perfectly safe with me."

"Save me, Edward," Bella pleaded.

"I'm trying."

How did I help someone when they couldn't leave the world in their head? How did I prove to her that she hadn't been shot.

The tears that rimmed my eyes fell one by one. It was the hardest thing I'd ever witnessed, and I'd seen a lot in my time.

"Tell me how I can help you," I said with a broken voice.

Her eyes were screwed shut, and her head continued to wobble around. I took those signs, and did the only thing I thought could help.

"Can you open your eyes, love?" I asked.

"Too… real," she panted.

"It's not real," I replied. "I need you to open your eyes in order for me to help you."

She refused for a couple of minutes, but then slowly, very slowly, she opened her eyes.

"Can you see me?" I asked.

Bella blinked rapidly, to help her focus on the room, and then she nodded her head ever so slightly.

"Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?" I had to make sure she wasn't still in the trance, and so I held three fingers up by my face.

"Th-three," she replied.

"Good, that's great," I smiled. "Now, I need you to tell me what I'm doing."

I closed the small distance between us and wrapped my arms around her shaking form. I didn't apply to much pressure to the hug, but it was enough that she hopefully knew what I was doing.

"Cuddle," Bella panted.

It took a short while for her to register the hug, but then her arms curled out from our embrace and she locked them around me.

"You're safe," I whispered.

"You… saved me."

"I'll always save you," I replied earnestly.

When I pulled away, I saw the pained expression that coated her face. Bella delicately raised one arm, and with a crooked finger she wiped the tears that were still on my cheeks. Her frown alone told me the question she wanted to ask.

"I was so scared. I didn't know what to do," I said honestly.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you're important to me, and I wanted to help in any way that I could."

"You did," Bella gave me a faint smile, but it shined brightly in the dark room.

I wasn't sure whether or not to bring up James, but I think Bella knew it was a dream, and he hadn't hurt her, and he wasn't in the room. I also wasn't sure what his name would do to her, and so I focused on looking after her, and if Bella wanted to mention it, then I'd leave that up to her.

"Are you okay now?" I asked.

"Stay?" she replied.

"I'll stay until you ask me to leave."

0-0

We sat for a further ten minutes, mostly in silence. I'd stuck to my promise, and took the spare side of the bed, and once Luna had seen it was safe again, she also jumped up and curled her large body across our laps.

I helped Bella lie down and get settled, and that was when I noticed that I still didn't have a top on.

"Will you be okay if I run into my room to grab a t-shirt?" I asked as I pointed to my chest.

"Stay… it's okay," she whispered her reply.

I didn't know if she only said that so I didn't have to leave the room, but I knew that she'd let me know if it was really a problem for her. I decided to let that slide, and after I'd adjusted how Luna sat, I slipped my legs further down the bed and made myself comfortable.

I was almost certain that Bella was asleep again, because she hadn't made a sound in almost five minutes, but then she surprised me once again.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yes?" I asked, unsure of whether she was actually talking to me, or if she'd mumbled in her sleep.

"You… have experience," she replied.

Experience? What did she mean by that? Experience with what?

"What do you mean, honey?" It was safer for me just to ask her.

"With… episodes," Bella muttered against my arm.

She knew about my issues with mental health, and it wasn't the first time that I'd mentioned it, but I'd never told her the real reason. I wasn't sure why I hadn't told her anything, but if Bella was the one to bring it up in conversation, then surely she felt okay to talk about it.

"I understand what you're going through," I confirmed. "I was diagnosed with it when I was thirteen, and so even though I understand, I have had the time to work my way around it."

"What happened?" she asked. Bella adjusted the way she lay and moved her body further up the headboard.

I stayed in the same position, and ran my fingers through Luna's fur; the same thing Bella did when she felt anxious or uncomfortable. It wasn't that I was anxious about talking about my life, especially not with her, but the story always left an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Nothing really set it off," I began. "I'd always been easy to wind up, and I'd be quick to react if something happened that I didn't like. Y'know, if Emmett tried to fight or something."

"Sibling… fights?"

"The very same. So it wasn't anything serious, but I reacted badly."

I remembered those days so clearly. I never thought of it as anything serious, but my parents had been watching my actions like a hawk.

"Carlisle picked up on the symptoms first, but he never said anything to me until he knew for sure," I continued. "Things only got worse as I grew older, and my head couldn't handle the changes in my body. I had my first panic attack when I entered high school and my schedule changed suddenly."

A schedule is a big thing for someone who suffers with a mental health condition. The change in your every day life can cause more harm than good.

"Was it… scary?" Bella asked in a whisper. I felt her hand trace over the round of my shoulder, and the gentle touch alone made everything ten times better.

"It was terrifying," I answered honestly. I saw no point in holding back the truth, especially as she knew what it felt like.

"I thought I was going to die, and I was certain that my chest was seconds away from exploding," my hand automatically rubbed over my chest like the pain had returned. "I couldn't understand what was happening to me, or why it was happening to me and no one else. I didn't realize how normal it was at the time. And that's why I've always had issues with new people, or leaving the bubble I'd built around myself."

"I'm sorry," she said. Her hand continued to stroke my shoulder.

I wanted to laugh. Bella was apologizing to _me. _

After everything she had been through, and she felt bad for me.

I suppose that just showed how large her heart is, and that despite James' best efforts, he couldn't take that away from her.

"Why are you saying sorry?" I asked.

"Because…" Bella paused for a second as she thought over her answer. "Because… you're too lovely… to hurt like that."

Was I hearing this right? Did she really just say that?

"Sweetheart," I let out a light snort as I moved up against the bed to sit beside her. I needed to look Bella directly in the eyes as I spoke what was going on in my head. "I wish you saw yourself clearer."

A frown curled between her eyebrows.

It was going to be harder than I first thought. I literally had to spell it out to her.

"You said I was too lovely to hurt like that, but you don't think you're the same?"

Instead of vocalizing her answer, Bella shrugged her shoulders.

She really had no idea how wonderful she really is.

"Anyone who experiences what you went through, and can come out as strong as you are, trumps me any day of the week."

"But it's… I don't…" she mumbled over her words.

I gave Bella all the time in the world, and after she thought over them for a second, she tried again.

"I can't be fixed."

"And why is that?" I asked.

I couldn't believe the absurdity of what I was hearing.

"I can't… enjoy normal things."

I wasn't sure how that answer tied in to the conversation, but I had a feeling that Bella had something playing on her mind, and if that was her way of telling me her troubles, then I wasn't going to be the one to put a stop to that. And so instead of asking her what she meant by that, a played a long as normal.

"You will enjoy those things, it'll just take a bit of time, love."

"I'll never… run right."

"With the help of the medication, and Luna, and us, you'll be as good as new in no time."

Bella let out a deep sigh, paused for a second, and then she snuggled up underneath the comforter. I stayed silent and watched as Bella turned over in the bed so that she faced me once again.

"Soft…" she said as she ran a finger over my flannel pajama pants.

It amazed me how comfortable she felt in my presence, especially seeing as I didn't have a shirt on. My head was a mess from the conversation we had recently shared, and the subtle touches weren't helping, but I was thankful that James hadn't forced that fear into her head. He had filled her with many, but at least that wasn't one of them.

"I wonder what Charlie would think if he saw this," I chuckled.

"I don't… think he'd mind."

I had to have been missing something, but what was it?

"You're sure about that?" I smirked, but I doubt she could have seen me in the dark. I felt like I had to joke about what her father would think.

"I don't want to… live with him forever."

Bella had subtly given me a bit more of a look into her troubled thoughts, but I still had to decode them.

"You won't - your living arrangements are only temporary at the moment, sweetheart."

"I hope so," she whispered.

I'd held off from asking her what the real issue was, but after I'd heard those answers, I needed to know exactly what she was thinking.

"What's wrong, love? What are you not telling me?"

I had just enough light to see as Bella took a lock of her hair and twirled it around one of her fingers. I felt guilty for making her react that way, and for potentially bringing the anxiety back into the front of her mind again, but I needed to know what she was thinking. Earlier on, in the midst of her panic attack, she'd begged me to save her. How was I supposed to do that if she wouldn't let me in? For me to help her, I had to know what was bothering her.

"I'm… lonely," she responded after a couple of minutes. "I have dreams… but they won't come true… anymore."

It broke my heart to hear that she felt lonely. It never even occurred to me that she could have felt lonely, especially when she only had the company of me and her father. Part of me thought that Bella didn't want to invite other people into her personal space, but apparently I was wrong. And the mention of lost dreams wasn't a surprise. I had dreams of my own which were hard to fulfil, so I knew that she would have been the same.

"What are your dreams?" I asked, with the intention of telling her mine, too.

"I wanted… a family. Someone who… loved me."

I'm glad she couldn't see the pain that flashed across my face. "You'll find that, sweetheart, I'm sure of it. If that's what you want, then nothing can stop you from getting it."

Bella rested her head against my arm, and out of instinct, I stroked back the hair that had fallen in front of her face. Something had changed over the course of the last thirty minutes, and I no longer held the same uncertainty when Bella used me as a pillow. The first time it had happened, when she snuck downstairs and we woke up in an interesting position, I was scared that it was going to cause a set back in her, but this had proved me wrong. She wanted to do it.

"Promise?" She broke the silence.

"Of course; you're ten times stronger than you think, and I promise that you'll get that dream."

Five minutes passed, and I knew that something was going on inside her, but I felt like I'd already asked too much. Bella hadn't been so open for a while, and with the night that we'd had, if that was all she was going to say, then I'd accept that.

But, because Bella is Bella, she surprised me once more.

I was almost asleep when she spoke again.

"I'll hold you… to that."

0-0

**Bella's trance was intense, and difficult to write, but how do you feel after that conversation? She's getting there!**

**There will be another time jump in the next chapter, but if you'd like to read it then please leave me a review. They fuel me on! **


End file.
